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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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How do I get my self-esteem and confidence back after all life has thrown at me?
Q. When I came to this site, I was rock bottom in life. After going through so much adversity, in my life my self esteem plummeted. After visiting this site, I learned that so many man and women are going through similar problems and issues. My ...
A. 24 November 2009: Amongst many things I believe that a fundemental act of getting your self esteem and confidence back is to take real good care of yourself. Keeping healthy, eating a well balanced diet and taking some execise make you feel better. It doesn't have to ... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex another chance?!
Q. I have broken up with my boyfriend because he can not decide who he wants - me or this other girl. Should i give him another chance or not? ...
A. 24 November 2009: I cant really see it's your choice until he has made up his mind. If there is someone else he likes then it's his choice who he picks and it's your choice as to whether you take him back (if he picks you)...but do you really need a boyfriend who is ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my husband's relationship with my daughter-in-law?
Q. I am having a problem with my husband and daughter in-law. It seems that they have a seperate relationship that I am not a part of they can talk for hours and hours about things I have nothing to do with my husband says he should have a seperate ...
A. 17 November 2009: Hmm its not wrong to get on with the relatives but it is a bit odd when your husband thinks he should have a separate relationship with your daughter in law. You need to dig a bit deeper...perhaps speak to your daughter in law and see if things are ... (read in full...)
Should I meet this girl?? I think she could be trouble.
Q. I have been dating this guy off and on for 2 years. This year has been great. He told me about this girl he had been friends with. He had told her about me when he first started to see me. Anyway he is friends with her whole family. He does not ...
A. 17 November 2009: If your source is reliable and has warned you to be careful around this 'friend' then perhaps you should steer clear, sound like you have it in for her anyhow so why make the situation worse. It all sounds a bit creepy to me!!!... (read in full...)
So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 15 November 2009: :-)...such is life xxx... (read in full...)
How do I get through to him that it's not funny?
Q. soo me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 5 months now. we're jus coming back from a huge fight and break up and arent exactly together, jus working on things. so this weekend has been very good and we're happy, but today, i was at my ...
A. 26 October 2009: He is saying it because he's a young man with limited understanding of relationships and perhaps an immature and misguided sense of jealousy. Maybe he thinks he has to make a fuss of it because it makes him more manly. People will create drama out ... (read in full...)
How can I get over losing this man?
Q. How can I get over losing this man? He has a partner already so I knew it would never work out long-term but I didn't expect it to end the way that it did. Basically we were both out one night (with seperate groups of friends) and I grew increasin...
A. 26 October 2009: When you get involved with someone who is in a relationship with someone else, you are more or less commiting yourself to heartache and pain. Now he isn't giving you any attention you are feeling the full effect of entering into something that was ... (read in full...)
How do I kill my masterbation habit?
Q. I am 22 addicted to masturbation for about 10 years or so.I masturbate more than once in day.I want to leave this habit. What should i do for the restlessness i feel when not masturbating?Especially if i get bored ..and have nothing to do I ...
A. 26 October 2009: You shouldn't worry...it's actually normal and part of being a man.... (read in full...)
My husband is always cheating on me!
Q. i am an indian woman whois very sincere to her husband and family. We got married 30 years ago after 7 years of love with each other inspite of my parents unwiilingness they maaried us. My husband had cheated me earlier also many a times. and i was ...
A. 22 October 2009: There must be someone within your temple whom you could speak to regarding this. You have evidence of messages between them and surely cheating is not at all acceptable within your religion. It is not fair that you should have to suffer this way but ... (read in full...)
Should I just be patient and continue talking while giving him more time?
Q. my ex and i have been recently talking----i reached out a year later (he ended it but our problems didn't consist of anything that couldnt be changed)b/c i still had feelings and took a chance..well basically he said he can't just jump back to this ...
A. 22 October 2009: Aww you sound an absolute sweetie!! and you sound like you really care for this guy. I know your confused about what you should do, but it's probably best to give him a little more time. You can't be absolutely sure at this time that he still wants ... (read in full...)
