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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is every day too much sex?
Q. Hi guys Id just like to know whether its wrong to have sex with your girlfriend each and every day,we are having a long distance relationship and sometimes I don't see her 4 months and when I dont see her I don't think about sex oftenly and I never ...
A. 21 May 2008: Nothing wrong with having sex every day. As long as both of you are feeling it, happy and enjoying yourselves, have as much sex as you want!! (just make sure you're safe, blah blah blah, you know that lecture).
Enjoy, sweetness!
xx India... (read in full...)
Should I pretend our kiss never happened?
Q. A couple of weeks ago, i was catching up with my ex girlfriend sally about her life. Apparently she needed me as a friend so i gave her a hug...just to comfort her. She began telling me "you shouldn't bother with me, i'm not worth it, look y...
A. 21 May 2008: Well, it all depends. How do YOU FEEL? Do you want to be back with her? If you do, then go for it - screw what the other people think (unless she really is toxic in a relationship and you're in fact, better without her in your life).
If you're n... (read in full...)
I'm having fantasy of a threesome. Am I normal?
Q. Ok I'm bi I don't tell many people this because I'm afraid of what they will say but thats not the point of this message. Today in 5th period I had both people I like together in one class . Boy and a girl. I don't why but I started having thi...
A. 19 May 2008: You DO NOT need help. This is a totally common, normal fantasy to have... the only thing I would like to say is that maybe you should be paying attention in class!!
But, I've drifted off into fantasy land during lots of classes, and this seems li... (read in full...)
If you are married a crush should stay a crush and not be taken any further right?
Q. An old friend of mine (NOT a boyfriend!!!) said that he thinks that nowadays it is common expectation that a crush -- even one felt by a married man!!! -- should end up "consummated" whereas years ago this wasn't true. I think this is terrible and ...
A. 19 May 2008: I agree with you, love. Crushes are natural, but for a married (or engaged... or committed, whatever) person they should stay simply crushes and NOT be acted on.
Simply put, it's cheating and cheating in a relationship just isn't okay. Not unle... (read in full...)
Sex with 67 men in the past, is that high or low in your opinion?
Q. My wife had sex with 67 men before me...is that number too high or low for a woman?...
A. 19 May 2008: "For a woman" - psht.
Moving on.
I think that the number is high, yes, for anybody. However, a lot - a lot - a LOT of people can match up to that... so I don't think that your wife is any less than normal. As long as she's happy and health... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a vibrator at 16?
Q. I'm sixteen and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay a virgin for a long time. I'm writing this because I have simple question to ask. My mother doesn't want me to talk to boys and I've told her that I wouldn't Now the dating/sex age for my family is ...
A. 17 May 2008: I don't think it's wrong in the least. It's totally okay to explore yourself and experiment, especially at 16. Good for you for wanting to wait to be having sex.
Just make sure you hide your vibrator properly. Nothing is more embarras... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is taller than me now, will I catch her up?
Q. I am 15 and 5'9.5".I have only grown 1/2" since last August. My girlfriend and I began dating when we were 13 and I was the same height I am now. She used to be around 5'6" when we started dating. She started growing and is now 6'2". She always ...
A. 14 May 2008: Hey there,
Well, there's definitely a good chance that you'll catch up to her... you're certainly not done growing. However, 6'2 is pretty tall!! You may not quite catch all the way up to her... but you both seem happy to be with each other. I... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hey there,
Well - I'm half black & half white... so, unless I find another half/half, I'll always be dating beyond my own race. My parents have been married for 21 years and are still happily in love and together. Screw people who are too close-mi... (read in full...)
What's a corsage, where would I get one, and how much?
Q. People suggested for prom a corsage. What is it? How much? Where from in uk?...
A. 12 May 2008: The beauty of a black dress is that every color matches it! I would match it to YOUR tie if she's wearing a completely black dress. If you're decked out in black & white, well, in that case... - your choices are endless! Just find the most beautiful ... (read in full...)
Suggestions to spend QUALITY time with my boyfriend, not just stay together and ignore each other, for lack of better ideas...?
