A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while ago I went on a few dates with a girl but before anything got started we both realized we weren't each other's types and so broke it off. She's now become romantically involved with a friend of mine - which is absolutely fine by me but it just means that I see her from time to time which originally was a little awkward but now is fine.Anyway, on Friday night my friends and I went out and met up with her and a friend. I found her friend attractive and it didn't take long for us talking and to realize how much in common we had with each other - and she directly said she knew I'd gone on a few dates with her friend which was fine by her. We hit it off pretty quickly and danced a fair bit. Anyway I then realized it might've been a little weird for her friend and so kinda laid off a little, which I now really regret. To cut a long story short we parted ways because I was pretty wasted and got lost.She added me on Facebook hours after I left and I'm just not entirely sure what to do. On one hand there's a weird past and I kinda blew it on the night by slowing it down and then later walking off. But on the other hand I've held myself back from so many opportunities for completely ridiculous reasons which I later regret - and I'm pretty sure this is going to be another one of them. I guess my question is (after all that crap I've written) do I pursue this, talk to her and try and see her again or do I just label it a lost cause and try and forget about it all?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I can't see any reason not to pursue it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Yes, pursue this, you are being over scrupolous, it's not that weird at all, it's not like you were engaged with this new girl's sister or something. You just went on a few dates with her friend, and both agreed you were not right for each other. You ex -date moved on to date your friend, you are fine with that, and your friend is fine with it too, and the girl as well. I think by now the focus is on everybody just being good buddies, and nobody is giving much weight to a few dates that did not lead to anything. No need to feel much more awkwardness than the sitiation warrants.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 February 2013):
 In regards to the girl you're thinking of seeing again, is the "weird past" you're referring to just the way you met her (through dating her friend) or is there something about her past you found about about that she told you about?
You were kinda vague about that, but if you're talking about simply meeting her while dating her friend, the answer is GO FOR IT! You are scared of intimacy and being rejected. So get brave and see where things go with this new girl!
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A
female
reader, BrokenRaindrop +, writes (11 February 2013):
Never label anything a lost cause, if you felt something -not matter how little - it is worth pursuing. You'll never know if you don't try, and sure you wavered slightly but it's a bit of a complicated history isn't it, she'll understand that if she's worth your time :) good luck mate x
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A
male
reader, Gmmick +, writes (11 February 2013):
Go for it! You're young. The first girl has moved on and you accepted it. Seems fair you could do the same.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Indications so far look good, the girl you dated is involved with a friend of yours so there shouldn't be any problems from that direction, approach her and apologise for your walking off last night, make a few jokes, buy a drink, and see what happens.
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