A
female
age
26-29,
*aylar.
writes:What would you do if your significant other always clings on to you and wants to always touch you when you're in public places? It's slightly annoying but if I say anything he'd get upset. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 It sounds like physical touch is one of his 'love languages' but not one of yours. You are going to need to come to some sort of comprimise with him. To him, his behaviour is showing love to you, but to you it's just annoying. The trouble is, we're all wired the way we're wired, and he will probably always enjoy touching and you won't.Hope you can sort something out.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 January 2013):
 Ooh, the other aunts have great points. I thought of something else too.
90% of the time, the overclinginess in public is due to extreme insecurity, and the other 10% of the time is ego, showing you off like someone shows off their Corvette.
I'm guessing if you're getting the extremely clingy vibe, he's definitely in the 90%, because the 10% who "wear" their women like an accesory for status tend to be completely image-oriented themselves.
You have to not be afraid to upset him about how you feel. What if the issue wasn't clinginess. What if he were pressuring you to perform sexual acts that you were uncomfortable with? Would your fear of upsetting him keep you from standing up for yourself?
No, tell him that he needs to be less physical in public, or he'll lose you. Since he's afraid that some other guy will steal his "prize", this will wake him up.
Then when he DOESN'T do that clinginess, shower affection on him and say things like "no other guy will ever compare to you". That hits both his behavior and the CAUSE of it.
If he keeps it up, extricate yourself from his presence. Go home, or head to your next class fast, then in private, explain that he made you feel that way.
If he doesn't get it, or he freaks out on you, you might want to leave him. Remember, you talking to him about how you feel will only strengthen the relationship, or it'll end something that ultimately wasn't healthy for you in the first place.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 January 2013):
 I would start to 'train' him like a puppy dog. No, I don't mean smack his nose: I mean react in a way that deters him from doing the behaviors that bother you.
If he touches you inappropriately in a public place, I would shriek loudly, and then say, "sorry, you startled me." Do this EVERY time he touches you in an inappropriate place or way, and eventually, he will hesitate to touch you.
By the way, do you mean that he is trying to touch you in sexually suggestive ways, or do you mean he is trying to hold your hand?
If he is clinging to you and it's gone on too long, I would start to look bored. Or have some good long sneezing fits. Basically, you want to deter the clinginess, so make yourself too unpleasant to cling to.
How does he get upset?
One thing I will say to girls your age, sorry boys, avert your eyes: it's not the end of the world if he gets upset. You shouldn't feel that you are being held hostage because you are worried he'll 'get upset.'
Can you explain a bit further? Thanks!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 January 2013):
You need to learn sooner rather than later that you can't always spare people's feelings, especially if you're doing nothing wrong. Tell him in a nice way that you aren't a big fan of PDA and it doesn't have anything to do with him, it's just the way you are.
If he gets upset have a short talk with him about needing to respect your feelings and end the discussion there. He may try to say, "you're not respecting MY feelings," and you should just calmy remind him that you aren't forcing him to do anything, but he's trying to force you to do something you aren't comfortable with.
However you approach it, it has to be done. It's a nice small issue that should be easy to figure out, but it's good practice for bigger issues.
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A
female
reader, jadedpearl +, writes (17 January 2013):
 Tell him you appreciate his affection but that it makes you uncomfortable in public. I would just not touch him back and stay perfectly still. He will get the memo.
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