A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my fiancee for 5 yrs.She moved into my apartment 2 years ago.l love her deeply and she means the world to me but am beginning to wonder if my love is not being reciprocated.August 2011,she asked some boy out on facebook,they even arrange a time and place to meet.I spotted the messages on her yahoo when I sent her some attachments for her coursework at University.I was heartbroken but she apologized deeply and cried a lot,so I forgave herJanuary 2012,She asked a different boy out on facebook out but he politely turned her down saying he's got a girlfriendJuly,2012,She got talking to another boy and went a step further this time.She was literally asking for a baby from the boy and that she wanted a family with him.She also said she loves him passionately and wanted to be with him.The boy said he wasn't ready for kids but he also asked for nude pictures.She sent him five pictures altogether.They arranged to meet up and have sex without condoms so she would get pregnant.I didn't she the messages until December but she denied ever meeting the boy.I wouldn't have even seen the messages if I didn't come across her open facebook page by chance and I saw messages to a fourth boy where as was asking the boy to get her pregnant and they even arranged to meet up.So in summary,four boys,sending nude pictures of herself to one of them,asking two of them to get her pregnant and have a family with her.Despite all this she claims She loves me and that all those messages meant nothing because she never met up with any of them,didn't love them,just wanted attention and only wants to have kids with me.I'm devastated,upset,angry,heartbroken and sad.Does she really love me ?Should I break up with her ? How do I ever trust her again ?Does she deserve another chance?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): no she doesn't love you. she's just biding time with you until she manages to get what she really wants (which she was trying to do via all those facebook messages to other guys)
you also have to wonder what else is she doing in secret which you haven't found evidence for?
can you imagine any day you might come home to the news that she's now pregnant with someone else. isn't this possibility, always hanging over your head, reason enough to break up with her immediately regardless of whatever claims she makes.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 she doesn't really love you... she may think she does... she may love YOU to the best of her ability but she's not able enough to have a truly adult mature relationship.
for some people (my ex husband for example) ONE person's love and adoration is NOT enough.
Will you ever trust her... based on my experience NO you won't.
does she deserve another chance... FOUR DIFFERENT BOYS... no she does not... ONE maybe... two... your call three or more... OUT THE DOOR...
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I'm going to quote something from a film called the Holiday with Jack Black about the reason why one would take someone back who has done wrong - " Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you." This is probably why you will take her back. However, she has CONSCIOUSLY and OFTEN gone behind your back. Respect yourself and stop giving yourself more pain. You can be happier with someone else. She obviously doesn't love you, so stop lying to yourself and find someone you deserve.
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A
male
reader, Gmmick +, writes (13 January 2013):
Walk away brother while you still have some sanity
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): She doesn't love you, after all of her actions, HOW can you think if she loves you?I can tell you a simply solution: DUMP HER.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 January 2013):
 Not a lot of people want to admit this, but simply put, some relationships have an expiration date. Yours happens to be one of them. That's the danger of indefinite engagements to be honest.
Your girlfriend is a low down dirty cheater who is now using you and the stability that a 5 year relationship has brought her. She's seeking out other men's attentions, and if she connects with one, she's done with you.
Best to end things and be done with her, because trust me, she does not love you anymore, and I think she doesn't love herself either.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 January 2013):
 Let's go through your questions, one at a time:
"Does she really love me ?Should I break up with her ? How do I ever trust her again ?Does she deserve another chance?"
1. No... never did,
2. Yes, soon,
3. You don't, because you needn't bother. You're breaking up,
4. No..... You'd have to be crazy to go in for another round of disrespect and humiliation. What do you think you should do.... keep giving her "passes" (excuses) until she literally cuts off your penis?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 January 2013):
 No, she does not deserve another chance. She will continue to go behind your back again and again. It sounds like she has some psychological issues as well, asking a stranger for a baby.
I know what you WANT to do is give her another chance and both of you will be convinced it's really different and you will be happy for a few more months and it will happen again. And again. And again. You know it, we know it, she probably even knows it.
It's so hard, I know, to leave someone you love and want so badly to make it work with, but it will never work with you two. You will never trust her and she will continue to break your heart. The hurt you will endure from just ending it now will be less painful than a long drawn out situation of years of pain if you stay.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 Forgive me, but your gf sounds crazy- at least, boy-crazy if not plan, looney bin crazy .
Wanting to get pregnant by a perfect stranger met through Facebook- ANY stranger, basically? Too weird. That nothing happened is not very relevant, it did not happen because they never bothered to show up.
No more chances. In fact, just break up and go look for someone not only more loyal but also less unbalanced.
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