How can I deal with my boyfriends friendship with his ex?
Q. What's the best way to deal with my boyfriend still being friends with his ex? How can I stop worrying and being jealous? My boyfriend of 7 months is still friends with his ex from over a year ago. They talk often on skype and texting, and ...
A. 13 January 2014: You can stay, or you can leave. That's your choice. Ultimatums rarely work, and this level of baggage is not for everyone in a relationship.
I personally would leave. When I leave a relationship, I end it all the way. I know there are issues l... (read in full...)
Should I contribute more than my boyfriend's room mate?
Q. I am going to move in with my bf in a few months. We decided this long before he started having financial issues (furlough, medical bills, car accident), but now they have surfaced and I don't know what to do. He currently owns his home and ren...
A. 13 January 2014: His money hardships are not your issue, and the fact that he not only takes money from you now, but is wanting more money for you to live in his house is a big red flag that doesn't get better after marriage.
Also, if the roommate is renting ... (read in full...)
My mother and I cannot afford health insurance and we're losing hope
Q. Hi everyone, this is not a relationship issue but rather an issue within myself. I'm 19, going to school full time and work a part time retail job. I live with just my mom and a few wonderful animals. We are really, really broke to the point where ...
A. 13 January 2014: Not many people know about this, but the larger universities with dental training programs take on people for a fraction of the cost of a dentist. Basically, you get every service that any other dentist offers, but the dentist is accompanied by ... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: You said: "Also another question. Can a girl tell that you're upset over a break up?"
Yes, they can. You deleting her post showed her that you weren't over her, actually. Your "sup" showed her that you are still crying, blubbering, and writing ... (read in full...)
Would you be ok with your girlfriend travelling abroad with friends?
Q. my gf and i have been in a ldr for almost two years and we are about to close the distance and move in together this year. first step before proposing ;) we asked different questions to each other to make sure we would exactly what we are getting ...
A. 13 January 2014: I'd be fine with my husband taking off with buddies of his. I totally trust him. Likewise, I've taken off on adventures with friends. New York, Vancouver, Vegas, Sedona, Miami, I've been to nearly every state in the US (next is Alaska!), and my ... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 12 January 2014: Dry humping all the time?? That isn't being loving and affectionate, so why exactly is she supposed to just "enjoy" it? There's touching, and then there's excessive groping. She's not a piece of meat to be used at his pleasure.
OP, you have... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 11 January 2014: It's easy to say "distance yourself" or "stop communicating", but I know that's easier said than done. I feel for you, having succeeded in a similar situation you find yourself in, so I'll give you some tips:
1. Think of one good thing about yo... (read in full...)
He said I pushed him into getting married
Q. After watching a movie with my husband about a very possessive women who was trying to force her bf into marriage and when he wouldn't she went absolutely nuts (funny movie by the way) My Husband looks over at me and says all women want is to get ...
A. 11 January 2014: SVC, psychologically you're correct. In terms of a divorce, she has the upper hand if she is the one who remains in the domicile. Courts tend to favor the one who remains as the aggrieved party.... (read in full...)
He said I pushed him into getting married
Q. After watching a movie with my husband about a very possessive women who was trying to force her bf into marriage and when he wouldn't she went absolutely nuts (funny movie by the way) My Husband looks over at me and says all women want is to get ...
A. 10 January 2014: Hmmm. I agree with SVC, but I wouldn't be the one leaving.
I'd talk to him and thank him for his honesty. I'd tell him that I would never trap anyone in a relationship or marriage that they weren't fully wanting to be in. I'd tell him that I'd... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 10 January 2014: The moment you developed feelings for your friend, you ceased to be a friend. Your friend represents someone who doesn't see all sides of you, makes no demands on you, so it's a fiction. Your wife is there for you body and soul. She's the mother ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's family is disrespectful of me and I'm not sure how to deal with it
Q. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half now, and this has largely been a very happy period of my life. I was conscious when entering into a same-sex relationship that difficulties may arise, and was both surprised and ...
A. 10 January 2014: You say that you stay at their house, right? Does that mean that the two of you *live* there? If a fight is over whether or not you give the mom a lift, that sounds unlikely unless you live there. So why are you there? Why are you two not ... (read in full...)
I've moved on, so why do my ex's actions bother me?
Q. Hi, I'm 18 and about a year and a half ago I split up with my first love who I lost my virginity to and had been with on and off for about 2 years. He was horrible to me, he would finish with me every few months but then use me for sex even though w...
