A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him and another woman. I asked him what their relationship meant to him and although he promised to tell me, he kept refusing. He said he didnt want to hurt me. I have since found out that she is significantly younger than him and I. She is recently married. He told me he would ask her to stop so that she didnt get the wrong idea. Then i looked at his phone in secret, i know i should not have done but i felt lousy. I saw his texts to her begging her to contact him. I have now found out they stay in touch via instant messaging. This really hurts because i have no idea what is going on and no amount of asking him will get him to tell me. Should i just leave?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (18 March 2010):
 You really did the right thing and will be able to be in peace now as these things never go away they just fester in the background. Keep strong.
A
female
reader, desiree1  +, writes (18 March 2010):
i used to go through that but then he change and he never did it agin what im am sayin is you should talk to him and ask him why he do this to you and how he feel about you because u never no this man might love you even doe he cheated but yeah talk ask him and if you dont hear what u wanna hear on to the next!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CharmedNoodles +, writes (17 March 2010):
 I'm sorry you had to do that sweetheart,but look at it this way,he was holding you back in a way,and as one door closes,another opens,so go out there and live your life happy,and without someone doing things behind your back.Be free 3
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Good...Now get out there and live your life in peace xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, ElectricSheep +, writes (17 March 2010):
 We're all glad you did.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guessed you were all going to say that. I just broke up with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, CharmedNoodles +, writes (16 March 2010):
Well,It's a good thing you checked his phone and you found out all those things when you did,I say leave him,he is being unfaithfull to you,and you are giving him you all I presume.He keeps putting off and refusing to tell you why he keeps in contact wth her and to me it seems like he is cheating,It would also seem she is more than just a "friend" I say you either tell him if he keeps in contact with her,you'll leave him,or......leave him and when he asks why,tell him go ask his girlfriend.If you do indeed like this answer and would like to get in contact with me and would like more advise please see to contact me.
...............................
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (16 March 2010):
Yes leave. This man shows you absolutely no respect and is carrying on chatting with this woman behind your back. It is not acceptable and not right. Something similar is happening with me at the moment and I do not have words to say how much I hate it and how much it upsets me and tears me apart. Get out now.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 March 2010):
Leave. I have nothing else to say but that.
...............................
A
female
reader, ElectricSheep +, writes (16 March 2010):
You don't deserve this man, you deserve someone greater. If he's unwilling to stop ruining your relationship, and this other girl's marriage, then he's an almighty jerk.
You're entitled to someone far much better than this guy. Even after you've confronted him about this, he seems unwilling to change the situation.
I say leave him.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (16 March 2010):
I hate to be so negative but you have asked him to stop and he has done the exact opposite. He's never going to find happiness with her because shes married and its a whole can of worms but you need to ask yourself what you want, what is going to make your life better and what is going to make you happy.
Nobody should have to put up with being treated so deceitfully, so maybe it is time to go your own way. Put yourself first because he's not going to.
Hugs to you
Aunty Em xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Yes. Why would you subject yourself to this kind of pain when its apparent he still has feelings for her and has never put you first. Leave, and the sooner the better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): sit him down and dont let him go anywhere until he gives you an answer to why hes texting this other woman. if he still refuses to tell you what is going on i would get up and leave him, because if he loved you he should atleast be honest. or just say to him that if all this messaging this other woman dont stop, tell him you will leave him. the best thing to do is follow your heart, if in your heart you feel like leaving him (although it hurts) then get up and leave him, you obviously deserve better as he shouldnt be messaging another woman, it could be that they are just mates and it could be innocent but if he refuses to tell you i get the guess that maybe it could be something more, if i was in your shoes, i would talk to him first and if i didnt get the answers i needed and if i knew in my heart he was up to something i would get up and leave him, but thats my opinion, i hope this helps. good luck
...............................
|
