I've lost trust due to his texting other women yet he's talking about marriage. He's barely speaking to me, how do I sort this?
Q. Hi I've been with my partner now for nearly 4 years we have had trust issues down to him texting other women he has asked me about getting married I tried to explain to him that I need to be able to trust him 100 percent before I think about ...
A. 28 March 2017: You can't do anything sweetie. He broke your trust and now he needs to earn it back. Talking about marriage is not going to give you the reassurance that you need and neither is rushing in to marriage. Have you both spoke about why he felt the need ... (read in full...)
I feel it's okay to say no to babysitting my husband's sister's children!
Q. My husband and I are both 26 and have been married for half a year. His sister is 10 years older and married with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I'm neutral to kids but my husband absolutely adores them. However neither of us are interested in ...
A. 28 March 2017: I would love to know what the outcome off this was?... (read in full...)
Miscarried and I'm not over it
Q. Hi all I'm a 20 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We're currently saving for a house. He is in a full time job while I've been drifting from job to job (whilst looking for a full time serious job). I have been ...
A. 27 March 2017: Off course it is normal, and yes you want a child now as your body got prepared last time to have a child. I understand why you want a child. I can also understand why your partner wants to wait and save money and build for the future. You are still ... (read in full...)
Without heat, hot water or a carer - please advise
Q. I have a difficult situation. I have been without heat or hot water in my flat for a week. There have been workmen doing some work on the pipes outside on my street. They are supposed to be doing some work in the garden next door. Until that is ...
A. 27 March 2017: Why not go to your local swimming pool they should have facilities to wash? Luckily it's not winter so hopefully your flat is not to cold. If you are entitled to a career then why do you not have one in that case? I agree with the others go to ... (read in full...)
Should I stop flirting and just see if he makes a move? Do guys always flirt back if they're into you?
Q. I met a guy and didn't talk to him for long, but was teasing him cos i thought he was cute., but he didn't tease or flirt back. We sat at the bar together and were swinging on the stools slightly so our legs touched. We made eye contact across the ...
A. 27 March 2017: Some guys are rubbish at flirting and sometimes can not pick up the signs either. Just be friendly when you see him next and see what happens.... (read in full...)
He won't let go of me!
Q. I've been in an emotionally draining relationship for the past 2 years. I say 'emotionally draining' because whenever we did fight, I always left my ego aside and went back to apologize, sometimes when I wasn't even in the wrong!! Just because I was ...
A. 27 March 2017: Show your parents this post. Nobody has the right to emotionally black mail you. Tell him it is over and stick to it. Block him so he cannot contact you and end it once and for all. Why spend your life in an unhappy relationship? Yes involving ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of me!
Q. I've been in an emotionally draining relationship for the past 2 years. I say 'emotionally draining' because whenever we did fight, I always left my ego aside and went back to apologize, sometimes when I wasn't even in the wrong!! Just because I was ...
A. 27 March 2017: Show your parents this post. Nobody has the right to emotionally black mail you. Tell him it is over and stick to it. Block him so he cannot contact you and end it once and for all. Why spend your life in an unhappy relationship? Yes involving ... (read in full...)
Is this depression?
Q. Hello everyone I have been very anxious lately and just plain on edge - for the last six months one of my family members has been ill and I have been the sole support temporarily - although I am an adult this is the first time I have had to step...
A. 27 March 2017: Your life changed a lot very suddenly. It sounds like this might have brought on your anxiety. Even though you are an adult it seems you where never responsible for anything until now and it has brought on anxiety. I don't think pills are the ... (read in full...)
She gives me false hopes and is still chatting with her ex! Advice?
Q. Hello DearCupid readers, I am 30. two and a half months ago I got in contact with a woman, who is 24 and she has a 2 year old daughter. We first talked online and then started seeing each other offline, since we're both in the same city. In...
A. 27 March 2017: She is using you. She still loves her ex. She is enjoying the attention she gets from you, but she is not wanting to take things to the next level because she knows then it will be completely over between her and her ex. She is chatting to you about ... (read in full...)
Dating advice after divorce
Q. My ex husband and I were high school sweethearts, I was only 16 when we started dating. I never dated anyone besides him. We recently parted and I'm nervous about dating. What type of rules go with dating now? I've been chatting with a guy from our ...
A. 27 March 2017: Don't have sex with him until you are comfortable around him. Every woman who has had children has stretch marks, a lot of people have scars. But generally for me sex is with someone who you care about and scars and stretch marks shouldn't come in ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get married without a proposal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your help. I'm 40 and my boyfriend of 2 months is 44. We both have a kid from our previous marriage. He is a professor and I'm a nurse. I know it's too soon but things are going so well and fast! He is ...
