A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:by my work colleagues?Im a quiet person i have been on night shift for nearly 2 years but now due a management decision I must go back to day shift,i am a bit annoyed but accept this, I will work as required, i like my job! I am nice to my work colleagues, never nasty, most of the time I will say hi to them when i go into work, i work in a hospital, this is a very different workplace to an office or a store.Whenever I have a one on one or conversation in the past ive tried to be interested in my colleagues and make small talk and try to be nice. My workplace has lots of cliques, my boss (my age) is very clicky with the younger girls in my workplace, they do go out together and socializeI try to try talk to most ppl, im not in any cliques, which is OK, i dont wanna be their best buddies!just for them to talk to me too. i gotta work with them.i never get asked out socially by any of them,including the ppl my age and older,which is fine i have my life out of work, (about half the workplace are quite young, younger then me,) i can say hi to them and make small talk reasonably OK.) i have no enemies but im not included, i say hi and be polite, im not nasty, do I try to fit in? or just do my work andbe polite and just be me, which means being left out at times? Its hard to talk to them in a group or if ther is more than one of them around. A lot of my colleagues are mostly friends and they can talk about whatever, i dont try to hard,In the past i have been a freindly person who says hi and will, sometimes make the small talk, but now i feel like giving up, i know lots of workplaces have cliques..I dont want to be their BFF!, just to be asked how i am occasioanally and have someone to talk to meother than "hi" "bye" and work talk.Most of them they are so into themselves, i feel like giving up and saying hi and thats it, am stressed about working days again and not being accepted? what can i do? just get on with my work and to hell with them? dont want to be seen as the "quiet one" that worked nights. sorry for the length. This is a real issue for me, and i need constructive/real advice - plse dont be nasty! thanks in advance
View related questions:
my boss, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): this is the original poster. thanks for the advice, i dont get told or asked to social things,ie drinks after work or dinner at someones house. There is no set social group at my workplace, just cliques that exclude. I always go to the xmas party! and if someone leaves and i am off i will always go and try to be social, but noone ever leaves. I always hear about the social events after the event or just before its going to happen once a woman turning 40 even handed out invites to most ppl but me in a room full of ppl. talk is to each other "hey jane what do want me to bring to the BBQ" or " drinks after work thursday? im in" or "how about that party sat, wow jane was so funny, it was great!"I have freinds outside of work, not many but they are there, and it would be nice if work colleagues were to juts talk to me sometimes, i do try. giess i just say hi and tlak to those who will say more than "hi" thats if they even say hi, like is aid most colleagues are so inot themself.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 I know it's not easy to make friends in the workplace, especially in a female dominated environment. I too work in a hospital and people are definitely cliquey amongst certain groups.
I am quite a reserved person and I found it hard to fit into my department. I work for maternity as a support worker so I am not 'degree trained' but I am job specific trained and have worked very hard to build my career. There is a definite divide between medically trained staff and support staff but through the years I have embraced the pleasant people and basically just ignored the ones who I don't really like. As far as I am concerned, I do my job to the best of my ability and give the most support to those staff who respect me for my position.
I have always had a little low self esteem and used to shy away from invites (it took a time for me to be invited along to social functions but I started by going to the Christmas lunch and then forcing myself to go to birthday gatherings and such) I found the more I went along, the more I got invited. I must admit that my work colleagues are a social bunch and there is always some or other event or camping trip. We even have a bunch who take a monthly countryside walk and it's always an open invitation for everyone. We also arrange the odd bingo/ restaurant night which is brilliant fun.
Sometimes I do feel on the outside edge but I think I put myself there...maybe thats what your doing because you fear people wont like you. If it's making you worried or unhappy I can guarantee it won't be as big of a deal for your colleagues. If the opportunity arises, go along to something social...even if it's just a leaving do or a drink down the pub. Try to be relaxed and let yourself go a little and you will be surprised how everyones attitude will change towards you.
I know it's hard not to judge how other people behave in groups but try to ignore it and just 'be in the moment' for fun.
There will always be someone bitching about someone but rise above it, let people see your soft side and go for it!!!
Best of luck xxx
...............................
|
