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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 24 September 2008: Hi!
I'm 22 and I go to school (theater major... useless, yes) and then I work at Victoria's Secret and Under U 4 Men (a men's underwear store). So I'm pretty much the authority on undergarments!! Lol.
A great question, I can't wait to check ba... (read in full...)
Could this be my period?
Q. I've had all of the signs of getting my period, (I haven't started yet), and today I had a round, kind of biggish brown spot on my underpants. Is this my period?...
A. 24 September 2008: Sounds like it, sweet! Keep your eye out, but I'm thinking that you've started. Congratulations! Go out and buy yourself something girly and special (and some pads or tampons!) to mark the occasion. Hooray!... (read in full...)
He didn't send me a birthday card on Friday, I am deeply hurt and have ignored his calls for the weekend. Should I let him go?
Q. Im a little confused..ive been seeing a great guy for months and although hes a little forgetful we have a ball and i have no other complaints. But...it was my birthday on Friday and even though he had a wedding to go to that morning in England for ...
A. 22 September 2008: Give him a chance to make it up to you. He's probably a flake at sending cards - I know I am. I know my boyfriend is. He doesn't even remember to send his Mother a card. Men, what are you going to do?
Did he call you on your birthday? Did he r... (read in full...)
Is it really petty on my part to feel hurt that certain friends didn't bother to send me a birthday card when I always make a big deal of their birthdays?
Q. Is it really petty on my part to feel hurt that certain friends of mine didn't even think enough to send me a birthday card when I always make a big deal on their birthdays? I guess I am just so disappointed that they didn't think it worth the ...
A. 22 September 2008: It's not wrong to be bummed out. Did your friends do ANYTHING to celebrate your birthday or just blow it off completely? Maybe they prefer different ways of showing you that they care on your birthday. Lord knows plenty of people are horrible at ... (read in full...)
I'm embarrassed to wear braces. I need some honest opinions!
Q. i cant smile because i have teeth missing and out of place. Getting treatment but will take at least 2years. I feel so gutted because realistically how many girls want to date or even be seen with a guy who still wears braces when his aged 18! Come ...
A. 22 September 2008: Hi sweet,
When I was 18, I was dating this 22 year old who was a year into his braces. He was a fellow actor, and we had a ton in common, and to be honest - I never even noticed the braces. I really liked HIM, he was completely talented, cute as ... (read in full...)
He embarassed me by getting drunk. Should I dump him or I should give him another chance again?
Q. My boyfriend and me went a bar together. Well he end up getting drunk off his a__ (I don't really drink.) I went to the bathroom. I get back and he was dancing on the table. It so embarrassing having to get off the table well everyone was looking at ...
A. 20 September 2008: Hello, my darling...
To be honest, I don't think that this incident is dump-worthy. Not if this guy has been a good boyfriend to you until now. Maybe you just shouldn't go to the bars with him - if he goes out with the guys, you stay home, wa... (read in full...)
He has no respect for girls who show a lot of skin. How can he say that?
Q. Me and my bf are both 19 and I feel that there is alot of inconsistencies in what my bf does and says. My bf has posters on his bedroom wall of half naked women. This really offends me. I find it degrading and disgusting and whenever I go ov...
A. 20 September 2008: Your boyfriend is a royal scum bag. Respect yourself and do what's best for YOU -- get out of this lame relationship. Your boyfriend has really scary habits, really backwards morals and is a liar. Whatever you think is good in this relationship - ... (read in full...)
My parents think it's wrong for me to date a black guy, is this racist?
Q. My mom and dad are soo protective. i like this black guy...alot and he likes me. but my parents think it is wrong for a white girl to date a black boy. i think thats racsism. but me and this boy have been talking for a year and we tell each other ...
A. 14 September 2008: Listen, sweetness... I am the product of a mixed marriage that has been strong, full of love and really, completely normal. It makes me so sad and disappointed that people still are seeing color as a personality trait. I certainly don't notice that ... (read in full...)
We found my best friend on a porn website, what should we do??
