What can I do? I love her. But got a little boring and repetitive in the bedroom. Yet she refuses to try anything I suggest.
Q. Hi My problem is this, I have been dating my girlfriend now for 4 years in February and things have got a little boring and repetitive for me in the bedroom and without sounding like I'm blaming, it is her. All she wants to do is run the same old...
A. 26 January 2014: She's got some intimacy issues if she's wanting her clothes on all the time during sex. It's one thing (and really REALLY sexy) to have a quickie, throw your partner up against the wall or bed, and start going to town without taking off most of ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being too friendly with her? He says he doesn't want to be mean to her
Q. About a week ago my boyfriend met a girl through some mutual friends. My boyfriend says this girl flirted with him like crazy as soon as she was introduced to him and even told my boyfriend that he seemed like an amazing guy and that she really ...
A. 26 January 2014: I think "pissed off" would be a more fitting emotion than "worried". Here's why I say this:
1. He outright said that she was flirting with him, has told him she really likes him, and she's blowing up his phone.
2. He loves the ego boost of her... (read in full...)
If I make him dinner do I have to include meat?
Q. This is really, I guess, a question about etiquette. I am a vegetarian and the guy that I am seeing is not. He's been doing a lot for me lately and I want to try and return the favor, so I said I would cook him dinner one night soon. My issue is, if ...
A. 25 January 2014: You don't have to include meat as long as the main dish is filling. Eggplant casserole, beet soup, a good baked potato with nutritional yeast or a butter substitute (if you also don't eat butter), green beans with shaved almonds, any number of ... (read in full...)
Can't sleep after giving up medication. Please help?
Q. I really need some help. For those of you who do not know last year in the summer I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Its a really difficult illness to live with and I can't say a day ...
A. 24 January 2014: I agree with CaringGuy - you know that with medication therapy for issues like bipolar disorder, establishing something that works is still a matter of trial and error. Finding the right stuff, then finding the right doses at the right times takes ... (read in full...)
My wife of 31 years is no longer interested in sex!
Q. I really need to know what to do when my wife of 37 yrs. say she is not interested in sex anymore.I am 57 yrs and she is 51yrs....
A. 23 January 2014: I concur with Eyeswideopen. In the absence of any deep-seeded marital issues, this is a menopause thing. Hormone replacement therapy works wonders as well as any therapy for any possible other hormonal imbalance.
Don't despair! There is only ... (read in full...)
How long is it reasonable for him to keep his profile up on the dating site?
Q. I met this guy on an online dating site. We have hit it off very well. We talk on the phone everyday and make time to hangout with each other once or twice week because of our busy schedules. He's talked about inviting to his baseball games a...
A. 23 January 2014: If you two are sexually active, then it's reasonable to ask him to pull it. If you two are exclusive and he's calling you "girlfriend", then it's reasonable to pull it.
If you're not yet sexually active, then don't become so without a specific... (read in full...)
He bailed on me.. so what's up with him?
Q. Okay, my boyfriend, ex I should say, broke it off with me "unofficially" by disappearing 2 weeks ago. He told me he loved me by text, had nothing to offer, blah blah blah and then disappeared. The last thing he ever said to me was "I love you...". ...
A. 23 January 2014: You said he was in a bad financial situation and had lost his job 2 weeks ago?? I'd be willing to believe that he went through a financial crisis that he couldn't bear to have you see, like a foreclosure, eviction, or repossession. He could have, ... (read in full...)
Fed up of my boyfriend's friend flirting with him!
Q. Hey everyone I have a question. Well, me and my boyfriend have a mutual friend who is a girl. She's known my boyfriend before him and I even got together, and she is more his friend than mine. I don't know her that well, but have talked to her an...
A. 23 January 2014: Actually, I think you're okay and don't have anything to worry about! I say this because of what you say here:
"My boyfriend isn't the cheating type at all, but he does talk to her often and doesn't seem to notice the flirting."
That bodes we... (read in full...)
Her training to fight makes me feel insecure.
