I've been caught stealing and my employers know about it, they have given me 2 options, so what do I do now?
Q. I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good. I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got...
A. 23 September 2012: "The store and his employer are separate entities. Neither of them can leverage the other. In fact, since he has not been convicted, the store besmirching his reputation with his employer is actionable in a civil suit."
This is true to a point, b... (read in full...)
I've been caught stealing and my employers know about it, they have given me 2 options, so what do I do now?
Q. I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good. I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got...
A. 22 September 2012: The thing you should not focus on is your immediate punishment for your crime, as the anon focused on. Yes, you may get probation, or community service, or a fine.
The issue is your criminal record. A petty larceny conviction is a really r... (read in full...)
I've been caught stealing and my employers know about it, they have given me 2 options, so what do I do now?
Q. I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good. I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got...
A. 21 September 2012: Yeah, their offer of resignation is a gesture of mercy, because your life will be pretty much hosed by a theft conviction on your permanent record. They have proof on their camera.
Have you offered other options? This supermarket obviousl... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand that he is not the type of man I want, without hurting him?
Q. I am a 30 year old woman, dating a 33 year old man. We have been together for four months now. My fear is that when we met I told him that "The stay together thing is not part of the relationship" as we are both christians and go to the same church. ...
A. 20 September 2012: He's 33 and should know better.
Ciar hit it right on the head. You're dropping hints and hoping he "gets it" without you having to come right out and confront him. That has to end. You have to be direct and concise, and if you're not interest... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but don't fancy her at all? what to do?
Q. i have a problem i love my girlfriend been with her a year and we want to live together at some point. have a lot in common and she is a lovely person who i do have have feelings for but only in a frinedship way. i dont fancy her anymore. its not ...
A. 20 September 2012: You should break up with your girlfriend. There is no other alternative here. Just be gentle when you do it, and let her know that while you feel friendship for her, you feel like you want to go in a different direction.
It's good that you don'... (read in full...)
Truly love my wife, only been with her, want to try another woman though.
Q. Hello there, I married my high school sweetheart. We have been together for near 15 years, married only about 5 years. We had kids "really" young. I have only ever slept with her and she has only ever slept with me 100% fact. So in technical ter...
A. 20 September 2012: "If my wife found out that I cheated 1 time, and I explained it to her that it was just curiosity like we talked about, I am 100% certain she would forgive me and be ok with it. She would probably use the opportunity to bring it up that she also ... (read in full...)
Isn't it a bit extreme for my boyfriend to just cut certain people out of his life?
Q. This really weird interaction happened when I was out with my boyfriend. We were walking along holding hands. We saw a friend of his in the street, my boyfriend called out to him to say hi. Then they were chatting briefly and then his friend looked ...
A. 19 September 2012: I feel really sorry for people who do that to an excess. I'm not talking about people who either have a major falling out (i.e. sleeping with best friend's girlfriend or husband), nor am I talking about a friendship that has just not made it ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and he's 18! I've never seen myself dating a younger guy with such a significant age gap!
Q. So I have a bad situation. Me and this guy met at a party and we really hit it off right away. We have a lot in common, he's adorably cute and has great style. Well eventually right when I really start liking this guy, he reveals his age to me. He ...
A. 17 September 2012: Three years is nothing!
I know it feels more than it is, but that's because everything feels different chronologically in high school and college. After that, you might as well be twins if your age is within 5 years of each other.... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from fearing that my girlfriend is cheating?
Q. How can I deal with my insecurities and my constant fear that my girlfriend is cheating? I've previously been in three serious relationships, and in all three of them it either ended, or the relationship ended up damaged beyond repair, by the g...
A. 16 September 2012: Are you saying that in every one of your last three serious relationships, the girl cheated on you? All three? I ask because your wording was vague, that they "either ended OR were damaged by cheating".
If every one of your relation... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my man trust me in the sight of other men?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this guy for some years now and I don 't think he trust me. I don't understand why but every time I come to his house and we could be standing out side and a group of guys came over to his sisters house to drink ...
