His brother died recently but hes angry at me all of a sudden
Q. Hi guys and gals! Hopefully theres someone out there who can help give me an insight into a problem I have. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago and it started off brilliantly. He initiated contact with me and we communicated for a few days, ...
A. 21 April 2014: I have to agree with Cerberus, though I'll put it more gently:
He is in no place to have a relationship. When you came along, you were like alcohol or Valium or whatever people use to salve their pain. You can't get drawn into caring for him ... (read in full...)
Since the baby came I have no time to myself and am not interested in sex
Q. I need your advice on how to start feeling in the mood for sex again, please. My husband and I are the same age. We have been together 4 years, married for 2 and have a one year old baby. He nagged me a lot about moving in together and let me k...
A. 21 April 2014: The others have given you good advice, but I saw something that I didn't see addressed here.
Your baby is a year old! Have you not yet started the weaning process?? Babies at that age have started supplementing solid foods, and many have ful... (read in full...)
He wont ever let me have an opinion.
Q. I love my boyfriend to death he means every thing to me. Today we got in to a hugh argument. It was over some thing so small. I gave my opinion and he got so mad said I was stupid and called me other names so I stood up and told him i was done and I ...
A. 21 April 2014: OP, what if the situation was reversed? What if you contradicted him, and instead of calling you names, he walked up to you and slapped you hard across the face and told you he was leaving?? I'm guessing you'd be calling the police and getting him ... (read in full...)
I only reconnected with my ex so we could be friends, but I think he wants more
Q. A bit of an odd question. I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends. We dated for only 4 months, nothing too serious. The awkward part is that he seems to...
A. 19 April 2014: This is crystal clear:
You said this - "I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends."
That's the biggest mistake. You don't reach out to exes to become f... (read in full...)
Husband says he feels like a prostitute because I want him to have sex with me? What can I do?
Q. My husband does not have a sex drive anymore. We are both young in our mid-twenties. We have been together for nearly 10 years. Our sex life has been at times amazing and at times sparse. I always seem to want it more than him. In the past he has u...
A. 18 April 2014: Tisha hit all the points here, and I agree with the others...
He rubs it off quick, easy, and selfishly. You are both way too familiar with each other, and you're getting him off without any reciprocation??
I also seriously doubt it has to ... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 18 April 2014: Yeah, that's "dirty old man" creepiness level here. You should have left in the first month. Why did you stick it out this long?? You've had two years of insanity thinking he's going to change, and he hasn't and won't, especially if he's blaming ... (read in full...)
Should I be friends with him or not? I think I am attracted to him though I am happily married and deeply in love with my husband!
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I am deeply in love with my husband . However I have a friend very close to my heart and we get along really well ! We like each other's company and do spend a lot of time chatting on Facebook ! Recently, I have ...
A. 17 April 2014: Wow! I am really proud of you! I actually don't see many people heed advice like ours because the pull is way too strong. All I can say is hang in there, and the empty pain will lessen in time. You have to fill that void, which will make things ... (read in full...)
He changed his relationship status and I'm confused!
Q. Hello all:) okay so here is my question... i met this guy online about 6years ago. A year later i finally agreed to meet him, and it was great - no awkward silences etc. It felt as if i had known him my whole life. he works on cruise ships, an...
A. 17 April 2014: Are you still in a relationship with the boyfriend that this cruise ship "friend" makes fun of? If so, did you TELL this boyfriend you have that you were stepping out and going on vacations with this other guy?? Because that's not cool!
All o... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 16 April 2014: If she's a virgin, what does "hook up" mean, exactly? She fooled around with them without intercourse? That's what it sounds like.
A friend told you about all the guys she was with?? If she's a virgin, how was she with them? Someone's story do... (read in full...)
How to calm a negative partner?
Q. lately my partner of two years has been VERY negative... and i'm starting to get frustrated! i try to be the best partner possible, i don't know what to do, because lately my partner has been tossing out threats (simple verbal threats like "if you ...
A. 16 April 2014: I thought that as well that this could be the warning signs of possible abuse. People don't go off the deep end when angered as a rule, and constant threats aren't normal either. I'm also curious as to what the "BS" is he's talking about, because ... (read in full...)
I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 16 April 2014: You didn't fail. A girlfriend's job (and a boyfriend's as well) isn't to "make" the other person happy. We are responsible for our own happiness and sadness. We are responsible for aspiring to be the best we can be for ourselves. In a ... (read in full...)