Q. I honestly don't know what to do! Me and my boyfriend decided to look at some porn on the internet together to try it out and see whether it was fun or not. Whilst we were looking, we found a website for people to post pictures of themselves on it ...
A. 12 September 2008: Hi sweetness,
YES, it is totally normal that your boyfriend got a little turned. Completely natural and please don't worry - he is probably feeling just as weird about it as you are. And while maybe the thought of your friend nekkid is a little s... (read in full...)
How could she be so careless with birth control?
Q. Hi, im 25 and my girlfirend 23. i am a college student with one more year to go. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. I took her virginity and we never use condoms. at first we used pull-out method, but after a few pregnancy scares, ...
A. 3 September 2008: Hello, my darling -
So she's flaky. I am too. So, I got a different kind of birth control... one that I don't have to remember to take every day. I use the Nuva ring, but there are lots and lots and lots of options for her. The Pill is not the ... (read in full...)
I am invited to his flat to watch TV and stay for the night, how can I feel more relaxed? I don't want him to know that I have never dated etc.
Q. I am looking for some advice/help. I am in my late 20s and have never had a boyfriend/relationship (sad I know) ever because I had strict parents and then when I was older I was never really interested. However, I find myself for the first time...
A. 3 September 2008: Yes, I think you ought to try traditional dating for awhile. You don't know each other very well and are at the beginning of this relationship... I don't think that spending the night is the best idea. It's moving awfully fast.
Dinner & a movie, m... (read in full...)
I think newlyweds should live alone, so I dislike the thought of living with my MIL after marriage! Am I reading into this too much?
Q. I have been with my partner for 3 years now and a few weeks ago, we become engaged and have started to plan a wedding in disney, florida in 2010. a few weeks/months before he proposed, we began thinking about seriously moving to florida. He is 27, ...
A. 3 September 2008: I think that marriage is stressful enough to adjust to without your Mother-In-Law living under the same roof. Is she not capable of living independently? If she is capable, I think that you should find her her own place for awhile so that you two ... (read in full...)
How do I get to spend time with her away from the conference?
Q. I have a sexual fantasy that I would like to live out. Perhaps you can tell me how. As part of my job I go to many conferences in different cities. These conferences last for a few days to a week. At these conference I often see a beautiful woma...
A. 24 August 2008: Well, if she's a slut it'll be easy - say, "hey sweet cheeks, I'm looking to sack you so my hotel room is #232, just meet me up there. You bring the booze, I'll bring my hot bod."
However, you will not be this lucky with most hot babes. If you w... (read in full...)
Is there some way, that I can get my wife to squirt when she has an orgasm, this turns me on?
Q. I was wondering what i can do to my wife to get her to squirt when she has an orgasim that is a major turn on for me and would like her to be able to do it...
A. 24 August 2008: Unfortunately this is a skill that few women possess. Squirting just isn't possible for a lot of women. At least, not that massive waterfall that you see in the pornos. However, I did find this relevant thread and other useful sites for you:
http:... (read in full...)
My friend saw me kissing my boyfriend at the bus stop last night ... but I was at my sister's house all night. Could he be cheating?
Q. Hey Well..!! basicly! im mega mega pissed off with my so called boyfriend and really dont know what to do! right so last night i was stayin at my sisters and my boyfriend phoned me askin if i wanted to go n meet him so i said i couldnt cos i wa...
A. 24 August 2008: he cheated on you. He admitted that it was him at the bus stop, sucking face. He admits that he was making out at that very bus stop. He claims it was you - you weren't there.
Yep, he's cheating on you. He may not think that you're quite at the "... (read in full...)
Are there possibilities of pregnancy with the withdrawal method?
Q. If you have unprotected sex can you get pregnant if the guy stops before he comes. I did and we were disturbed so stopped before he did but i have skipped a period. Is it my imagination or is it possible...
A. 23 August 2008: A great Aunt named Tisha posted this a little while ago in response to a similar question and I thought it was really great. Hope you learn something from it!!
http:... (read in full...)
I have a problem with my lips turning white, when I kiss my girlfriend, could wearing chapstick have anything to do with it, any way to prevent this?