Is he just leading me on? Why doesn't he call me?
Q. I have a childhood friend (guy) whom I lost contact for so many years. We weren't close though but we used to sat together in primary school. Somehow around April this year we were re united again through Facebook. He lives in United States ...
A. 21 October 2009: I can't really see how he is leading you on. Going on what you have described, it seems he would very much like to meet you at the end of the year. He has e-mailed and shown interest and you admit, yourself that you didn't reply for quite some time. ... (read in full...)
I know I love my husband so much, but something's not right...
Q. I know I love my husband so much, but something's not right, I never felt secured and never felt loved, whenever we have an argument we always end up to stay low, and never had the chance to give a stretch in to my point, His mom and I doesnt agreee ...
A. 21 October 2009: There are a lot of people in unhappy marriages or relationships. Some are very good at putting up a false front to cover the pain that lies underneath. They will stay within an unhappy marriage simply because they don't know how to live alone or ... (read in full...)
Does online dating always have to go south?
Q. I dont know what to ask here. I am alone in my life, and everytime I meet a new woman, I always become possessed with thoughts. Like its all I think about and it drives me mad. I think its because Im a lonely person, but I cant help that. I me...
A. 21 October 2009: Hey there,
I tell ya, if anyone seriously knew the complete fail proof way to a perfect relationship, they would be a millionaire...actually probably a billionaire. Of course there are thousands of relationship books and websites offering all mann... (read in full...)
Started as a purely sexual relationship. Now she has feelings and I want to bail!
Q. I'm in a sexual relationship with a woman that had stated from the beginning that all that she was looking for was for fulfilment. OK, with me. What man will turn a foxy woman down? Not many!! Anyway we have been having our weekend get together-s at ...
A. 18 October 2009: I agree with caring guy...you nned to end it as soon as you can. You say your going to do it after your next weekend with her? Why prolong the agony. Call her up, tell her it was never meant to be a loving relationship and then cut the cord.
It is... (read in full...)
How much time does he need to know whether this relationship is the one
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a divorced mom who was marred over fifeen years. I did the on line dating, which was no fun until I met a wonderful older guy a couple of years ago and the relationship developed well. He introduced me to his family members ...
A. 18 October 2009: I wish you the very best of luck and all happiness for the future xxx... (read in full...)
Should I leave a marriage after 30 years over my recent discoveries?
Q. History: Married 30+ yrs. Just found out he's emailing old school friends (women), adding girls (20 yr. olds!) on facebook, porn addicted, and hiding large sums of money. I got nothing for our anniversary. He gave his gift back and told me to re...
A. 16 October 2009: excellent answer from Gina!!! and seriously when he's sitting there alone...a lonely old man who has been long forgotten by some internet floosies, he's going to remember his wife then.
You need to protect yourself from further pain both emotiona... (read in full...)
Should I leave a marriage after 30 years over my recent discoveries?
Q. History: Married 30+ yrs. Just found out he's emailing old school friends (women), adding girls (20 yr. olds!) on facebook, porn addicted, and hiding large sums of money. I got nothing for our anniversary. He gave his gift back and told me to re...
A. 16 October 2009: Been there, done that (after 18 year marriage) I divorced him and I have never looked back.
He is vile to blame you, so little respect for so many years, how dare he!!! but the internet makes it all so easy to cheat and you, like me are part of ... (read in full...)
I've loved her for over 40yrs. How can I change her mind?
Q. I am embarrassed to ask this as I am 62 years old male. 40years ago I fell head over heels in love with a girl. Our mothers worked together and that is how I met her. She was still in High School. This will sound very odd, but we never dated at ...
A. 15 October 2009: I am so touched by this, it brought tears to my eyes. I agree with previous posters that you should probably give her some space and in time perhaps become friends.
Unrequieted love is the worst to live with but at least you have the capacity... (read in full...)
