A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need help to all Mothers out there. Do you feel overwhelmed by being a wife And Mom? I feel guilty to even say it aloud but some days I feel like I'm failing. I work full time come home cook, clean, play with my son listen to my husband troubles And then its time for bed And my day has ended with no me time. My husband is very demanding plus my son has learning problems so there is a little extra stress added on. I want to know how to juggle all of this without feeling so stressed And overwhelmed? Please help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): I think sometimes we get lost in the role of wife and/or mother .... what happened to just hannah, jane or emily? I think its important especially if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed is to try to establish some me time. Going to a exercise class, reading a book, some volunteering, a part time job. Something like that. Something that makes you forget you're a wife and mother even if just for a moment. Something just for you. You said your partner is demanding but you did not say how. I think maybe get out a time table to work out when your husband can look after the son on his own, so you can have a break and a little me time. Even if just 30 minutes here or an hour there. When we are at breaking point a little can be alot of help.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 February 2013):
Sometimes life is just that way and there isn't much you can do about it. I have some suggestions to help a little:
If you can afford it hire a maid service, at least part time.
Schedule some alone time (meaning everyone is aware that this is mom time). Go see a movie, go out to dinner with a friend, learn a new skill, etc.
Tell your husband that you feel overwhelmed and you need help. Even little things (picking up after himself) can make a big difference.
Don't neglect your relationship with your husband because you don't have spare time. You're heading down a path toward divorce or lifelong misery if you do. Plus it will help you guys get closer which will encourage him to do things to make you happy.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 February 2013):
 I'm a wife and mom, and my husband and I split chores, work, and responsibilities equally.
You are a full time worker, meaning why are you also doing all of the cooking, cleaning, and being the only one to take care of your son who has learning problems?
You're getting burned out! Take a breath and think about what you really need and don't need to do. If you have some money, you'd be surprised at how much getting a house cleaning service at least every couple of weeks would drop the stress incredibly.
You also need to split chores equitable with your husband. If you both are working full time, you both should be equally taking care of the house, equally cooking, equally cleaning, equally being a team. You're trying to do too much! If your husband is a horrible cook, then he needs to take on another chore like dishes or laundry to balance it out.
Time for you to start being demanding yourself! Drop anything that isn't important! If need be, write up a list of all the chores, including doctor appointments, oil changes, grocery shopping, outdoor and indoor chores, and tell your husband you can't keep up with everything, and that he either needs to take up half or you need to hire out some if you've got some money.
Take a breath! The kids are little only a short time. This won't last forever, and then all of a sudden, these little kids who are so dependent start becoming independent. People get overwhelmed by the little kid stage, and it will get better! I promise! But YOU get demanding! Seriously. Start by demanding some dates from your husband...get a babysitter and get out with the girls or go have a happy hour with him or a nice quiet date. You do not have to do *everything*.
Most of the time, a mom gets overwhelmed because she's doing everything, yet is trying to be so much of a perfectionist that she refuses to let her husband or anyone else do anything because she thinks they won't do it right. Don't let yourself fall into that! Get your husband to step up and take his fair share of the burden!
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