Boyfriend cheated on me years ago and my parents worry about my future with him
Q. I'm 24 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Our relationship was great until I knew he lied and cheat from me several times. That's about 2 years ago and since then I'm become a negative person and always worrying too much. However, I kno...
A. 26 December 2013: There are two things in play here:
1. Your past. He cheated on you several times. It would be one thing if it were once or one woman that got out of hand, and he felt such horrific remorse that every action he took since then was to the betterin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated on me years ago and my parents worry about my future with him
Q. I'm 24 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Our relationship was great until I knew he lied and cheat from me several times. That's about 2 years ago and since then I'm become a negative person and always worrying too much. However, I kno...
A. 26 December 2013: There are two things in play here:
1. Your past. He cheated on you several times. It would be one thing if it were once or one woman that got out of hand, and he felt such horrific remorse that every action he took since then was to the betterin... (read in full...)
I'd like our relationship to be more focussed on respect
Q. Hey I'm in need of some advice. I'm in a relationship with someone of 22 and I'm 17, the age gap isn't the issue. I feel like a sexual object sometimes and its really concerning me. We haven't been officially together for much over a month and are ...
A. 26 December 2013: Honeypie hit it right on the head.
You have to stand up for yourself - he's claiming you as property. Sitting with blouse undone while watching a movie so he can fondle you at will to get off?? That would be like demanding that he put you on h... (read in full...)
I can't get over my wife's sordid sexual past
Q. I am dealing with some issues with my wife's sexual past, I dont know how many she was with but I know it was between 15 and 25. She lied about being with my friend when I asked her about a month after we started dating. She later told me they were ...
A. 25 December 2013: I usually take issue in retroactive jealousy cases like yours, but you were lied to in regards to your friend. I have sympathy for guys who suffer RJ when they were lied to in regards to sexual past. Misrepresentation is not cool. It's better to ... (read in full...)
No one's asked to be exclusive, so ...
Q. This question is for people who are okay with premarital sex: I am single and in college. I am sort of seeing two guys. I have had sex with both of them and have gone on lunch dates and have even stayed over at their houses as well as just "hanging ...
A. 25 December 2013: Are you serious??? How would you feel if you started dating a guy and started falling for him? He did't tell you that at the same time he was sleeping with you, he was sleeping with someone else? You'd be crushed, and if he had decided later that ... (read in full...)
Money is tight so eating healthy food hasn't been happening
Q. I know this isn't exactly a love or relationship question, but I really respect the answers and opinions of the people here and would love some input. My father is drastically overweight. It is affecting his health and quality of living. He has b...
A. 23 December 2013: I couldn't agree more with the others - healthy food isn't more expensive than unhealthy food. The real issue is time and work. The anon poster is so right - For example, one pass for 3 through the drive-thru at McGreasy's could run about $21 ... (read in full...)
How do I inform my friends and family that I'm now a vegan?
Q. Basically I converted to veganism 2 months ago because i nolonger want to contribute to the violence towards animals, with the bonus of improving my health and being one step closer to saving the planet. Now i've keep this a secret from ever...
A. 23 December 2013: The only way I wouldn't want to be informed that a friend of mine has become a vegan is on the day I invited him or her over and made a huge meal. Otherwise, I wouldn't care! What someone else eats is their own business, and as I like different ... (read in full...)
His ex wife wants him back!
Q. Well hello I really need some help... I been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he has two kids with his ex wife... Things have been great with us and he has been there for me through everything... I love his children too... The day w...
A. 22 December 2013: That's disgusting. He's cheating on you, and the fact that it's with his ex is irrelevant. Just because she has a history with him doesn't mean that he has the right to treat you like this.
I'd make the decision myself and kick him to the curb... (read in full...)
We have a secret friendship.
Q. A long time ago I briefly met a guy at the end of a festival. He lives on the other side of the country. We exchanged numbers and ended up talking online for almost a year. We both were in relationships when we met and I still am though he is single ...
A. 22 December 2013: I suggest you stop cheating on your boyfriend! You're in a relationship, and carrying on some secret attraction/friendship behind his back is outrageous. Wanting to meet up and hang out in secret? It's no secret except to the one you'll hurt, ... (read in full...)
