A
female
age
30-35,
*eyshorty16
writes:So I'm just curious as of what guys/girls think. At what point in a relationship should a guy and a girl start doing physical things / sexual things? I've been In a relationship for about two months is it too early for making out. Handjobs... ect?
View related questions:
hand-job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 no rules on this one.
if you are ready and he's ready then it's time.
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (12 July 2012):
Yeah, there is no timetable for when things "should" happen. A good gauge is whether both of you are comfortable with the activity - both before, and after, it happens. (It's actually a sign of grown-up maturity - and probably a very positive sign for your relationship - when you can say something like, "Last night we went a little farther than I think we should have. Let's back off until I feel ready to try that again.".)
Want some examples to think about?
- When I was almost 18 I had my first girlfriend. It was a couple weeks before I was ready to hold hands, and about a month before we kissed. (She pretty much asked for the kiss - and she was VERY GOOD at it!) We were together for about 6 months, and never did more than necking and making out.
- In my last year of college some friends asked me to join them for the school's "Spring Fling" weekend - and be a blind date for a girl, to even out the M/F ratio. She was four years younger than me, nervous about being in the group of older folks but also somewhat flattered to be with an older guy. For 3 days we tried to look like a couple like the other 3 couples in our group - holding hands, sitting close, etc - but it wasn't right. On Sunday afternoon we were all at one couple's apartment and the real couples started fondling and making out. I guess it was peer pressure that I started kissing my "date". She went along with it, but after a few minutes I could tell that neither of us was really into it and we were just going along with it, so I broke it off and we went back to making small talk. A few days later her brother (one of the other 3 guys in the group) said she felt slighted that I didn't make out with her. So I called her and explained what I felt. I think she was honest when she said she felt the same way, but at the same time she wanted me to push the limits of what she was willing to do just to give her the confidence of knowing she was desirable.
- The summer after graduating from college (I was 22), I met the girl who would be my wife (almost 38 years now, and still married). About 6 hours after first laying eyes on each other we kissed on the first date - REALLY kissed. Well, OK, not really. The kissing was VERY passionate, serious, and real; but we had been writing to each other - progressively more serious letters - for 3 months before we met. In retrospect that was a great way for two quiet and shy people to get acquainted - to the point where it was actually right and natural to be making out on our first date.
(We progressed to other physically intimate things, but on our wedding night a year plus two weeks after we first met we were still virgins.)
- My daughter and her husband (married 7 years) didn't kiss until their wedding day. That wasn't an idea she got from my wife or me - in fact, at one point I even suggested to her (now) husband that they should be a bit more physically affectionate. I don't know what their married sex life is like, but they couldn't keep hands off each other at their wedding reception and they have produced 3 granddaughters!
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 July 2012):
 There is never a "should" when it comes to becoming physically intimate in a relationship. It happens when you both are ready and want to. It also depends on the nature of the relationship, your culture, how it started, and where it's going.
If you're interested in becoming physical as in making out and such, two months is a decent time to be doing that. You didn't mention whether you want to or whether he's wanting to and you're nervous, or whether both of you aren't wanting to.
It's always good to take things slow and savor the relationship if you're serious about the person you're with and want things to last. However, if you're just together to relieve sexual tension, then the sky's the limit.
Bottom line, both of you have to feel comfortable and want to. If you have reservations, those could be red flags that he's either not the one for you, or you're not attracted to him.
Tough to pinpoint without knowing more about the both of you and how this subject came up.
...............................
A
female
reader, tibob  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 well if both of you are ready to become intimate, then u shld go ahead. Maybe fooling around for a start and gradually move to more intimate things. There is no magic formula. It all depends on what you want. Discuss it with your gf
...............................
|
