My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: BTW, I'm wondering about your hesitance for combining bills. Is it out of guilt because of your debts? Is it because of a sense that money equals power? Is it because you don't trust him with all of the finances?
I'm asking because usually ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone and I'm scared that he might cheat on me
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend is friends with this girl who sleeps around with almost everyone !! He cheated on me before, although that was a year ago. We broke up and got back together, and now I'm afraid that he has or will do somethin...
A. 14 December 2013: It all depends on HOW he is friends with her. If she works with him or is otherwise in your circle of friends that he comes in contact with, that's iffy, but I could understand.
However, if they're texting constantly, buying gifts, spending... (read in full...)
Is he just being stubborn or does he just want to remain friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a good two months and we were fab together. Always laughing, had loadz fun together, both felt the same, couldnt get enough of each other. I started to get really strong feelings for him to which he reciprocated by telling me ...
A. 14 December 2013: You're being very clingy! He was feeling claustrophobic, and when he backed off a little, you started bombarding him with texts saying "what did I do" and constantly after him. You responded by doing the exact opposite of what you should have ... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: Here is the problem with splitting income like you're roommates:
When you marry, you sign a paper stating that you are creating a new financial entity. The tax rules change to that of married status, and many of the other things as well are that... (read in full...)
Am I no longer a virgin?
Q. Hi I am in a new relationship. Yesterday my boyfriend and I had sex, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I didn't bleed and neither did my first time hurt. My question is my boyfriend inserted half of his cock inside me, does this mean I am n...
A. 13 December 2013: You have officially lost your virginity.
As the legal wording states:
"Penetration, however slight, is sufficient."... (read in full...)
Why do you not lose weight whilst on your period?
Q. I'm confused with this whole 'you can't loose weight whilst on your period'. I have started my period and typically it's started on the first day of my weight loss. I'm eating very healthy and doing lots of exercise today onwards to get back on t...
A. 13 December 2013: Think of what you're doing as a lifestyle change. I know you're doing it for weight loss, and that's good. But don't measure your only result with the scale, or you will get impatient. Eating right and exercise is a lifelong thing, not just until ... (read in full...)
I need help with my monster in laws!
Q. Sorry this may be a long one! But I need help! Potential monster in laws. Hi I need some help with my in laws, my boyfriend of 3 years is their only child and I feel like they resent me for taking him away, because he's very busy with work and ch...
A. 13 December 2013: Actually, the final straw that set the meeting was because of an argument that he had at the time with his parents. We had been dating for 4 months and so happy. The entire time, his parents would tell him that they didn't think I was good for ... (read in full...)
My husband is angry about my photoshoot even though he was there
Q. Hi everyone. My husband and I are having a difference of opinion and I wanted to get some objective views... so here I am. First of all, my husband (Dave) and I have been married a bit over two years but have known each other for about four years...
A. 13 December 2013: Thousands of competent, professional photographers, and you chose an EX to take nude pictures of you, and then your husband to be there to watch the whole thing?!? Sorry, but when you're married, that is something you do not do.
And, Ken your ex ... (read in full...)
I need help with my monster in laws!
Q. Sorry this may be a long one! But I need help! Potential monster in laws. Hi I need some help with my in laws, my boyfriend of 3 years is their only child and I feel like they resent me for taking him away, because he's very busy with work and ch...
A. 13 December 2013: Your boyfriend is ultimately the cause of this entire issue. I felt that way with your original post, and I REALLY feel that way after reading your follow up. Yes, his parents were way out of line behaving badly at the party because they chose the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he would feel uncomfortable around my gay friend!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and I want him to meet my friends. He hasn't met them already yet as there hasn't been an opportunity for him to. So I asked him the other day if he would like to come and watch one of my friends ...
A. 13 December 2013: I could give the "politically correct" advice, or I could give the real advice here. My husband's brother is gay, and my best friend is a lesbian. In honor of them, I'll be honest and tell you that no amount of guilt, propriety, or societal ... (read in full...)
I feel like more of a sulky teen than an adult!