Q. I need ideas to make my relationship with my boyfriend more interesting. We live together and spend most of the time with eachother but never spend QUALITY time. The only things we do together are watch movies and have sex/cuddles, otherwise we're ...
A. 10 May 2008: Best quality time can be found on a walk. Go to a park, take a walk. better yet, bring sidewalk chalk and a camera with you and take lots of pictures. Make some memories, you know?
Or, go to the zoo! That's usually a pretty cheap date that can... (read in full...)
We need help on spicing up our sex life!
Q. I need ideas on spicing up my sex life. My bf and I only use a couple of positions and sometimes I dress up in sexy clothes, but that's about it, and it's boring!...
A. 10 May 2008: Hey sweetness,
Okays, here's India's top 5 "SPICE UP THE SEX" list:
5) Dirty Movies
What else is going to get you feeling "dirty" better than some good ol' dirty fun. Here's my hint to you - YOU pick out the DVD, not your man.
4) Vibrator... (read in full...)
He likes me, but doesn't want his family/friends to know he likes fat girls?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and he doesn't want to introduce me to his friends or family. When I asked him why I havent met his family yet he said it is because I'm fat and he's not sure if they would approve. I've been ignoring him ...
A. 7 May 2008: Okay, honestly... it depends how he said it. If he said something like, totally awkwardly, tried to be nice, didn't work out... if your relationship has been successful and happy and pure of issues, disagreements and all...
I would then say that... (read in full...)
My lover says he wants his wife to know about us but is too afraid to tell her, should I tell her?
Q. My lover has said he would like for his wife to find out about our affair. He is too afraid to tell her, he's afraid of losing his kids. Should I tell her? ...
A. 6 May 2008: Well,
If he wants you to tell her because he thinks that way he won't lose his kids - I think he's mistaken. Now, that's not to say that I believe he will lose his children, but if he's trying to lower the chances... well, this isn't the way.
... (read in full...)
Does it count to have indirect contact with the female breasts? Feel through the shirt?
Q. I am going to high school at a boarding school (yes, everything in my family is fine... I just thought they offered a good education), which has the obvious rule of "No genital contact." I am not yet ready to loose my virginity, but foresee that I ...
A. 6 May 2008: "genital contact" seems to specify just below the belt, as "RCN" said. So, I think for over the shirt action, you're in the clear.
I wouldn't worry about the question of losing your virginity until the time comes. What's that old phrase..... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always asks my friend to have sex, is he cheating?
Q. my boyfriend always ask my best friend to have sex with him and he told me once that he dont have the desire to have sex with me im a virgin and im not ready so do you think he's cheating should i break up with he evening calls my cousin everyday ...
A. 6 May 2008: Perhaps he's cheating, perhaps he isn't, but one thing is for sure: your man is a dog and sooner or later, he's gonna do a lot more than just talk or touch. He's already proving himself to be disrespectful in his attempting to seduce gals. That's ... (read in full...)
Is eating cheating? As in having a sexual encounter with a another female.
Q. Okay one quick question. If you are a married woman, and you have sexual relations with another woman is it cheating?...
A. 4 May 2008: Simply: yes.... (read in full...)
How can I treat this girl like a princess at the Prom?
Q. I've got a friend to take to prom. I like her a little, and she wanted to go with me because she said she's relaxed with me, and I know how to treat girls. She's obviously heard good stuff about me. But I've never been to a prom before, and i don't ...
A. 3 May 2008: Hey sweetness,
Can you pick her up? Because that's super sweet... a very chivalrous gesture. Also, pick her up a really gorgeous corsage, offer to get the prom pictures taken.
DO NOT FORGET TO TELL HER THAT SHE LOOKS UNBELIEVABLE (my... (read in full...)
My wife wants to be painted nude. Is this normal?
Q. Hi my wife would like to have a nude painting done of her and is quite turned on by that fact that people will see it. is this normal or what...
A. 1 May 2008: Getting a nude painting is a heck of a lot classier than having Playboy style pictures taken. I think it's great that your wife wants to embrace her beautiful woman's body in the form of art. Let's face it - a woman's body IS a work of art and is so ... (read in full...)
