A
female
age
30-35,
*aribo158
writes:Hi guys, this may sound like a silly problem but it bothers me a lot, Basically while usually I'm a real tough cookie, sometimes small things people do or say bother me far more than they really should, I get really sad and insecure,For example yesterday I was in a shopping mall and some guy promoting a hairdresser's approached me, I was very polite and simply said no thank you rather sheepishly, as I carried on walking he called me a f***ing whore, I felt no need to respond but it put a downer on my entire day, I couldn't stop thinking about it, thinking, is that what ppl see when they see me?! (i was dressed v. conservatively that day-not that anything warrants his behaviour)Is there any words of advice you could give to help me let these stupid occurences do, just forget about them?Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): How rude!. People who work with customers are supposed to ALWAYS be polite with the customers. He should get fired for that!!.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 February 2013):
 It's not a childish problem, things like that upset most people! It would certainly piss me off.
He's got issues if he calls random women names like that. He's the one with a problem, not you.
If I were you, I'd definitely report him to his employers. I wouldn't hesitate. It helps you get it out of your system and teaches him a lesson at the same time.
Most times I've encountered such rudeness I haven't felt comfortable responding because I can feel vulnerable as a woman on my own (and some people are total nutters!) but in this case you can actually do something about it.
Hooray for the entertaining cabbie :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Yep, go to the hairdressers and report his behavior if it's really bothering you. He called you a name because he is a fraction of a man who took out his frustration at not making a sale out on you in an immature and infantile fashion.
What he said was a reflection on HIM, not you. Don't worry about what you were wearing, because his calling you that in response for you not being interested in what he was selling exposes him, not you.
Report him to the hairdresser, because the only way he'll change his immature ways is to be held accountable to them. Remember, besides employee theft, there's no greater crime in customer service than pissing off the customers.
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A
female
reader, haribo158 +, writes (2 February 2013):
haribo158 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the helpful comments -especially that of the positive steps thing-Interesting twist of fate i had the weirdest cab driver of my life make me crack up on my way home from a friends tonight, i guess it's just fate right, throws you s... one min, the next throws you rainbows, Your positive comments are helping me to work on my self esteem and stand up for my own damn self, im not a f.... w...! Thanks for helping with such a childish problem! means a lot
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (2 February 2013):
 As you get older and mature you get a little more confidence in situations like these. I would have done as Cerberus said and either spoken to the manager (you could call the store later if you don't feel comfortable walking in and seeking out management) or find the salon online and send an email stating what happened.
Had this happened when I was 18 I would've said nothing and cried. I think a large part of being so upset is because you did nothing about it and that makes you feel even worse, or that's how I was at least. As I got older I stood up for myself more. Don't think you look like a whore because he said that either, it was his quick go-to insult because he had nothing else to say. It's not like he pointed out anything specific to you to insult so it's actually a compliment, he couldn't find something to pick on about your appearance so he chose some generic insult.
It'll always hurt your feelings when something like this happens. It fades after a couple of days. When you take some action against the bastard who put you down it does help immensely, he shouldn't be allowed to speak to anyone that way in a place of business. And don't think you are the first or last woman he has said this to because a lot of people politely say no thanks to sales pitches. It's no personal attack he is just a jerk.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 February 2013):
You’re not likely to forget something like that for a day or so, don’t give yourself a hard time about that. But the reality is that this man’s behaviour was totally out of line. He wasn’t saying this because that's what he, or anyone else, actually saw in you that day. It was a cheap insult thrown at you for one purpose only, to make you upset. IT has no meaning or significance at all beyond that, what a pitiful excuse of a person he is to have tried to do that. Clearly he has problems and needs a change of attitude. You’re only young, but next time something like that happens, even if it upsets you, just turn and walk away with your head high and look unphased by it, then get upset afterwards. Why? Because you might be acting, but you wear a mask long enough and it becomes a face. If you’re a tough cookie you’ll soon learn to realise what’s a meaningless and pathetic insult, and what is genuinely and knowingly said as an insult that the person really means in full knowledge of how hurtful it is. You’ll realise that the insult of an ignorant hair dresser in a shopping centre who doesn’t even know you should be water off a duck’s back. All comes with experience.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, jdxx +, writes (2 February 2013):
 First off chick get some bottle go to that hair dressers and get him sacked! No one of any description in any way shape or form has the right to speak to you the way that cretin did! Don't take crap lying down hold your head up high and give as good as you get! I also understand your low self esteem holds you back, there is a wonderful organisation called positive steps, they run very small groups for people to build confidence ect designed for people who are going through just the same as you, if you don't have positive steps in your area please approach your gp for advice on suitable groups or 1-1 sessions in your local area x
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 I use to care about what others thought or said wen I was a bit younger. When I hit about 21 I realised that nothing a stranger said or thought could bother me. Really that person is nothing, I don't mean to sound harsh but if he got hit by a bus would u even hear about it? I call these strangers that think they can affect you 'a shit stain' on your day, that's all they are. And remember what goes around comes around, next time the twat will say it to the wrong person and get himself knocked out :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Next time respond by heading on in to the hairdressers he was promoting and making a formal complaint to his boos. Either that or do what I would have done and called him a ignorant little faggot (apologies to anyone who finds my use of that word offensive). I would use that word and I would use with the intention of cutting deep, as deep as he cut you with his sexist remark.
OP you couldn't stop thinking about it because this guy got fuck you over and you did nothing. Next time don't be so timid. The only satisfaction you will get is by punishing the dickhead. Go in and speak to his manager, if he happens to be the manager make up a sign with 'he called me a "fucking whore" because I refused to hear his promotion'.
You know if I were you I'd still go in and make a complaint. If you were the boss there you wouldn't want your employees doing that would you? I'd also find their facebook page and I'd write a sexy little post detailing exactly what happened, I'd also make a nice little post my own wall telling people to stay away, I'd post it on twitter. I'd find their listings on online sites that review local businesses and I'd trash them, get 4-5 of my friends to do the same.
OP never, ever let anyone abuse you like that. You have the tools, the knowhow and ability to make that fuck pay. So take back the power he took from you by fucking up his ignorant little world. Destroy him.
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