I'm 26 weeks pregnant and completely exhausted!
Q. Hi all...im 26 weeks pregnant and exausted!! Im sleeping fine of a night and getting plenty of hours sleep. Im taking pregnancy vitimans and eating and drinking healthy. I have been tested for anemia, low iron ect but all come back clear. Proble...
A. 16 April 2014: Your body's working overtime to nourish, protect, grow, and shelter your baby - your body is the complete life support system for another body who's using massive resources to grow exponentially. It's also spending a lot more energy preparing YOU ... (read in full...)
Should I be friends with him or not? I think I am attracted to him though I am happily married and deeply in love with my husband!
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I am deeply in love with my husband . However I have a friend very close to my heart and we get along really well ! We like each other's company and do spend a lot of time chatting on Facebook ! Recently, I have ...
A. 16 April 2014: If you're attracted to him, then you need to RUN LIKE HELL. If you deeply love your husband, then you are alienating affection from him by spending all of those 16-year old butterfly feelings for another man. Emotional affairs can destroy ... (read in full...)
I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...
A. 16 April 2014: I want to clear something up right now. No matter what movies and popular culture say, there is absolutely no such thing whatsoever as a "hall pass". You can't mess around and not expect the relationship to not be devastated and ransacked, even if ... (read in full...)
I'm text dating but she won't ever give me her number!
Q. One of my friends knows I am single, so he suggested text dating. I started texting this K who lives local to me (the advert was in the local paper.) The texts went well, she was kind, seemed pleasant enough. With those adverts, you cannot send ...
A. 15 April 2014: I concur with the others. Dodging personal info at this stage means she either has something to hide (i.e. she doesn't look like her pictures, she's married, or she's a he), or has such anxiety issues that should give you pause as to whether or not ... (read in full...)
He has found himself a "girlfriend"!
Q. One of my best guy friends has been ignoring the usual gang since he found himself a "girlfriend". Lets call her J. They are not officially together because she has a boyfriend who is studying overseas but she is cheating on him (physically and ...
A. 15 April 2014: What would you do if your friend were a girl?? If you have a problem with his being an accomplice to her cheating, tell him. A friend who is a girl who constantly cancels because of a boyfriend should be confronted as well. And, you do have to ... (read in full...)
I gave him my phone number but I'm not interested in dating him. What should I do?
Q. I went out on Sunday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...
A. 15 April 2014: I agree with the others in telling the truth, though I'd say it gently in a way that saves him face.
"Thank you so much for the invite, but I think my heart's going in a different direction, and I don't want to lead you on in any way. No hard fee... (read in full...)
I've caught LDR boyfriend lying. Should I just end it?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and the entire relationship has been long distance. I met him through friends last year while on vacation in his state and we talked for months online before I flew there to spend a week with him. For the m...
A. 13 April 2014: I think your relationship is already over, and I agree with llifton here. You both violate trust here. He is violating yours by still talking to his ex and lying about it. However, you are violating his by digging through his private ... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 12 April 2014: That's great that you're getting help! Sorry that your first encounter with medication started rough for you. Understand that those type of pills take a while to help level the chemistry in your brain to help you. Depression or anxiety isn't just ... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 11 April 2014: I agree with the thought of compromising about being at the head of the bed if the reason is a matter of modesty or worrying about sexual attraction going afterwards.
It's a mutual decision. It's not the "My body, my rules" way now, because ... (read in full...)
Between family and school I'm just too tired to perform like I used to
Q. I feel stupid writing this but I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I just…I don’t know what’s going on. Ever since I hit my second year at uni, my motivation has plummeted. I had (and still have) a lot of things going on at home, like my ...
A. 10 April 2014: I agree with the others, but I also think you're showing signs of classic burnout. When is the last time you took a vacation away from family and school?
You cannot carry your family on your shoulders, and that isn't your job no matter who has ... (read in full...)
Are cheaters always cheaters?
Q. My ex constantly cheated when we were dating. I was even the one he cheated on his ex with. I forgave him everytime because I loved him and thought he loved me to death according to the commitment he gave and he would beg his parents and friends to ...
A. 10 April 2014: I don't date cheaters either, but do I think they'll "never" change?? I'd say the vast majority of cheaters never deal with the code or viewpoint or upbringing that facilitated their mindset or their intemperance. There are exceptions, and I find ... (read in full...)