A. 16 September 2012: There are actually two things at play here:
1. His insecurity causes him to start hovering around you like a dog hovers around a bone and snarls at any other dog who even looks like they want to take the bone away
and
2. His wanting to mak... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's penis red and chaffed after sex. Was it just from sex?
Q. Yesterday after having sex with my boyfriend, he started to feel chafed around the head of his penis. He said it hurt a lot and I noticed it was very red. I couldn't really tell but it almost looked like he was bleeding??? We had sex even though I ...
A. 16 September 2012: I'm not a doctor, but that sounds much more like some sort of infection than mere friction. Frequent sex, coupled by maybe a scrape, could have exacerbated things.
PLEASE tell me that you are both using condoms every single time without fail. T... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex he needs to pay attention to his daughter before he loses her or keep my nose out of it?
Q. Hi all i wanted to ask what you thought of this situation with my ex and possibly what i could/should do about it. Its complicated, We split up when i was 3 months pregnant due to his cheating. Within a week and a half he found someone else and...
A. 16 September 2012: He's your *ex*. It's not your place to correct him regarding his relationship with his daughter, because despite your feelings for how things went down with him, and despite your friendship with his daughter, it isn't your business.
What if it wa... (read in full...)
My fiance is joining the Army. She has cheated on me before and I'm scared she will again.
Q. So I'm not really sure how to go about this question so ill do the best I can I'm 20 years old Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years...I'm disabled and I'm basically her stay at home cleaning man...recently she has decided to join ...
A. 16 September 2012: Good point SVC! The follow-up did shed a bit more light on the nature of the disability.
You limit yourself in your mind, OP. Like I said earlier, disabled doesn't mean dead! You're selling yourself short and blaming where you are and who you ... (read in full...)
We never go out on dates, he says I am too materialistic!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We are both twenty. We have had our ups and downs, to say the least. He never takes me out on dates. He says he is too poor because he needs to pay rent. But dinner or a movie once in a while? Is that ...
A. 16 September 2012: I feel for him, because at 20, I was a poor college student living on my own. Unless someone's really well off or living with their parents, who can afford wining and dining?!
After a year of dating, we did Dutch on all of our dates unless i... (read in full...)
Don't know when or if I should tell this guy I'm a virgin.
Q. I've been reading a few questions people have asked on here about telling a guy their with that they are a virgin, well thing is i'm stuck on whether I should or even when. Because IF some guys see it as a conquest, then how do I know that he isn't ...
A. 15 September 2012: You should tell him. Then, take your time and don't just jump into sex.
I say this because, if he's the type of guy who views something like that as a conquest of challenge, it'll become apparent that he's not into you as a person, thus you'll b... (read in full...)
Can I get any pointers on how to feel platonic love?
Q. I've learned some really valuable lessons today. You see, I fell in very strong like with this guy who is asexual(but an aromantic asexual, like he's interested in relationships just not sex) And I told him that I liked him today and I really tho...
A. 15 September 2012: There's a *huge* difference in being celibate and being asexual. If you're a sexual person and he truly isn't, you're not going to be happy no matter how much you desperately want to be with him.
Sexual love is just as much beautiful and pure... (read in full...)
My fiance is joining the Army. She has cheated on me before and I'm scared she will again.
Q. So I'm not really sure how to go about this question so ill do the best I can I'm 20 years old Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years...I'm disabled and I'm basically her stay at home cleaning man...recently she has decided to join ...
A. 15 September 2012: You've both been together since you were 17? She's the same age as you? What happened after you found out she cheated on you? How did you decide to continue on as a couple together, and what steps, specifically, did she take to rebuild trust in ... (read in full...)
I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.
Q. Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...
A. 14 September 2012: Heh, I didn't mean that the OP should lock himself up. However, he needs a hand-on Gatekeeper, AND he needs some more intensive therapy.
I read his other posts going back to March, and what struck me is that he doesn't have the ability to break... (read in full...)
I moved my entire life for him, and he goes and cheats on me with his ex wife! I'm stuck here and don't know what to do....
