A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is really, I guess, a question about etiquette. I am a vegetarian and the guy that I am seeing is not. He's been doing a lot for me lately and I want to try and return the favor, so I said I would cook him dinner one night soon. My issue is, if I don't eat meat but he does, would it be wrong if I were to cook a vegetarian dish? I know a lot of people consider the meat to be the main part of their meal and I also know that a lot of guys are averse to the idea of being vegetarians/not eating meat. What do I do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2014): You said you were cooking for him to do something for HIM since he'd done to much for you. Cook what HE likes, even if that includes meat. The point is it's for him.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 January 2014):
 Mmmmm, pesto tortellini...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): Not at all!
As a guy who loves eating meat, I can tell you the aversion to vegetarianism is the permanent nature of it. No guy is averse to going one meal without meat!
Especially if it's prepared by a vegetarian. Assuming he knows you are one, he's probably expecting a vegetarian dish anyway.
Cook him whatever you want. Cooking meat would certainly be a nice gesture if that's what you choose, but you are definitely under no obligation to do so. As long as it's tasty and filling, he'll love it.
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (25 January 2014):
 I think you should cook him what you want too.
I have vegetarian friends and I cook vegetarian meals for them (and must admit they're delicious).
When I go to theirs they cook vegetarian meals for me.
My friends don't eat or handle meat because it's a huge ethical and passionate issue for them. I would never want them to cook something for me that caused them aversion or went against their beliefs (even if they're different to my own).
Your boyfriend eats meat because he enjoys it but that doesn't mean he is unable to enjoy a meat free meal.
I don't know your reasons for being a vegetarian but don't feel compromised into abandoning your beliefs for the sake of a meal.
My best friend is veggie and her husband isn't, they've been married for over 25 years. My friend never handles, prepares or cooks meat as she is totally against it but her husband will prepare meat for himself and their children if they wish to have it.
Pasta in a tomato sauce with cheese, mushroom risotto, vegetable casserole and ricotta and sundried tomatoes wrapped in puff pastry are all very easy, filling and delicious. I don't think he'll even notice that the meat is missing :)
I think it's all about respect for each others beliefs.
I hope you have a lovely meal :)
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2014):
 I'm not a vegetarian, but we still have "meat-less days" much to hubby's aversion lol. But he still enjoys the food.
I do baked pasta with a homemade tomato sauce (without meat) and add some cheese on top and bake it for 15 min. It's pretty good. I make it WITH meat too from time to time.
I do stuffed mushrooms (no meat) just with cooked rice, spices and cheese. Sides are usually baked veggies.
My mom cooked a lot of Greek/Italian dishes growing up (all vegetarian) and they were awesome. Like Moussaka with Eggplant. YUM.
Go for it, COOK something GREAT and I don't' think he will care that it's non-meat.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): I'd say don't include meat, from my personal experience. My husband is vegetarian, and I'm not, but to be honest at this point I've sorta become one 99.9% of the time simply because we share meals.Are you planning to sit and watch him eat? or perhaps you plan to eat something different? If you want to SHARE a meal, it'll have to be vegetarian right? Besides, this is a great time to prove to him that vegetarian meals can be tasty!It's probably fair tho to give him a heads up, say something like "I'll show you how tasty vegetarian food can be"Don't mess with tofu or meat substitutes unless you've used them in the past and know how... from my experience, first-timers often slip up with those.Think beans, curries, potatoes, zucchini, vegetarian chili, pasta! (vegetarian ravioli/lasagna/tortellini YUM), gnocchi, spinach/cheese dishes, spring rolls, noodle bowls, stir fry!, rice.... now I'm hungry :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 January 2014):
 No you don't. Not every single meal HAS to include meat, if it did probably we'd all have gout.
Maybe you would not ask this question if you were born Italian :) Our cuisine includes plenty of delicious, and filling, vegetable MAIN courses. ( Some include eggs and cheese as ingredients, which some vegetarians do not have a problem with, but there are also tasty dishes totally vegetable based ).
Eggplant Parmesan . Sicilian " caponata " . Vegetable meatballs. Artichoke fritters. Fried rice and mozzarella croquettes . Vegetarian lasagna. Zucchini flan. I could go on and on , but... I have to go check how my potato gratin with olives and capers is coming along :).
So, get your cookbooks out , or just get creative, you can do something yummy even without meat and you don't have to feel you are cheating him out of anything.
