A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a problem with my boyfriend - he wants sex and every time he tries to put his penis inside of me it really hurts. Last time we tried to do this he would not stop trying and I ended up crying - he then became violent and covered my mouth up with one of his hands to try and stop me screaming. He only stopped trying when I forced him away from me - I was really shaking and when I said I wanted to leave , he got my belt and threw it at me , told me to fuck off and then said he was sorry and he asked me to forgive him- I did but I am still wary of him - and I am going to see him soon- he has something of mine so I am going to collect it - I dont want to try and end it as he might get violent - help me ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Was he really big penis ??? A lot of dudes with big dick tend to be really aggressive . Did u bleed ??
A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (2 June 2008):
 no thank you i ws waorried sabout you snd if you would finish it thanx for listening xD xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Ahhh! Thank goodness for that.
I hope that you're alright now. Remember if he ever bothers you again tell someone straight away!
Good Luck. Take care of yourself.
Emivia. X
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Wonderfull! You have made me very, very happy. Good luck, take care of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your adivce guys I have ended it with the boy now - you have been really helpful x
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A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (31 May 2008):
forget what he ahs of yors you can not see this boy again he has raped you and he is abusive and violent
you need to tell someone incase he does it to someone else because its not just you in danger it other girls aswell
you shouldnt be with someone like this tell someone and tell him its over because this is very rong and i hope you tell someone because he could get on alot of trouble for this it is very wrong and i hope you are ok because he sounds evil please tell someone
good luckxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): This man is VERY DANGEROUS. He is abusive, he rapes you then tells you to "fuck off". You need to tell someone, you need to protect yourself from being hurt by him again. He shows you so much disrespect, I am frightened by what he will do next. You are very, very young and he would not treat an older woman this way. He wouldn't dare cause he would end up on a rape charge and be on the Sex Offenders Register.
STAY AWAY FROM HIM. He dosen't care if he hurts you.... How long will it be before a) He begins to like hurting you, b) He lets other people hurt you c) He hurts you so bad that you're damaged for life. THIS MAN IS DANGEROUS - HE'S ALREADY RAPING AND HURTING YOU. STAY FAR AWAY.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Listen to the previous poster (lawyer from the UK). Press charges and get some professional help.
I wish you all the best of luck, if you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.
XX
A
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (31 May 2008):
 No is no and if he is like this now god know where it will lead. Get away now and keep away from him he is unlikely to change. you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you and you are too young to be treated like this, in fact any age is the wrong age to be treated like this. So move on and find a decent boy and dont let ANYONE pressure you to have sex, i dont think you are emotionally ready yet x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): I'm a law student in the UK hunni so I can tell you, from studying UK case law what facts are. It is NEVER too late to say no. If you change your mind and ask him to stop or make it clear that you didn't want to have sex then a man MUST respect your wishes. To be honest though in order to win in a court case it would have been helpful if you had gone to the police/hospital immediately afterwards. That way they can do a medical examination and see if there has been any damage caused i.e. signs of force being applied to your vagina (which, considering how much pain you claim to have been in should have been visible to a trained doctor). His covering your mouth could strengthen your case. Sexual assault is a lesser charge which tends to be relied upon in cases where the evidence of attempted or actual rape is poor. Its a sort of secondary option in cases such as yours. Rape includes even the slightest part of a man's penis being forced into your vagina. Even if he wasn't in properly, didn't cum or didn't rip your hymen it can still constitute rape.I could go on all day talkin about how fucked up the crimanl system is with regard to rape prosecutions and the general law on rape but I doubt that it would be of much help to you.The best thing to do is to tell someone in a position of authority what has happened. If you feel strong enough to try and have him prosecuted then this would be possible. However, should you want the item back that you have left at his I suggest you take a person of authority or another adult male with you for protection. Make it clear that what he did was wrong and although you won't report him to the police you want nothing more to do with him.If you continue in a relationship with a man who want's to exert physical violence on you for the purposes of a cheap thrill then, if I were you, I'd get the hell away from him. I would definitely never go near him again without being accompanied. Your not married to him, you don't owe him anything so don't stay in an abusive relationship no matter how much you think you may love him or want him to change. Good luck hunxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): You are right to be wary of him.. As a few aunts have stated.
If you must go and see him tomorrow I would take someone who could protect you, with you. He held you down and forced himself on you. Then he became violent. This is a terrible experience for anyone to go through, especially someone so young.
I really thinkt hat you should tell someone about this. What he did was very scary as TasteofIndia had already stated.
I really think that what he did was illegal.
Good Luck sweet heart. X
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 The law sees several degrees of rape and your story is one of the reasons for it.
After all, your own original intention was to attempt intercourse. You wanted his penis inside BUT then after allowing it, because of the pain, said no.
He lost it, this is bad but... well there are limits. Ask yourselve this, say the sex continued and you then asked him to pull out before he cums and he doesn't? Would you classify this as rape? Technically it would be, you say no, he doesn't listen therefor it is rape but I wouldn't expect it to stand up in court.
BUT that is different from using violence on a crying girl to continue what originally both wanted. It may not have been rape or sexual assault but most certainly assaulted you and for that there is no excuse.
Part of me wants to say that this was just a case of two people being far to young/immature for sex. You two tried to play at being grown-ups and got hurt as a result. WAIT with sex until you are ready for it.
But another part sees a guy who went to far and is very close to being a rapist.
It depends on a lot of unmentioned details. Just how old is he? What happened between your first no and you fighting him of etc etc.
Is he normally violent because in his defence things might have just gotten out of control. The simple fact is that the first time for a girl does hurt for some, how much you would have to ask a woman. He might have thought that if he only forced you through this it would be over and lets be honest, a boy your age having sex for the first time isn't going to be the clearest thinker.
Sit down, calmly, think about the kind of person he is and try to imagine what might have been going through his mind. Is he a bad guy or someone who made a really bad mistake in the heat of passion.
Date rape does happen, by "nice guys" and is a serious crime so don't be too easy on him. Just how violent was he when he covered your mouth, "forceful" or "I am goin to die"?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I'm not familiar with legal categories in Britain, so I will speak from a moral point of view. He tried to force you to have sex, and then insulted you. You are right in feeling wary of him. I wonder if you really, really need to collect that from him. If you just need to, go with someone else, preferably two people, and meet in a public place with lots of other people around.
I would also recommend that you end it with him.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 You are right to be wary.
Maybe you should ask a guy friend or some of your girlfriends to go to his house with you so that you can pick up your stuff and leave. I think you know as well as the rest of us do - you need to ditch your boyfriend. That's really scary what he did to you, and if you're comfortable enough to talk to someone about it, I think you should. This is sexual assault and very disturbing to read (even worse that you're so young).
But, if you're not - bottom line - leave your boyfriend. He's an asshole. And a violent one. When you go over there with some friends or family, tell him not to call you and that it's over.
Good luck, sweetness.
xx India
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