Q. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I adore. Our courtship lasted a bit long but we didn't want to get into a relationship just after a few weeks of admitting we liked each other. After a little over a year, we became happily official. T...
A. 22 January 2014: Ahh geeze, OP. That's different than the title here. In your case, I totally understand. If she's MMA training and now talking like this, I'm guessing it's rubbing off from the company she's keeping, similar to the military's colorful language ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps saying he'll propose any day now but never does
Q. My boyfriend said he wants to marry me about 3 months ago. I told him I felt the same way. Two months ago he said we should start looking at rings. So we did. We went engagement ring shopping several times, with the understanding that no purchases ...
A. 22 January 2014: You haven't even been together a year?!??! That's what I thought. You are in some serious hot water. This guy is a scam artist. There's some reason he's smoke screening you about this whole ring business and the elaborate lies.
Somet... (read in full...)
I caught the man in lies and he finally came clean. No contact for 3 days--should I reach out to him?
Q. Ok so I started talking to this guy, who I met online, 8 months ago. We live two states away from each other and started developing this amazing emotional connection. We did eventually meet and the connection was even stronger. About three months i...
A. 22 January 2014: Most people who fall into financial issues don't solve them by inviting an ex back into the house. You are not in any shape to be getting into a new relationship. Did you even tell the guy you're still in contact with your ex before he moved back ... (read in full...)
Her training to fight makes me feel insecure.
Q. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I adore. Our courtship lasted a bit long but we didn't want to get into a relationship just after a few weeks of admitting we liked each other. After a little over a year, we became happily official. T...
A. 22 January 2014: From personal experience, I can tell you that training is about so much more than fighting and sparring. It builds stamina, mental and emotional discipline, strength of intellect and body, and a strong sense of focus. When you're training, all of ... (read in full...)
I'd like to learn to not care what people think
Q. Hiii !!! Okay this is my situation right now : I go to an all girls school so I have no idea how to speak or act around boys. I constantly feel as if I'm being observed and whenever I just walk past a guy I get really nervous and my knees go w...
A. 22 January 2014: Well, in the short term, if you walk past a guy, pretend it's 10 degrees below zero and he's naked right down to his pink polka dot thong. It's a public speaking trick that reduces anxiety.
But seriously, consider the truth - most guys are more... (read in full...)
A crush slept with me and used me as a rebound after breaking up with his girlfriend!
Q. So I did a stupid thing the other night and slept with an old co-worker of mine. We stopped working together June 2013 and had talked/hung out very little since then. Well last Sunday night he text me to go out to a bar we use to hang out at. I ...
A. 22 January 2014: Just to clarify - being a drunk doesn't make him garbage. Being a user of women WHILE drunk (and not drunk) makes him garbage... (read in full...)
A crush slept with me and used me as a rebound after breaking up with his girlfriend!
Q. So I did a stupid thing the other night and slept with an old co-worker of mine. We stopped working together June 2013 and had talked/hung out very little since then. Well last Sunday night he text me to go out to a bar we use to hang out at. I ...
A. 22 January 2014: Is this guy a drunk? He gets wasted in Atlantic City, gets wasted on your one night stand, and goes out with you while he was dating her? I think your infatuation blinded you from the fact that this guy is an asshole and your boyfriend's ex dumped ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is financially irresponsible
Q. My gf has serious personal finance problems. Even though she makes more than enough to pay her expenses and save, she consistently spends her entire paycheck and sometimes overspends it. She's open to discussion and is often willing to cutback ...
A. 22 January 2014: Under absolutely no uncertain terms should you even come CLOSE to getting involved with either her finances or helping her manage your finances. There must be space between you and her financial affairs at all times unless you marry her. No joint ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps saying he'll propose any day now but never does
Q. My boyfriend said he wants to marry me about 3 months ago. I told him I felt the same way. Two months ago he said we should start looking at rings. So we did. We went engagement ring shopping several times, with the understanding that no purchases ...
