A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a man for about a month, he told me that we was falling for me almost immediatly. We seem to share the same world view, he tells me he's been looking for his mate for two years. He is divorced since 2001. He has opened up his finances, we have similar values, we seem to want the same thing from each other and we are very comfortable together. what he is offering is everything I have ever wanted, he is so excited about me, he wants to introduce me to family and to his kids and friends already and has discussed marriage he says he knows I'm he one . He wants to start working together towards that. But somehow I don't trust it, I am just out of a two year relationship with someone who made me feel completely compromised insecure and unstable. This guy is everything the other one was not but I am afraid that I am falling because I want it so bad to be true I don't want to feel used again. Could it be true love?
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 March 2010):
 If you are feeling maybe its too good to be true, then maybe it is. There's no way to truly know someone after just a month. Take your time! If he's genuine, you'll know, and if he's not..well..you'll find that out too. But thinking of marriage after just a month is going WAY TOO FAST! Think with your head, your heart doesn't sound like its being too logical at the moment. good luck!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 I agree with Lexie. It's far too soon to be talking about marriage. I too met a guy a few years ago and he was the same, like an excited puppy and totally into me. He was talking about marriage after only a few weeks and seemed to be offering the world. Suddenly on the turn of a hair he changed his mind and was gone!
As Lexie said, slow things down and get to know him better. If in a year or so he is still as keen then chances are he may be genuine.
Please let us know how your getting on.
AE xx
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Only time will tell if he's genuine or not. What I can tell you is that quite often the men who want it all right now and who profess their love for you within a short time frame are not really in it for the long haul. But this is just a generalization and I don't mean to spoil the party. If I could give you any advice it's to take things easy and don't lap up every words he utters. He may be genuine but you need time to decide if that is so.
I speak from personal experience. Met someone and he was head over heels for me...swept me off my feet. I started to believe all the hype and my expectations went through the roof. He then changed his mind and left me. All in 2 months time.
So, while it could be genuine, wait a bit, let things progress slowly. I used to have a tendency to want things to happen, to want it all now...and that's why I believed and trusted the guy who appeared to be into me. You might be right and you might be falling for him because he 'seems' to be offering you everything you want. He seems to be meeting your fantasy version of what a man should be.
Just the fact that you've said that you don't trust all he's doing is reason enough to slow down. Take your time and lower your expectations. If he's with you three, six or 12 months down the line, all the better. If not, you will not have built all these expectations only to be taken for a ride.
Although I will generalize again, most of the men who start off with fireworks and bright lights, burn out as fast as they start. Trust your gut instinct, take things slow and don't get too involved emotionally before you have a better sense of what he's all about. All you can do is give it time.
All the best :)
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