Why bother taking me out on a date if he was just going to disappear?
Q. Dear all another man in my life, another weird situation. I met this guy back in May, we started seeing each other, almost every day and things were going well. He had just come out of a long relationship, so he was holding back and not saying t...
A. 15 October 2009: Sounds like you hit the nail on the head and he isn't ready for a relationship or just doesn't see you as a potential girlfriend. You said you stayed over at his and that your chat had been very sexual. I hate to say it but maybe he was just after ... (read in full...)
Lost in Love: cheating on boyfriend with married man!
Q. I love two wonderful men that love but one is married and he always says that he wants to be with me, but it is so hard to forget him. i find myself always going back to the spot with him on the other hand i live with a wonderful person. he loves ...
A. 15 October 2009: ...Oh and I meant to say...the something missing??? well that would be your honesty and fidelity!!... (read in full...)
Lost in Love: cheating on boyfriend with married man!
Q. I love two wonderful men that love but one is married and he always says that he wants to be with me, but it is so hard to forget him. i find myself always going back to the spot with him on the other hand i live with a wonderful person. he loves ...
A. 15 October 2009: Grrr messy messy messy. All I can say is you reap what you sow...and whatever happens, someone's going to get hurt and it will probably be you.
Leave the married guy alone (force yourself) and as for your BF, well I think it's time you apprecia... (read in full...)
What can I do, my boyfriend raped me?
Q. help Im 16 and my boyfriend is 25 andw when we were in his car he drove far away and raped me and he keeps sayind and texting he'll do it agian when hes not busy.It hurts and hes mates say and have tried too have sex with me help!...
A. 15 October 2009: You need to tell your parents and also the police. It's the only way it will stop.... (read in full...)
I just want to know the truth, am I fat?
Q. umm.... wel i've always been really consious bout the way i look and my weight. and now it's just worse than eva because i just read this article about this model that got fired because she was to big and she was a size 8 (british size) t...
A. 15 October 2009: No your not fat...ok? Size 8 isn't fat and if you believe everything you read in magazines your going to be pretty neurotic and shallow by the time you grow up.
Everybody knows supermodels starve themselves, live on cigarettes and coffee and prom... (read in full...)
I came clean to him about how I felt, and he still hasn't replied! I thought we were friends!
Q. i have been seeing a man for two years, i suppose u can call it friends with benefits, i have always felt he only wants to see me for a quicki. but we have built a good friendship up, i have had a 6 month relationship during this friendship, with ...
A. 15 October 2009: I am sorry for your troubles and that you have gotten used by this man. I have to say that you knew it was only ever a FWB situation from the start and could never be anything more. You have had two pregnancies as a result of this liason and even ... (read in full...)
If we spend a lot of time together but have never kissed, does this mean he has feelings for me or not?
Q. If my friend and I go on trips together often, eat together also, just hang out a lot, but have never kissed, is he into me or not? He's never said he loves me, but, he always ask me to accompany him to places, to travel, etc...He's a pastor and I'm ...
A. 14 October 2009: I agree with Honey...he may just see you both as very good friends. You could tell him how you feel but you may risk the relationship ending if he is not on the same emotional wave as you. If he is a pastor them perhaps he isn't looking for romance, ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself loving this man? He is a manipulative monster and a perv, I just want to stop loving him!
Q. My heart is broken, I have been with this "wonderful" man for three years now, a hairdresser, he has pampered me and took me away on breaks, i have been taken to all his family birthday meals etc. Last weekend, my birthday weekend, we were at his ...
A. 14 October 2009: If you need to talk about it, drop me a private message and we can have a chat.
Angie xx... (read in full...)
Is talking on chat lines a form of cheating?
Q. my husband has recently been talking on this chat line invu, he stay up all night talking to women about things that are inappropriate,i have talked to him about it and he is staying on it. he say it isn't cheating because it is not real, I think it ...
