A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a dilema between two women: the first is my best friend. I've been in love with her since the day we met. About a year ago, I tried to tell her how I felt, but I really couldn't get the words out the way I wanted to, and it ended up with her telling me she wasn't ready for a relationship. But I feel so much more confident now and I really want to try again, especially since I'm about to graduate and I may have to leave the city where my college is. The second woman is one who I met online. She visited the city where I live once and we've talked on and off ever since. She likes me, no doubt about it, and I like her too, but distance makes things harder than they should be. To be quite frank, I do like my long distance friend, but I love my best friend from the bottom of my heart. The problem is, I couldn't even imagine if things couldn't work out between us, I would be devastated. Should I give my heart to a sure thing, or should I roll the dice and try and throw everything at my best friend?
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female
reader, Ck1mia  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 Maybe being in a relationship is the least of ur worries and that you should focus on ur studies... I mean don't you think having two beautiful ladies in ur life is what matters most as ur no un doubtingly must be of a great company for them both... So yes, do what's best for ur interest and just enjoy ur young life. jmo...
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 It does sound like your best friend will probably say no, she most likely knows how you feel so if she wanted to be with you like that she would. Maybe you need some space from her as your feelings seem to be preventing you from moving on and finding someone else
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 February 2013):
 you can try with your best friend, but it doesn't sound promising. i think you're in the friend zone. and once a woman sees you as a friend and only a friend, it's nearly impossible for that to change.also, i think women can have male best friends without it being more. it happens all the time. but i don't think a lot of men can. because for a guy, they won't get close to a girl unless they want more. otherwise, they have guys they can hang out with and be friends with.a lot of my close girl friends talk about all the sweet things their guy friends do for them, and i'm like, "dude, you know he wants in your pants right?" and they're always like, "noooo, he's just a really great guy." well he may be, but in the end, they always come to me upset and tell me that he announced his undying love to them and now they can't be friends anymore. and they're upset because they think the only reason they were ever really so nice to them in the first place was because they had other motives .. which is true. and it hurts them because they thought they had a true friend.the problem with this whole dynamic is that everyone gets hurt in the end. and it sucks.if i were you, i'd probably keep my mouth shut to the best friend and just move on from that. just stay her "best friend." although i have my suspicions that you wouldn't be so close if you didn't, in fact, have all these feelings for her. would you still be so close if you knew you could never have her or if you weren't in love with her? i think you'd probably drop her and hang with your guy friends, i'd imagine.anyway, i would just take some time to be single. i definitely wouldn't jump into a new relationship with some other girl while you're still in love with your friend. that's a recipe for disaster.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 February 2013):
 I don't think you should choose either of them, to be honest.
The first woman turned you down a year ago, and even more important, there's no future if you're about to leave where she is.
The second online woman is also not smart due to the long-distance nature of it, which is about to become the problem with the first woman as well.
You're about to graduate...give it some time, continue to work on your confidence, and find someone new, locally.
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