He said he would have to think about whether he was serious about a relationship at all, now I'm confused about how to handle this!
Q. I met this guy online, we dated for for about 3 mos...and he honored my request to take it slow.. cos i really liked him and he likes me too.We would talk for hours..have intimate conversations and made out few times.He asked me if I would get ...
A. 21 December 2013: I agree with Honeypie, and I think he's actually trying to take the relationship sexual using the relationship decision as a "carrot". He knows you're not in for sex, then running.
He would know by now if he was interested in a relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is afraid of getting me pregnant so he wont have sex with me, what to do?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for four months now, and he barely has sex with me anymore, nowadays most of the time when we're having sex it starts with me practically raping him. I had a fear of getting pregnant, but when I found my ...
A. 20 December 2013: Two words: Depro-Provera.
You want to assuage fears? Have your boyfriend go with you to the doctor to get this simple shot (after making sure you have no medical issues that would make this not be a good idea). No pills, no worrying, one shot... (read in full...)
Has anyone used a 'safe' option to reclaim self-esteem and then dumped 'safe' for 'hot'?
Q. Hello, Have any of you ladies on here suffered with some depression, low self esteem and insecurities to the point that while seeing a hot man, you can't enjoy it for the endless worrying that he will dump you for someone better? So, you end up d...
A. 20 December 2013: Not in a million years would I ever do a thing like that.
It would be against everything within me to ever use someone like that to prop myself up. Anyone I've ever dated was because I was interested in them. I don't play games with people's... (read in full...)
Still sleeping with my ex but don't feel guilty for sleeping with others as well
Q. Hi- I'm currently single, but i'm still sleeping with and hanging out with my ex-boyfriend. We act very much as a couple, and still say I love you to each other, but we ended the relationship for good reasons, hence we are hesitant about rushing ...
A. 19 December 2013: You should cut off contact with your ex. You don't have to feel bad for sleeping with others, because you are single. However, staying in contact with your ex, sleeping with him, and nursing feelings of love for him is unhealthy, and you're just ... (read in full...)
He says his use of gay sex sites is an addiction
Q. I'm engaged to this really wonderful man. We've been in a relationship for 2 years and counting. We hit off really well as a couple and have had really good times together. The problem started when I discovered that he had online sex chats with ...
A. 19 December 2013: One more thing - you are in India, right?
Homosexuality is a much more taboo issue there than here. I wouldn't be surprised if he were gay and using his relationship with you as a cover. He may be afraid to fully express his homosexu... (read in full...)
He says his use of gay sex sites is an addiction
Q. I'm engaged to this really wonderful man. We've been in a relationship for 2 years and counting. We hit off really well as a couple and have had really good times together. The problem started when I discovered that he had online sex chats with ...
A. 19 December 2013: This is a *LOT* more simple than it seems.
Just replace "other men" with "other women" and see if he can illicit this sympathy from you.
Like the others have said, he's sending pictures of his genitals to other people. Had it been other women... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, once. Yet I can't picture my life without him. What do I do about my guilt?
Q. I'm about to get married to my bf of 5 years I do love him very much and I am very happy that we are going to get married, but I am having second doubts about getting married, because I am guilty of cheating on him once in the past, while we were ...
A. 19 December 2013: If you don't plan to tell him, then your feelings of guilt are worthless. If the situation was reversed, would you want to know that while you two were having a rough patch, that he cheated on you?
You don't know that you'll never do it again... (read in full...)
Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home?
Q. Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum ...
A. 19 December 2013: Growing up, we always took off our shoes and asked all guests to do so too. My mom is an absolute clean freak, and usually our carpet was new. Like Honeypie, we had a shoe rack as well for guests and ourselves. Nobody had any problems with it as ... (read in full...)
How do I diplomatically bring up the issue of her lying?
Q. hello. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my lying girlfriend? we've been together for over a year now and she's never been the lying type, but i've got some proof that recently, she's been lying to me about something (not too major)....
A. 19 December 2013: THAT is the lie??? You didn't consider that her computer automatically installed an update and then restarted like many computers automatically do at around 3am or so? That happens. I've seen it happen when a computer updates and it shows a ... (read in full...)
