When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 13 April 2017: I think you need to do more than back off I think you need to end things for good and stop allowing him to think it is okay to treat you like this. He really is messing with your head, and giving you false hope. ... (read in full...)
I want to confront this guy. Should I do this? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie?
Q. I have been with my wife approaching 14 years now and married for three. Four years ago my wife confessed to me that she had kissed another man that delivers to her work. She said she felt terrible about it immediately after, she quit her job and...
A. 11 April 2017: It won't do you any good. You need to let this go and move on with your life. I highly doubt that what your wife told you is 100% the truth. She probably likes the attention she gets when you are jealous. Was your wife honest to him? Did she tell ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was OK. But ? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
Q. I've recently moved house after breaking up with my ex boyfriend. I thought it was perfect, lovely little house well within my means and close to the town centre of where I live. I moved in and found that I was living next to a recently div...
A. 11 April 2017: It was a bad idea to start sleeping with the guy next door, no good would have ever came from that. Then going over to him to ask him to keep it down well that would have made him feel that you still had feelings, so he has turned it up just to ... (read in full...)
Does my brother's friend likes me? 2
Q. That day,my brother was messaging to his friend. Suddenly he said playfully that he wants me and his friend to date.Its very rare for my brother to say such thing.Did his friend said anything about me?Once,I gifted shoes for my brother and his frie...
A. 11 April 2017: You should find men who you want to date and stay away from your brothers friends. Maybe your brother may have passed some comments, my guess is he probably passed some comments to his friend as well. My guess is the friend is not interested in you ... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 11 April 2017: It looks to me like you want a relationship with him but he is looking for something more casual. If I where you I would ask him straight out and see what he has to say. Tell him you want exclusivity and that you realize this even more because their ... (read in full...)
30 year age difference and she's starting to talk about having kids. I do not want to lose her but just can't go back to raising another family
Q. I am a single 54 year old man who has been dating a 24 year old woman now for the last 5 years. I was 49 and she was 19 when we met. It started as friends with benefits but now I am afraid she has gotten closer and started to say I love you. W...
A. 11 April 2017: I think you need to let her go. She is just beginning her adult life and wants a future with children. You have already done this. So the kindest thing to do is allow her to find someone who can give her all she wants. It does worry me why a 49 year ... (read in full...)
How to love my husband like I used to?
Q. I'm 22 married and I need help. I recently had our first baby 5 weeks ago. Me and my husband were always best Friends never fought that much and always cared about each others feelings . Lately with tour new baby we are tired and can be snappy at ...
A. 10 April 2017: I think you are wanting a life like a fairytale and am afraid to burst your bubble but it ain't like that. What have you done to make these events special for him? Instead of moaning about a plain kebab and crying in to your pillow did you try and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend texted his ex and said he missed her
Q. Hi all, I think I've got a messy situation on my hands... I love my boyfriend very much. We've been together for half a year and he had only just broken up with his ex when we got together. He was with her for 3 years. Normally I wouldn't be ...
A. 10 April 2017: You do not say to a friend I miss you an awful lot. That is something you would say to an ex only if you still thought about them and missed them. I would never disrespect my partner by doing this and if he done this to me I would be very upset. ... (read in full...)
He wants to take me as his second wife but my mother doesn't approve
Q. my name is mathapelo and im inlove with a married man and now he wants take me as a second wife and he has proofed himself to me he cant live without me in his lfe but my mom doesnt approves what do i do because i we really love each other pls help...
A. 10 April 2017: Do you feel you could handle being his second wife? Have you spoke to his first wife and asked her how she feels, have you got to know her and are you happy sharing him with her? ... (read in full...)
He still ignores me but I love him! Advice?
Q. Actually I had a boyfriend with whom I broke up 10months ago.the reason for our breakup is he ignores me. He is not behaving as we are before the relationship. He was not at all bothered about my feelings and more over his girl best friend told him ...
