A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just when I'd totally shut my self off from dating then the world gave me this guy.I have known him since 2012 but I always ignored him and blocked his calls. Recently I haven't been going out much and he suddenly contacted me. I decided to hang out with him. I have always known he wanted something more than friends with me but I didn't care. I just wanted him to literally say it and I cut him off. The first day we hung out at night, I knew he was going to ask me to his house and he didn't disappoint my intuition. Immediately, I refused and he persuaded me so much but I stood my ground.He acted weird but calmed down later. I was done at this point. All the guys I've ever met in my life all want sex from me without even knowing me properly. Few weeks after we got talking again and he invited me out. I had him do a favour for me and said I would only hang out with him if he did the favour. He ended up doing it and I agreed to hangout as payment of a debt.I made it clear to him that I wasn't going to have sex with him and he agreed.He said he is not after sex. we got to his house and he started touching me incessantly. He even had a condom but I kept my ground.Two days after he said he is sure I love him because I didn't have sex with him on the first day. I didn't even know what I felt for him when he was uttering this gibberish. He really took care of me and I felt he is the kind of guy I want to be with.For the first time in all of my life, I felt like having sex with this guy and I was sure I wouldn't regret it. Could he be the one? I have never felt secure with any guy in my life but I did with him. My perception of him totally changed. We didn't have sex at all but kissed. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I refused and told him he didn't know me well enough to ask that. I felt he asked that to get me to have sex. He agreed and said he was nervous because he loves me. Even though we have known for 5 years, I never gave him any chance to like anything about me. He is probably delusional.I am in a state where I need help. Could this be the reason why I am shuffling a guy from my past? If I was the way I was 5 years ago presently, I don't think I will ever give him a chance. I haven't seen his bad sides and I am already liking him. Could desperation have clouded my filtering process for me to give him a chance? I asked him a lot of questions about us and I don't know if he has my best interest or sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@male anon. Yes I am a virgin and I have had just one LTR. i need financial help but I don't think he has any to offer me. I am just needy.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 March 2017):
 He only wants sex. You are the one that got away and he is desperate to get you in to bed. You blackmailed him in to hanging out with you which is cruel.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2017): The guy sounds a bit pushy but to be honest you sound kind of cold and disconnected.
It would probably help us answer us if you gave us more history. Are you a virgin? Have you had any LTRs?
"I am in a state where I need help" really struck me. Unless you just need financial help, I would seek professional help and not try to cure yourself with a guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2017): This guy is pushing this relationship WAY TOO FAST!!!! That is a red flag. He is either obsessed with you or sick. Both are not good options. Someone who jumps to I love you so fast most likely makes other decisions too quickly. Or falls in and out of love at a drop of a hat.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 March 2017):
 So basically HE is still the same guy you turned down 5 years ago.
He is STILL looking to "bang" you.
And honestly, he probably "hit on" all the pretty customers who's accounts he handled.
If I were you I'd pass up this guy and WORK on the issues you seem to have regarding relationships. At 22-25 you should give up on dating. How will that improve your life? Instead, figure out what is IT you want and try and figure out HOW to get it. Not go back to a guy who was a dud in the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ honiepie, I ignored him because he worked with my bank and was crossing the professional line by being flirty with me. Besides, I had no interest in him.the same favour he did 5 years later was what made me block him 5 years earlier. I knew he wanted something, a relationship or sex from me but I wasn't willing to know. I told him the only condition that would make me answer him was to carry out this favour which was very crucial to me. He never offended me in anyway. I just didn't understand why a banker that handles my account sometimes was flirting with a customer.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 Guy is creepy and unsavoury... He's basically a sex pest that isn't taking no for an answer- that you BLOCKED. Alarm bells?? If you're turned on by that kind of sleazy behaviour then use protection because he likely has some type of STI.Like honeypie said you cant love someone after not seeing/ speaking to them for five years! ITS BS. No he doesn't love you.He isn't valuing your feelings or wishes- he had a condom ready. He sounds like he probably has obsessive tendencies.YES I do think your judgement is clouded by the fact you fancy him and that you see his weird behaviour as him being some sort of enigma.The pure fact is its lust. Not love. I think when it wears off for him he'll be thinking with his little head again onto the next hot thing. He isn't respecting you and think this could become pretty sticky for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 March 2017):
OP, I have to ask... WHY did you ignore him and have him blocked since 2012?
It makes no sense to me that ALL of a sudden you no longer feel a need to ignore and block THIS one guy.
IF you spend 5 years IGNORING HIM how come he loves you?
It all sounds off to me.
If I was ignoring and had a guy blocked he would NEVER end up in the "why not date him" menu. EVER. Becuase THERE would be a good reason as to WHY he was ignored and blocked.
And no, I don't think he loves you - he might have had a crush on you, he might see you as a HUGE challenge and I don't think YOU love him either. I think it's partly you throwing caution to the wind (for whatever reason), you playing games (making him do you favors to prove what?!) and maybe YOU trying to stick to your own standard, but not completely.
IF you HAVE doubts, spend more time going on dates in PUBLIC. Get to know this guy and let him get to know you.
You say ALL guys you have met tried to get you in bed for sex. Well SO did this one!! You had to "stand your ground" as you call it. Seriously? You told him there would be no sex if you went home with him and he STILL tried, even had condoms ready....
I think you need to figure out a few things. 1. The issue you have with men. 2. What you REALLY want in a partner.
There is no way to say that he likes you or JUST wants sex. Surely he wants sex- he already tried twice according to your post. Does he want more? Who knows?
I just don't get how a guy you felt strongly enough about to BLOCK his calls and IGNORE him is now suitable. Makes no sense.
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