Q. My bf and i met online. We have a few mutual RL friends. He lived 8 hours away. We met up about april of 2011. He was going through a divorce and so was i. But we got along really well and were really miserable apart from eachother. I ended up ...
A. 14 September 2012: Okay, listen really really closely, because while I know you're feeling this from the emotional standpoint, and I can't blame you, and I'm really sorry you got thrown under the bus, but you need to legally protect yourself.
First, you said "We... (read in full...)
I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.
Q. Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...
A. 14 September 2012: Okay, before I give you advice, I'm going to ask the other aunts who read this to withhold their initial reactions to my post. Don't spit coffee onto any monitors or read the beginning paragraph, rate me -99 stars, and berate me with words that ... (read in full...)
Keep the baby, adoption, or abortion?
Q. Im 19 yrs old and i just found out that im pregnant. I was taking the pill, have been for 3 mos. Idk how but i must have taken it wrong or maybe it just failed. Anyways my current bf and i have been dating 8mos. He is rather self absorbed, and is ...
A. 12 September 2012: There's no one in the world who can make that decision but you. This is one of the questions where we're just not qualified to advise you, nor should we in the matter of your pregnancy.
However, the matter of your boyfriend is open season. ... (read in full...)
My cheating ex seems to be trying to inch his way back into my life
Q. Hi all got a problem with the ex. We was together for a year or so and things was great between us,lived together, we was like best friends until i noticed he was a bit controlling, didnt like me going out without him drinking, was always on my ba...
A. 11 September 2012: I very *rarely* use this word either on the internet or in real life to describe a guy, and I even hesitate to use it now, but I read through your post twice, and it's all I can think of, so best to get it out of my system so I can then advise ... (read in full...)
What would you think of an otherwise decent woman having a one night stand in the distant past?
Q. If you were dating a woman of good standing, moral fibre and integrity.... what would you think of her if you found out she made one big mistake several years ago in the form of a one night stand found from the internet? Would who she is today be ...
A. 11 September 2012: You didn't mention whether the girl had a one night stand while she were dating the guy or if she had it before she was dating the guy.
I want to make it perfectly clear:
1. If the one night stand happened before she dated the guy and it was p... (read in full...)
He says he loves me as if I were a wife, but he won't marry me
Q. Dear cupid, Me and my boyfriend are seeing each other for 5 years now why doesn’t he want to marry me I ask him why? He immediately says it’s just that I can’t marry you he told me then I ask him do you love me. And he said yes; what the matter ...
A. 11 September 2012: You're not his girlfriend. He is not your boyfriend.
You are his mistress, and he is a lying, cheating married man.
Rule number one: A married man's words are utterly and completely worthless. Loves you "as a wife"? Have you seen how he ... (read in full...)
Help me overcome my fear of performing fellatio
Q. I have not given a blow job, I believe I have a fear of giving them. I need help getting over this fear so I can have a good sexual relationship. Please give me any tips or advice to get over this....
A. 11 September 2012: I agree with finding a guy who is understanding and non-pressuring, because fellatio is only one part of a good sexual relationship.
What is your fear about giving them? It's hard to advise you without pinpointing the nature of that fear. I... (read in full...)
My beautiful girlfriend can't get dates. What hope is there for the rest of us?
Q. I have a question for guys. I have this really beatifull girlfriend. She is a model type: 5.6". Very thin, with big boobs, blond, blue eyes, pretty smile, very friendly. We go out with her and another girl sometimes. Me and that other girl are ...
A. 10 September 2012: Yep, location, location, location! Bars are for skirt chasers who want one night stands. Work is for working and not soap opera romances that jeopardize careers.
Eddie's right -- the gym, a hobby, charity work, a regular outting has a better c... (read in full...)
I've become attached to my fiance's nephew
Q. I am 20 years old. My fiance, boyfriend, whatever you want to call him is 50. We are swingers, which means we're in an open relationship. now that the info is over, here's my story. I was driving home from my uncle's house one night and saw my...