Q. hello, hope you can help am living with my boyfriend and we are really happy things are going great, am in danger of sounding like a spoilt brat so please bear with me... my boyfriends ex (a girl he really liked who he dated for a while) is due to ...
A. 12 December 2013: Nah, you're not acting like a spoiled brat or a sulky teen. Sometimes many of us have indulged the catty fantasy of our partner's exes living miserably ever after, oh yeah, and we're much prettier than that ex. That one's secondary to the fantasy ... (read in full...)
I'm so scared that this 4 week break so early on in our relationship is going to ruin us.
Q. I've been seeing my boyf since the summer and been official for the last 2 months. Everything is going great. So far he seems my perfect man and I'm so happy. But here's the thing, last week he went home for xmas, he'll be gone 3-4 weeks. He's ...
A. 12 December 2013: Why would it ruin you? One month away is nothing if you look at the big picture. You know what they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Relationships survive year-long overseas deployments, business assignments and so on.
This relation... (read in full...)
Would you share your resume with a coworker?
Q. A coworker of mine who I talk to frequently was promoted to my previous position couple of months ago. Although we are in the same building, I also got promoted and work on another floor. I have helped her across the way when she emails me with var...
A. 12 December 2013: If I were in your position, and this co-worker and I were in a good working relationship where she's come through for me and vice versa, I'd copy and paste the wording of the specific job experience of the resume to email to her. Since we both ... (read in full...)
How hard should I try to be a good girlfriend in his eyes?
Q. Ive been with my boyf for 3yrs, and living with him for 6mths, prior to moving in, Id only ever lived with my parents and could barely boil an egg.. It was obvious to me that my man wanted me to learn to cook, not just to please him, but for myself ...
A. 11 December 2013: OMG, is he serious??? You are *not* his wife. You are his ROOMMATE. Who is working?? Are you both working, given that you mentioned that you "probably bought the beer"? That means you're contributing financially into the place? You're paying ... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 10 December 2013: Oh yeah, trophy or fetish, one of the two.
I'd give them to him ONLY if he didn't have a collection of other women's panties. I'd feel weird if my used panties were number 45 in the collection.... (read in full...)
I'm considering changing my personality to become a jerk in order to date!
Q. So, I've recently, after the same bullshit of "I see you more as a friend", decided to change myself into the complete opposite of what I am now, knowing that it will take a long time. Today I behave like a Gentlemen when dating, red roses as a ...
A. 10 December 2013: My husband was the proverbial "nice guy". He was a boy scout in my opinion, was a youth leader, never had sex before and was adamant about waiting until marriage (we actually did...I barely SAW the outside of our hotel room for the first 4 days of ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to invite a friend along on quasi-dates?
Q. Is it weird to arrange a date and invite friends along. Someone I met online invited his friend along once, I had no objection, and thought what a great idea. It totally took the edge off the meeting and made it much more relaxed and fun. But I get ...
A. 10 December 2013: What's a quasi-date??
I'm in the one-on-one camp here too. You're SUPPOSED to be nervous on a first date! The "edge" is wonderful, because the payoff is if you two click and the ice is broken. I had a couple of first dates where it ended up... (read in full...)
Sex isn't going so well during this pregnancy
Q. Hi. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second baby with my partner along almost 4 years. The baby was planned and everything is going well apart from our sex life. Ever since I was about 12 week's pregnant the sex has been off and on. To begin with he ...
A. 10 December 2013: Ohhh that does not bode well if he's talking about "fault" and he wasn't there during the birth. If I were you, I'd be keeping tabs on him, because that's possible cheating behavior.... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 10 December 2013: Ted Bundy had a long term girlfriend the whole time he was raping and murdering other women. He was considered handsome and charming and charismatic, and she didn't find out until he was caught. His last victim was a 12 year old with a strong ... (read in full...)
Sex isn't going so well during this pregnancy
Q. Hi. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second baby with my partner along almost 4 years. The baby was planned and everything is going well apart from our sex life. Ever since I was about 12 week's pregnant the sex has been off and on. To begin with he ...