A. 9 January 2014: It essentially boils down to the fact that you lost your virginity to him. The oxytocin released made you feel really attached to him. Mentally, you moved on, but there are emotional traces of that attachment still there. Add that to your ego and ... (read in full...)
Does love exist still? Should I save my virginity for "The One"? I want a better marriage than my parents have.
Q. Hey everyone :) So I'm 19 and still a virgin which is kind of part of the problem and not. Anyway I need to know am I being way too expecting of love and sex? My parents had a unsatisfactory marriage and still do. I grew up in a home where...
A. 9 January 2014: It's funny that you note what your mom said about a relationship being sex sex sex. I commend you for being self-aware about the mistakes in your parents' marriage, but without knowing it, you have committed the same error as your mom in believing ... (read in full...)
Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?
Q. Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...
A. 8 January 2014: I have to clarify, it wasn't awful because I didn't like how it looked, but because my skin was sensitive and I felt awful. I didn't mean to offend anyone!... (read in full...)
HIndsight after breakup..I think the man I fell in love with never existed
Q. I am struggling to get over a recent relationship break up because I feel as though it was all a lie and his words were just that - words. I used to work with my now ex boyfriend. We were in the same department for little over a year and in that...
A. 8 January 2014: Why are you still talking to him and his mother after the breakup??
Sure he existed, but he did something very disloyal at the party and the two of you couldn't get past it. His self-destructive behavior and subsequent denial of his part in thing... (read in full...)
I don't want to get back into a relationship because of his drinking.
Q. Ok, so me and my boyfriend broke up four months ago. He broke up with me because I didn't approve of his drinking and getting drunk. He kept it a secret and I just happen to find out. We dated for a month and a half, but we texted for a month before ...
A. 8 January 2014: You were very smart to break up with him. Not only is he underage, but hiding a drinking habit and being unable to stop are bad signs of an unhealthy relationship and a bleak future for his life and you as a couple. Underagers who drink and get ... (read in full...)
Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?
Q. Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...
A. 8 January 2014: Neatly close trimmed here. I've shaved a couple of times and not only was it awful, but my husband hated it and said he "felt like a pedophile"...heh. Funny, because he indulges in porn occasionally, so maybe he equates that as well.
... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a married man to text or chat with other woman?
Q. Is it ok for a married man to text or chat with other woman? I have been married for 7 years and from the beginning I have expressed to my husband how I feel about this subject after reading a conversation between him and another women about how ...
A. 7 January 2014: It sounds like you're smothering him and he's acting out to make a statement that you can't mommy or control him. Why would he feel the need to change his passwords unless you were snooping or surveiling and calling him out on every communication ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back! How do I get her to fall for me again?
Q. I want to get back with my ex. I'm now a senior and shes a junior. We got together first back in February of last year. Dated for 3 months, had amazing memories, but by the third month, we had already begin to get physical and had oral sex quite a ...
A. 7 January 2014: If that is the scope of your transgressions, and the real emotional outburst happened because of your attempt at your first sexual encounter, then your odds are tenuous in regards to getting back with her.
One thing is for sure - she is not read... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 7 January 2014: Actually, you writing him a letter will stroke his ego and let him know, rightly, that you're not over him. And, you'll be humiliating yourself, because nothing shouts "psycho ex" than a long hate letter after a breakup.
The others are right to... (read in full...)
I want my ex back! How do I get her to fall for me again?
Q. I want to get back with my ex. I'm now a senior and shes a junior. We got together first back in February of last year. Dated for 3 months, had amazing memories, but by the third month, we had already begin to get physical and had oral sex quite a ...
A. 7 January 2014: Why did she leave you?? Was it just because of you kissing another girl on the forehead, or was it something else?
The first time sex attempt - was she simply not ready for sex, or did she tell you to stop and you didn't stop right away until sh... (read in full...)
Do I ignore married co-worker? I know I shouldn't act on my feelings!
Q. Hi. Well..I am in a strange situation and I'm not sure how to deal with it..I am in a long therm relationship but started to develop feelings for a married colleague and he has feelings for me for more than an year...we never talked about it ...
A. 7 January 2014: I agree with the others - it's not okay to accept jewelry from a married man. Jewelry is one of the most intimate of gifts and he should give it to his wife. Also, look at how he's treating her, and don't listen to the worthless words of "oh it's ... (read in full...)
