A
male
age
36-40,
*onystarkben
writes:So...going from my previous posts, we have established my girlfriend of 3 months is pregnant and is refusing to have a termination or place the child up for adoption. She is 19 and i am 24.Lou hasn't met my parents yet, i have met her family loads ( i am over most nights) and they say i'm the nicest guy to ever be with their daughter.Lou is going to be 12 weeks gone soon and she will start to show so we think it's time to tell them ( and mine).I think if we sit them down and do the whole " we have something to tell you etc" that's just corny and obvious. Do you think it's better if i take her father out to a bar and tell him there? and Lou tells her mum? what do i say? I hope he doesn't own a shotgun.Also my parents are very posh and compared to my brother ( best son at everything, has a child and a fiance etc) my situation is very different.So any ideas of what to say / how to go about this?many thanks
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 Sit both of her parents down together and tell them straight up but you better be prepared to tell them what the 'the plan' is for your future, which might include you reassuring them that you plan to do the right thing and marry their daughter (fairly soon) so the baby's name will not be compromised and you will not look like a loser who doesn't plan to step up to the plate. It's probably NOT better to tell them seperately that could backfire big time. The wife may be the sympathizer who supports the idea and can think of nothing but the pitter-patter of little grandchildren, where as the Dad may just want to take you out behind the bar and shoot you. Get the picture.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (6 July 2012):
she is going to be 12 weeks gone soon and you are 3 months together? hmmm make sure she has got her dates right.I would advise against bringing her dad to a bar, he might freak out after a drink at that news. best to tell them at home and if they take it very badly at least you can escape and give them some time to take it in. you also need some time alone to take it in too, your girlfriend being almost 3 months gone must be some shock. good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 UNITED FRONT.
this is their GRANDCHILD....
you could take them (her parents) out to dinner as a couple and tell them at dinner...
as for your parents... they are going to want to meet the mother of their newest grandchild.... so set that up too...
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 July 2012):
 Actually, sitting them down and saying "I have something to tell you" is the farthest thing from obvious that you can get. Corny? No. Life-changing for you and them? Absolutely. Your parents being posh has nothing to do with anything. I think the real issue is that you hadn't made the relationship serious on your end, and this child coming has moved things faster than they should and you wanted them to.
You simply tell your parents that you were dating a woman of 3 months, and she is now pregnant with your child. You don't have to both be together to make this announcement to your parents, though they are going to want to meet the mother of their grandchild.
You're freaking out. This is also understandable. Your life is going to change forever, no matter what the future holds for you and your girlfriend, or your level of involvement in your child's life. I guarantee you that happiness is still out there for you. Children change lives, they don't ruin them.
As far as her parents are concerned, I highly doubt there will be shotguns coming out, because after their initial shock, everyone will do what's best for the new baby. It's called family, and you and she aren't pimply-faced 13 year olds. You're both adults and of consenting age. This maturity comes with responsibility towards your new son or daughter.
Short answer? Just tell them. There's no such thing as "corny". No elaborate trips to the bar. Just go there and tell them, and respond to their reactions with maturity. You didn't do anything wrong. Life just threw you a curb, and these are the risks of sexual activity.
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