A. 22 January 2014: How long have you two been together? You never mentioned it in your question.
Something's off here. Not just in a "he's a stupid liar" way, but a "he's a con artist" way and maybe in a "your post is a troll post" way. How could you be smart en... (read in full...)
He's so rigid that he won't accommodate things I want to do
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years and I am having a few issues with the way he acts towards the things I like. Basically, we are very different and have totally different tastes. Mine are quite varied, whereas he likes...
A. 21 January 2014: It won't get any better. Trust me. After 5 years of being together, he has no reason to be interested in you or your interests, and the death knell of your relationship isn't just the fact that he isn't the least bit adventurous or open-minded, ... (read in full...)
Tired of my boyfriend's crap!
Q. Not sure where else to post this but hoping for some advice. My boyfriend, who is 34, and I have been living together for 3 years and I have asked him to clean up after himself in the bathroom many times. Specifically, he sits on the toilet in su...
A. 20 January 2014: How the hell is that even possible unless he's like morbidly uber-obese?? Unless he never wipes at all and the old smegma is crawling up the back of his....EWWWW. I couldn't have sex with a guy who does that! Not even installing automatic toilet ... (read in full...)
Venting to my friends leaves trouble behind
Q. I've recently noticed that I tend to cause unnecessary drama in my relationships and I don't know how to fix it. When I'm in a relationship and we argue or bicker about simple mundane things I tend to go around and tell my friends what happens. By ...
A. 20 January 2014: I never vented to my friends about petty fights between my boyfriend/husband. I don't vent to my family about it either because it hinders resolutions between us. Not only that, but as the other aunts have said, it's bringing your side to things, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend storms out after an argument instead of talking it through
Q. I don't know what to do. When my girlfriend and I fight, she stays so mad for so long, and I don't know how to deal with it. We had a fight last night that somehow caused her to drive off mad. We didn't speak for 24 hours, til I called her tonig...
A. 19 January 2014: She has really serious issues. She is toxic, not to mention destructive. She could have killed someone, driving off all pissed like that while she's wasted drunk! Therapy must not be working if she has to get drunk off her ass, become reckless ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend storms out after an argument instead of talking it through
Q. I don't know what to do. When my girlfriend and I fight, she stays so mad for so long, and I don't know how to deal with it. We had a fight last night that somehow caused her to drive off mad. We didn't speak for 24 hours, til I called her tonig...
A. 19 January 2014: Actually, I think it's crap what she is doing. You didn't mention what you two were fighting over, but I'm guessing it was petty like 99.9% of fights are. Unless it was a serious subject like cheating or sex or a big breach of trust, fights should ... (read in full...)
Should I Break Up With Him for Seeming Distracted? Why Doesn't He Make Me Feel Special Anymore?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. Since about October last year, I feel like he's not been as soppy and stuff and it makes me feel as if he's losing interest. I told him how I felt, he made a valid point by saying that I should ...
A. 19 January 2014: So this is about this other girl, right? Before she was in the picture, were you feeling the whole distracted making you feel special thing?
If this guy and this girl don't have a past sexual or romantic history together, it's quite possible... (read in full...)
After 4 years our relationship is not progressing and I'm not sure its worth it!
Q. Hi cupids! I'm looking for some advice please. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and we've been having a few issues with the fact we barely see each other. It's a maximum of twice a week and only ever for an hour or two at a ...
A. 19 January 2014: I think you should tell him what's really wrong with the relationship and not focus on time spent and schedules and all that. He thinks you're being petty because you're deflecting the real issue onto the symptoms of the issue. Trying to teach him ... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but tells me her relationship is falling apart! Should I make a move?
Q. Hi! A year ago I posted here with regards to the break-up from hell. Well, I can safely say 12 months later that's all in the past Moved on with my life and it's all going well. So there's this new girl. Problem is... she has a boyfriend. Yep, ...
A. 18 January 2014: A cheater's words are worthless. She is going behind the back of a boyfriend she claims to love, cuddling up and hand feeding another man while making come-ons to him. You pay very good attention to this, because if you're wanting to be her ... (read in full...)