Can I trust her to cut all ties to this facebook friend?
Q. I recently found my wife chatting with a man with whom she made friendship on Facebook. They have been talking on phone for past six months. She claims they never met each other and they were chatting as just friends. I am deeply hurt because s...
A. 9 April 2014: You can't trust someone who has just broken trust. That is a no-brainer. She didn't come to you voluntarily with this information, or it might be a different story. You caught her. This shouldn't be left at just "Trust that I'll cut all ties". ... (read in full...)
He seems to have a 'type' and I'm not it, should I be concerned?
Q. Ok quick question that needs some honest answers .... If a woman is with a man and he is often commenting in women he thinks are attractive and every single one of those seem like a similar type which happens to be nothing like her ... Does she have ...
A. 8 April 2014: If this guy is your boyfriend and is constantly commenting on how attractive other women look, he's doing it to establish power in the relationship by hiding a low self-esteem. He is making you insecure on purpose.
The largest question is - why... (read in full...)
I don't want anyone but medical staff in the room during delivery!
Q. I want to be on my own when i give birth in july...i would like my husband anf family waiting but for my own personal reasons i dont want amyone in the room with me (obviousley apart from any midwives or doctors) but i know my husband really wants ...
A. 8 April 2014: I have to play devil's advocate here and disagree in part to C. Grant, though that very rarely happens:
My husband wept tears of joy at the moment I gave birth to our son. That was a bonding moment for us, for our new baby, everything. That ran... (read in full...)
Why is she so distant after I told her we could only be platonic friends?
Q. Hi there I had a female friend whom I shared alot of things with! We were only platonic and we knew it since day one! Then,one day I felt she's pushing for it to be more than platonic and I told her she's a great girl but I only think of h...
A. 8 April 2014: You couldn't avoid it. If all she was feeling was platonic, she wouldn't be hurt "to the very core". She would have laughed and told you to stop falling for her or something.
She is feeling rejection, which is tough. Give her time, but understa... (read in full...)
Is one month too soon to be feeling like I'm falling in love?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month now. Everything is going great. His awesome, I have no complaints. This has been the best month I've had in a very long time. I know its only been a month but I have very strong feelings for him. I think I could be ...
A. 8 April 2014: SLOWWWWW down! The "love" feeling you're feeling is actually called limerence. It's an involuntary state of mind - an almost uncontrollable state of attraction that has you thinking about him morning noon and night. Butterflies, euphoria, ... (read in full...)
A bridal shower the second time around?
Q. Ok, so if you have been widowed young and get remarried again, is it improper to have a bridal shower if you had one the first time?...
A. 7 April 2014: Yikes. Yeah, a bridal shower is thrown for you, not you throwing it yourself. I'm actually surprised that they would treat someone who was widowed like this.
Does this mean your bridesmaids won't want to go to the wedding reception that's b... (read in full...)
A bridal shower the second time around?
Q. Ok, so if you have been widowed young and get remarried again, is it improper to have a bridal shower if you had one the first time?...
A. 7 April 2014: If friends of yours want to celebrate for a second time, you are lucky to have such good friends.
I agree with Honeypie in that if you were a frequent marryer, it would be different, but someone who was widowed and re-marrying, why not?? I... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but want to have sex with a married man
Q. I am 26 years old I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, he is 20 years older than me. We bought a house together last year, I love him more than anything but the spark in our sex life has dissapeared. I want to have sex with someone else, there ...
A. 7 April 2014: Let me get this straight -- so just because your older boyfriend takes you for granted, you believe that a married man who betrays his wife and devastates his family is a better choice?? Seriously??
A 10-second orgasm. If you're lucky enough t... (read in full...)
I want to use this meeting to get closure
Q. Hi My question is next weekend I will meeting my ex to return his dvds. It’s been 3 months since our breakup and this will be the first time we’ll meet. I am dreading this meet up but another reason to meet up is to get closure. We were togethe...
A. 5 April 2014: The one thing you can do to prepare is to decide now what you want the OUTCOME of the meeting to be. Getting closure is too broad of an intention. Is it to hear that he made a mistake? Is it to hear that he misses you? Is it to hear that he has ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 4 April 2014: I saw something glaringly obvious here:
You were all into this ex who dumped you because she was a long distance relationship.