I was shocked when my friend told me she was no longer a virgin.
Q. Yesterday my best friend told me a secret. She told me that she wasn't a virgin anymore. I was in total shock. I thought she knew better than to do something like that. I don't know how to explain it, but ever since she told me that she wasn't a ...
A. 1 May 2008: I agree with "notinthesame" - your friend made her decision, and perhaps she feels close enough and secure enough with her boyfriend to make that decision. If you feel like her boyfriend is a scumbag, then the best you can do is continue to be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he loves me and doesn't care if we never have sex again. Should I believe him? I have a low sex drive!
Q. my partner and i have been together for nearly six years. over the last year or so, my sex drive has completley vanished. its very rare i feel "in the mood". my boyfriend tries to initiate sex a couple of times a week, to which i just ignore him,...
A. 29 April 2008: Hello,
Well, it's good that you're still physically attracted to him! How far can you go with your boyfriend until you start to get bored (i.e: you say that you still kiss and cuddle... so does that not usually go past kissing? Will you start ma... (read in full...)
I'm just not attracted to women that are of the same race as me. I've tried, but it just doesn't work.
Q. Hi, not sure where to start on this one. I don't know why but I'm just not attracted to women that are of the same race as me. I've tried but it just doesn't seem to work for me. Is this so wrong? I seem to be attracted to white girls. I have an A...
A. 29 April 2008: Who the heck cares who you date? I'm half black, half white (though, most people who look at me just chalk me up as a light skinned Black person) and I've actually never dated a Black fella. Not as if I wouldn't, or won't - I simply have found ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he loves me and doesn't care if we never have sex again. Should I believe him? I have a low sex drive!
Q. my partner and i have been together for nearly six years. over the last year or so, my sex drive has completley vanished. its very rare i feel "in the mood". my boyfriend tries to initiate sex a couple of times a week, to which i just ignore him,...
A. 28 April 2008: Out of curiosity, when you do actually have sex, do you get into it? Or are you just completely turned off - even during the act? Do you orgasm when you're together? Is your boyfriend "doing the job"?
I guess I'm just wondering if you are stil... (read in full...)
Why is it guys are more attracted to me when I'm not all dressed up?
Q. I've noticed that when I try to look and dress cute, guys won't pay attention to me. But when I'm dressed down and not really lookin to meet anyone, guys will flirt with me. Like yesterday, a college student my age was trying to give ppl free quot...
A. 26 April 2008: Maybe you appear more down to earth, more approachable. A super hot, decked out chiquita is amazing to look at, but intimidating to talk to. When you're dressed down, guys probably feel a little more comfortable.
Hey, and next time you find a h... (read in full...)
Was this checkup done inappropriately by my wife's gynecologist?
Q. I went to a gynocologist when my wife was of 3 month pregnancy.Ultrasound done on his lab in presence of me and doctor asked my wife to meet his chamber which was 30 meter away from his lab for further checkup.Everything was ok.As per our turn I ...
A. 25 April 2008: That sounds like an ordinary trip to the doctor to me. Usually the gynecologist will feel your (your wifes, I guess) breasts for any suspicious lumps... or perhaps he just needs to get a better position for his stethescope. Usually they do it right ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 25 April 2008: Ahhh, you're so cute!! That accent!!
Okay, enough of that.
I think I may be persuaded to do a video response or two. This will be especially helpful when trying to write out how to perform sexual positions... now, I don't need to try to find t... (read in full...)
Would most guys jump at the chance to treat a woman as submissive? Am I just a wimp?
Q. I need some help.My girlfriend seems to like submission.I've asked her about it,she says she doesn't HAVE to have it to be satisfied.However,out of ex's the one that broke her heart was the one that liked to have her submit.On her myspace page,she ...
A. 25 April 2008: A good compromise for you two may be getting a long silk scarf. You can use to it blindfold, to tie (lightly, to begin with) up, to tease. It's a little softer than the traditional BDSM gear, and might be a little easier for you to handle. Just ... (read in full...)
Is a 3 year age gap that big of a deal?