A. 10 September 2012: The anonymous male reader has given fantastic advice. I second it word for word and wouldn't add or take away a single thing! ... (read in full...)
Ex had miscarriage, took her back, although the feelings aren't there
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend of two and a half years had a miscarriage, neither of us knew that she was even pregnant, until this started. Literally 2 days before that I had broken up with her because the feelings just weren't there, and she was ...
A. 10 September 2012: So, you broke up with your girlfriend because you had lost interest. Within 48 hours of ending a 2 1/2 year relationship, you were dating someone else.
If you are no longer in love with your girlfriend, then break up for good. You're not resp... (read in full...)
Should I make a move or wait until she is single?
Q. Hi. I like this girl and I know she likes me too, the problem is she is taken. Should I make a move on her and disregard her boyfriend or should I NOT make a move because she has a boyfriend?...
A. 10 September 2012: I agree with Ciar. Wait until she's single. If she likes you, she knows how to break up with her boyfriend. If you make a move on her, you're establishing your relationship by trying to get her to cheat on her boyfriend. That pretty much starts ... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship so why is my FWB acting this way?
Q. Hey everyone, I have been friends with benefits with this guy for like 2 and half years now!!well here's the thing we met at a bar,hooked up and I thought I would be a one night stand BUT no we ended up doing it over and over again! Its been 2 yea...
A. 9 September 2012: Yeah, I feel bad for him.
FWB won't work now if he has actual feelings for you.
And, the arrangement should end so that he can find someone else. You should let him go.
FWB does not mean that the other person exists for your amusemen... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girlfriend barely a month after we broke up, and he's going all out to profess his love for her!
Q. My ex broke up with me like 4 weeks ago. It was such a hurtful break up that I kept questioning myself what went wrong in our 5 year relationship. The love, the mental, physical, and emotional aspects were there too but maybe they were to me and not ...
A. 9 September 2012: He has moved on, and you have not.
You should emotionally detach from him once and for all, then it'll be you enjoying being with a guy who's into you.
You're so wrapped up in that he's enjoying his freedom that you've forgotten that y... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship so why is my FWB acting this way?
Q. Hey everyone, I have been friends with benefits with this guy for like 2 and half years now!!well here's the thing we met at a bar,hooked up and I thought I would be a one night stand BUT no we ended up doing it over and over again! Its been 2 yea...
A. 9 September 2012: I'm not so quick to agree with the others here.
I don't think that his wanting to talk to you means definitively that he's "fallen for you". People forget that the moniker "Friends with Benefits" doesn't mean "Dildo who Breathes". Maybe he was a... (read in full...)
Help , I'm screwing up the best relationship I ever had .
Q. Hi , I've been dating this beautiful girl for nearly a year now and I honestly love her to pieces . I'm completely crazy about her and I know she feels the same . We had quite a few arguments the first few months we were together . I know this was...
A. 7 September 2012: You are acting on your insecurity. Your reaction is to grab hold, argue, and try to hold onto her with an emotional stranglehold.
You've won half the battle in recognizing that this compulsion and insecurity is causing you to sabotage this rel... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't get horny anymore and I'm worried he's not attracted to me anymore....
Q. Hello my boyfriend tells me he isn't horny anymore like he used to and I feel like he isn't sexually attracted to me I try to turn him on but he tells me it's sensitive down there like it tickles and I don't know what to do. We seem to argue cause ...
A. 6 September 2012: That sexual energy is going somewhere. He could be caught in porn/masturbation, which would make things too sensitive. Or, he might be cheating, but lack of drive alone isn't enough to prove it. There better be other symptoms.
I agree with the... (read in full...)
My girlfriend romantically roleplays with others, would I be wrong to ask her to stop?
Q. Ok so I'm in a rather unique situation right now. I'm in a long distance relationship with my current girlfriend and she is an avid roleplayer on various forums with multiple people. The problem lies whenever she romantically roleplays with someone. ...
