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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What makes a perfect dad?
Q. Hi me and my wife are having a child in October. Can anyone tell me what a dads role is? What makes a perfect dad? ...
A. 18 June 2008: (oh my God, that was so long. Sorry!)... (read in full...)
What makes a perfect dad?
Q. Hi me and my wife are having a child in October. Can anyone tell me what a dads role is? What makes a perfect dad? ...
A. 18 June 2008: Congratulations!! You sound like you're already going to be a perfect Dad because you ask this question and seem to have your heart in a wonderful place.
My Dad has always been a perfect father to me, so I thought I'd tell you a little bit of w... (read in full...)
I want to meet an online friend who lives in Italy... should I make him come to the UK first?
Q. I have met a man on line - we've been talking since February and would like to meet. He is in Rome, Italy and I am in Hertfordshire, UK. We've spoken over the phone and I've checked him out (I wasn't meaning to be devious but I had to do it ...
A. 18 June 2008: Hi there,
Well, I would feel the same way you do. Whether or not it's fair or weird, for your own safety reasons, you'd like him to come visit you first. If he makes a proficient amount of money, this shouldn't be any problem. I think that he ... (read in full...)
Am I spending too much time 'down there' on my guy or not?? What do you all think?
Q. I don't know if this a problem or what! I LOVE to go down on my man(he loves it to). I think i can do it for HOURS(no joke). I love to make him feel good(that not the only way i can make him feel good). I really enjoys it also. Do you think i spend ...
A. 16 June 2008: No! Seems like you two are perfect for each other. You love doing it, he loves receiving it... this is the perfect situation, is it not? I'll bet every guy who reads this question is dying of jealousy, because your man is "one LUCKY SON OF A BITCH" ... (read in full...)
Not sure I want children, will I regret this?
Q. Evening everyone. I come from a large Italian family and Im due to marry my fiance who is also Italian in October. My problem is that im not sure I want children. I have discussed this with my fiance and he is convinced that in a few years I will...
A. 15 June 2008: Hi sweet,
Everyone else had said it - things change in time, but it's also not a crime to not want kids. Some people don't and that's totally okay, your own choice and normal.
The only thing I wanted to add in (though you specifically sai... (read in full...)
Hurt because he wanted me to get STI checked and use condoms!
Q. My boyfriend have had sex before but he always wants to wear a condom when I give him head. I like doing it but even the flavored condoms taste sooo weird to me. I wish he would just take it off and relax! We've both been tested for STDs and ...
A. 15 June 2008: Your boyfriend is clearly concerned for both of your health. This is actually kind of sweet - don't get offended that he wanted to "play it safe", have you both get checked and use condoms. He does this for both of you and your safety. If he knows ... (read in full...)
Did I loose my virginity or am I just on my period???
Q. ok this is how it went down...last night my boyfriend tried to finger me but it hurted so i told him to stop, so we tried again but it still hurted...so we stopped trying...he told me my hole was too tight and it was hard to go in...i went to the ...
A. 15 June 2008: Hi darling,
Well, I'll tell you one thing: you didn't lose your virginity.Even if you broke your hymen, your virginity is still intact because it takes a penis penetrating you to officially lose your virginity (lots of exceptions -i.e. lesbians... (read in full...)
Watching lesbian porn with my boyfriend, and I'm enjoying it!
Q. me and my boyfriend have recently been watchin porn togther before having sex and my boyfriend likes to watch lesbian porn because it turns him on alot more, but recently ive noticed that i quite enjoy watchin lesbian porn and it turns me on alot ...
A. 15 June 2008: No, no, no. You're not a lesbian. Not unless you're finding your boyfriend sort of physically repulsive and you lust after women.
I've heard this from SO MANY CHICKS - that they prefer lesbian porn. I have theorized that this is because you can ... (read in full...)
When will sex feel good for me?
