A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently got into a casual relationship with an ex, we were only together briefly but we really had feelings for each other. The relationship ended on a good note.So now we've decided to see each other again and he put it out straight at the start that he only wants a casual relationship. It seemed fine at the time but he is breaking every rule in the "casual relationship handbook" He tells me he loves me, he texts and calls me everyday. But unlike him I haven't emotionally gave myself to him because well I'm not stupid enough to trust the dog who bit me. Recently, just to know, I asked him how he felt about me seeing other people. He accepted it but wasn't pleased with the idea. I don't want to be with other people because it would feel wrong. I just want to get him to commit or there's no hope for our relationship in the future. In my eyes a casual relationship has an expiry date. This is the last time I'll give myself to him. Although for the next two months we will live an hour and a bit away but come septemeber we basically live on each others doorsteps. And it is important to note that we don't have sex although we do occasionally pleasure each other. This is because he needs to be circumcised.How do I make him commit?
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 "How do I make him commit? "
That's like your FWB guy asking "How do I get her sleep with me, take all my BS, and have her not develop any feelings for me or wanting a serious relationship?" Is there something he can magically do to fulfill that criteria? Can he do or say something that will make you want a casual relationship where you're content and happy? No, right? Well, the same applies to him. He told you he doesn't want you as a girlfriend and that he doesn't want anything serious.
Will he feed you emotional BS to drop your panties? Yes. Will he be jealous that some other guy is going out with you? Yes. No one likes to share. Not wanting to share your f*ck buddy and possible STDs does not mean he cares or wants to be with you though.The bottom line is that he doesn't want a future with you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): He hasn't broken any rules of the casual relationship handbook OP, he's allowed do and say what he wants because he has told it is never going to be anything else.
He told you! You really should listen. He is not going to change his mind or he wouldn't have risked losing you by saying it's strictly casual.
"well I'm not stupid enough to trust the dog who bit me."
Oh yeah? Then what's all this shit? - "How do I make him commit?"
Seems he's getting his bites and you're only waiting for him to have his op before you start letting him bone you.
You want commitment, he doesn't, so who's the dog doing the biting here? He's getting what he wants and you're giving it to him.
If you really are that much of a sucker to think that this is or ever will be anything more then I feel for you because the time to ensure he would commit was before you started pleasuring him according to his rules.
You're in for a big shock when you figure out that all he is talk and the only true thing he said was that it would only ever be casual.
He told you it was casual, everything else is your own fault. He can say I love you a million times at the end of the day it means nothing because you agreed to a no commitment thing and he now feels it's safe to say and do anything he wants because you signed that contract.
Want him to commit? Tell him there is no more you and him, no more fooling around until he does. I bet you my house he'll say some crap like I'm not ready, or maybe in the future etc and you'll fall for that too.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 June 2012):
 He will not commit. He wants a casual relationship. He says he loves you and all that because he wants the "girlfriend experience" without having a girlfriend.
You're right about a casual FWB (Friends with Benefits) having an expiration date. However, the natural next step is NOT to commit. FWB's very rarely become relationships. The natural next step is to end the arrangement.
You don't have sex with him because he needs to be circumcised? OUCH. You two are not compatible, and you're wasting your time with him if you want him to commit and be circumcised while he wants a casual friendship. This will not happen for you.
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