My ex is spreading horrible rumors to my friends
Q. Sorry this will probably be long.... I've just broken up with my partner. We'd been together just over a year but had been close friends for 5 years. I thought I knew him well... Our friendship was incredible, best of friends before we got to...
A. 7 January 2014: He is still trying to control you buy what he's doing, and the truth is, they won't be thinking badly about you. They're thinking about how utterly vile he is. If you're missing him, tell yourself that the way he is treating you now is ... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: Even if he never touches you, you should still not date him because he is an abuser. This is not the time to be like "It's okay if he does it just as long as he doesn't do it to me". What if he was beating his dog? Raping other women? Stealing ... (read in full...)
I am a 23 year old virgin stuck in limbo!
Q. I'm a 22 year old virgin from Pittsburgh region of the US, and I have asperger's syndrome. I recently had a birthday and now I am down on myself again because I made it through another year of my life with not even a kiss and it is so upsetting. I ...
A. 7 January 2014: Heh, you should ask your hairdresser out! 50% is outstanding.
You need to ask women you're interested in out. If you've ever fished in your life, you know that standing in a lake doesn't cause the fish to jump into your boat any more than spe... (read in full...)
Isn't coming clean about cheating better?
Q. I found out yesterday that my ex cheated on me with a callgirl. We are living apart and still seeing each other after living together for 3 years. I found his other phone and home and I am not one to peep at others ph, I felt this strong need to ...
A. 7 January 2014: He is your ex? Does that mean you broke off the relationship and moved away, but you were still seeing him occasionally? I hate to tell you this, but he didn't cheat on you, because you're no longer in a relationship. Seeing and having sex with ... (read in full...)
Fingering sometimes hurts.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's fingered me quite a bit. We're both virgins, so he was only inserting ome or two fingers at the most. About a week ago we tried three fingers but it was really sore so we stopped. I'm ...
A. 7 January 2014: This one's easy! I figured out the problem when you said the word "inserting". Fingering isn't pretending his fingers are a penis. He needs instead to learn how to stimulate your clitoris, and wait to insert when you're good and wet, and then ... (read in full...)
Would she be offended if I asked her to wear a wig during sex?
Q. I'm in a relationship for almost 2 years, we're both divorced and not rushing into marriage. she lives with me weekdays being I'm very close to where she works. We have a good relationship and I don't want to rock the boat asking her to wear a wig. ...
A. 7 January 2014: How open would she be to role playing?? If you incorporate the wig, get one for yourself, maybe some playful bed clothes, and it won't look like you're looking for another woman. It would look like some switching it up in the bedroom, give you ... (read in full...)
We need to set some ground rules for our trial separation!
Q. I am 16 years older than my BF. We met 9 years ago and our relationship escalated quickly to the point of him moving to Texas from NY and building a house for us and my two kids. We have had our ups and downs. Mostly with his maturity. He was 21 ...
A. 5 January 2014: I would suggest that the separation not be a "trial", but the end. All of these ground rules, the "what will you be "the "even if we end up with someone else" is all denial. After 8 years, if this is where your relationship is, then it is over, ... (read in full...)
I am a 23 year old virgin stuck in limbo!
Q. I'm a 22 year old virgin from Pittsburgh region of the US, and I have asperger's syndrome. I recently had a birthday and now I am down on myself again because I made it through another year of my life with not even a kiss and it is so upsetting. I ...
A. 5 January 2014: I have some questions to ask you, because while it would be easy to give you standard advice, I don't think it would be enough in this case. I'm hoping you will follow up with clarifying information, because since I can't see you or talk to you or ... (read in full...)
I feel so low, I thought he cared but he implied I am a stalker!
Q. Please give a good advice I'm really hurt I thought a guy I worked with for ages liked me and we became close He told me he was unhappy with the girl he lived with and had 'issues' Anyway over time we became close and he gave me the impression t...
A. 4 January 2014: Everything boils down to the fact that he was cheating on his girlfriend who lives with him. He was using you for his own ego and for sex (even if it was just kissing), and you started making demands for more than just his dirty little secret.
... (read in full...)
Is it a normal thing to stay friends with an ex or do those situations usually turn out badly?
Q. A year and a half ago, my 3 year relationship with my ex ended pretty badly. I found out she was actually cheating behind my back with a mutual friend of ours. I still loved her a lot and tried to work things out but in the end it didn't end up ...
