Why does my live in partner of 10 yrs. not make any attempts to have sex?
Q. Why does my live in partner of 10 yrs. not make any attempts to have sex? I always have to initiate and then it's to pleasure him as he just lays there, maybe he touches my nipples, but that's it. He does not get ontop of me and have intercourse. ...
A. 13 July 2012: This guy's gross. Why are you even with him?
I'm guessing it's because you've been together for 10 years, and comfort zones are hard to break out of unless your frustration level exceeds the rut you're in.
So he jerks off all the time? Yep. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mention of my recent weight gain has lowered my self esteem. I need some advice!
Q. Recently a close family friend died and ive put on a little weight because of it. My boyfriend mention the other day that i had put on a few and when i asked him if it bothered him he swore it didnt but i think it bothers him even if he wont admit ...
A. 12 July 2012: He wouldn't have mentioned it if it didn't bother him. Personally, I think he's an insensitive jackass for doing that to you after you just had a tragedy, but you do realize that if being around him makes you feel bad about yourself, you can show ... (read in full...)
I take things too personally, and am afraid he my get tired of it and break up. Help!
Q. I am dating a guy of 16 for like 7months now but somehow i kinda of always screw things up.Am kinda too sensitive and take things too personally and he hates things but most times i can't help it.Now am scared that he may soon get tired of me and ...
A. 12 July 2012: There is a word for that:
High-maintenance.
No one likes someone who is oversensitive, touchy, and needing constant reassurance. It's exhausting and draining.
Instead of focusing on yourself so much, how are you showing HIM that you lov... (read in full...)
Why does my live in partner of 10 yrs. not make any attempts to have sex?
Q. Why does my live in partner of 10 yrs. not make any attempts to have sex? I always have to initiate and then it's to pleasure him as he just lays there, maybe he touches my nipples, but that's it. He does not get ontop of me and have intercourse. ...
A. 12 July 2012: I'd say that his problem isn't that he's passive aggressive. The problem is that he's selfish and lazy in bed.
When you give him pleasure, does he ask for it, or do you just give it to him? If he's asking for it, tell him that you're first, a... (read in full...)
When can we become physically intimate?
Q. So I'm just curious as of what guys/girls think. At what point in a relationship should a guy and a girl start doing physical things / sexual things? I've been In a relationship for about two months is it too early for making out. Handjobs... ect? ...
A. 12 July 2012: There is never a "should" when it comes to becoming physically intimate in a relationship. It happens when you both are ready and want to. It also depends on the nature of the relationship, your culture, how it started, and where it's going.
... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to forget what he's done to me?
Q. My boyfriend has beat me more than a couple times before and hasn't in a period of time and has told me he wouldn't ever again but I am scared of him im scared a lot of the time and if he gets really mad at me he threatens to choke me or beat me but ...
A. 11 July 2012: You leave.
I'll say it again:
YOU LEAVE HIM.
If you're scared of leaving him, then you go to the police, the courts, your family, your closest friends, anyone you can turn to for support, and you leave him. Get a restraining order agains... (read in full...)
Should I take a part time living arrangement in order to see more of my boyfriend?
Q. i will be 28 and never lived with roomates or anything..the closest thing was my ex and being there a few nights a week. I met someone who is around my age and is having bad luck right now..it's been 5 dates or so but we have been talking for a ...
A. 11 July 2012: NO NO NO!!! Do not make decisions based on a guy you've had 5 dates with. Never ever ever! Next it'll be that he needs money from you. You do not know this guy, nor should you make these kinds of decisions this impulsively.
That being said, yo... (read in full...)
Should I tell her the real reason I broke up with her?
Q. Hello everyone. thanks for checking my post out. Really appreciate it. Okay first things first. I broke up with the love of my life which is my now-ex gf early month last year. I broke it off because of my mom and the reason I told my ex is be...
A. 11 July 2012: I'm confused. Why was your mom going to step into this relationship and break you both off in the first place? How old are you???
So, you're scared of your mom, but you broke up with her because you told her you didn't think she could be faith... (read in full...)
