A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. thanks for checking my post out. Really appreciate it.Okay first things first. I broke up with the love of my life which is my now-ex gf early month last year. I broke it off because of my mom and the reason I told my ex is because she's not up to be unfaithful to me (actually, she admitted that she couldn't be sure to stay faithful to me when i'm gone for studies). She was more heartbroken than I am and i know that. She called me who i'm not like an asshole, jerk and all other stuffs that you can think of if a boy hurts your feelings. It really hurts.The thing is, if I didn't break us off, my mom would go to her doorstep and do it by herself. Pretty crazy huh? So I decided to break it off. Over the phone. 5,000+ miles away. I was so heartbroken and still am. Next year, I found out she had a boyfriend. Yes, HAD a bf of 9 months. They started seeing each other last year until around april. She broke it off with her new bf because of me and frankly, she's still not over me. I started seeing her again the last few months and she said she hated me, asked why I broke it off (i didn't tell her the truth), has feelings for me AND the new guy. I tried to win her back by hanging out more often with her, made gifts and etc.. She wouldn't take me back. I've tried everything I could to take her back and she denied her feelings for me and said she loves the other guy because he's nice and i'm a jerk and all those hurtful stuffs.My point is, should I tell her the truth about the break-up? Would it bring positive impact on me and her or the other way around? I still love her. Still am since the last couple of years and still counting! She's my oxygen, my life and my happiness. Please help me with your opinions. I'm deeply hurt.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Hi. It's me again. The poster of this question. Your comments and thoughts so far has helped me a lot to be stronger and a better person and for that, I owe you all a gratitude.
I called her and told the truth. It was soo hard to even mutter the words but I eventually talked. Her reaction was quite surprised and she was keen on listening to what I had to say. She didn't say much about it but i'm pretty sure she has a lot of thinking in her head since she was a little too quiet and our conversation pretty much ended when I finished telling her the truth. What do you guys think? I really want to move a step forward with her but there was nothing much happened back there. Should I contact her?
A
female
reader, Sakari2 +, writes (12 July 2012):
 The way you talk about the situation seems like you really want to give it another go... if it doesn't work out then leave it for good - an option which you have already considered so you wouldn't have anything to lose...
Just give it a go! Tell her everything and see how things plan out... again Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): Hi again. It's me, the one who asked this question. Firstly, I truly appreciate all of your comments and advises.
So, do you guys think I still have a shot with her? I love her so much. Should I tell her the truth and work on our relationship or just leave this be? I've been dying to get back together with her. She makes me really really happy. Even when we started seeing each other again a few months back.
P/S: If you guys haven't checked out my response, it's the second answer below Sakari2.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): Put the mother issue aside for a moment.
Your GF admitted she might not be faithful to you soon? That is grounds for a breakup right there IMHO.
In my experience people who MIGHT cheat aren't sure enough to say anything. People who tell you that they may cheat, you can bet money on it.
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A
female
reader, Sakari2 +, writes (11 July 2012):
Personally I think you should tell her the truth about the break up, she seems confused and if she still likes you she nay be able to accept the reason. Obviously you didn't want your mom to go round there, so i'm guessing you wanted to take control of the situation and do it yourself... I am unsure on why you ended it if you liked her so much even with the mom problem... Well i guess everyone makes rash decisions and mistakes but telling the truth would be the right step forward... I know I would appreciate the truth and this girl may be able to get past it and move on.
Wishing you luck...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): Hi there. I'm the one who posted this question. I do appreciate your comment but hear me out please.
Firstly, I'm not scared of my mom. I was with her for 1 year+. That didn't stop me from dating her. The reason I broke up with her is because my mom would do it herself by, going face to face with my ex's parents and herself and tell them to leave me alone. I wouldn't want that to happen. That'll be a total mess. She thinks my ex is ruining my life like acting as a distraction. Also, my mom is aware that I once had a tendency to suicide because of her and I admit that I'm weak when it comes to her. She's the first to give me feelings that i've never felt before. I was sooo very happy. Secondly, she currently has no bf. That's why I'm beating myself up to get back to her.
And yes, you have a point. I truly acknowledge your opinions. I wish to take her back and make things right by, not letting anyone tell me that I can't catch my dreams and man up. I've done a lot of thinking regarding this problem and I know I can be independent and strong this time. I'm ready to do anything I can to make things right.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 I'm confused. Why was your mom going to step into this relationship and break you both off in the first place? How old are you???
So, you're scared of your mom, but you broke up with her because you told her you didn't think she could be faithful. What has changed that you can now date her again?
First of all, she's got a new boyfriend. She's moving on from you. You dumped her, and that's natural.
Second, why would you go to great lengths to get her away from her current boyfriend to be with you again if your mommy is going to just go jump in, triggering you to just break her heart all over again??
If this girl was such "oxygen" to you, why would the mere fear of your mom cause you to end things? What adult man is run by his mom like this?? Unless your mom had a very good reason to object to your relationship (i.e. your girlfriend is a drug user, a criminal, or has HIV or something), she's out of line.
I think you should leave your ex alone. She is with someone else who doesn't let his mommy rule him. The way your life is now, you can't guarantee a future with her, because at the drop of a hat, you'll dump her again.
Sorry to be blunt, but seriously. Scared of your mom, so you break up with her, and scared of her, so you have to lie to her. I think you need to grow up and focus on your own future and becoming independent in your own right, so that you can make decisions without being on your mom's apron strings. Likewise, if your mom would actually interfere with your life (you, a grown man) contact her and break the two of you up and you'd LET her, then you seriously need to grow up. You're not 12 years old anymore.
You need to live with your decisions and let this girl move on, until you're at a point where if you love someone, nobody can break you up. Not mommy, and not for a lack of spine.
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