A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years but we don't live together. When we first got together, our sex life was amazing and we were having sex every day, which naturally has dwindled over time... however recently, it has become roughly twice a week, he always seems to be tired from work (which is fair enough as he works long hours, 6 days a week sometimes 7 days a week doing physical work - mechanics).However it is starting to become an issue for me. I have tried speaking to him about it but he just says he cant help being tired. The icing on the cake, though, was when I was snooping on his iPad (I know) and saw numerous porn websites on his browser history. What do you think of the situation, should I be worried?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): I'm going to go ahead and disagree with the male anon. First of all, all men do NOT watch porn. Maybe you and all your friends do, but that doesn't speak for all the men in the entire world. Second of all, the ones who do choose to watch it should NOT use it to replace their sex life with their girlfriends/wives.
That said, I don't think your boyfriend is replacing you with it. You're still doing it twice a week, that's not bad. At the end of a long work day, he's just feeling a bit lazy. So he watches porn on those days. As long as he doesn't become obsessed with it, things should be fine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): YES! You should be worried! You guys are way too young to be in this place. I am 46 and my fiance is 48....he is a local delivery driver and has a very physically demanding job and then he works part time at a local store stocking shelves 3 nights a week and on the weekend....we have sex almost every night....my point? He is in good physical condition and because of his age, is dealing with erectile dysfunction as well, but our sex life has not dwindled at all.Your guy needs to get in shape and lay off the porn....the porn is probably becoming a huge problem because he is using that instead of with you. Once in a while being exhausted and having a long day is one thing, but as often as you are saying....no, that is certainly something to be concerned about. He's got time for porn? He's should have time for you. I bet anything, if you asked him to refrain from watching for one straight week and focus on you instead, you would see a big difference in the sex you are having.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): He's a lad, all lads watch porn. Porn has nothing to do with sex its just a quick release and a little bit of fun.
You already know the answer, he's just tired from work.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 January 2013):
 I wouldn't be surprised if he was watching porn throughout your entire relationship, but I'm sure that in this case, the long work hours are indeed tiring him out.
In his case, he may be rubbing one off because sex takes more exertion, time, and energy than simply having a 2 minute jerk to porn.
I don't think you need to worry that he's choosing porn OVER you, because that is never how it works. However, it is interfering with your normal sex life now because he's making a quick choice rather than a good choice. It's like the person who works long hours who gets into the bad habit of driving through McDonals every day to buy those really nasty quarter pounders and fries rather than go home and spending 15-20 minutes cooking a nice delicious and nutritious meal.
It's a bit on the selfish side, but porn requires no emotions, no foreplay, no cuddling afterwards, and such. It's a bad, unhealthy habit when it stops a good love life.
You should talk to him and tell him that the porn is starting to interfere with your sexual intimacy. Trust me, you are the $100 filet mignon, and he just needs reminding that too much snacking on greaseball porn can stunt his penile satisfaction factor!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2013): He probably is just tired as he works long hours and the porn is something that can satisfy him with out too much of a body workout so i wouldn't worry about it but understandly it bothers but does he have to
work so much can he not cut some of his hours. But if not you could do oral sex. Or if he doesn't work really long hours every day it might sound funny but if he could drink some coffee and have a cat nap because this works with giving you a buzz of energy.
Hope this helps.
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