Q. hi, Random question here, Every time I kiss my girlfriend my lips end up turning white in areas. I've figured it's only either dead skin or bacteria being killed(similar as to what happens when drinking vodka and the tongue turns white). ...
A. 21 August 2008: Hey sweet, Well a good way to get rid of excess dead skin is to exfoliate your lips. Scrub them with an old toothbrush, a damp washcloth or an exfoliant from the store. I even like using mixtures like brown sugar, honey and olive oil... Anywa... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying to get into the music industry just to help people? Will I be able to do so?
Q. I love to sing. I love to make music, compose songs and create lyrics. I'm talented in it. But most of all, what I really want to do, is to help people. I've been through a lot, maybe not enough, but I still am able to empathise with people. I'm not ...
A. 21 August 2008: There are lots of ways to help the world with your music but not getting into the celeb music scene. If you really enjoy music, go out with a guitar and sing open mic nights, sing for causes, do benefits, get people active in your community using ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to have an affair with a friend who's a hooker even though I have a girlfriend?
Q. wow...! this' a little funny, but here it goes. I went to a pub one evening after a tiring day from work, and met a hooker. out of curiosity I thought I could just disturb her a little but without being serious on it. so I bought her a drink. b...
A. 21 August 2008: Of course not. Cheating = never right.... (read in full...)
Why wont my boyfriend kiss me when I go to visit him in Prison?
Q. I'm 16 + my boyfriend is 17, he's still a virgin. Its not that which i am confused about. He's in prison + when i go to see him + ask him for a kiss he simply laughs + tells me that im not gettin 1. He's only ever kissed 1 girl. Why doesnt he ...
A. 20 August 2008: He won't even give you affection - why are you wasting emotional energy on this guy who's stuck in jail? He obviously did something bad to get in there, and now he doesn't even appreciate your loyalty to him while he's in the clink. Well, ditch that ... (read in full...)
Obama for president?
Q. Wow this is so intense! I origanly come from America but live in Canada! But I cant belive it there could be the first black president! I dont have a problem with couler and have been doing about slavery in history and I think we've came so far! I ...
A. 20 August 2008: "First one thing that annoys me. Obama is mixed race (50% white 50% black) i have no idea why this makes him black because he is just as black as he is white. So i see him as a potential first mixed race president"
Nicely said. I'm half black an... (read in full...)
Have I lost my V-card?
Q. This is very important to me so I hope I get some answers soon. I have been with my boyfriend for about eight months now. We are very much dedicated and in love with one another. Not too long ago, he inserted the TIP of his penis inside my vagina ...
A. 20 August 2008: My vote is that yes, you have lost your virginity. I don't know what the technical answer is, but it seems like you've had a penis in your vagina. Doesn't matter how far in he's been in there, to me personally... you are still playing with the same ... (read in full...)
Stuck between a career or my lover: Do I give him up or go to school?
Q. Alrightyz, even if you don't answer, thank you for reading. But i am hoplessly tore between the most horrible decision ever. Ever since i was a little girl i've planned to move to california right after high school to get my degree in aquatic ...
A. 18 August 2008: Hey sweet,
As someone who has given up her dream college for her dream man, let me tell you - it is VERY, VERY, VERY difficult. I really think that unless you guys are engaged or something, you need to pursue that degree of yours, or else you may ... (read in full...)
I have no plans to celebrate my birthday. How can I make my friends and family understand?
Q. I have a bit of a strange problem. My birthday is coming up and long story short, I have no intention of celebrating it. To me, I don't see any worth in celebrating another year of me doing absolutely nothing worthwhile, and I don't see the ...
A. 18 August 2008: Hey sweetness,
Sometimes holidays are for OTHER people. These guys want to celebrate your birthday because they care about you and want to show you just how much. I totally understand that you would rather just chill out on your birthday and have... (read in full...)
Is it safer to use two condoms?
Q. ok this may sound dumb..but would it be better to use 2 condoms? or does that make the chance higher that the condoms will break...
A. 18 August 2008: You're right in thinking that two condoms will make it easier to break. Two condoms isn't better than one - what IS the best choice is using two contraceptives at once - a.k.a the pill/condom.