A. 6 September 2012: You're definitely in the right to ask her to stop. How would she like it if you were of cybering with another woman?
Unless she's an actress practicing for a film, or she's in acting school doing sanctioned role play in public, then she's go... (read in full...)
My abusive ex boyfriend refuses to pay me back the money he owes me
Q. I am stuck and need serious advice. I just got out of an abusive relationship (emotionally, verbally and recently, physically) and trying to recover. We bought a condo together but he put the mortgage under his name. I, however, paid the lawyer ...
A. 5 September 2012: You say that he owes you about $4,000 because of money you paid in order to buy a condo and move in together? Why is it not in your name then? After you moved in, who paid the mortgage? How much did he pay for the move-in? Did he pay the down ... (read in full...)
My best friend's boyfriend will make him choose between us. What should I do?
Q. I am gay and have a bisexual best friend. He is purely a friend and we have a platonic relationship. My best friend has just got a new boyfriend. I am 40 my best friend is 31 and his new boyfriend 20. His boyfriend is very possessive and does not ...
A. 4 September 2012: There is really nothing you can do about this. If your best friend's boyfriend is issuing an ultimatum, the decision falls to your best friend to decide what to do.
What you should NOT do is end the friendship. Don't tell your best friend t... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong? I've only had sex twice and it's not even painful.
Q. Okay so i have had sex only twice with my boyfriend. but it doesnt hurt one bit. its not even liek hes small. but even when he penetrates its not at all painful. it just feels like something is inside. i cant even feel the movement inside. is ...
A. 4 September 2012: It's totally okay! You are lucky!
Hymens vary widely on thickness, some being really thick and thus causes pain, while others are almost unnoticeable.
It's also possible that you caused it to break from other activity, like horseback riding... (read in full...)
I think my best friend slept with my FWB
Q. I think my best friend slept with my friends with benifits. She brings him up alot. How do I find out ? I slept with him two daya ago thimgs were good...
A. 4 September 2012: Yeah. FWB means No Strings Attached. What does it matter if your best friend sleeps with him? You have no relationship with him, you both just use each other for no-emotion sex.
However, if that seems a bit too crowded for you, then end the ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my wife over breast implants?
Q. my wife lies to me she had a breast implants done without my permission i dont like it what will i do. leave her?...
A. 4 September 2012: Hold on a sec!
I completely agree that it's her body and she makes final decision on how she feels she must alter it.
However, at a cost around the $7000-$10,000 range plus maintenence and lab costs, this would qualify as a big ticket item ... (read in full...)
After six years of dealing with trust issues I finally broke up with my boyfriend
Q. I feel really sad, because I broke up with my ex last Monday. We'd been struggling with his trust issues for a long 6 years. He had problems with my past, because I had been with a guy he knows (but I didn't sleep with him, I had a crush on him, we ...
A. 3 September 2012: I know that you're mourning the relationship, and I understand that. A six year relationship especially is traumatic when it ends.
That being said, I'm going to tell you a few things you're not going to believe at this point in your grieving... (read in full...)
Should I come right out and ask if she's on her period?
Q. Okay so normally I know it's not a good idea. But the problem is I've noticed this trend in my girlfriend. At around the beginning of every month (usually around the 5th), She completly ignores me I'm talking she doesn't have any contact with me and ...
A. 3 September 2012: I agree! Do *not* under any circumstances ask her whether her period is to blame for her moods, not if you want to keep her!
Instead of trying to guess and diagnose why she's feeling this way, you should ask her what's wrong. Of course, you'll h... (read in full...)
Wife talking to a FWB from 15 years ago. Should I worry?
Q. Should I be worried about my wife talking with here friend with benifit from about 15 years ago? My wife and I have been married 13 years and have two girls. About four month ago i notice my wife was becoming very secretive with her iPhone. ...
A. 2 September 2012: Wow. She should be apologizing to you. You didn't drive her to do anything. She made the choice to be disloyal and cheat on you online, and she did it again even after you both talked about it.
The rule with these things is NO CONTACT. Not "co... (read in full...)
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