A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i'm 24 years old and just got a job as a history teacher. Over the summer, I met this amazing girl. I met her in a bar so I just assumed that she was over 21 so I never bothered to ask for her age. She's beautiful, smart, funny. The most gorgeous brown curls. And her laugh is just contagious. I was just thinking the whole time, who is this girl? The first day of my new teaching job, everything was going great. Until 5th period came around and I saw that this girl was one of my students. Now, it's January and I haven't even talked about anything with her. It's completely awkward in class now and I just don't know what to do. Should I talk to her about it? Quit my job? Please help.
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female
reader, buzzedluv +, writes (28 January 2013):
 I would say you have to look at it from a long point situation. First off you do not want to jeapordize all you have worked for to obtain your degree and career. She is too young it would not be good. You could lose everything....and in the future if you did decide to pursue this girl..... the maturity differences would be too great. please think with logic. There are alot of beautiful women out there that are not in high school and would have the same interest as you do........good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013): My questions for you are...How old is she? Why are you providing us details about how attractive she is? That said, now that you are in a position of power, being her teacher (even if she is 18) it is unethical. Full Stop. Get her transferred out of your class before she "needs a good grade" and plays on your attraction. Slippery slope.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 If she lies about her age what else does she lie about? Shady man shady. Proceed normally n treat her as one of ur students. If she comes forward n approaches tell her youre not interested. If shes aggressive then approach ur superiors. And stay away from bars man you find good women there generally.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 January 2013):
 I agree with the wait it out advice. It's been so long that I'm fairly sure nothing would happen. If she approaches you or tries anything (which I doubt she will at this point) then you can talk to HR or the school equivalent and explain the situation. Students are occasionally switched from one class to another due to personality differences with teachers.
But really, nothing happened, it's not like you slept with her, it's not like you are currently sleeping with her, nothing happened or will happen, and she's clearly shown that she is mature enough not to try to pursue this with you. Just wait it out. Only a few more months.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): Don't worry about it because its really not something that you should Feel bad about. So what you need to do is carry on as before and when you see her act normal laugh and joke with her this will show her that your not being akward about it but if she starts talking about it let her know that your not going to talk about it. And don't be embarrassed if she's an attractive then its only natural that you see would see it so along as you are professional and set out the lines so to speak then its its fine and she will come in and probably react to how you are acting and if you act confident unnamed then she is likely to aswell. You are working too much about nothing because you didn't break any laws and she shouldn't have been there anyway. And if is definitely not worth throwing your job away over something tiny like that.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): Yes that would be very awkward....but the only person who was someplace that they should not have been was her. She is probably feeling the same if not worse.You are the adult, so you need to be the one to lead the appropriate way on this. You treat her like any other student, under no circumstances are you to ever be alone with her or any other girl. She will be watching you and how you interact with other female students....any of those young girls starts flirting with you, you shut it down immediately and keep it strictly professional, teacher/student at all times. You will run into students at bars again, it's more than likely. If you handle yourself with standards and class in the classroom, you can handle yourself in the same manner personally/socially and you will have nothing to worry about.This will all pass and be forgotten eventually....it will get easier. Focus on being a good teacher and making history fun and exciting :-) And let this be a lesson that what you see is not always what it really is...
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 It was just a mistake..it happens.If she lied about her age then there wasn't much you could do.
Carry on as usual, let your superiors know what happens so it doesn't look like you are being covert or underhanded...the more you panic, the weirder it's going to get.
If the school is supportive they will either move you, or her to a different class. It's not the end of the world.
Under NO circumstances should you talk to her alone!! If you value your career, you need to be a completely open book and own what has happened.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 January 2013):
 I think if you've made it from September to February, I think you can make it until May when she's done with your class. If she talks to you about it, tell her you didn't know she was a student, that you made a mistake, and that it's best for both of you that you keep all communications as teacher/student from now on.
Just deal with the awkward for 5-6 more months, and it'll be over. As a last resort, you could talk to your human resources or your principal or dean in confidence and explain what happened and get their advice. It's possible they could find another school in your district and transfer you if need be.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 January 2013):
 wow, now that's a situation!
first of all, this girl is your student, so under no circumstance should you carry on any type of relationship with her, which i'm sure you already know. and if i were you, i'd continue not mentioning a thing to her at all! i would just try to continue on like nothing happened and like you've never met this girl before. keep teaching, grading, and doing everything else you'd normally do just like she's like everyone else. you certainly don't want to get into any trouble by talking to her about anything. seems like that'd just be asking for trouble.
is this girl even legal? lesson learned - never assume women are of age! ha.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): wow, that's a really tough situation. i feel for you, bro. what a nightmare. if i were you, i'd say absolutely NOTHING to this girl, and do you're very best to continue on with the rest of the school year and act as normal as possible. you cannot and must not act on this, as you very well know. just put it behind you and move on. end of story. good luck.
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