A. 27 March 2017: Honestly I think you should slow things down, only because a marriage is for life and you should go in to it with your eyes wide open, its only been two months, so wait until this time next year and see how you both feel and then you can start ... (read in full...)
He has cancer and I don't want him to think I'm feeling sorry for him!
Q. I have just reconnected with an old friend i didnt know him for long before and we are getting to know each other better now. He is a very open guy . He asked me on a date but also 'warned' me hes got cancer again throat cancer this time , its the ...
A. 27 March 2017: Off course you are going to feel sorry for him, that is only natural. Just try and be yourself as much as you can. I don't really have much advice for you, only to remain strong and act how you would with anyone. Don't ignore the fact that he has ... (read in full...)
He never comments on facebook but refers to facebook in real life
Q. My apologies for a really silly question to do with facebook (I know life is too short but it intrigues me) and I am old school (in my 40s). If a guy you are friendly with on facebook never comments on your statuses but comments on others that y...
A. 23 March 2017: Maybe he doesn't feel the need to comment on your posts. I do think you are over thinking this. ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or just want sex?
Q. Just when I'd totally shut my self off from dating then the world gave me this guy. I have known him since 2012 but I always ignored him and blocked his calls. Recently I haven't been going out much and he suddenly contacted me. I decided to hang ...
A. 23 March 2017: He only wants sex. You are the one that got away and he is desperate to get you in to bed. You blackmailed him in to hanging out with you which is cruel. ... (read in full...)
Why is he hiding these pictures from me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years. We go to different colleges about 2 hours apart so the majority of our relationship has been distance, but we still see each other pretty frequently. He is an amazing guy and has proved to be ...
A. 23 March 2017: My guess is so that you don't start asking questions. If the photos are innocent then I doubt he has done anything wrong, but my guess is he doesn't want you to see pictures off him with other girls in case you are insecure? Are you the jealous ... (read in full...)
How easy is it for some men to cheat?
Q. How easy it is for some men to cheat? Do you think my man cheated on me based on this: *He's had sex with approx. 30 girls that I know about... *They are all types of faces and bodies and most of them he says he considers them ugly. (Ma...
A. 23 March 2017: What a great therapist you have their. Obviously not very professional or doing their jobs right. I hate how all man haters come out in these posts. Never judge everyone the same.
Look I don't know if your boyfriend has cheated. I read your othe... (read in full...)
Wedding plans. What can I say to my sister and yet not upset her?
Q. I am getting married in September and have chosen my bridal party. My sister is supposed to be a bridesmaid in my bridal party. We had a falling out after I had asked her and she had said she no longer wanted to be a part of the wedding. The re...
A. 23 March 2017: Okay your sister is an adult and she can date whomever she likes. So you and your family really need to accept that. She is capable off making her own decisions even if you feel they are the wrong ones.
Now on to your wedding. I get why you don'... (read in full...)
I think my best friend is trying to be me. I cannot handle her behaviour any more. What can I do?
Q. I'm on a very difficult situation lately. I've known my best friend for 7 years and we've been through ups and downs but this time, I had enough. A few days ago, I was thinking about my friendship with my (best friend) and I've realized that I'v...
A. 23 March 2017: Have you spoke to your mum about this? I mean yes I feel sorry for the girl she obviously has low self esteem and is lonely. She also admires you very much. However it doesn't sound like you want to be friends with her any more. Therefore speak to ... (read in full...)
What do you think about guys who body shame women?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. He was the type to cancel on a date on me and get angry for small things or worse, make the topics that don't concern him, his own problems. He never wanted to take me out. After breaking up with him...
A. 23 March 2017: Maybe he struggles to put on weight so he takes his anger out on you? Sounds like he is insecure. You had a lucky escape ending it. He sounds very cruel.... (read in full...)
Is there any way we could have forced him into rehab with no money to pay for it?
Q. The problem I have is not a romance problem, it is a family problem. My brother is an alcoholic and he is spiraling out of control. He has had two DUIs and he can't keep a job. This week we found out that he had lost his job after being there for ...
A. 23 March 2017: You cannot force anybody in to rehab no matter what country you are in. If he is not willing to help himself then their really is nothing you can do. I know that sounds cold and heartless but the only person who can help him is himself. He needs to ... (read in full...)
Is he just being a generous best friend, who loves my company? Or is he in love with me?
Q. Good morning Aunties, I have a mighty problem I need help with. I am a bisexual man, 33 years of age. I am attracted to this 19 year old guy. He says he doesn't love me as a lover but as a friend. He says he is Christian and that his parent woul...
A. 22 March 2017: How are you getting on now?... (read in full...)
Were they trying to get my attention by revving their car?