Q. Hey, so I had sex with my bf twice last night for the first time. We've tried a couple weeks ago and it hurt too much so we stopped. But then last night it really hurt the first time, so i told him to go slow so he did. He was in about 3/4 the way. ...
A. 15 June 2008: Hey doll,
For me and my man, it took us a MONTH to even get the whole thing inside of me!!! That was a loooong month, let me tell you! After we finally had success with that, it took probably another week or so for me to really start enjoying... (read in full...)
Should I try to get close to her by donating to her sister's charity?
Q. Ok, so I really like this girl: younger, still in college (I'm 23, one year out of school). We dated long distance for a couple months before she broke it off before coming home for the summer. I was affected by this more than I thought I would ...
A. 15 June 2008: Hey there,
Well, let me say that it's NEVER a bad thing to donate to charity. Just make sure that you're doing it with no expectation of love from this lady you're trying to impress. Just do it out of the sheer goodness of your heart and that wil... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend talking like this when we are having sex?
Q. I don't understand my boyfriend's language towards me sometimes. While we'll be having sex, he'll be like "let me hit it from the back" or he'll be like, "i wanna f***" it makes me wonder am i just someone he wants to f***. He does treat me well at ...
A. 14 June 2008: If he is treating you well in all other parts of your relationship, it just sounds like your man likes to talk dirty. I'm sure if you told him it bothered you, he'd stop... but I really think that he's just trying to keep the sex nice and spicy. ... (read in full...)
Any interesting games/ideas that would fire up a mega party for 14 year-olds?
Q. i am having a end of form party for 26 people and have no idea what to do. we are 14 and i know it will start of lame and then get better. but what games shall we play??? Please help...
A. 13 June 2008: I find an awesome way to break the tension is to have a movie playing in the background. That way, if people start to lame out and get awkward, then you have simply turned the evening into a movie night.
Get some awesome food and some music pl... (read in full...)
Can any woman out there find the right words to console him?
Q. hey my boyfriends dog passed away and he really loved it a lot..he would do anything..he is in nebraska right now and i am in nevada..i want to send him a nice msg consoling him,but i am not finding the right words..could anyone(females only)please ...
A. 13 June 2008: Hey sweetness,
the best you can do is to not make him feel silly for being so broken up over the loss of his dog. When my dog died, I was devastated and felt really silly for reacting so poorly. It truly felt like a member of the family died.
... (read in full...)
Is there a solution to my dislike of his dogs?
Q. Dear All: I am having a problem and that's how I got to this site. My new husband of 6 months has two pompekes and his Mom has been taking care of them for a while for us. The dogs came to our new home on Saturday and there is doggy poop all o...
A. 13 June 2008: Hi there,
I really think that he needs to start dealing with his puppies. I mean, having them poop all over the place is just gross. Your husband needs to get these dogs trained and needs to start picking up after them.
I would tell him, ... (read in full...)
I want to do something with my pubic hair, do I have to go to a salon to get a 'landing strip'??
Q. Hey - am having sex with my boyfriend next week and wanted to do something with my pubic hair. I have it trimmed as it is now, but was thinking of maybe getting it done in to a teardrop shape or a "landing strip". Is this something I can do at ...
A. 13 June 2008: Hey sweetness,
I would go to a salon, because as the other Aunts have said, it will look better and feel better. Plus, you can see what they're doing and maybe after you've observed for a little while, then you can try "pubic design" on your own... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginty during our outing with his parents!
Q. ok, so me and my boyfriend are going to a monster truck show and he wants to have sex during our outing (6:00 PM- about 1:00 AM) He says that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just feel like losing my virginity ...
A. 13 June 2008: Yeah, I'm not so sure that I would be dying to give up my virginity at some monster truck show with his parents around. This sort of sounds like some pretty meaningless sex. Memorable, yes (who could forget such a horrid first time??), but not ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the way I look!
Q. i'm really worried about the way i look. people at school are always laughing about people who have cameltoe... the only problem is .. that i have camel toe... is it really that bad? how do you get rid of it? am i the only one? please help ...