A. 10 December 2013: I think I know what it could be. The first time you were pregnant with your first child, he hadn't seen you in the act of giving birth. Now he has the memory of seeing the baby emerge from your body...
(DISCLAIMER: This next bit contains... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 10 December 2013: This is really really bad, as in child molester, serial rapist, voyeur, flasher kind of guy, and you need to RUN away from him. This isn't normal. It's guys like these who would date and marry a woman in order to fondle her 5-year old daughter. ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: You said this about your casual encounters of the past:
"I can easily say that those didn't mean anything to me"
You wonder why she could give away her virginity in a matter that seemingly didn't mean anything to her? That her doing so makes y... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: Waaaait a second, hold on, back up!
You said this:
"I had larger number of partners, and few were no-attachment sex, but I didn't experience something so "dirty"."
If you had no-attachment sex with a large number of partners, what you did w... (read in full...)
Which is more important in a partner: being physically attractive, or being good in bed?
Q. I have a general question for everyone. Do you prefer a partner who is good looking but boring in bed, or a partner who is average looking but good in bed?...
A. 8 December 2013: GOOD IN BED!!!!! An attractive eye candy guy who kisses you like a dead fish and flops around until he ejaculates in 21 seconds? Big deal, who cares!
An average guy who would never be voted most beautiful, who may have a bit of cushion or a nos... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: We're missing a lot of info here.
1. Who is he to you? A boyfriend? FWB? One night stand?
2. How long have you been together?
3. Is this first time sex with him, or have you been sexual for awhile with him?
4. How did the convers... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 8 December 2013: I'm glad you gave so much detail in your post. That's actually refreshing to me, because it gave me a good context of what's going through your mind in a more complete way.
I'm not sure this is garden variety RJ. Make no mistake, you've got some... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: I was doing some digging on the internet, and it seems that this is actually an established con done by many guys, and the guys who do it are called "fishermen". The common story is that they'll talk about their successful careers and stable ... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: I wanted to be excruciatingly clear when I read through your account, because normally I am a "whoever does the asking out does the paying" on a first date. If it's clear that *he* initiated the meeting, which from what I was reading about, he was ... (read in full...)
He said he loved me while he was drunk, then took it back after sobering up!
Q. Been seeing a guy since August. Told him a few weeks back that I loved him. He said he wasn't there yet, which is fine. Last weekend when we were both really drunk he told me he loved me numerous times. The next day once he had sobered up he said ...
A. 8 December 2013: I had to think for a bit before answering this one. If you've been together since August, then you've been together 4 months, which is often not long after a couple decides to become exclusive and/or become sexual. 4 months is also pretty early to ... (read in full...)
She posts everything we do on facebook!
Q. im with this girl that is say young enough to be my daughter. i love her very much and i even ended a long term marriage for her. but lately i have been thinking about things she put on facebook when we were dating. i told her one night when we were ...
A. 6 December 2013: SVC:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-not-making-as-much-money-so-im.html
I think this is our update. The "flag" has changed, but the stories are identical as well as the OP's written cadence and non-use of capitalization in their replies... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 6 December 2013: Given your job situation, you need to enlist your family and friends. When does your lease end? You may need to move to extricate yourself from her because of your lack of money and options. She sounds like a real fruit loop, for lack of a better ... (read in full...)
Does my Bf love me or is just using me? He refuses to stand up for me and he blames me when things go wrong.
Q. Dear Everybody, why is he behaving this way? Half year ago a guy fell in love with me. He fought extremly hard to get me be with him. He behaved as a gentleman, bought me flowers, surprised me all the time, always called me up - asked how I am, ...
A. 6 December 2013: Before I go over this case by case, I'll say this right now - having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you don't stand up for yourself. It doesn't become his responsibility to stand up for you in every situation. However, his general life decisions ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 6 December 2013: You're in a jam. You need to rectify your job situation.
Also, this is all the more reason to get a lawyer and do this legally, because she WORKS the system. She was going to file charges against YOU because of some girls jumping her? She's th... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but doesn't trust me to carry out his wishes!