Marriage being damaged by wife's male friend who has now stayed for more than 2 months
Q. I have been married for 2 years, I am 41 and my wife is 30. We have always been amazing together, and I thought we were happy. We recently started trying for kids, which was her idea, as I was never going to push her until she was ready. She has ...
A. 17 December 2013: OH this is not good. There is either something going on between her and this guy, or HE wants something going on between those two, because he's pushing you out, and you need to push back NOW.
He's taking advantage of you. She's allowing... (read in full...)
How do I diplomatically bring up the issue of her lying?
Q. hello. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my lying girlfriend? we've been together for over a year now and she's never been the lying type, but i've got some proof that recently, she's been lying to me about something (not too major)....
A. 17 December 2013: What is the lie, and what is your proof? Also, how did you get it?
The only way to call someone on a lie definitively is to present the proof. Proof isn't "My friend said that they saw you", proof is a receipt, you seeing them somewher... (read in full...)
Given his history is it unreasonable to tell him not to go to the stag party?
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend of 19 months is best man at his best friend's wedding next year . I said he shouldn't go on his stag doo because on past ones my boyfriend went on he went with three different prostitutes when they all went...
A. 17 December 2013: He's the best man - he's usually the one setting up and THROWING the stag party. To not attend, much less line up the fun, and you might as well ask him to gravely insult his friend and his friend's big day.
He saw prostitutes when you weren't ... (read in full...)
Why do men send photos of their genitals to women they barely know?
Q. Okay, inquiring minds must know. This appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, but in all seriousness, why do men send pics of their penises to women? I'm not talking about if you're in a committed relationship or if the girl ASKS for it. I'm...
A. 17 December 2013: Hell, they do it when you're married to 'em too! Getting up in the morning, getting ready for work, and my brain isn't in gear all the way. I get out of the shower, dry off, and get my clothes on as fast as possible.
Husband gets out of the show... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: This is the conversation I would have with him if he were my boyfriend and he waited over a year to tell me that his friend was someone he's had sex with:
"I know you've been friends with her and that you had a sexual relationship with her in t... (read in full...)
Is this creepy or flattering?
Q. Hey, everyone. So, I'm having a problem with this guy that I just met. He's a very sweet guy, but sometimes the things he says are just plain overboard! I gave him my number and we started talking. But, he came right out and said that he liked me...
A. 16 December 2013: First of all, honestly, if you just broke up with your boyfriend (and he thinks you're NOT broken up, but on a "break"), you shouldn't be exchanging numbers and just starting the beginnings of a new relationship with someone else if you're not over ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: I think you're looking at this the wrong way. It's not about telling him what to do or giving him an ultimatum. It's about what YOU will live with, and what YOUR actions will be based on his actions. You have to decide for yourself whether or not ... (read in full...)
Friend acted out and hasn't apologized. Should I get her a Christmas gift anyway?
Q. On the 27th of November my friend tagged me in a status saying Nickelback was "f***ing awesome" and because I was tagged in it, my gran saw it and commented on it saying that the swearing is disgusting and that its not needed. My friend responded in ...
A. 16 December 2013: There is no "someone else's" when it comes to Facebook. Your gran was okay to voice her opinion, and your friend was okay to voice hers. She responded "cheeky", but at least she didn't verbally abuse her or call her names or put her down.
Gran ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of adultery, with him, because I'm not yet divorced. We have so many issues. Is this abusive situation resolvable?
Q. My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,...
A. 16 December 2013: To support him, you are pulling food, clothing, and necessities from your kid. To keep him in your house using you for money is hurting your child, money that could be dor Dr's appointments, better clothes, a little saved for catastrophes, all of ... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 16 December 2013: I knew that you asked her. You're going to lose her if you keep this crap up. Seriously, getting her friend to spy on her for you?
You're going to lose her if you don't check yourself.... (read in full...)
Is there a tactful way to ask someone to back off on Facebook?
Q. Hi everyone, I need a little help here... So I have this friend... he has told me he's been interested in me, but I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. I've made this clear to him, and he seems to be just fine with that. However, I...
