A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok this is how it went down...last night my boyfriend tried to finger me but it hurted so i told him to stop, so we tried again but it still hurted...so we stopped trying...he told me my hole was too tight and it was hard to go in...i went to the bathroom and when i peed it burned...no bleeding was caused at the moment...i went home about a hour later and i went to the bathroom again and blood was there...but idk if i lost my virginity or if its my period...because i was expecting my period to come that week...he didnt go in all the way...so i dont think he broke my hymen...its been almost 24 hours and im still bleeding and it feels like i have period cramps...so can u help me figure out if i lost my virginity or am i just on my period????? please!! im so worried.
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hymen, lost my virginity, period, too tight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (30 August 2008):
 Oh, honey!Don't fret! It's just your period and chances are that you've ripped your hymen already, through exercise and tampons. Though you are still a virgin until you have viginal sex, in my opinion. The hymen isn't built to last!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): 1: you don't lose you virginity if someone is "fingering" you 2:when he fingered you he didn't go all the way so that didn't cause your bleeding problem 3: It is probably your period because you were expecting it that week. you also got cramps.and finally you did get blood.HOP DIS HELPS!!! p.s. when you do lose your virginity you won't bleed HANG IN THERE
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Calm down calm down, its just your period lol looks like you two have to wait another week before you try that again. But look if it still burns when you pee after a week i would recomend going to the doctor not telling him exactly what happened meerely stating that it burns when you pee.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): It worries me that a girl as young as you is engaged in intimate activities and has no understanding of them. The sex that takes your virginity is vaginal sex. His penis in your vagina, whether the act is completed or not, even if he wasn't completely inside you. So fingering does not take your virginity as it is not sex.
Sounds like your boyfriend doesn't know what he's doing, either. Fingering a girl is supposed to be like giving a guy a handjob - enjoyable. Except the way you describe it, he was just trying to poke his fingers inside your vagina. That's not at all stimulating for a girl. He needs to touch your clitoris for that - which is above the entrance to your vagina, and gently, because it's a sensitive area.
If he had jagged or sharp nails, he could have cut you, and if they were dirty he could have introduced an infection to your genital area. You don't want a urinary tract infection - it will burn when you pee, and some of your urine may be bloody. You need to take prescribed antibiotics for that, so you may need to see your doctor. If the symptoms you describe are typical of your period, however, you don't need to be concerned.
You cannot get pregnant without vaginal sex or transfer of his semen into your vagina. Oral sex and fingering will not make you pregnant, and won't take your virginity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Is it still burning when you go to the the toilet?
As to your question, no you didn't lose your virginity. You only technically lose your actual virginity through full penetrative sex.
Secondly, it's your period. You wouldn't be bleeding that much from yor hymen breaking.
Thirdly, your hymen is probably already broken - if you use tampons/ride horses/do athletic sports, the chances are that it's broken.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): You can't lose your virginity by fingering! You're on your period my dear- Rejoice!
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (15 June 2008):
ok it is your period but you could have broke your hymen since it is only one to two inches in. Also the burning when you pee is because he accidently scratched you. Tell him to make sure he cut and FILES his nails or he will continue to scratch you. It happens to me all the time. If your hymen breaks it only bleeds once not continuing.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (15 June 2008):
ok it is your period but you could have broke your hymen since it is only one to two inches in. Also the burning when you pee is because he accidently scratched you. Tell him to make sure he cut and FILES his nails or he will continue to scratch you. It happens to me all the time. If your hymen breaks it only bleeds once not continuing.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Hi darling,
Well, I'll tell you one thing: you didn't lose your virginity.Even if you broke your hymen, your virginity is still intact because it takes a penis penetrating you to officially lose your virginity (lots of exceptions -i.e. lesbians, but that is the general rule of thumb).
Maybe he broke your hymen, or maybe he scraped the inside of you, or maybe all the "southern" action just sped up your period and you got it a day or two early. Either way, I wouldn't worry.
Just be sure that when you and your boyfriend do that kind of thing that his hands are nice and clean! Also, he needs to learn how to work a woman's body. As "Emilyanswers" said, he needs to learn the art of foreplay. Before he fingers you, have him get you nice and relaxed, comfortable, wet, worked up. Kiss a lot and have him touch you all over (or whatever feels best). Most of all, be patient and have fun!
Hope this helps, sweetness!
xx India
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 June 2008):
I very much doubt you lost your virginity as you didn't have sex.
It's most likely that you are on your period, most girls only get the tiniest spot of blood from their hymen.
It may also have hurt when you went to the loo because he was prodding around in a very sensitive area, that happens after you have a lot of sex as well.
If you are going to try it again make sure he touches you everywhere else first and gets you really relaxed and turned on and is really gentle. Arms, necks and everywhere can be a turn on, you have to figure what does it for you.
Good Luck!! xx
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