A. 3 January 2014: Why would you want to be friends with someone who cheated on you, lied to you, caused you to lose a close friendship? You're still desperate to keep her in your life because of your ego. It feels good to have the one who did these horrible things ... (read in full...)
Is this affair just a phase in my life?
Q. Hi, I'm a married woman who's been having an affair with my coworker for 8 months now. My husband and I have a fake relationship, we pretend to be happy and try to do things together for the kids sake. But as soon as we disagree on somethin...
A. 3 January 2014: Actually you're doing your kids a disservice by continuing a fake home. And you're really doing them a disservice by cheating and bringing in a third party into it. If you're here looking for justification or validation, it's not going to happen ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend needs space but I need comfort! Do I end things?
Q. Ok so I'm struggling to find the right thing to do. My gf recently lost a loved one and has since gone into a shell where she wants space yet is out all of the time. I recently received bad news about a family member and she barely said a word to ...
A. 3 January 2014: What timeframe are we talking about here? How long ago did she lose a loved one and who was the loved one?? That is a big factor on advising you here. You didn't give the needed details for this.
All I can tell you is - people grieve differen... (read in full...)
My grandfather is a dangerous driver, but his kids wont take the keys away
Q. My grandfather is in his 80s, and he should not be on the road. I have been in the car with him, and he cant drive straight, frequently has to swerve to avoid hitting cars, and gets very stressed in busy areas. I have been in near accident...
A. 3 January 2014: It may not be your place to forcibly take his keys away, but you are family, so it is your place to tell him like it is. Tell him he needs to go to the doctor for evaluation because he has become a danger on the roads. Ask him if his pride is ... (read in full...)
I'm excited and proud to be married, he hasn't told anyone
Q. I just got married after dating for 5 years. Due to having minor kids my divorce decree said I couldn't cohabit with anyone. My new husband understood that and supported me in getting married. It was a lovely short ceremony at his (now our) home ...
A. 3 January 2014: Even though I agree that you won't know the real story until you ask him, my guess is that his decision not to tell them yet until the "full" wedding in May is a good one!
It's a romantic thing to go to a wedding and witness "The moment". It's hi... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 3 January 2014: That's just it, OP. He's not your friend. You are the object of his affection. He wants to get in your pants. When someone has non-platonic feelings for someone else, it ceases to be platonic. It becomes a sexual relationship without the sex. ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but sometimes he's nice and sometimes he's not! What should I do?
Q. I really like this guy and I think he likes me to. I catch him staring at me and he flirted with me a lot at the school dance. But sometimes he can be mean to me which my friends say it's because he likes me. And sometimes he flirts soooo much with ...
A. 2 January 2014: What do you mean, he's mean to you? What does he say or do??
You're young, so if "he's mean" means he's picking on you, your friends might be right. However if "he's mean" means he puts you down or calls you names, then your friends are wrong. ... (read in full...)
Was I being manipulated?
Q. Hi, I just want to ask for some ideas about something that happened last year. It was one of the most shameful episodes of my life but am haunted by a question about it. I was really depressed over 'unrequited feelings'to do with a guy and ended ...
A. 2 January 2014: Seriously, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!
It's not a shameful thing to tap into your sexuality. I kinda think you used each other - he used you for some excitement at work, and you used him as medicine to get over your unrequit... (read in full...)
She told me how somebody 'could get her panties to drop!"
Q. Alrighty then, a little backstory on me. I'm 19 and I've never even had my first kiss, let alone a date. It's not lack of opportunity, just no one I've been interested in that the opportunity came up with. So, anyways I've known a girl for about 6 ...
A. 2 January 2014: I agree with FA - I thought "big sister" too. She is dating someone new and wants you to be as happy as she is with a girl of your own. She knows you haven't had a girlfriend yet and is giving you tips. She's happy with this new guy and wants you ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me a month before he moved away
Q. He's twelve years older than me, I'm 18. When we started dating we were both concerned about other peoples reactions due to the age and so because he was moving away at the end of last month we decided to try stay secret given nothing long term ...
A. 2 January 2014: You need to get over him by cutting contact. Breaking up is breaking up. How can you move on when he's still in your life daily? How can you find another guy only to tell him that you're in daily contact with your ex?
There's also another ... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 2 January 2014: Yes, you sure DID cheat on your boyfriend! You were unfaithful, disloyal, and deceptive. It doesn't take sex to cheat. Here's why:
1. While I disagree with your boyfriend that you can't have opposite sex friends, you can't have ones who have... (read in full...)
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