A. 15 December 2013: Yep, you can put your settings to block this new guy who's interested in you from seeing your other friend's posts. Easy as pie.
Or, you can have the talk. You can't get around it if you don't want to go the block route. You could be doing hi... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my girlfriend because of her family's reputation?
Q. Helo friends today after a lil bit of long time I again want your help.....actually i m in a relationship with s gal from last 1 nd half year,we both are happy together but their is a big problem about their family that I came to know before a week ...
A. 15 December 2013: Who are you, Mister Darcy???
She is not her family. She has the right to aspire to be better than her raising, and if you prejudice her based on the action of others, what does that make you?
You should have asked these questions a year... (read in full...)
He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 15 December 2013: **sigh** Arranged marriage strikes again.
The more you keep in contact with him, the more you will hurt. You need to cut it off. No pain is unbearable, and you can lean on your friends and family to be your shoulder until it lessens.
The rel... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: Buddy, you're walking the tightrope between jealousy and controlling. It's a thin line. You said she doesn't drink much. You'll drive her away if you try to control her. You don't want her to drink like other guys don't want their women dressing ... (read in full...)
I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"
Q. I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...
A. 15 December 2013: Does he want to blow up your marriage? Revenge sex is not justified and is never justified. If he can't get past what you did, he needs to end the marriage.
Also, tell him that you didn't cheat IN the marriage. If you've been married for 3 ye... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: I thought so.
Let's make this clear - this isn't about an alcoholic or drinking problem. It's a jealousy problem. You worry because if she drinks while not in your presence, she's going to cheat?
You've gotta trust her, buddy. She didn... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant? Should I buy the Plan B?
Q. So my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. (In other words, I gave him my V card.) But, because we were not expecting it to happen, we went unprotected. It didn't last too long because he didn't wanted to cum inside me, which he ...
A. 15 December 2013: Definitely get Plan B today. The number one reason that the pull-out method fails is not because of pre-ejaculate, but because of the inability to pull out in time. Sure he pulled out, but a millisecond too late, and the first "squirt" found its ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: I actually agree with you regarding misplaced anger. It's similar to the guy who acts out misogynistic because he had an abusive mother who domineered the family. It's not about women, it's about his mom.
I agree with the others, I'm not a th... (read in full...)
Is he playing games/flirting with me so he doesn't have to have the repairs done in my flat?
Q. Recently, workmen have descended on the flats where I live which are being refurbished and I have grown quite attracted to the manager in charge who works on-site. However, I'm really confused by his behaviour. Having requested a number of re...
A. 15 December 2013: Sometimes, single (and simple) minded people need reminding more than once to do things. I don't think it was a conscious desire to avoid you or get out of doing work. I think that they're simply unable to multitask to a fault, and basically not ... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: You didn't put all of the information in your initial posts, so I have some questions:
1. WHY did you ask her to limit her drinking? You didn't mention a pattern of overdrinking, so it's either you see that she goes out of control because ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of divorcing my wife because she isn't pretty enough
Q. I will be as honest as I can, so i can have some honest responses.I need some suggestion from people who are on the same shoes or from anyone. I have been married for 3 years. I am 26 and my wife is 24. In my opinion i think my wife looks 6/10....
A. 15 December 2013: You said this:
"p.s I have never been fortunate enough to date a beautiful girl. I dont know if I am having this problem because I never get to know how is it to have a relationship with pretty girl. I think it always remained as a dream." ... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: BTW, I'm wondering about your hesitance for combining bills. Is it out of guilt because of your debts? Is it because of a sense that money equals power? Is it because you don't trust him with all of the finances?
I'm asking because usually ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone and I'm scared that he might cheat on me
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone !! He cheated on me before, although that was a year ago. We broke up and got back together, and now I'm afraid that he has or will do somethin...
A. 14 December 2013: It all depends on HOW he is friends with her. If she works with him or is otherwise in your circle of friends that he comes in contact with, that's iffy, but I could understand.
However, if they're texting constantly, buying gifts, spending... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: Here is the problem with splitting income like you're roommates:
When you marry, you sign a paper stating that you are creating a new financial entity. The tax rules change to that of married status, and many of the other things as well are that... (read in full...)
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