Q. The other day I was in a world of my own stop outside of a shop and a guy I know and his mate were parked nearby me. I knew they would be near by as the guy I know normally says hi etc. This time I didn't see them coming even though I was facing ...
A. 22 March 2017: Totally agree, for your age it would seem a very immature thing to do, someone who is young yes it is something they would do to get attention.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my mom being controlling and restrictive?(I'm 19, won't be 20 till september)
Q. Okay, I have a feeling this is going to be long but I'll just try to explain everything as best I can.Starting from a young age, I'd say about as young as nine, I sometimes felt as though I was a burden to my mom based on the way she'd get mad and ...
A. 22 March 2017: Anonymous 123 got it spot on, I couldn't have said it any better myself. Stop thinking about how hard your life is and try and picture how hard it is for her when her only daughter wants to leave her alone homeless. I understand why things make you ... (read in full...)
I don't appreciate so much mystery,I feel he is hiding things and something fishy is going on,what is your honest advice?
Q. Ok, so I happen to be in a relationship for almost 2 years, with my bf who is in his mid to late thirtys, and honestly I have come to the conclusion that he is somehow mysterious, I mean I get that he is discrete, but it just comes off as mysteriou...
A. 22 March 2017: I don't see the big deal about social media. I don't see the big deal about no photos. But I do find it strange that your own friends don't know he is your boyfriend. Why not tell them? Why not introduce them?... (read in full...)
How do I get her to want sex more?
Q. I am in a relationship with a sag woman, I'm a virgo. We have been together for 7 months and about 2 months ago we had sex for the first time. We both seemed to enjoy it and I was able to make her orgasm ( better then last lovers according to her) ...
A. 22 March 2017: I think you need communication more so than actually trying to seduce her. A relationship should not be that difficult. You need to speak to her about the intimacy. ... (read in full...)
Was he right to say I need "more education?"
Q. Hi.. I've been with my bf for about 7 months. He has a degree in classics, privately educated, where as I have A levels and I quit a dead end job because of depression and couldn't handle it. I still am intelligent and we have deep conversatio...
A. 22 March 2017: As you have said yourself you will make your own choices about your own education. I do get why his comments upset you, I do also think he had a case of foot in mouth. He probably didn't mean for it to come out the way he did. If everything else in ... (read in full...)
Spectre of my wife's past has come back to haunt us
Q. 2-3 weeks before I met my wife she did a professional porn video in which she says she was actually coming from another man's house where she had had sex with him. Along with that she revealed other things that she never told me and that she has ...
A. 22 March 2017: I can get why you feel the way that you do. I think it would benefit you both to speak to a therapist before you are deported. I honestly don't think you should leave before getting an appointment and talking it through because these feelings will ... (read in full...)
Why can't she see he is not a good person? Do I just leave her to get on with things? Since she is not listening
Q. Hello. My good close friend who is 27 has had a rough few years. Her Mother passed away, the Father of her 2 kids left her (he still regularly sees the children) She has begun having a relationship (now 10 months and I have met him once) with someo...
A. 22 March 2017: You know what their really is not much you can do in this situation. It may baffle you but she is capable off making her own decisions and my guess is she wants to be with him so let her. If she is not being a great friend to you then break contact ... (read in full...)
I feel so confused, wanting my stepfather to be happy, and not lonely. But is also reminds that my mother died. How can I adjust to this change?
Q. Hi everyone, my mum passed away almost 3 years go. She was taken from us very very quickly with cancer. We had under 12 hours notice that she had terminal cancer before she died. It has been a very hard few years since, dealing with the grief o...
A. 22 March 2017: Off course this is going to be difficult. You do learn to adjust to life without a loved one and then something else happens and you realize all over again that the world is changing without them. It is very bittersweet for you as you are still ... (read in full...)
Is this normal? I have never been so happy about ending a relationship.
Q. Hello. I have a very short question for those who have enough knowledge about star signs(if you don't you may google info). Short story: I am a capricorn female (21) my boyfriend (now ex) is a Pisces (23). Our relationship was full of drama bu...
A. 22 March 2017: You are happy because he was not giving you what you needed from a relationship. You both grew apart, it happens.... (read in full...)
What do we have together? I feel like I'm a side chick, the one who makes him happy, whenever he wants
Q. I have been seeing this guy for maybe three weeks or so and he use to frequently text me a lot throughout the day, even during his work hours! He added me on facebook, snapchat and got my number and we use to talk on there a lot. He used to wis...
A. 22 March 2017: If you are feeling like this already after three weeks then yes I think you should end things. The distance is not going to work for you both if you are far apart and it is clear he cannot give you what you need via phone calls and messages so I ... (read in full...)