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (25 January 2014):
 i'm vegetarian too, and i cooked veggie meals for my boyfriend :) i wouldn't touch meat at all.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 January 2014):
 You don't have to include meat as long as the main dish is filling. Eggplant casserole, beet soup, a good baked potato with nutritional yeast or a butter substitute (if you also don't eat butter), green beans with shaved almonds, any number of proteins that are filling will do nicely.
You can go tofu as well, but that works best in a Chinese cuisine. It's my preference, but when I eat with vegetarians, I prefer creative veggie dishes to getting a meat substitute processed meal, because most of the time, they taste fake, and not in a "veggie" way, in a "weird chemical process" way. A good exception is veggie burgers from Trader Joe's. Those are delicious, and in the summer char-grilled, it's so good!
Mushrooms, stuffed peppers, tomato soup with grilled cheese (if you eat cheese), there are many good dishes out there. Roasted red bell pepper soup with croutons and a spinach salad? You're now making me hungry!
You don't have to be a gourmet chef, and you don't have to serve food that mimics meat. You need a good protein and a decent filling starch, and good vibrant flavors.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): I think most people are fine that there will be no meat, if you tell them ahead of time so they can adjust their expectations. it's something about you he should learn to get used to.
I have vegan friends, and I cook vegan.
I don't eat beef.
I may have bacon, but I rarely touch pork. Eating bison is a part of my heritage. I've had it all my life. My grandfather used to hunt, so venison and elk was served at his table. I don't touch it now. It's only fish, chicken, or bison for me. I have made exceptions without protest, if invited to dinner. I eat vegan three times a week.
I think he expects you to serve vegan. You don't have meat in your fridge. Do you?
However; offer to take him out for a meat dinner on occasion. It's always nice to compromise. If you expect him to eat only vegan for your sake, that wouldn't be fair.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): I took the view that being a veggie is my choice, not my guests.
When I was with my ex and her kids I wouldn't think twice about preparing meat. It was what they ate and I felt it was wrong to impose my beliefs onto someone else. I would make veggie dishes and they enjoyed them, but if that was the case I made sure that they knew in advance.
When it came to cooking steak though, I left that to my ex, I didn't have a clue!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): Use a meat substitute like Quorn or something if you like. OP most meat eaters don't "need" meat every time we eat, we're usually fine not eating it.
Find out what he likes and can't eat, no point in asking us.
I personally wouldn't mind as long as it wasn't habit. Frankly it annoys me when vegetarians expect me to cater for their tastes yet don't have the same consideration for me.
As long as food tastes good and is filling then I can go without meat for a meal or two. The idea that you would cook him meat with the dish is a very considerate approach which he'll appreciate though. In my opinion it's a very respectful position to take and he'l have no reason to feel you're imposing your lifestyle on him.
In other words OP, just ask him, see how serious about meat he is. I'd say he won't mind at all.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 January 2014):
 No I don't think you should. My bf is vegetarian and I'm not and I would never expect him to serve me meat.
Not only that, but usually when vegetarians cook meat, they tend to either cook it badly, or I've even had one give everyone food poisoning!
Just cook something delicious and vegetarian where he won't notice the meat missing, like a potato egg curry or a pasta dish.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): I don't think you HAVE to - many vegetarians wouldn't go anywhere near meat.
Most meat-eaters eat fruit and vegetables as well so seeing vegetables on his plate is hardly going to be alien to him.
So long as the food looks and tastes good I don't think he'd mind unless he's one of those people who hates all vegetables.
I would assume, if a vegetarian was cooking for me, that the food was going to vegetarian so hopefully your date knows you're vegetarian and will assume the same.
If your vegetarianism hasn't come up yet - mention it casually and ask him if there's any vegetables that he really dislikes so you can avoid them
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (25 January 2014):
 First, are you a vegetarian by preference or conviction? That is, do you avoid meat because you feel physically better that way, or is it because you have ethical concerns? If you are opposed to meat on principle, then you're sending the wrong message to him (that you don't have the courage of your convictions) if you serve it to him.
If it's just a preference, then the next question is can you cook it well? Far better to serve him a tasty, well-prepared vegetarian meal than a steak with the consistency of leather. Since my daughter opted to be a vegetarian we've had to try a lot of meat-free recipies. Some include meat substitutes (in things like spagetti sauce) where I can't tell the difference. Others, like our canelloni recipe, don't even pretend they have meat, and again are tasty and fairly filling.
Lastly, if you don't object and you can cook meat well, then it would be a nice gesture to serve it to him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): If you were to cook him meat it would show that you really really like him. So I would do it. Maincourse steak, or chicken. Starter vegetarian and pudding.
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