A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with a guy who didn't treat me right. But when I refused I give him a second chance, he threatened to commit suicide. This is worrying me. I told him we could be friends but he did not want to. And he just went from blaming himself and saying he would change to blaming me for not understanding him or the things he does. What am I to do? I don't want to feel guilty if he really kills himself but what are the odds of him actually doing it?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 What everyone else said.. he’s bluffing. He’ trying to manipulate you and blackmail you emotionally.
Call his bluff… This is NOT your fault… DO NOT feel guilty.
If you think he is really a danger to himself are there authorities you can report it to?
Tell him, it’s over.
Then when he says “I’ll kill myself if you leave me and it will be your fault” you say
A. It won’t be my fault
B. It’s NOT my problem you are my ex.
And you keep going….
My ex husband used to say “Ill kill myself then” when he got stressed and had to be an adult and it overwhelmed him and until I was smart enough to not baby him about it, he milked it for all it’s worth… once I started saying… “could you do it outside in the field off the property so as to not hurt my resale value” he’s shut up…
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 Like YouWish said, call his bluff.
I highly doubt he's in the small percentage of people who'd actually take their own life because someone broke up with them. It's far more likely he's simply trying to manipulate you into giving him another shot.
Talk to his parents, tell them what's going on and what he's said he's planning to do. Talk to the police. Make sure that just in case he actually IS feeling suicidal, there are people around to watch over him. And if he's just faking because he wants you back, this is a good lesson for him to learn about crying wolf.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 Lodge a complaint with your local police, with the help of your family. Don't hide this from anyone anymore because now he's just manipulating you because he knows he can scare you. If everyone around knows you what is going on, then he cannot manipulate the situation anymore.
Dont talk to him or respond to him in any way because a response from you is what he wants. Just ignore him, remember, barking dogs seldom bite. He will probably not do anything and is just arm-twisting you to get back with him but if you remain rigid and dont cave in, he will stop.
In any case, take no chances, inform the police so that in the worst case scenario even if he does something then you are not responsible for it in any way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): "What am I to do?"
As soon as you read this, call Emergency Medical Services
to report your ex has threatened suicide and then immediately call the police to request protection until he
can be located and taken to hospital for emergency psychiatric evaluation. Make sure you follow through and take all legal steps to follow through with courts obtain restraining order issued by judge.
Do not let him emotionally blackmail you and do not dismiss his threats. ANY threat of suicide is to be taken seriously, for your safety and protection as much as his. He is a sociopath and a danger to himself and you, the sooner he is committed for psych evaluation the safer you will be.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 July 2012):
 I wish I knew the system in which your country handles medical emergencies there, or the laws which govern the triggering of psychiatric evaluations, so all I can tell you is how you would handle this if you lived in the US. The spirit of the premise is the same, but maybe you can adapt the application of it for your country.
In short, you need to call his bluff. His threat is a form of manipulation, whether he means to go through with it or not. You *must* not feel responsible for his actions, because they are his, not yours. Do not offer to be friends. You need to make the break from him for good.
In my country, if someone threatens suicide either as a form of manipulation or not, it's our duty to call 911 (our emergency police, ambulance, or fire phone number) and report that the person threatening to kill him or herself is a danger to himself/herself or others. If someone were to make the threat here, I'd suggest looking him in the eye, saying "Are you serious about this, because if you are, I must immediately call an ambulance to take you into psychiatric custody for your protection". This usually weeds out the manipulators from the ones who are actually planning to kill themselves.
Does he have a mother, father, brothers, sisters, etc? If he's threatening to kill himself and your country doesn't have a way to get medical care for him, call his family and report to THEM that he is a danger to himself or others. Then he's THEIR responsibility, not yours.
Above all, do not stay with him because he threatens suicide. He chooses this, not you. It's simple manipulation designed to get you to feel sorry for him and stay with him out of guilt. Call his bluff, and get his family and medical personnel involved. If he truly is depressed and a danger to himself, you'll be saving his life. If he's a faker and a manipulator, you'll be free of him.
Either way, do NOT stay friends with him. End it for good, meaning do not contact him anymore. Being friends is never ever a good idea, and usually the "let's just be friends" is usually offered either as a way to keep hope for a relationship alive, or, in your case, to try to alleviate the guilt you feel for dumping him.
End the relationship. Call his bluff, and get his family involved and the medical/police/help if he's not bluffing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): hunny what ever you do, DONT give him a second chance, he is clearly unstable and probably not a safe person to be around if he makes those sort of threats! chances are (as horrble as this may sound) if he was going to kill himself he wouldnt be threatening to and talking about it, he would have gone and done it. It sounds like he is just trying to manipulate you into taking him back. If you are worried about his well being then you could contact someone and tell them of his threats, such as his parents or other family member or if you have no1 else, his boss at work. I no it sounds like it could cause trouble but if you genuinly think his life is at risk then it wont matter.If you dont think it is (which is as i suspect then personally i would just cut all contact and move on. best of luck with this x
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A
female
reader, Trees +, writes (11 July 2012):
Ive done and had friends do the 'Im gonna kill myself' bs. MOST likely he wont, it'll just take him awhile to get over it. But then again there are those few who get pushed over the edge... If he wasnt treating you right then DO NOT take him back. Trust me. I just got over my ex like that. It's better without them in the longrun. If hes good looking or has any good personality traits, he'll find someone. It just takes time. But whatever you do, please promise you wont take him back. It worries me when I hear of these situations.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (11 July 2012):
 That is abuse. He is trying to guilt you back into a relationship with him, which is unhealthy and he needs help immediately.
Next time he threatens harming himself or suicide, tell him you're going to call either a.) The police or b.) Medical assistance and DO IT. They will take him into custody and begin treating his obvious mental instability.
Good luck OP. Hope this helped.
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