A. 11 June 2008: Yay!!... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the way I look!
Q. i'm really worried about the way i look. people at school are always laughing about people who have cameltoe... the only problem is .. that i have camel toe... is it really that bad? how do you get rid of it? am i the only one? please help ...
A. 10 June 2008: I assure you that's what everyones looks like. That's what mine looks like. And all my girl friends. And my sisters. And my Mom. I promise you, you look totally normal.... (read in full...)
We split up for a month and are trying again. Problem is he slept with another girl during the split!
Q. hiya, ive been with danny for over 2 years, we have had a real bad time but always comme through. the last couple of months we were arguing alot and then we split up for a month. last week we bumped into each other and on a good note decided to give ...
A. 10 June 2008: Ahhh, I am so reminded of Ross and Rachel from the show Friends. "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!" (at least, that was Ross's point of view)
Well, I have to feel bad for your fella. He was hurt, on the rebound and was super dumb by lying to you about hi... (read in full...)
I like this guy who keeps asking me for sex and I don't trust him. What do I do?
Q. thre is this guy that i met and he is 17 and i'm 15.he is really cute and i like him. we went out for 2 days and then i broke up with him cause he kept ansking me to hve sex with him and i do not feel like doing that right now and when i tell him ...
A. 10 June 2008: Hey sweetness,
Uncle Sneaker is dead on. You can't trust this dude... he's kind of sketchy and has shown you what he really wants out of you. Even if he pretends to be a nice, trusting guy - YOU'LL KNOW what he's really after. Save your virginit... (read in full...)
Should I feel insecure for my boyfriend going to meet an ex?
Q. Would you feel insecure if your boyfriend went out to meet his ex girlfriend of 6 years with plausable reason? he says he had the intention of you going with him....he is still friends with her and all of his friends are her friends....what advice ...
A. 10 June 2008: Is there a reason you can't go? Did he invite you along? I don't think that there's much to worry about unless he's proven himself untrustworthy in other parts of your relationship. Sometimes a relationship isn't right between two people, but a ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the way I look!
Q. i'm really worried about the way i look. people at school are always laughing about people who have cameltoe... the only problem is .. that i have camel toe... is it really that bad? how do you get rid of it? am i the only one? please help ...
A. 10 June 2008: Well that is INCREDIBLY normal. Every woman is shaped like this. Don't be embarrassed, that is the natural way for a body to look. You are no different from the other billions of women in the universe!!
xx India... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I've been recording our conversations?
Q. recently ive been recording me and my girls conversations without her knowing. i do this so i can play them back later and analyze what she said. should i tell her about this or would that seem sketchy?...
A. 9 June 2008: Wow,
Let me just say - you REALLY need to stop doing this. If I knew my man was doing this, I would have to let him go. That's just way too much for me. You are definitely over-analyzing this poor girl. I think you SHOULD tell her, just because ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the way I look!
Q. i'm really worried about the way i look. people at school are always laughing about people who have cameltoe... the only problem is .. that i have camel toe... is it really that bad? how do you get rid of it? am i the only one? please help ...
A. 9 June 2008: Yes, my sweet... maybe we're not clear on your definition of "camel toe".
The only solution I can think of is to buy bigger pants! Wear
thicker boyshort underwear underneath. Wear skirts, as Emilyanswers suggests..
Good luck, sweetness!
xx... (read in full...)
Should I be up-front about my conception issues?
Q. I found out a few years ago that it will be very difficult for me to conceive naturally. At what point do I tell a man I am considering dating/having a relationship with that I am infertile. Is that a right point to do this? On initial meeting? Once ...
A. 9 June 2008: Tricky... yes, I don't think you should tell a man right up front that you're infertile. You want to get to know the guy before you start talking about babies!! However, I would let him know after date 6-7... (or if you're not going on "dates", I ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to wear wigs during sex...should I be worried?