Nasal issues prevent me from engaging in long passionate kissing. I could really use some advice!
Q. I was born with nasal problems that make it really hard for me to breathe through my nose. It makes long kisses pretty difficult. How am I supposed to makeout a girl if I can't breathe through my nose? Should I hold my breath or try to breath ...
A. 11 July 2012: Alternate between holding your breath, and breaking up the kiss. Don't breathe into her mouth. Alternate between kissing her lips and her neck, then back to her lips. Go slow and tease her, and it'll be okay! You don't have to latch onto her ... (read in full...)
The guy I broke up with is threatening to harm himself if I don't give him a second chance. What can I do?
Q. I broke up with a guy who didn't treat me right. But when I refused I give him a second chance, he threatened to commit suicide. This is worrying me. I told him we could be friends but he did not want to. And he just went from blaming himself and ...
A. 11 July 2012: I wish I knew the system in which your country handles medical emergencies there, or the laws which govern the triggering of psychiatric evaluations, so all I can tell you is how you would handle this if you lived in the US. The spirit of the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm a freak because I used a male escort once. What do you think?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months now, things are going great and he's showing signs that he's about to pop the question, which I'm very excited about as I love him so much. Oh my God that sounds soooo girly and I'm not a girly girl at ...
A. 10 July 2012: One other thing:
I get what the other aunts are saying here, but if your purpose was served to prove to yourself that a guy could become aroused by you and get back in the saddle sexually, the absolute last thing you want to do is hire a guy. He... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm a freak because I used a male escort once. What do you think?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months now, things are going great and he's showing signs that he's about to pop the question, which I'm very excited about as I love him so much. Oh my God that sounds soooo girly and I'm not a girly girl at ...
A. 10 July 2012: You're not a freak.
However, if you were building a relationship with your boyfriend, he might see it as cheating to know that while you were talking to him, you slept with someone else. I would be angry too if a guy I had started dating secretly... (read in full...)
How do I make this awful feeling go away?
Q. I have been dating a man for about 6 months, we were friends for 6 months before that. He lived with a woman for 15-17 years before we meet, (they broke up 1 year before we started dating) At some point they became engaged. I do not know much ...
A. 10 July 2012: A cult of 2? YIKES! Be careful with this guy and REALLY take it slow. It takes 2 to make a relationship unhealthy, and he's bringing 50% of that unhealth into your relationship. Trust me, a proposal of marriage too quickly shows me that there is ... (read in full...)
should I just bite the bullet and tell my parents that I’m gay
Q. A few months ago I took a huge step by telling one of my friends that I’m gay. She was the first person I told. The risk paid off as she confessed that she was also gay, which I had previously suspected, and we talked about it. I recently had my ...
A. 10 July 2012: Have you been gay for a long time, or are you now just exploring your attraction towards women?
If you've known you've been gay for a long time, been in relationships with women and knew in your soul that this is your sexual orientation, then sur... (read in full...)
If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal?
Q. If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal? We are both in mid thirties, been together going on 2 years. When is it time to walk away in search of finding someone who will wanna get ...
A. 10 July 2012: Every person is different. Some get married in less than a year, and some take 5 years to do it.
Two years is understandable to be together without being married in my opinion, but I understand that at your point in life, you're ready to fulfi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fetish for plus size women, and I am thin. He has profiles on multiple dating sights for men with fat fetishes. I need some advice please!
Q. Ok so my bf of nearly 4 years have been on and off for a few months as he keeps messaging other girls and lying to me. He blames this on the fact that I am a 'control freak' by which he means I don't care for him getting drunk and trying to buy ...
A. 10 July 2012: Okay, truthfully, in the scheme of things, weight means nothing here. He is disloyal and he cheats on you. Whether these women are fat or thin makes no difference. If he's dating other women, buying other women drinks, and that, this is no ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure who my baby's father is.
Q. I am 20 years old and just had my first child. She was born March 27 2012 . Problem is is I don't know who her father is. I had sex May 30 2011 with my ex boyfriend e and on June 29 2011 with my current boyfriend. I remember the doctors giving me an ...