Q. My son's father has been dating me now for 15 years. We have seen turbulent times. He left me after the birth of our son and started seeing a coworker of his. This relationship lasted about 4 years. He denied it was anything more than a casual ...
A. 6 December 2013: Trust me - you DO NOT WANT to be the executor of his will. That is an absolutely thankless job, and it's tedious and horrific and usually not worth the stipend you get for doing it, depending on what state you live in. My father just died, and I ... (read in full...)
Found out he cheated before we broke up
Q. I just found out that my ex-boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the last 2 weeks of our relationship. We broke up in May, about 6 months ago, and I just found this out last night. We have been arguing/talking ever since but now that I officially know ...
A. 5 December 2013: He is your EX! Stop contacting him. Yes, he cheated on you, making him a slimy cheating dog. If he's not with her, then I pity the next girl he's with for having the misfortune of being with such a morally bankrupt human being.
Other... (read in full...)
What can I say to make things better with my fiancée, and why have I upset her so much?
Q. My fiancee is not speaking to me apart from to say she thinks we should break up. It all started the other day when we were going to a Sci Fi convention. She was ok to go with me but I could tell she was a bit bored. When we got home, I asked her if ...
A. 5 December 2013: I'm a gamer and a sci-fi'er myself, but I think I would freak out if a guy ever told me that he was looking more forward to that than a wedding, which is a life-changing, life-altering rite of passage and celebration of us. I adore conventions so ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my fiancée I sometimes wear women's panties, but I'm afraid of what she'll think!
Q. Hello everyone, I've got an odd thing goin on. Basically I like to wear girls panties, but mainly just when I masturbate or at night when goin to bed. It makes me feel more intimate and they are more comfortable than my boxers. I sometimes wear them ...
A. 5 December 2013: Yeah, while you should have told her before becoming engaged, there's no time like the present! If you talked to her about your fantasy before and she wasn't repulsed by it, then I think she might be open to hearing about your fetish.
She i... (read in full...)
I know I'm chilled and laid back, but a man called me "boring"! How can I change giving that impression?
Q. I have been single now for about 2 years. I don't really date much but I went out with a Co worker the other night, we just went to dinner. Physically I know he's attracted to me but he did mention to me that I was "boring". I right away felt a bit ...
A. 5 December 2013: It's funny, as I started reading your post, I bristled myself when I read that he thought you were "boring". However, as I read your post and his explanation of why he used the word, he actually complimented you in a dumbass way. To him, "boring" ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but is now ignoring me after (wrongly) accusing me of cheating!
Q. I really like this one guy, and I'll name him "N". He's the very first guy that I've ever fallen for after so many years, and he knew that I like him. So, we hooked up lots of times, had drinks together, we hung out and we became very, very close, ...
A. 5 December 2013: Heh, what an asshat. If he doesn't want a relationship, then you can do anything you want. You're not "his", and he needs to have his head examined if he thinks he gets the benefits of a relationship (i.e. exclusivity) without the actual ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 5 December 2013: Ahh, one more thing I just discovered - even if you didn't talk to your landlord about this woman and her son, you can get them to consider allowing you to relocate (to a different house if you're renting a house or another apartment/townhouse ... (read in full...)
We broke up but she won't move out
Q. There's a woman who I've been in a relationship with for over a year and a half- and we've broken up in September of this year. She currently lives with me- though I want her out because we're not getting along at this point. This is primarily ...
A. 5 December 2013: Unfortunately, Honeypie is correct. Your remedy is a legal one, and it varies from state to state.You're going to need to go through the district/conciliation court and issue a written Notice to Vacate. I know in California, it's 60 days, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become distant again. How do I handle it?
Q. I've been with my bf for 3 years. I don't live with him but stay over at his place on the weekends and we see each other during the week IF our schedules allow but it isn't often. I'm 31, and he's 35. We've been having issues over the last several ...
A. 5 December 2013: If you had been fighting every single day, of course there would be a distance happening. The residual effects of constant fighting and conflict would be to avoid it. You never mentioned what the fighting was about, but every specific fight you ... (read in full...)
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