No question is "dumb" - you are smart to be asking!!... (read in full...)
How can we find a happy medium in our sex life?
Q. I recently went back with my bf of 3 years after close to 6 months of being broken up. He is a very passionate guy, he is easily turned on by me....and I am more of a romantic girl, I usually lean more towards making love the old fashion way. We ...
A. 18 August 2008: It sounds like you two need to find a happy medium. Why don't you surprise him by initiating things? Pounce on him when he least expects it wearing something saucy with a mix of mood music to really set the tone. Make the mix flow so that it's ... (read in full...)
He's a heroin addict, I finally kicked him out, did I do the right thing?
Q. Well how do i start, my partner has been a heroin addict for two years, after false promises and hope that he would get better i have found out that he still is on it, he lies to me about what he is doing. It is so upsetting because we can be so ...
A. 14 August 2008: Yes, you've done the right thing. A life with an addict is not a life at all. Go out there and find a real man who can prioritize you and not drugs. Your ex needs a reality check, and perhaps you leaving him will help him on the path to recovery. ... (read in full...)
I found out that my friend broke our school windows with a basebal bat. Do I tell or not?
Q. I have a guy friend who trust me with everything! One day when I to school, I found out that some of windows had broken with a baseball bat. Well, My friends told he hates the school and he did it. I don't know what to do. Tell the school and do the ...
A. 7 August 2008: You know the right thing to do. You know it inside, and you know it'll hurt you to hurt your friend, but tell the school and you'll feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. Knowing and not saying anything is nearly as bad as doing it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just quit smoking, will he gain weight?
Q. My boyfriend just quit smoking a week ago. He is really skinny right now, will he start gaining weight? I want him to because he is so skinny and I'm not attracted to him that much anymore....
A. 7 August 2008: Wow... three sentences, and yet already more issues to deal with than I care to cover in my answer!!
Firstly, congratulations to your boyfriend. Quitting smoking is SO difficult and such a life change. It can be a real struggle, so please encourag... (read in full...)
Debatable question: Why do friends want to influence their friends breaking up?!
Q. why do some friends influence their friends to break up especially when their friends are truly happy and in love is it because they are jealous and or envious of their friends new found happiness....
A. 7 August 2008: It could be that your friends are jealous, but in the past I've been in unhealthy relationships where I thought it was true love and my friends saw the true colors of the relationship I was in... so while they were persuading me to ditch the jerk I ... (read in full...)
He has reluctantly agreed to an STI test, but seems to be very annoyed at me. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hi, Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year, I am 19 he is 26. we usually use condoms and i am on the pill. recently we were talking about sti testing and he told me he has never ever been tested. I was alarmed by this as i have alw...
A. 7 August 2008: You're not out of order. He needs to get tested for his own health and yours. He can act as annoyed as he likes, it's an immature reaction to a very adult and responsible thing he ought to be doing. As Frank suggested, maybe he is nervous about the ... (read in full...)
What can I get my friend for her bridal shower?
Q. My friend is getting married and she's having a bridal shower next week. I don't know what to get her. She's staying at her fiance's parents basement until their new house get buildt (6 months later). I don't want to get her any furniture/applicance ...
A. 2 August 2008: I work at Victoria's Secret (which just picked up La Cenza, I'm pretty sure, so it's a similar company) and have tons of women coming in shopping for bridal showers. Many have the same issue as you - a more conservative bride. I always suggest ... (read in full...)
He's keeping photos of his Ex girlfriend. Why?
Q. hi im 24 years old and im in this relationship with my boyfreind for a couple of months and i discovered in his email and as well on his computer pictures of his ex they were all over i spoke to him about it and i told him to get rid of them and ...
A. 2 August 2008: Are these nude pictures? If they are, I think you have a right to be upset. But if they're simply pictures, I really think you need to lighten up. I have pictures of all of my ex-boyfriends. Not because I miss them, I hardly even look at them, but ... (read in full...)
I really need to understand what his fascination to 'let loose' all over me is all about!
