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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with a serious boyfriend about a month ago. I found out he had been lying and doing drugs. It happened so abruptly. There were some concerns, but overall I was happy and didn't see it coming. It was a mutual breakup once I found out who he really was. We broke up over Winter Break. We have had NO contact whatsoever. I have only checked his Facebook. However, we are now both back at our university. I've seen him twice around campus. I guess I have bad luck...We have never made eye contact or been close enough to talk, so I can't have certainty he's even seen me. I feel like I need closure or something since our break up was so out of the blue. I feel like we are strangers now, or that I am a ghost because we are both here but not acknowledging the other. It's such a terrible feeling and I'm struggling alot to move on. I know I should be mad at him for treating me bad and lying, but I really miss him and he looks so sad and stressed whenever I see him. Should I approach him or text him or something? If so, what would I say? I want to be able to move past this...I almost feel as if I don't exist without him. Thanks for the help and not judging. I know this sounds silly, but I have wrestled with what to do.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 I agree with Cindy on this one. You don't need closure. Stop pining for him, because now, that's masochistic. You take this time and mourn the end of the relationship, but you let him go and move on. You did the right thing by breaking up, because a lying drug addict will destroy your life.
Leave him in your past and move forward. Going back to him now would be like a dog puking and then going back to sniff it. Leave it be.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 No. You HAD your closure. You find out that he was not the person you thought he was. You find out that he was telling lies and taking drugs, which are not qualities you want in a boyfriend, ergo he is not your bf anymore. It's rather clear cut. You ARE strangers now.
Nothing prevents you from being civil , and saying " hi " if you see him around somewhere, that's about manners , not closure.
Give yourself your own closure, otherwise you'll only move on at snail speed while you could go so much faster if you only had the guts to BEAR your feelings of longing and regret, and accept that for a while they are a very natural part of breaking up,- without following the impulse to do domething, anything, including silly or pointless things like going talking to him ( about what ?.. you don't even know it yourself ).
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