The guy is turning into an alcoholic. Should I keep it to myself that I'm pregnant, and raise the baby without him?
Q. I don't know what I want to do at this point. I think I may be pregnant with the guy I'm currently seeing. I feel like he's going on a downward spiral at the moment. He had a weekend out with the boys and he got really drunk and now he is gettin...
A. 22 March 2017: If his drinking is concerning you then leave him. But you do need to tell him if you are pregnant, as that would be cruel not hide a child from him, it would also not be fair to a child.
I think you may be over reacting, you are not even sure if y... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence
Q. I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...
A. 16 March 2017: Do you see each other in person a lot? Or is this relationship mainly based over the phone?... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much of my wife? I desire to make love to my wife, but she says it stresses her out when I initiate
Q. I have been married for over 21 years. The last three years have been quite challenging as my wife, who is 3 year older than me, is going through menopause and hormonal changes. I am empathetic and offer my support and encouragement as she goes thr...
A. 16 March 2017: I don't think you are asking for to much at all. I can see both sides off the story and off course it is frustrating when she will not open up to you so you could at least try and understand. I think you should seek therapy. I know it might sound ... (read in full...)
She saved pictures of one of my friends. What should I do? Why would she do this?
Q. Hello, My girlfriend and I been together for 8years. But I recently found pictures of my female friend on her iPad. So my girlfriend went on my female friend's Facebook page and saved like 10 pictures of her. What should I do?...
A. 16 March 2017: You should speak to her and ask her why.... (read in full...)
My ex refuses to acknowledge that porn played a part in our breakup
Q. Hi there, I recently had suspicions that my partner of 8 years may be suffering porn related ed. he was being secretive, defensive and only capable of having sex when he could act out his fantasies(which he didn't share with me). No intimacy...
A. 16 March 2017: Yeah leave your ex alone and let him think what he wants to think. The relationship is now over and he is free to do as he pleases as are you. Drop all contact and start getting over him.... (read in full...)
My very ill father living in bad conditions but refuses our help
Q. I feel like I have nowhere else to get advice on this one. My mom passed on in 2015 survived by 8 kids So far and our dad. Since then, our family has fallen apart. Firstly, my dad is ill with prostate cancer and despite two operations now, he is no...
A. 16 March 2017: honestly he shouldn't have to fake good health so you don't visit, you should visit anyway. I understand you have your own life but your father sounds like he doesn't have much time left so you should use this precious time to make sure he is ... (read in full...)
Why cry? Was she feeling guilty? My LDR is currently studying overseas. She has started a new friendship there but promised me that they would not have full sex
Q. Hello guys, My gf is studying abroad currently in a relationship with someone else, we were arguing cause i was asking how far their relationship is. The sex) She promised she wont have sex with her current BF but then when i asked if she did to h...
A. 16 March 2017: Time to end things completely stop allowing her to guilt trip you and end all contact. Move on with your life and never allow someone to treat you like a doormat.... (read in full...)
Should I quit since my boss quit, or stick it out with my co-workers?
Q. Hi.. So I've been feeling really depressed since my boss quit his position at our company.. I'll just fill you guys in real quick.. I've been sexually attracted to my GM since I first met him in our interview, and I was never able to shake off tho...
A. 16 March 2017: Is he married?... (read in full...)
We still like each other but I don't know how to make a move
Q. I fell for a guy at a walking group a few years ago. There was a mutual attraction but people in the walking group did everything they could to make sure we did not date. At the time I thought these people were friends and were trying to protect me. ...
A. 16 March 2017: You know you will make a great couple but you simply cannot speak to him? Really? Honestly what is holding you back? Contact him and ask him out for a coffee, or if you are nervous a drink.... (read in full...)
Husband found out about my promiscuous teen years
Q. I've been married 3 years and my husband and I have a great relationship based on trust on we don't keep secrets. I was recently contacted on Facebook by Erica, a high school friend. When we were in school, we were promiscuous. We did girl on g...
A. 16 March 2017: you both should go to a counselor and talk about this openly, don't let it get to a stage where it is passed communicating with each other. ... (read in full...)
Is he just being a generous best friend, who loves my company? Or is he in love with me?
Q. Good morning Aunties, I have a mighty problem I need help with. I am a bisexual man, 33 years of age. I am attracted to this 19 year old guy. He says he doesn't love me as a lover but as a friend. He says he is Christian and that his parent woul...
A. 24 February 2017: You keep coming back here, and keep getting great advice, but it seems you don't listen to it, you just re-post the question, but you leave bits out that you think will get you the same responses again, and you add more in his favor in hope that ... (read in full...)
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