A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, my boyfriend, ex I should say, broke it off with me "unofficially" by disappearing 2 weeks ago. He told me he loved me by text, had nothing to offer, blah blah blah and then disappeared. The last thing he ever said to me was "I love you...". It wasn't until yesterday he'd been spotted on facebook. I'm not deleting him as he wanted to be a coward and run away therefore he can either, delete me, or sit and look at me moving on with my life.I noticed he's got a new phone as it said he'd started using facebook for android, but I know he can't afford that type of phone as he was in a horrible financial situation (umemployed 2 weeks ago) and sometimes wouldn't even have 10 bucks in his pocket. Anyway, it appears he's got a new phone (new number too I'm assuming) and made no attempt at speaking to me since the 9th of this month so I got tired of it and let his ass go. He'd done this before just not this long. So, I said fuck it and am moving on.He hasn't said *anything* to me in 2 weeks tomorrow so I'm well aware it's over and done. However, he's only posting status updates right after I do. Such as, I posted yesterday how I've started working out and lost 2 lbs over the last 2 weeks. Right after, he posted a status update about him working this wonderful new job. But his closest friend asked him where and he didn't reply.Then earlier I posted that I was heading off to the gym, I was feeling great and very motivated. Right after that he posted a status talking about how it's a good day for a plumber and water being all around him. His closest friend yet again commented and asked him why he's on facebook if he's supposed to be a plumber and at work. He didn't reply back to that either.I know this sounds stupid but I KNOW, for a fact, because I was with him long enough, that he's still watching me and posting these things to get me to notice. My question is, why? He's the one left me. I know he's doing it just to get my attention but I don't understand why seeing he's the one bailed on me. Any idea what he's thinking?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 I don't spend a lot of time contemplating what's in the toilet before I flush it…. just sayin'.
Sorry for that, there were a couple of poop-related questions this week and for some reason, that analogy came to mind. Sorry for all those trying to enjoy a meal. Oh, and if you are eating dinner or breakfast or lunch, get off the internet and eat mindfully!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 January 2014):
 he does it to bug you.. NOTE it's WORKING.
BLOCK HIM on facebook.. he can't see YOU, you can't see him even if he comments on mutual friends pages... it will seem like they are talking to themselves.
as for what he's thinking... why do you need to figure that out... he's old news, he's your history... figuring out what he's thinking NOW won't fix the past or make the future better.
block him and move on... if you want to piss him off that will do it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2014):
Who cares what he's thinking?
Block him and move on. Let him think he's making an impact on you when you are free of him.
It's very creepy, when you think about it.
Lose the loser, block him on FB and go enjoy life! You are creep-free, celebrate!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 As long as you allow him to do so.... he has got free rent in your head!!!! How long will you be so generous?
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 January 2014):
 LOL he sounds like he is TRYING to get your attention and BINGO he did.
BLOCK him from YOUR feeds and BLOCK his feeds (he can't see that you blocked those).
And since you are so adamant about moving on, I would honestly just un-friend and BLOCK his dumb-ass. Because the more he annoys you and YOU pay attention to him, the longer it will ACTUALLY take to move on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 Reading between the lines, you sound hurt and upset. If it wasn't bothering you, you'd probably not even give his FB another thought.
It's possible he is scoping you out, maybe just out of curiosity. Even if a bloke dumps a woman, he will still be curious to see if she moves on before him...call it an ego thing. The main thing to consider is the fact that he isn't calling you or asking for another chance but maybe it's just a little too soon!
You have the perfect opportunity to play the grown up and really move on with your life. You remove him from FB and focus elsewhere. It will also benefit you, because you won't be tempted to spy on his stuff, won't be hurt if you see he is dating someone else and you are cutting off his route to annoying you with his 'enigmatic' posts.
It's so obvious that you are hurting but you seem like a tough woman who will recover. Turn your attentions to you and do not think about him. If it's over, you don't need to hang around...if he wants you he can call you and not play silly games to get your attention.
Good luck and keep your chin up xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): You say he should be the one to delete you so you won't take that action. Yet here you are, wondering why he posts what he does when he does. You are keeping it to punish him somehow but I think you need to be mature about this.
Delete him, you are not doing yourself any favours one upping him.on facebook by showing him what he's lost.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 January 2014):
 You said he was in a bad financial situation and had lost his job 2 weeks ago?? I'd be willing to believe that he went through a financial crisis that he couldn't bear to have you see, like a foreclosure, eviction, or repossession. He could have, at age 30-something, be sponging cell service from a mother, father, sister, brother, etc.
It's telling that he didn't delete you from his Facebook. I'd be willing to bet that he'll contact you again once he gets back onto his feet. But he is a coward, but I'm guessing it's because some really ego-blasting calamity befell him. A financial lawsuit, or insurance fraud, or IRS issue, anything like that.
As for you, don't let that get you feeling sorry for him. He should have manned up and told you that he was going to go away for a bit to sort out some difficulties. Definitely extreme depression is playing out for him, but real men don't flake out like that and disappear on their girlfriends via text. That alone should be a dealbreaker in terms of considering him for any kind of serious relationship. If he bails when things get rough, what will he do in a marriage or domestic living situation? If there's a pregnancy or another job loss or a death in the family? Will he bail and leave you high and dry again when life gets hard?
Don't chase him. Don't run after him at all. He needs to face problems like a mature adult, like we all must do. You said he did this before? Yep, he has a huge history of flaking out. If he comes back and expects you'll be there for him, don't be. He has no reason to change if people just wait for him and he doesn't realize how much his immature behavior hurts people.
If he's done it before, maybe this time you really do stay broken up with him and move on for good. Maybe it *is* time to block his Facebook. You aren't college age anymore, so you have no more time to waste on flakes. Stop communicating to him passive-aggressively on Facebook.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 I agree, block him, that will cause him more bother than anything else you could do, or , if you want to have a few days stirring before you block his sorry ass, start making bs posts .... "OMG bumped into *inert celebrity* coming out of the gas station and he asked for my number*
*found a wallet on the sidewalk containing $500,000 in cash, I never saw that much money, there was lots of ID so I called the owner and he gave me $10,000 reward*
*amazing things happen in threes, I wonder what will be next! can't wait*
and then block him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): You know him best. I mean you're pretty sure that he's posting these things for your benefit so you're in the best position to judge his motives.
He could be hedging his way towards a reconcilliation
He could be gloating
He could be trying to provoke a response from you
He could just be trying to mess with your head by trying to make you wonder what he's up to ..... and it's working isn't it?
Just as much as he's sitting and looking at you moving on with your life, he's got you potentially doing the same thing to him.
So if you really can't manage to see his posts without wondering what his motive is, you'll either have to delete or block him or take a "holiday" from facebook for a while
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (23 January 2014):
 I couldn't possibly explain any rationale behind it. Because he's an idiot? That's the best I can give you.
This isn't what you're asking for, but just stop worrying about it. Easier said than done, I know. But he made his bed. Let him lie in it. He's an idiot and a coward. Stop worrying about what he's doing any why and worry about yourself. Block his ass and move on. That will bother him more than anything you could post on Facebook.
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