A. 10 April 2017: You can and you should leave him. He is using you to make the other girl jealous, he does not love you. Show him that you deserve to be treated better, show him and any other guy that you are worthy of someone who will treat you like you deserve to ... (read in full...)
Should I push for the both of us making more of an effort in our relationship? Or should I accept that this is the way things are now.?
Q. I am currently in an almost 2 year relationship with my boyfriend and don't get me wrong I am very happy. Although, recently I can't stop thinking about the times before we got together, the sort of 'getting to know each other phase' sounds stupid ...
A. 10 April 2017: Do you feel you get enough attention from this relationship? Do you both make enough time and effort for each other? Sometimes after a couple off years we let things slip and fall in to a routine. If you are not getting enough then you need to speak ... (read in full...)
Do I message him or leave him alone?
Q. ive been out of the dating game a while and i recently went on a date with a guy i met over a year ago he didnt seem his usual self . we arranged to meet again and he was going to let me know its been over a week he did say he hadnt been well it was ...
A. 10 April 2017: If it was me I would let it go, surely if their was much interest more would have happened a year ago?... (read in full...)
Should I try to help him understand his brother's psychological problems?
Q. So I have been seeing a guy since December and recently we got closer and I started to have strong feelings for him , he tells me he loves me despite I don't really feel he does, but I always say that people express it differently and I don't wanna ...
A. 10 April 2017: If it feels like the right thing to do then go for it. It might make him understand more, but it will also allow him to see that you have fought a battle along with many others and came out the other end. I don't see how any harm could come from ... (read in full...)
How can I stop him from needing my attention when I'm busy with friends, son or volunteer work?
Q. My partner and I have a fun filled life we have a boy of 10yrs , we do lots of things as a family and also as a couple however my partner works so I often fill my time with my friends or going out with my son which I get so much joy out off Yet 9 ...
A. 10 April 2017: You need to talk to him and be blunt with him. He knows rightly what he is doing and he is trying to play games with you. Seriously he has some deep issues here and either you both work on them or else you go seek professional help. He cannot treat ... (read in full...)
Do I gave up on her or give her a chance? She visited her ex and relegated me to the friend zone.
Q. First of all, sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker. So I was seeing this girl for some months (september to december) and we had such a great time together. It never got into a serious relationship. Probably I was not ready for that, ...
A. 10 April 2017: Well keep us updated. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants us to stays friends with the woman he cheated with!
Q. My husband cheated on me years ago. He hid it and never told me. When I found out he lied and said it was before we met and I should have asked him about her. But it wasn't. So he lied about his lie. He kept her as part of our friendship circle, but ...
A. 10 April 2017: Kick him out, contact your lawyer about adultery and take it from there. He has no right to cheat and lie never mind try and make you feel bad about it and to apologize to his mistress. Honestly it sounds like he cares more about her than you. Don't ... (read in full...)
Married man gave me his phone number!
Q. I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...
A. 10 April 2017: I think you are reading to much in to it. You asked could you interview him so he gave you his phone number. I honestly think he was being helpful. If you don't wish to call or text then tell him you would rather just talk through social media but ... (read in full...)
I caught my partner in a lie. Now he's verbally abusive and constantly puts me down
Q. My partner is so different since I caught him out with a lie. We aren't young (both in our 40's) and there should be no grey areas within our relationship. He has lied to me several times about minor things, lied to at least 5 times about bigger ...
A. 10 April 2017: You need to start being stronger for your children, you are teaching your eight year old that it is okay for a man to treat a woman so badly. He will grow up seeing this and think it is okay. Also your own son won't visit you because off this man ... (read in full...)
My friend is controlling and copies everything I do. Is it kinder to end the friendship than to feel resentful of this?
Q. I have a female friend who is very controlling and the more I try to gain space and step back the worse it gets. I have tried really hard not to end the friendship as I know she is lonely but I am beginning to feel actually frightened by her ...
A. 10 April 2017: yip end the friendship. You don't need her in your life and it would probably be healthier for her to be asked to stay away from you. She admires you but she is coming on much to strong and it is really not fair on you. Sit down with her and tell ... (read in full...)
