A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed and that we need to take a break. He said he still loves me and one day wants to continue our relationship, but I don't know. What should I do? What does he mean by take a break?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 He's done with you. Even as adults "a break" is usually the precursor to a break up....
Here's the key to knowing what to do,
you accept the break (and assume it's a breakup and get on with your life)
IF he comes back to you and says he wants to have sex with you but not make you his girlfriend again, you run in the other direction and say NO to him.
NEVER accept FWB or mistreatment.
And Serpico is right....
remember this old saying:
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place
men will say anything to get you to have sex with them... it does not mean they are truthful about it.
DO NOT think that sex will make a boy care more about you. IT won't.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 February 2013):
At your age, please remember this for the rest of your life - for men, sex DOES NOT equal love. Not even close.
Proceed accordingly.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 It means that the excitement of the novelty wore off, and now he is breaking up with you... without TOTALLY nreaking up. He finds convenient to put you on hold, so he can get you back when he feels really hormonal, or if he does not find another girl soon, and can say the break is over. But then, pretty soon he'd declare another break, and so on and so forth.
Bypass the whole infuriating and humiliating ordeal, and colour him gone now. Most of all, learn from this experience : no, in just two months you can't be sure you love somebody and / or that they love you back. And, you can't be sure that really mean they'll stick around. So, anything you do with them, sexually and otherwise, it's at your own risk and peril.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (11 February 2013):
 unfortunately he's breaking up with you. i know you don't want to hear that, and i'm really sorry. but i would be surprised if he got back together with you.
i'm sorry, sweetie. i know it's not easy but i promise you'll be okay and find someone else in no time!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Oh man, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's tough when you lose your virginity because your bonding chemicals are off the scale when it comes to your first guy. It's important to stay clear-minded and not freak out because this guy is flaking on you. He is actually breaking up with you...you were a conquest, and he got what he wanted and didn't want to deal with the relationship actually becoming serious.
One thing you must always be ultra wary about is that he's telling you "I love you" within 2 months of starting to date. By breaking out the L word that early, it's used to get into your pants. You have no idea how many girls, having been used, say a variation of "I thought he loved me" or "he said he was in love with me".
Assume "take a break" means "break up" and get rid of him. You have now joined the vast majority of people, men and women, who have done something in a relationship they regret. Don't obsess over this guy (I know it'll be hard -- these chemicals and hormones are off the scale) because he's not worth it.
You are now wiser, so try not to get cynical or distrustful of all guys. But you're now better equipped to shut down the users and losers who want to get in your pants and flake out. This lesson sucks....but you will get stronger and wiser.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Just because you succumbed and gave your virginity to this ungrateful guy does not mean you need to replicate that experience with the next guy.
Next time you meet a nice guy hold off on even kissing at first Ia guy cannot wait for a kiss until you know him better than he is not worth the trouble.
If a guy agitates and pushes for sex before you have really got to enjoy his company, learned about his hopes and dreasm then he is not worth the trouble.
This guy IS breaking up with you and it is not fair when you were so loving and giving and generous.
This is very tough on you. Get some counselling to help you throught this bump in the road to love.
This guy has opened your eyes and allowed you to see that there are nicer guys out there who will treat you better than that guy.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 February 2013):
 What he REALLY means is: "I got you to put out.... so, now I'm done with you..."
Yes.... he IS breaking up with you. You will be wise to avoid such guys in the future.....
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Some people need a break from each other when they have been with each other for too long but you have only been dating for two and a half months he's already had enough. It looks like he will do this every few months. Do you spend too much time together and he feels guilty asking for space? When people are in love they are practically inseparable. Some guys feel smothered and need alone time however he doesn't need to make it so dramatic that it sounds like a break up. When people are secure in a relationship they freely give and take space. It's not something that requires a break up. You mentioned losing virginity to him. I don't think this guy is just interested in taking your virginity then leaves. Sex is an emotional bonding experience for men too. Maybe the feelings stirred up in him scared him a but and as a boy he didn't know how to express it, or has no one to turn to.
I am naturally a trusting person so I am thinking he got overwhelmed by his own feelings and needs to cool off. It's not something you did that pushed him away. Some guys get freaked out that when they want space they assume the relationship is in trouble. When in fact time apart can be a good thing sometimes. It's a time to focus on yourself so you don't lose yourself in the relationship. So stop obsessing about what he says and take time to cool off yourself too.
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