I lent my online bf money for the trip to meet me...am I being used?
Q. I've been in an on-line relationship for 2 months. My bf and I decided to meet, so we went ahead and made plans. But a few days before he realised he doesn't have enough money for the trip. I have agreed to lend him but I keep wondering if I am ...
A. 18 January 2014: The other aunts have been wonderful with their advice, and I agree that not only are you being used, but this is a big red flag in terms of whether or not he is relationship material.
I want to point out that you can't legally enforce a loan lik... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the poop streaks he leaves on the bed!
Q. This is a gross question but I really need advice. Sorry to be graphic. Basically Ive been seeing this guy for 3 months and on 3 occasions when he has stayed over at mine he has left poop streaks in my bed. He did it lastnight and I felt sick. He is ...
A. 18 January 2014: Holy cats - I didn't see that last line! How are you wiping yourself with no TP??? Gross! It's not expensive!
I take it back - if he's staying with you and there's no TP, you might be made for each other. :|... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the poop streaks he leaves on the bed!
Q. This is a gross question but I really need advice. Sorry to be graphic. Basically Ive been seeing this guy for 3 months and on 3 occasions when he has stayed over at mine he has left poop streaks in my bed. He did it lastnight and I felt sick. He is ...
A. 17 January 2014: Well, I'd personally have to leave him as I am immunocompromised and at 34, hygiene is pretty much set in a guy's ways by then.
Your nose *must* have said something to you beforehand, didn't it, If he was getting naked and fluids were flying? ... (read in full...)
What is your opinion of what truly caused us to break up? Is our age difference possibly related? Any tips for moving on from this?
Q. My (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago after being together for about a year. I am 18 and he is 16 and we're in high school. I wasn't expecting it at the time but now when I think back, all the signs were there about a week before the ...
A. 17 January 2014: Don't feel bad! Immaturity caused the breakup as well as teenage adolescent status of both of you. However, let me point out something that might not have occurred to you:
You said this: "He says being with me "changed him" but now he is "beco... (read in full...)
I've been advised to get a mortgage on my own, and I feel guilty for in essence changing my mind about putting him on the mortgage!
Q. Hi I could do with some advice please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years but we recently broke up and got back together. The reason for this break was because he has 2 kids from a previous relationship who I love to bits,...
A. 15 January 2014: That guy's got more baggage than the cargo hold of a passenger jet!
But there's more than just baggage - there are habits I doubt you consider compatible with your life's direction.
Let's list such baggage:
1. An ex who causes trouble (she ... (read in full...)
Do you say goodnight to each other or do you sometimes forget?
Q. My fiancé got upset that I didn't say goodnight to him. He wanted me to work on my project which I did late into the night. He was still up and in another area of the house when I decided I was really tired and I went to bed. He woke me up and s...
A. 15 January 2014: My first thought is that something else is behind his actions, because his response to your not saying "good night" is the equivalent to killing a fly with a grenade.
We say goodnight to each other, but there is sometimes when we don't. Neither ... (read in full...)
He ran away without even listening to me
Q. [Moderator note: Here is a link to this OP's previously submitted question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-announced-he-wanted-a-month-apart.html] My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me over 2 months ago and I can...
A. 14 January 2014: I agree with Honeypie. Your family who gave the money should definitely contact a solicitor. I saw plenty of cases where lawyers demonstrated that such gifts are "conditional" dependent on events in the future and ordered the money or property ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was great, and now he needs space?
Q. I am So Confused..... My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years we have a 12 year age difference I am older. but we clicked since the moment we met. we are best friends, the sex is amazing and we have always said we love each other no ...
A. 14 January 2014: So you were 30 when you met him, and he was 18?
He's 21 now and wants to live his free single days. It could be a result of what friends told him or his wish to enjoy his youth untied down.
He's a young guy facing college, the start of adu... (read in full...)
