A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met this guy via the local community (he is a community beat policeman) when I was having some problems and he asked me out for a drink so I went. He seems quite nice in some ways if a little 'weak'. However apparently he has quite a temper and was therefore removed from certain duties by his boss so he stays in the community office and works 9-5 etc .. Anyway we went on a date and we were chit chatting about sixth form and A levels cos we both have kids about to start AS levels and I made a comment about the new systems for students that are being discussed (I was at a parent teacher evening recently and it was all being discussed there) and the comment I made was perfectly normal and reasonable and he suddenly said 'you do talk SHIT sometimes you know' so I was a bit put out then he started hovering around saying 'sorry' and being ultra nice. Then, the other night he came round and I've noticed he only brings films he wants to watch, often old weird ones about murder and horror etc etc .. not mainstream ones. We were sitting on the sofa and he said to me 'I am only doing this because I am bored' and then he said 'I am NOT prepared to give up my ex/leave for good' - I was shocked cos I thought this was quite a brutal thing to say. He was with his ex for years (before that he was married but it was a disaster by all accounts) and apparently he and his ex still have some connectinos with each other. One of my friends thinks he sounds a bit of an 'odd guy' .. does anyone have any helpful comments they could give?? Surely this is not normal behaviour with someone you've been dating for just a few weeks?? He also commented to me that he would like me to lose some weight (I am about a size 16 and I am told I look good, good but curvy if you see what I mean) and I am trying to lose a bit of weight but I'm quite tall and I really look after myself in all ways, am clean, swim every week, keep my hair and skin nice etc .. He is about ten years older than me at 52 but he acts like he is a young man it seems! He can be very funny and sweet and generous also .. is it just that he's not into me?? Or is he is a potential abuser who would be like this with anyone? He said he really loved his ex wife before this latest GF but they had terrible arguments including him calling her names too but he blames this on her for being 'mad' and for being 'moody' and he jokingly says 'she was as mad as a box of frogs' but then he says this about his OTHER ex too that she was 'seriously mental ill' (not clinically but just because they disagreed) surely all his exesa can't be mad??? Also there is a woman at work whom her refers to as a 'stupid bitch' for giving him work to do!! Recently he had to do an extra work shift and was complaining that the police had 'shafted' him (he likes his 9-5 comforts for which he is well paid due to length of service and apparently his ex wife called him a 'lazy policeman' (as opposed to a proper team policeman etc). Also he has problems with sexual dysfunction which he blames on his exes too. Any comments would be very much appreciated. Am I overreacting or he is a bit odd?? Thanks so much.
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at work, ex-wife, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (13 March 2010):
It sounds like he has serious issues. I agree with everyone on the other post.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 March 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-overreacting-or-is-he-a-bit.html
I think this question has already been asked and answered by several people.
Hope the link helps you find the answers people were good enough to leave.
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