A. 13 October 2009: Grrrr it makes me so angry to hear another relationship is being destroyed via the internet. To dat I have 9 close friends who's partners have all strayed in this way and 5 of them lead to divorce.
If you have already spoken to your husband ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her or keep it to myself?
Q. Another Best Friends Wife Story... So my best friend got married to a wonderful girl about three years ago. She has been a very good friend of mine as well. I have been attracted to her throughout their relationship but very easily kept thin...
A. 13 October 2009: You know what you have to do, you said it yourself.
Him cheating on her is their business, you have nothing to gain from telling. Maybe she already knows and has decided to forgive her husband (you can never be 100% sure what is said between ... (read in full...)
Am I just around to clean up his messes?
Q. About five years ago I met a guy, and we became close friends almost instantly. I've helped him through so many things and he always swore he'd never had a better friend than me. Cracks are starting to show in our friendship though, and he doesn't ...
A. 13 October 2009: It's simple...you like him more than he likes you. In order to stay close to him to have whatever attention he chooses to give, you are picking up and getting involved in his every waking move. Why would you care how he makes other girls feel? Why ... (read in full...)
I'm questioning whether I should marry him because he clearly does not want to have this baby with me
Q. I am 4 months pregnant and due to marry my fiance in December. I am in my middle 40's and really wanted another child but thought it wouldn't happen at my age but it did. My partner told me that his child rearing days are over and that he never ...
A. 13 October 2009: I think this is most definitely a 'wait and see' scenario. Your baby is going to be born and that is the most important thing here.
Your partner is wiggling on the hook over this but deep down he is probably acutely aware of his responsi... (read in full...)
Does he have any intentions of making a life with me or am I just a booty call?
Q. So let me start off with a little history. I met this guy right out of high school, we had this connection that was so strong its unexplainable and we hadnt even had sex, After about three months he got into some trouble and ended up in jail, I kept ...
A. 13 October 2009: I think you have to question this guys morals and motives. He isn't exactly man of the year is he. Going to jail and having sex with you whilst another woman was having his child. It's also funny how the word 'Love' can mask a whole bunch of bad ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself loving this man? He is a manipulative monster and a perv, I just want to stop loving him!
Q. My heart is broken, I have been with this "wonderful" man for three years now, a hairdresser, he has pampered me and took me away on breaks, i have been taken to all his family birthday meals etc. Last weekend, my birthday weekend, we were at his ...
A. 12 October 2009: You have my deepest sympathies. Finding out that someone has been leading you in a lie is absolutely devestating and sould estroying. There is nothing so vile as being made to feel a love fool and believe me the shame is all his.
I am sure you... (read in full...)
No presents from my children?
Q. Is it juat me or do other women never get a birthday present or a christmas present. Over the years it has always been me giving and giving. Lately I notice I give but do not get anything in return particularly from my children who are 17 and ...
A. 12 October 2009: I agree with what the other aunts and uncles have said. I think your kids are just being a bit self absorbed (it's a teen thing) Your their mother and you can take a few cheeky liberties. Drop a few hints and list a couple of things that you would ... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses early and run like the wind?
Q. I am very recently married to a man who has a number of children by different women. These children and their mothers cause constant friction and trouble between us, there is always some drama and he is constantly called away to hospitals, police ...
A. 12 October 2009: Im sorry but I am going to give you tough talk here.
You entered into marriage knowing this man had a number of children and that there were problems, you also married him knowing he did not want any more children and now, because he won't ch... (read in full...)
Should I wait it out with a player or move on?
Q. If you fell in love with a player geniunely and he gave up all of his chicks to be with you and you have been dating for almost 2 years and you told a lie about someone you said you had a phone conversation with and all you really did was ...
A. 11 October 2009: I think you have to assume he's moved on as he hasn't replied to your texts. Don't wait around driving yourself crazy over this. You can never know what he's thinking or doing and he sure isn't going to tell you. I know darling how hard it is to ... (read in full...)
Should I wait it out with a player or move on?