My Bf is annoying me with his alarm setting each day. How can I get him to stop this?
Q. my bf drives me crazy with his alarms in the morning - he sets them 40 minutes before i wake up for work on two different devices - each device goes off once every minute for forty minutes so 80 annoying alarms!!! i wake up in a bad mood as i have...
A. 10 April 2017: I like to snooze in the morning and set a few alarms, but 80 alarms is seriously OTT. Can he not have four alarms one every ten minutes?
If he is willing to change this habit then yes on his days off set alarms beside him the EXACT same or even an h... (read in full...)
What should I tell her? I don't want to meet all her family and friends just yet
Q. Girlfriend already wants me to meet all her family members (uncles, aunts, cousins, grand parents, etc)? We're dating for only 3 months and she wants me to drive 150 miles to a small town with her to meet the rest of her family. I don't want to go...
A. 10 April 2017: You:
Am sorry but am just not ready to meet all your family. It is still very new to me our relationship and it is a bit overwhelming for me travelling so far away and out off my comfort zone at the moment, do you mind if I wait until I am more comf... (read in full...)
My Gf attends functions with her friends by herself in order to avoid the risk of losing face. This concerns me. How should I handle this?
Q. I have a problem and I need some sound advice. I'm caucasian and my girlfriend is asian. We both get along great except for one big issue in our lives, and that revolves around how she worries about how some in her community may frown upon inte...
A. 10 April 2017: I wouldn't be with someone who was ashamed to be seen with me with family or friends because off my color or race. The bottom line is she knows deep down her family or close friends won't accept you and she is ashamed to bring you to these ... (read in full...)
How do we or I take this LDR relationship further? 2
Q. Warning: VERY LONG on LDR In October, last year, I met this wonderful guy (25/M) on OkCupid of all places. He is literally a diamond. We’ve texted each other every daWy since we exchanged numbers. We met in person in February this year and by our f...
A. 10 April 2017: Am really not sure what to say to your post. You have posted this before but not in so much detail. It sounds to me like you are not going to get any more than what he is offering at the moment. Yes he is telling you all the correct words and making ... (read in full...)
Coping strategies would be appreciated for bad office situation!
Q. Not a relationship problem but hoped you guys could give me a bit of advice. I work in a small company of just over 20 staff, most of us working in a large open plan office. One of the women, who is in her 30s, has taken to wearing short SH...
A. 7 April 2017: Is there anyone higher up than her line manager that you can talk to? Off course nobody wants to be seeing that at work! She is obviously looking for attention as am sure she is well aware if she is bent over her skirt will ride up. It could be the ... (read in full...)
Does this look like a green light?
Q. There is this man I have had feelings for the past six months. I know I am only infatuated with him, but I can't explain my feelings for him. They are strong and won't go away. I have a feeling he likes me, but I'm not exactly sure. If I post a ...
A. 7 April 2017: Yip he likes you!... (read in full...)
I prefer staying home to attending his family gatherings! Is this going to be a problem?
Q. Dear all, I am married to a wonderful guy and yet I've always been a bit of a loner. We always joke that we love being loners together. He comes from a large happy family and they meet every now and then for a huge meal. I have no issues with his ...
A. 7 April 2017: honestly I think you need to make an effort. It is okay to back out now and again, but twice in a row is going to make his family think there is something wrong. If you are eating healthy then surely you can have a day off where you can be a little ... (read in full...)
A co-worker gave me his number, is this romantic interest or just a friendly gesture?
Q. So this guy who works in different departments at my new job always make eye contact and we say hi to each other in the passing.Last time he came in on my floor I was working on ,in the kitchen looking for cup,we exchanged pleasantries then I went ...
A. 7 April 2017: Yeah it sounds like he likes you, interesting though because in your last post you said you wouldn't get involved as you work together and now in this post you say you like him. You need to make up your mind OP.... (read in full...)
