A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I found out a month ago that my boyfriends doing dope.. But I found out by going threw his texts because I knew something weird was going on and I was getting concerned, but I didn't know how to tackle the issue so I thought I put the issue to rest but iv realized my ability to make choices for myself and to deal with things have greatly decreased lately I'm always angry and stressed and irate I'm don't recognize myself at all, iv always be very faithful and loyal but I in my de stressed state of mind made plans with a friends that iv been close with and known very well since fifth grade I'm 21 now, I figured he'd let me vent and wat not but after talking for hours he kissed me I told him I wasn't the girl that I don't wanna do this that I have a bf and then it happened anyway I was afraid to say no... I don't know why I feel like shit what should I do knowing fully well what I did was wrong but also knowing that my bf is lying to me about drugs in the beginning I made it clear to him how against hard drugs I am i don't know who I am right now but it's not myself..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): You may as well call it a day now if you haven't already, because this relationship's on its backside in my opinion. I doubt he's willing to admit he's got a drug problem to you and can you blame him? Would you admit to him you've cheated on him? A lot of people would feel ashamed to admit they're addicted to drugs, and its also one of the hardest things to admit to one's self too. Cheating is also something you would (or should at least) feel ashamed of. Are you overly keen on admitting that to him?
You don't have the moral high ground anymore in this situation, so you don't have the right to demand he come clean to you about his problem. So unless you can continue in a relationship with him as he is with no prospects of him kicking the habit any time soon, I suggest you go your separate ways.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): It was/is heroin and I did talk to family n friends first they all said to leave him..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): Well the way I see it you have 2 choices.
1) To come clean about kissing your friend, take an ear bashing from your boyfriend and continue to give your boyfriend an ear bashing about his drug abusive habit.
Or
2) Let sleeping dogs lie. In other words, don't keep having a go at him for keeping a secret from you, when you have a secret all of your very own.
Actually I just thought of option three:
Split up, then neither of your secrets will be relevant, nor a problem to the other person.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 January 2013):
 Heh, well that's a creative excuse for being a cheater if I ever heard one!
You snoop through his texts, find out he's doing "dope" (insert any number of recreational drugs including catnip here), and instead of talking to him, confronting him, and breaking up with him, you find a male friend and make out with him.
What's wrong with this picture? Whatever happened to having a talk with your boyfriend and breaking up with him if he refused to change? And even if you thought you needed advice, why not talk to a mother, sister, brother, friend, someone you weren't going to make out with therapeutically?
Your relationship is over with Mr. Dope guy. You just cheated on him, so do the right thing and make it official.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 January 2013):
Whaaaa?
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