Q. Hi, my husband wants me to wear a wig and sometimes a mask when we have sex, do you think this is a bad sign? Does this mean that he wants to imagine himself with other women?? or is it just harmless fun, should i be worried??...
A. 5 June 2008: Hi there,
First things first: is this every single time you have sex, or occasionally? Because if this is an occasional thing, I would say there's no problems. Dressing up can be fun - wigs can spice things up and masks... um, I guess if you're i... (read in full...)
Why would you put a picture and you and your ex on facebook?
Q. Hi all, Me and ex g\f broke up about 3 months ago. We keep in touch every few weeks, just to say 'hi' and catch up. She does not want reconciliation Anyway, i have just logged onto Facebook and she has just posted a picture of me and her o...
A. 3 June 2008: Okay, I guess I'm just pretty relaxed about the whole "ex" situation. Maybe she just thinks she looks good in the picture. Maybe she thinks that things have cooled down enough to where you can just be friends. Maybe she found it in her computer and ... (read in full...)
He told me some awful things. Are all men like this?
Q. Hi, ok I have a SERIOUS problem. I've been madly in love with my boyfriend over the past year or so and we are having a child together. I want to make an extremely long story short so here it goes...we've battled drugs, and sex together. We've ...
A. 3 June 2008: Those fantasies are big RED ALARMS going off in my head. Imagine, 10 years down the line, he's done something absolutely monstrous and you'll look back and say "well, at least he warned me".
He says he is capable of killing a little girl and not ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to feel this angry and jealous about othe rpeoples success?
Q. Hi,im hoping to get some advice on a situation. My cousin who is younger and more attractive than myself was spotted by a modelling agency (its not a bogus thing or anything she has had a few jobs)now she will be doing a catwalk for top designer...
A. 1 June 2008: I would say that yes, it's normal. I would be crazy jealous if my cousin got picked up for a modeling agency and was suddenly the big, beautiful star walking on a catwalk.
I would say go and support her - because remember. Even though you're j... (read in full...)
I got a present for my boyfriend! Should I mention it or not?
Q. I got a present for my boyfriend. I'm so excited about giving it to him, but at the same time, I don't want to tell him what it is until I see him. Do you think it's annoying that I told him I got him a present but I can't tell him what it is? Is it ...
A. 31 May 2008: I am just like you. I love blowing the surprise. When I get someone a gift, I'm dying to say, "guess whaaaaattt??? I got a giiiift for you!!!". Usually I do. And usually it's not as fun.
I really recommend holding it in and making it a complete... (read in full...)
Is this rape or sexual assault?
Q. i have a problem with my boyfriend - he wants sex and every time he tries to put his penis inside of me it really hurts. Last time we tried to do this he would not stop trying and I ended up crying - he then became violent and covered my mouth up ...
A. 30 May 2008: You are right to be wary.
Maybe you should ask a guy friend or some of your girlfriends to go to his house with you so that you can pick up your stuff and leave. I think you know as well as the rest of us do - you need to ditch your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Will guys see me as a slut now?
Q. I was wondering if i was a slut. Its been on my mind for a while now. I am 15 and I am not in a relationship but lost my virginity recently. He wasn't my bf, but i really like him and don't regret it. Well anyway I did most things with him (bj, ...
A. 30 May 2008: Well, first off - it depends how classy the guy that you did it with is!! If you got any sort of reputation, it would be because of him, I almost guarantee it. If he goes off and brags to all his friends about how you guys did it, blah blah blah, ... (read in full...)
He wants to try a new sex position. Is he bored with me?
Q. me and my partner of 9 months have only recently started to have sex. about 2 months but we use the same positions. He wants to try a new postioion does this mean he is bored? x...
A. 29 May 2008: Doesn't mean he's bored, just means that he's having fun switching it up with you. Variety can be so much fun and make your sex life that much better! Experiment with some different moves and you may find something that is surprisingly amazing.
... (read in full...)