Ovarian cyst ruining our sex life
Q. Hello. I've recently been to the doctors with a medical issue and am awaiting a scan to see if I have a cyst on my ovaries. My scan is in 5 weeks. Me and my boyfriend both have high sex drives except due to the potential cyst it's incredibly painful ...
A. 7 April 2017: Have to agree with the others, you can both still be intimate. ... (read in full...)
Is the breakup real this time?
Q. Is this a real break-up or a stalemate? I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a woman that I'm inexplicably just drawn to. I love her and I believe we have always had a mutual attraction. We've been content not getting married until ki...
A. 7 April 2017: Threatening the end off a relationship once a month is mayhem. It sounds so toxic that you are torturing yourself. I think you both need a break from each other, concentrate on yourself and your own mental health. Being knocked back so many times ... (read in full...)
His sister is so negative, how can we put a stop to this madness?
Q. i have been with my current boyfriend for 16 yrs. his sister calls from time to time and when she does she always dumps her problems on him, always negative for as long as i have known her, he gives her advise on how to better her life but she ...
A. 7 April 2017: Depends on what your boyfriend wants to do, it is his sister and therefore he is old enough to tell her to leave him alone or to stop blaming him for her problems, this is his problem to deal with not yours.
You say it is not fair on you so leav... (read in full...)
Are these sex dreams my libido trying to tell me something?
Q. For the last several months I've been having sexual dreams about people who I've never seen or met, probably not even real. I've told my wife about them because it usually has me being very slick in the way I talk these women into being with me. I'm ...
A. 7 April 2017: Everyone has dreams, one's where they probably don't want to share with their other half. Don't let it worry you that you are secretly wanting to be with another women, it is probably more than likely sexual tension. Try upping your libido by taking ... (read in full...)
Worried my husband doesn't think I'm attractive
Q. Am I wrong to be upset that I don't think my husband finds me physically attractive? I think he married me for reasons other than appearance like that we get on and that we have similar values, wanting a family and same financial goals etc. He often ...
A. 7 April 2017: Instead off asking him what he thinks about you, talk to him and tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you feel undesired and not as beautiful because he never compliments you and seems to compliment others. He may not even realize he is doing ... (read in full...)
Should I write another letter to my ex?
Q. We were together for 2 years. He was very special to me. He was my first everything. Our breakup happened in very complicated situation , i went through a miscarriage. I thought he was not giving me the support i needed . He thought i was very ...
A. 7 April 2017: No do not contact him again. He left you because he felt your life revolved around him, and you sending him this message is just showing him you are still thinking about him. You are not looking at this break up as permanent you are thinking he will ... (read in full...)
Should I stay? Am I ready to move on? Please help me
Q. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for about a year and three months, I can honestly say I am so in love with him it's hard because he is 5 hours away because he is in the navy. He is from where I live, since he came into my life he because so ...
A. 7 April 2017: If you are so beautiful and can get any other guy you want then go ahead and do that, but honestly if you are not going to trust a guy because he didn't contact you if he was out drinking or at a concert then believe me you are never going to be ... (read in full...)
I still think of my ex all the time. Does that suggest that I should break up with the new lady, who I am currently dating?
Q. Am seeing some one new, for the last couple months, so my question is, what does it mean when I say, ''I wish my ex would of treated me this good''. Does it mean I should break up with the new one? I still think of my ex all the time, over a year ...
A. 7 April 2017: I think it might benefit you to be single for a while. It is clear that you are not fully over the ex. Take some time to yourself and learn to deal with the fact that you and your ex are finished. If you are comparing your new girlfriend to your ex ... (read in full...)
He says he's not quite ready for a relationship. Am I over-thinking this situation?
Q. I've know a boy for 1 year and we were close talking everyday we could, he lives 6 hours away from me and is in the army, recently he's moved based and is less than 1 hour away from me. Whilst talking to him I slowly started falling in love, wh...
A. 7 April 2017: You don't need to be worried but you do need to accept that he doesn't want to be with you. I know at your age rejection is so hard and it seems like the world is falling apart but he has made his feelings clear and you need to listen to him and ... (read in full...)