You married this childhood girl because she salved your ego and you wanted to make your ex jealous. When your ex did... (read in full...)
Has any woman here suffered from PMS and been able to 'manage' it without taking anti-depressants?
Q. Has any woman here suffered from PMS and been able to 'manage' it without taking anti-depressants? I start to feel extremely weak and depressed about 5-7 days before my period. Often I feel nausea and for about 5 days before my sleep pattern is...
A. 2 April 2014: I agree with Honeypie! EXERCISE! It does a body good, and helps PMS a lot! So do orgasms. Caffiene makes the anxiety/irritability worse.
You mentioned your sleep patterns. You may want to start there when you talk to your doctor, because ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend has been talking to another girl!
Q. Hey everyone so i've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and we live together. back in February we was fighting a lot. It was every single day all day. it got to the point where we really hated each other. In march we fought a lot as ...
A. 2 April 2014: So what is the problem exactly, except that it hurt you that he was doing the exact same thing you were doing to him? You were cheating on him emotionally, but when it came back that he was doing the same, you're hurt. You never thought that while ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I won't be enough for him and I panic every time I put on a little weight!
Q. I'm an ex-chubby girl who's a major nerd and kinda antisocial. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. At the beginning I thought he adored me and i felt really confident and comfortable with myself. I'd also just lost weight, which helped. A few ...
A. 2 April 2014: The only weight I'd have lost is however much HE weighs. There's no way I would forgive the way he treated you.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to look at other women and come to the conclusion that some are better than my wife?
Q. Is it wrong to look at other women if you find yourself thinking they are better than your wife in some way? For example you see a woman who has long shapely legs, and you catch yourself thinking for a second she has nicer legs than your wife. I ...
A. 26 March 2014: Constant comparison is actually the first step in cheating. You have crossed over from admiring other women's beauty to having a wandering eye.
The problem is is that when you make comparisons, your wife *always* loses. Ever notice that? N... (read in full...)
I need some help getting through a terrible break up.
Q. I've been suffering through a terrible break up and I need some encouraging words and help to get through it. My gf and I were together about two years. We split on Sunday because she couldn't handle a relationship anymore. She deeply suffers f...
A. 26 March 2014: Actually, it may not feel like it, but this actually could be the best thing for both of you as individuals and possibly as a couple.
The way you described your relationship showed some warning signs of codependency to me. What that means is... (read in full...)
His idea of a compliment left me troubled
Q. Hi. I would be grateful for some opinions please. My partner of ten years has never paid me many compliments but the other day, he said he had been watching me sleep and had made a decision. He said he thought to himself, "Yeah, she`ll do". He said ...
A. 26 March 2014: I think this is a matter of context based on your life of the past 10 years. That says something, when it comes to 10 years and he's not copious with compliments. That tells me one thing - that he feels embarrassed and uncomfortable with words ... (read in full...)
My Gf finds flatulence disgusting. I am afraid to share a bed with her because of it. What can I do?
Q. i cant sleep at night with my gf, we have been together for two years now but we are LD, we have reach a very acceptable level of comfort with each other, but i cant still pass gas in front of her, not yet. she finds it disgusting. Every nigh...
A. 25 March 2014: Geeze, does she have no experience in relationships?? She had better never get married or have male children, that's all I have to say.
The fact that you're LD is interesting here - you've been together, but you haven't been. Beano is good at ... (read in full...)
What are the pros and cons of a long engagement?
Q. What are the pros and cons of a long engagement? I have a feeling he will propose in a few months but I am not sure what my feelings are about it. I mean I love him, and I want to marry him. But right now, we're both earning very little a...
A. 25 March 2014: Mine was a 4-year engagement. We both had things we wanted to accomplish before we married, primarily our educations. The pros were that we let the world know that our relationship was serious and headed for marriage, and the cons were the level ... (read in full...)
Is asking this question a good way to find out if girls are interested in me?
Q. I have made a habit of asking girls I like "were you waiting for me". I do this when visiting a shop, coming to work etc., to gauge their interest in me, from girls I know. I have received emphatic "no's" and I have no doubt that means no, nix, nyet ...
A. 25 March 2014: Oh *god* no. It comes off as a cheap line, to be honest, along the lines of "How would you like your eggs, fried, scrambled, or fertilized?" In fact, you scare away girls who would be interested in you with that line!
You need confiden... (read in full...)
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