A. 10 July 2012: A DNA test will be the only thing that will tell you for sure, but odds lean more in favor with your current BF.
... (read in full...)
How do I make this awful feeling go away?
Q. I have been dating a man for about 6 months, we were friends for 6 months before that. He lived with a woman for 15-17 years before we meet, (they broke up 1 year before we started dating) At some point they became engaged. I do not know much ...
A. 10 July 2012: I wouldn't classify this as relationship insecurity, though it feels like it fits. In this case, your feelings are extremely smart to have.
You've been dating for 6 months -- WAY too soon to be talking about marriage. Many couples haven't ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me so why keep pictures of the woman he cheated with?
Q. My bf is 23 and I'.m 22. We've been together 2+ years.Las Saturday I foun out through a friend he hd an affair for 4 months(feb 2012-may 2012) but it was over. I was upset. I also found out he had a one night stand the day before,Friday. I called ...
A. 8 July 2012: First, you can't destroy other people's property. This is what you did when you went on his computer and started deleting things. No matter how wrong it is or how disloyal, you can't touch his stuff. *He* has to delete these things himself.
... (read in full...)
I give, he takes. My business is in debt, he refuses to get a job. Does he love me? Should I tell him to move on?
Q. Hi My financee works for a company I set up 3 years ago. The business is going poorly.I started with my own money, and it is in my name, as he has no money of his own. It has a overdraft of a few thousands of dollars now and no income coming in....
A. 6 July 2012: HOLD IT. This is stickier than simply a "He uses me financially" situation. You need to watch your legal back.
You have to split your problem into two parts here.
1. He is your employee. If he is on your payroll, and you're paying him a sal... (read in full...)
How do I explain our breakup without saying I'm gay?
Q. I just told my boyfriend of several years that I'm likely a lesbian. He is a great guy, honestly. He seemed to take it well - we broke it off but agreed to be friends. I still feel really guilty for doing it. I mean, I still love him as a pe...
A. 6 July 2012: You don't have to explain why you broke up with him. Just say your hearts were going in other directions. If your friends or family press you, just tell them that you wanted to date other people and that you both weren't feeling the chemistry with ... (read in full...)
My father doesn't like my boyfriend. Should I tell him we're getting married? Or wait till afterwards?
Q. Hi! I'm getting married to the love of my life in a couple of months. I lost my mom a year ago and my father is... well, he's never been there for me and he is always pretty scary and judgmental. I still love him, in a way, you know, he's still my ...
A. 6 July 2012: I think you should invite him. Sometimes parents project their own emotions onto their kids. He is the one sad and lonely now because of the loss of your mom, whether they were together when she passed away or not. Even though you lived far away ... (read in full...)
What are the benefits of having good credit?
Q. What are the benefits of having good credit? I always use cash for personal expenses, and my parents' credit cards for big expenses such as tuition and textbooks. My parents are encouraging me to start using a credit card under my name, although ...
A. 5 July 2012: The benefits are greater now than they were in our parents' time.
1. EMPLOYMENT: Many employers are taking credit history as part of the reasoning for hiring someone.
2. LONG TERM: Want to buy a house or a business? You have to start small a... (read in full...)
I had a one-night=stand, he said he would call and didn't. How long should I wait before I delete him as a friend?
Q. So, I had an unplanned one night stand on Sunday. I normally never do one night stands. Only did it once before. I have heard so much from friends about guys being all nice and then never calling back and that has been my experience too last time, ...
A. 5 July 2012: "He asked me if it is alright for him to call because he really wanted to see me again and I told him I was really embarassed by the way things happened between us and didn't want him to feel obligated to follow through, to which he repeated that ... (read in full...)
Dating for four years, we have a child together, and he still hasn't introduced me to his other children.
Q. I have been with my boyfrien for 4 years. I've known him for 10. He has a 9 year old son and a 16 year old son with 2 women. I've seen his youngest son a few times but he didnt formally introduce him to me. Ihave never met his older son. We now have ...