Q. What is with the male fascination with porn and cumshots? I guess I don't understand the appeal of it. Maybe some of the guys can explain it. I can always tell when my b/f has been looking at porn because he will pull out during sex and let loos...
A. 31 July 2008: I'm interested to see what other answers you'll get, but I will say this - perhaps he wants to pull out for simple variation!! My boyfriend switches it up, and I really like it when he does. As for why it's sexy? It's always sexy SEEING the orgasm ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, and I want a baby... I really feel ready, but I'm catholic... what do I do?
Q. okay. well i'm fourteen. and i really want a baby. i had a dream about it the other nite and i was so happy adn i was shopping for stuff liek a baby blanket and a nuk, and i was so happy i just kept holding my stomach. there is a few problems. one ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hey sweet,
Just thought I'd throw this in - I love babies too!! Love them love them love them... but I also love the thought of having babies when I'm good and ready - particularly financially stable and with a man who will make a great father a... (read in full...)
Are tampons or pads better for periods?
Q. Hey I was wondering r tampons or pads better for periods? I was going to try using a tampon for the first time, but the instructions said only use it if it's a moderate period. I happen to be having a heavy period. I'm afraid to use tampons though, ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hi sweet,
I mix and match. I prefer tampons when my period is heavier - as remember to change them, as Emily and Tellulah point out! - and then when my period gets lighter, I use thin pads.
It's really up to you and what makes you feel the mos... (read in full...)
I am very concerned about the size and shape of my breasts, I am 15, will my breasts grow more, and will the shape change?
Q. this is quite a strange question but im concerned about my breasts. im 15. There small but they dont have the 'breast' look. There just like a triangle off my chest. They dont have the 'drop'. not a 'U' shape. more like a V but sideways. Will they ...
A. 30 July 2008: Hey sweet - I work with bras, and I've worked with naked ladies in the past. Trust me when I say, I have seen countless pairs of boobs (seriously, every guy I know is completely jealous). Your boobs are FINE. Boobs come in all shapes and sizes. Some ... (read in full...)
Girl I want claims to only "like the attention" she gets from me, how do I change this?
Q. ok so there is a girl I have been talking to for about 2 years now, we have gotten very close to dating several times, but every time we get close, she claims that she "only likes the attention she gets from me." At first, I tried complimenting her ...
A. 29 July 2008: Back off.
This girl is hooked on your attention and probably loves the fact that she doesn't even need to commit to you - you shower her with all the affection and attention any boyfriend would give her and she still can be single and living i... (read in full...)
He was VERY experimental with his last girlfriend... what can I do to really wow him in bed?
Q. I'd really appreciate some sex tips from anyone that can give them. I've recently started dating a guy who I like A LOT. He's attractive, really sweet, and treats me great. I'd really like to see this relationship last a long time. But I'm a...
A. 29 July 2008: It sounds like your man has had his share of experience!! I know how you feel. My 3 year honey has been with 22 other people, and has had quite the laundry list of sexual adventures. However, he was my first ever. So, as you can imagine, I know how ... (read in full...)
I feel so ugly, will I ever get a boyfriend?
Q. Hey. Im a girl, Ive just turned 15. My problem is with my appearance. I always feel so ugly. Monsterously ugly, and people tell me Im ugly aswell. If Im out with my friends, lads will look my at my friends and smile, then look at me and they'll look ...
A. 29 July 2008: Hey sweet,
I just read everyone's replies to your question and think you got some GREAT GREAT GREAT answers. Hooray for the Aunts and Uncles!! And your follow up was so positive and I'm glad to see that already you're feeling better.
I thoug... (read in full...)
Are we safe using pull-out for birth control? Is it normal to have several orgasms in a row?
Q. I have a couple of questions. First and foremost, my fiance and I have only been having sex for a couple of weeks now. We were originally waiting to be married but it randomly kind of happened one night. That aside, he finds it less romantic an...
A. 29 July 2008: A great Aunt named "Tisha" posted this a couple days ago. The girl had a question similar to yours. THIS VIDEO IS SO GREAT!! It's funny, informative and will answer your questions about pulling out and even other sex questions.
http:... (read in full...)
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