Q. If you fell in love with a player geniunely and he gave up all of his chicks to be with you and you have been dating for almost 2 years and you told a lie about someone you said you had a phone conversation with and all you really did was ...
A. 10 October 2009: If he has cheated so prolifically most of his adult life, he is most likely never going to change. A lot of men (and women) have one main person in their life but choose to always seek attention and affairs from others. To them it is an acceptable ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to give me oral sex more often
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for eleven months and i believe that i give him oral sex more than he does it to me what should i do to get him to do it to me more often...
A. 10 October 2009: Simple really...just ask him :-) xx... (read in full...)
After 2 negative pregnancy tests could I still be pregnant?
Q. Alright so on August 15th, I had unprotected sex, we didnt use the pull out method nor did he ejaculate in me (that either one of us are aware of), I had just come off my period at the time. I am now almost a month late on my period (it will be a ...
A. 10 October 2009: As long as you carried out the pregnancy tests correctly then I think two negatives gives you the answer. Going from the point of unprotected sex on 15th August, if you were pregant that would make you about 8 weeks and a hCG would easily be ... (read in full...)
I do not want to ruin my marriage for a ghost! Please Help!
Q. I have been happily married for 11 years, no kids :-( my husband is wonderful man and I could not have asked for more. He gives me everything I've ever wanted. I am a very conservative women and for the the past 11 years I have never ever thought ...
A. 10 October 2009: Wow the psychology behind why you would even WANT to meet this 'guy' is infathomable. You don't know him or anything about him, you've seen a couple pics that may or may not be him? You call him a liar and yet you crave him. He could be married or a ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy show a girl he likes her and then just disappear?
Q. college started for 3 wks, I haven't seen my crush for the whole summer and since schools started he's been showing more attention to me. He would stare at me try to keep eye contact and I felt him trying to be around me. When we are in the same...
A. 10 October 2009: Maybe he's shy and doesn't know how to approach you to get the outcome he wants. Men seriously fear rejection, much more so than women and if he's a young guy he may not have much experience. It can be very frustrating when you want someone to make ... (read in full...)
What are the chances she is pregnant?
Q. Alright, so my girlfriend and I last had sex 6 days ago.(We're both 14, by the way, but please don't answer my question like you're talking to a little kid who has to be told about abstinence)After I ejaculated into my condom, I took off the condom ...
A. 10 October 2009: I also want to add that whether your 14 or 40 or 60, irrelevant of age, if your not ready to become a father then it's really important to take maximum precautions everytime. That way you avoid being caught!... (read in full...)
What are the chances she is pregnant?
Q. Alright, so my girlfriend and I last had sex 6 days ago.(We're both 14, by the way, but please don't answer my question like you're talking to a little kid who has to be told about abstinence)After I ejaculated into my condom, I took off the condom ...
A. 10 October 2009: Previous answers are both very good but I have to say I work in obstetrics and studies have shown that teen preganacies are more likely to be caused by pre semen inseminations (mostly due to poor knowledge of birth control methods). It is also NOT ... (read in full...)
How much time does he need to know whether this relationship is the one
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a divorced mom who was marred over fifeen years. I did the on line dating, which was no fun until I met a wonderful older guy a couple of years ago and the relationship developed well. He introduced me to his family members ...
A. 8 October 2009: I don't think you can confront him. I think you can only act according to how you are feeling about the relationship. If you arn't getting the green light signals that you expect apart from him saying he wants you in his life forever (thats a pretty ... (read in full...)
So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 7 October 2009: You seem like a very caring and sensible young man who isn't afraid to step up to the plate. I hope you sort things out...you deserve a good outcome.
best wishes
Aunty Em x a.k.a Angie... (read in full...)
So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 6 October 2009: I think she still has feelings for you and thats why shes creating so much drama and guilt for you. She knows your a caring person to an extent and she is playing on it to gain attention. It's a sad thing and she probably is really hurt deep down, ... (read in full...)
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