A. 5 July 2012: I can't shake the thought of something here.
Usually, when you see this sort of thing happening, there's only one thing that pops into my head, and that's a double life. People who hide behind privacy in matters like this have something to hide.... (read in full...)
How do we tell our parents about this unplanned pregnancy?
Q. So...going from my previous posts, we have established my girlfriend of 3 months is pregnant and is refusing to have a termination or place the child up for adoption. She is 19 and i am 24. Lou hasn't met my parents yet, i have met her family l...
A. 5 July 2012: Actually, sitting them down and saying "I have something to tell you" is the farthest thing from obvious that you can get. Corny? No. Life-changing for you and them? Absolutely. Your parents being posh has nothing to do with anything. I think ... (read in full...)
Some varied ideas sought, please, on ideas for a first date to ensure it is good?
Q. Well i'am planning on going out with this girl and i was wondering...what would be the best place to go out on a first date? My plans where to go to a romantic french restaurant, that got amazing reviews with an amazing chief or so it has been said...
A. 5 July 2012: You didn't mention how you met her, but Abella is on the right track here. What do you know of her?
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
This means, you have to know what lights her up. If she's not into fancy restaurants and more into the grilled fare or ... (read in full...)
Dating for four years, we have a child together, and he still hasn't introduced me to his other children.
Q. I have been with my boyfrien for 4 years. I've known him for 10. He has a 9 year old son and a 16 year old son with 2 women. I've seen his youngest son a few times but he didnt formally introduce him to me. Ihave never met his older son. We now have ...
A. 5 July 2012: I may be narrow minded in this subject, but my opinion is that once the notion of siblings or half-siblings are concerned, not to mention having sex and bearing children have entered the scene, the excuse of "I'm private" is utterly disqualified.
... (read in full...)
What are the unwritten rules about living together?
Q. what are the rules of moving in togather? Does the man always have to tell the wife/gf where he is going,what hes doing, vice verser with the girl, does she tell her man where she is going if she steps out the door, visitin rules who can visit who ...
A. 3 July 2012: Don't worry! You will not lose your freedom. The only real rules are the ones that both of you agree on. Assumption is the relationship killer.
I've been married almost 14 years. We do tell each other where we go, but we don't constant... (read in full...)
I'm being pressured to get a job and drive , but I still don't feel ready!
Q. I'll try to make this as brief as possible... My mom and step dad have been pressuring me to drive and get a job, ever since I graduated, which was only a few weeks ago. Now, I took two weeks off from everything to de-stress, but now I've been ...
A. 3 July 2012: Oh man, living with a phobia sucks so bad, because people do not understand it. One of my best friends in the world is beyond terrified of driving. I think it's been at least 8 years since she last drove.
Since we must live in this world, a... (read in full...)
He's keeping a secret from me and I'm worried about what that means
Q. My BF of a year and a half had some type of trauma nearly 12 yrs ago. He eludes to it having made him who he is today but he won't share the story with me. I'm a bit hurt he won't share this big part of his life with him. I've shared my deepest, ...
A. 3 July 2012: I believe in patience, but I also believe in protection. I'd make sure he didn't commit a crime. I'd make sure that his traumatic event wasn't him losing control and seriously hurting someone. I'd also make sure he didn't do something that puts me ... (read in full...)
My b/f drunkenly hooked up with my brother's ex a year ago. Now my brother is mad!
Q. I started seeing this guy who is friends with my brother and my ex. My ex and I have been broken up for three years. My ex got mad about me and his friend and told my brother this "secret" about my new guy which was that after my brother and his ...
A. 2 July 2012: This is one of those "under the surface" kinds of question. That means that instead of the obvious focus on your brother's anger, there are some much more important issues here than that.
But I'll talk about the brother's anger to get it out of t... (read in full...)
Could I do better elsewhere? Is the job market really so bad in USA?
Q. Over the last year, I've been doing my Masters degree at the uni in a city not too far from my hometown, and it's been fully funded/well paid. The place I'm living in at the moment is expensive, but I've found a cheaper/nicer place with friends ...