Is this bachelor party a celebration of marriage or cheating?
Q. hi so i found out my bf went for a bachelore party. he told me they had normal strippers. unfortunately i found out, that those "strippers" were fingering each other and using other stuff to please themseves infront of the guys and also giving d...
A. 28 May 2008: These strippers sound pretty lousy and pretty slutty. Seriously, where did they hire these guys? From a street corner or porn studio? Most professional strippers will remain completely professional and even if they did get THAT dirty, it would cost ... (read in full...)
We know what a 69 is but whats a 35?? Are there any more numbers that mean sexual acts??
Q. me and my friend were wondering whats 35, we know whats a 69...and would there happen to be more of these that mean sexual acts??...
A. 27 May 2008: Don't know what a 35 could possibly be (but I have given my boyfriend the task of figuring it out. He's very excited. We'll see what he comes up with).
However, Cosmopolitan coined the 77, which essentially is glorified side by side sex. Here's h... (read in full...)
I had anal sex and I'm bleeding
Q. hi im 14 almost 15 ive been with this boy 1 year 5 months and i really love him but today i had anal sex with him unprotected for my first time it hurt a bit and he stopped but i noticed that there was like some bleeding and he cummed in me too and ...
A. 26 May 2008: By the by, butt sex is a very, very, VERY easy way to pick up an STD's. Just because it's in the butt doesn't mean it's safe - in fact it's much less safe.
I would go to the doctor just in case.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to give oral? I've been trying for years!
Q. i want to give my husband oral sex but every time i put his penis in my mouth i start to gag and i dont like the feeling. i have been trying for years to give him oral does any one have any tips how to over come this problem i have as i really want ...
A. 26 May 2008: Perhaps your method is too much for you. Maybe you should take a shower together beforehand (that way he's nice and clean and doesn't have any leftover funk from a sweaty summer day) and then instead of putting him all in your mouth at once - go for ... (read in full...)
Information about the first time needed!
Q. Dear Cupid, Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and we haven't been sexually active. We are both virgins and plan on having sex together soon. My problem is, since I've never had sex, I dont know much about it. So I wan...
A. 25 May 2008: Hello,
For me, my first time was super painful. Luckily, I have a very sweet, very considerate, and VERY PATIENT boyfriend. It ended up taking exactly one month to be successful - he just couldn't fit in until then! It was okay though, because ... (read in full...)
Do all guys get grossed out by kissing their partner after she gives you head?
Q. okay i have a question for all of you guys out there (girls feel free to answer if youve been in this situation). okay do all guys get grossed out by kissing thier partner after she gives you head? my boy friend doesnt want to kiss me after ive ...
A. 23 May 2008: AMEN "DiovanLestat".
For real. My boyfriend, for one, scoops me up and gives me a big ol' kiss after every time. Then again, my boyfriend doesn't have these silly hangups about his body.
Your boyfriend needs to get over himself. It's HI... (read in full...)
I am secretly in love with my cousin.
Q. PLEASE DO NOT answer the following question with morals and personal opinions of how it is wrong or disgusting (insert hurtful comment here). ALSO no other arguments against my preference whether that be Science, Law or experience. I have a cousi...
A. 23 May 2008: Hey sweetness,
I'm not here to give you criticism for your crush, but I am playing devil's advocate a little bit. I think that attracting your cousin may be difficult because when I think of MY cousin (who I also grew up playing with and spending... (read in full...)
Is every day too much sex?
Q. Hi guys Id just like to know whether its wrong to have sex with your girlfriend each and every day,we are having a long distance relationship and sometimes I don't see her 4 months and when I dont see her I don't think about sex oftenly and I never ...
A. 21 May 2008: Nothing wrong with having sex every day. As long as both of you are feeling it, happy and enjoying yourselves, have as much sex as you want!! (just make sure you're safe, blah blah blah, you know that lecture).
Enjoy, sweetness!
xx India... (read in full...)
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