The ex doesn't like my boyfriend spending time with our daughter
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I am 21, and I share a 2 year old daughter with my ex boyfriend. When we were together he constantly cheated on, but he always managed to convince me that whoever had told me was lying. It wasn't until I found text messages ...
A. 14 January 2014: Stop trying to arrange meetings between your boyfriend and your ex-boyfriend. That's unnecessary, and if you have primary custody of your daughter, he can't use her as a weapon to attack you for moving on with a new guy.
The only thing I'd say ... (read in full...)
I want to satisfy all his needs but not with a threesome!
Q. Ok so i know this is a probably a typical silly question to ask but i want to know your opinions on having a threesome based in a relationship!! Small bit of background Im with my partner just over 6 months now we are both similar people and even ...
A. 14 January 2014: Fantasies and "needs" are not the same thing. A fantasy is a fantasy, and if it's not met, that doesn't mean that needs aren't met. Almost every couple has fantasies that they know won't be indulged within the relationship, like rough sex with a ... (read in full...)
Missing condoms have raised my suspicions
Q. Dating a great man for about one year and he is not ready to commit. He has been divorced for 5 years and is not ready for a serious relationship ( I know I know I'm stupid for staying loyal to him ) He is 34 and I am 31 I went to his house on Sat...
A. 14 January 2014: There's only one reason and one reason only why a guy doesn't want a girlfriend or a relationship. Only one.
Casual sex. Everything else he says is a lie.
Remember that - FWB is all about casual sex.
Not wanting a relationship is all abou... (read in full...)
My weight gain has put him off sex!
Q. Hi, I've been seeing my bf for the last 3.5 years, but our sex life has been non existent for the last 2.5 years. I have had lots of reasons why which I always doubted but because we do love each other and get along so well that I accepted that we ...
A. 14 January 2014: I don't buy his excuses. I could see it if you gained 40+ pounds, but I did the math, and you gained 18 pounds?? That's more Rubinesque than bulk. A woman could gain 10 pounds in water weight at certain times of the month.
If he's the same age... (read in full...)
Stumbled across a message of my fiance questioning whether or not she should marry me!
Q. Hello agony aunts! I need some help with my fiancé and our upcoming marriage. This morning when I was getting ready or work I noticed her phone light up because she received a message I glanced at it and saw that it was her close friend who had ...
A. 13 January 2014: What's happening is that you snooped on her. Bad idea and that breaks trust. Women talk and vent with their friends. When we get stressed, most of us talk it out. Does she want to marry you? Sure. But we talk out our nervousness. I did with ... (read in full...)
Missing condoms have raised my suspicions
Q. Dating a great man for about one year and he is not ready to commit. He has been divorced for 5 years and is not ready for a serious relationship ( I know I know I'm stupid for staying loyal to him ) He is 34 and I am 31 I went to his house on Sat...
A. 13 January 2014: If you're not in a relationship and not his girlfriend, how exactly is he cheating on you?? He isn't. A FWB is a no-strings-attached affair meaning he and you can sleep with 1,000 other people and it isn't cheating. The fact that you're upset ... (read in full...)
His comment about the other girl really has me doubting myself
Q. Why do I feel this way? I'm I overreacting? So my boyfriend is on holiday and he's staying with his friend and he has a female roomate. We were talking and I asked how the girl is. He said they get on really well. They went shopping toget...
A. 13 January 2014: First of all, you are taking synthroid, right? If you have thyroid issues, you're taking the thyroid supplement to raise metabolism?
Second of all, you should go see a dietitian to assess your metabolism and get help choosing a menu to crank it... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my boyfriends friendship with his ex?
Q. What's the best way to deal with my boyfriend still being friends with his ex? How can I stop worrying and being jealous? My boyfriend of 7 months is still friends with his ex from over a year ago. They talk often on skype and texting, and ...
A. 13 January 2014: You can stay, or you can leave. That's your choice. Ultimatums rarely work, and this level of baggage is not for everyone in a relationship.
I personally would leave. When I leave a relationship, I end it all the way. I know there are issues l... (read in full...)
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