A. 1 July 2012: It actually varies by state and by industry.
In states like California, Nevada, Michigan (in the manufacturing sector), Ohio, Rhode Island, North Carolina, and others, some industries which have been hurt most by the economy have driven up unemp... (read in full...)
When love isn't enough.
Q. So here's the thing, I've been dating my boyfriend off and on now for two years. I don't know if it's fate or what but we seem to always find out ways back to each other. However, over the past few months I've been feeling like I'm completely ...
A. 28 June 2012: He's not the one to focus on here, surprising to say.
YOU are the one...
You're in a rut, terrified of the new and clinging desperately to what's familiar. This is either out of a sense of not thinking you'll find someone else, or you're ... (read in full...)
We've been dating 6 years and have never had sex
Q. i am a 24 years old virgin going out with a guy for over six years now,though we do kiss nd do some other thing,but not to have sex,but sometimes i feel pity for him just because of his patience with me.what should i do,cos i dont want to have sex ...
A. 28 June 2012: I would go a step farther than Janniepeg and question the sexuality of both you and your boyfriend.
You don't want to have sex at all? It's one thing to want it and keep to a moral code. It's quite another to totally NOT want it. At 24 years... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: Oh, I forgot. If there are any porn activist sites run by men locally, you might find luck there. You're looking for a rare person, but go where they are.
The site "yourbrainonporn.com" has a discussion board filled with men working to erase... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: You should go find a guy in places or social circles where the stigma of watching porn and their moral choices about watching it are strong.
In short, you're probably looking for the same kind of guy who will wait until marriage for sex, dev... (read in full...)
How do I get over my crush over a dead actor?
Q. I know this going to sound weird but, I'm obssed with a dead guy. I watched stand by me when 3. I was 12 we got the actual dvd. I've watched that movie over 200000000000000 times, i know every word. I even know the day the location and the exact ...
A. 28 June 2012: Heh, I looked it up too. River Phoenix died at that time due to a drug overdose. I like the movie Stand By Me too, but I actually thought Kiefer Sutherland was cuter in that movie! LOL
You're obsessed with a fantasy, not the actual guy. You bon... (read in full...)
Guilty of leaving my wife and son for my mistress! What should I do?
Q. This is a tough one. I been separated from my wife of 10 years for 9 months now. We have a loving 2 year old boy. The reason for the separation is because I fell in love with my mistress. I been living with her now and we now have a relationship ...
A. 27 June 2012: You know, there's a saying. "You can't unscramble an egg."
This means that you have changed everything the moment you first went to bed with your mistress. It's interesting that now you're describing living with your mistress as "working... (read in full...)
Should I write her a msg and tell her everything?
Q. Last year, a guy from college messaged me (i've been out of school for 5 years) and we were never close, just acquaintances. We were facebook friends and last year he randomly told me that he broke up with his college girlfriend. I remember seeing ...
A. 27 June 2012: If you told him that you and he are over, then what is there left? He should tell her about you, not you. You knowingly were an accomplice to his cheating. Forget all the crap and lies about them being "complicated". Those are the worthless ... (read in full...)
He says he wants a casual relationship but I want him to commit
Q. I recently got into a casual relationship with an ex, we were only together briefly but we really had feelings for each other. The relationship ended on a good note. So now we've decided to see each other again and he put it out straight at the ...
A. 27 June 2012: He will not commit. He wants a casual relationship. He says he loves you and all that because he wants the "girlfriend experience" without having a girlfriend.
You're right about a casual FWB (Friends with Benefits) having an expirati... (read in full...)
He cheated throughout our relationship, what do I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year, i guess u could say a bit longer than that but we spent a few months getting to know each other 1st. Through out the course of the year, i suspected he was up to no good, he called me ...
A. 27 June 2012: You must understand. He didn't cheat *on* you. He cheated *with* you on his girlfriend. You are his woman on the side. You were not his primary relationship.
Your entire relationship has been a lie. You thought about a future with him with... (read in full...)
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