Does he have an interest or is he just friendly polite guy?
Q. So this guy who works in different departments at my new job always make eye contact and we say hi to each other in the passing.Last time he came in on my floor I was working on ,in the kitchen looking for cup,we exchanged pleasantries then I went ...
A. 7 April 2017: It depends he may have been told you where the new girl and he wanted to make you feel comfortable and welcome.
He could also be interested in you, but for me it is to soon to say. ... (read in full...)
The person I like lives 4 hours away!
Q. So I met this guy on holiday. He's so sweet, funny, amazing and basically everything I ever dreamed of. I have his number and he has recently gone back home. I miss him already. He lives 4 hours away from me by car. Can long distance ever work? Has ...
A. 7 April 2017: Its hard at your age to keep a long distance relationship running. The thing is you are probably two young to drive and therefore how are you going to spend time together getting to know each other? Sure you could have an online relationship. ... (read in full...)
I want some good old attention from my husband!
Q. Is it wrong of me to want some good old fashioned sexual attention . My husband barely notices me . I dress up , get my hair and nails done regularly . Plan trips away . Yet all he is interested in is his girly sites online . I'm happy in my life ...
A. 7 April 2017: Have you spoke to him about how neglected you feel? Honestly he is your husband sit down with a cuppa and tell him honestly how you are feeling. Plan a sexy weekend away! ... (read in full...)
Are there any signs that he still loves me? I caught him cheating
Q. i recently broke with my ex. he was having an affair with another girl and when i asked he denied it. we broke up and he said he is not a suitable guy for me and my family. but we still do video calls and talk for the whole night. actually we talk ...
A. 7 April 2017: If he has cheated on you then end the relationship and stop video calling him. If their is a girl saying she is his girlfriend then why not contact her and see what she has to say. Honestly it sounds like he is a bit off a player.... (read in full...)
Want a new relationship but having children is out of the question am I wrong or not?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have been a single parent all of my children's life now they are fully grown I want a relationship but Im hoping that he doesn't want children that part of my life is history.Am I being selfish for this or not. Help...
A. 7 April 2017: Off course you are not being selfish, if you meet someone then just be honest with them, at your stage in life it probably goes without saying that you have raised your children and don't want to start over.... (read in full...)
How do I end things without hurting him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 45 year old woman married for 18 years . The marriage has been more of a business relation tand there has been no sex or romance...there were a lot of family issues....i never thought of a divorce since i had basically accepted...
A. 7 April 2017: I think you will hurt more than he does, you will feel more bitter because he is having a fulfilled relationship with someone else. Taking your affair out off the equation, why stay in a loveless marriage? Why agree to it in the first place? I think ... (read in full...)
Do I gave up on her or give her a chance? She visited her ex and relegated me to the friend zone.
Q. First of all, sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker. So I was seeing this girl for some months (september to december) and we had such a great time together. It never got into a serious relationship. Probably I was not ready for that, ...
A. 6 April 2017: Well then don't give up and I will no doubt speak to you on here again in the future when you are left hurt and confused. Because that is what will happen, she has choose to be with her ex. A kiss and holding hands sounds like a goodbye, so don't ... (read in full...)
Do I gave up on her or give her a chance? She visited her ex and relegated me to the friend zone.
Q. First of all, sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker. So I was seeing this girl for some months (september to december) and we had such a great time together. It never got into a serious relationship. Probably I was not ready for that, ...
A. 5 April 2017: What can you do? She has made her choice and she has choose her ex not you. The only thing that you can do is accept that and move on from her. Will it be hard? Yes it will. But you will get their.... (read in full...)
Do I gave up on her or give her a chance? She visited her ex and relegated me to the friend zone.
Q. First of all, sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker. So I was seeing this girl for some months (september to december) and we had such a great time together. It never got into a serious relationship. Probably I was not ready for that, ...
A. 14 March 2017: Any progress on your story? ... (read in full...)
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