A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I have a question.Well, me and my boyfriend have a mutual friend who is a girl. She's known my boyfriend before him and I even got together, and she is more his friend than mine. I don't know her that well, but have talked to her and been around her. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or just crazy but I notice something weird going on at times. In a way, she's very flirty with my boyfriend and seems to try and talk to him very often. She knows me and him are together. My boyfriend isn't the cheating type at all, but he does talk to her often and doesn't seem to notice the flirting.My boyfriend is very open about his past and has told me about his past girlfriends, so he would have definitely told me if he use to like her or anything. It doesn't seem like anything has gone on between them, but then again I don't know for sure. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how much is too much and what is going over the line when it comes to friendships while you're in a relationship?I'm not trying to come in between my boyfriend and his friends, but her flirting and them talking so much is a little much for me. What does everyone else think about this?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 January 2014):
 Actually, I think you're okay and don't have anything to worry about! I say this because of what you say here:
"My boyfriend isn't the cheating type at all, but he does talk to her often and doesn't seem to notice the flirting."
That bodes well for you. The guy has known her longer than he's known you, so his being oblivious to her flirting means he has ZERO feelings for her. As for her, trust me, to a guy who's not interested, over-flirting eventually becomes clingy and obnoxious to the guy.
As for how much they talk, if it's a constant thing, and she keeps calling and texting constantly, again he'll get annoyed by it and distance himself from her. Otherwise, if she's interrupting date night or dinner times or special times between him and you, you have the right to ask him to keep it just him and you at those times.
Otherwise, if she's self-aware, she'll get the hint and move on. Otherwise, he'll brush her aside if she gets too much. Either way, he's not showing interest in her. Ask him to take you out on the town or to a weekend hotel or bed and breakfast, and shut off all phones and internet and make it a you and him mini-vacation!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): I guess you should talk to your boyfriend about it. Just be an adult, be calm. If a guy was being too flirty with my girlfriend. I would calmly tell him that's not cool.If I felt she was leading him on or flirting back, I would talk to her. You just need to communicate. Don't Just keep quiet.
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