Q. is that okay to continue with my boyfriend who is younger than me? i am 24 and he is 21 what do you think?...
A. 25 April 2008: I don't think that your age gap is a big deal. I think 24-21 is close enough. You're on the same page. I'm in the same situation, I'm 21 and my boyfriend is about to turn 25... we get along well and don't find a lot of generation gaps between us. ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to have sex with someone who could be paralyzed from the waist down?!
Q. okayy. my boyfriend went to the doctor like 2 days ago. They said a disk in his back was out of place and if he plays any sports or messes up his back in anyway he will become paralyzed (sp?)from the waist down. when he told me that i tryed to ...
A. 24 April 2008: Tisha and Laura were totally right. Call his parents, call his coaches. He definitely shouldn't be playing if it's a serious risk to his health - and getting paralyzed is a ENORMOUS risk. I'm absolutely positive that his coach won't allow him to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fingered some other girl and I feel like I'm losing him...
Q. how can i stop this horrible feelings of guilt? my boyfriend fingered some other girl whilst going out with me. i forgave him and and to be honest i couldnt care i just shook it off. but deep down i really care about this boy even though i d...
A. 23 April 2008: Why do YOU feel guilty about your boyfriend being a jerk?
Clearly, he's giving you 50%, and a half-assed 50% at that. He's a cheater and he makes you feel lousy about youself... why would you want him anyway?
Ditch the loser and get with som... (read in full...)
Are other women built differently in order to feel prepared more easily during anal sex?
Q. For Guys and Gals My boyfriend and I have sex daily. Dress up, role play,oral, sex in different locations, it goes on and on...The problem is he brings up anal sex a lot which we have done, but he says he loses patience with me because it takes...
A. 23 April 2008: Your boyfriend is being a jerk if he's not being totally patient with you. Anal sex needs some easing into - and it only gets easier with lots and lots and lots of practice. For some women, it may always take awhile to get warmed up. Why don't you ... (read in full...)
Ahe claims sport contributed to the hymen being broken, could it be true?
Q. hi something thats always bugging me ..i wonder if you can help me.... i have been married for sometime/before my marriage my wife use to play badminton quite alot....and crease her legs together to masterbate..... on our first intercourse i noted ...
A. 22 April 2008: Yes, my sweet, a hymen can be broken in so many ways! Sports could do it, or any NUMBER of other things - riding a bike, tampons, falling, riding a horse, any NUMBER of things can lead to a hymen being broken. Don't preoccupy yourself with that ... (read in full...)
How do I know what colours suit me?
Q. i am the ty[e of girl who only wears black, grey, white clothes.. im not a goth or nything.. i just dint think colour suites me.. i really want to wear colour tho.. how do i know what colours suit me?...
A. 19 April 2008: Hey sweetness,
I suggest going into a store that you like the clothes in and asking a sales associate, "hey - I'm really new at this. I kind of want to try some colors, but I don't know what would look best on me. What do you think?". Or bring a ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my mouth aching when giving him oral?
Q. How can I stop my mouth aching when giving him oral? I've been giving my long term boyfriend oral for months now, but I still don't seem to be able to keep going without my mouth really aching. It gets so uncomfortable that I have to stop after ju...
A. 15 April 2008: Hey sweetness,
My jaw used to really get sore after awhile too. My suggestion is to switch it up between your hand and your mouth - also, lick him and kiss him with your mouth rather than engulfing all of him. It's all about variety.
Hope th... (read in full...)
Not sure if I should go to the prom or not, because her 'fling' may be there.
Q. In a few weeks there's a ball/prom that I may be going to. However, I am worried about going and am having second thoughts. I am meant to be going with my G/F but i have a feeling that this guy she sort of had a fling with is going to be there. ...
A. 14 April 2008: You're the one going to the prom with her!
You can't let this bother you... just focus on your girlfriend, how beautiful she is, and how much fun you're having together. Anyone who sees you two will be jealous, including this "fling".
Just re... (read in full...)
Does a woman make a man cum with her body, or does the man make himself cum using her body?
Q. Hi People, On rare occassions wen me n my boyfriend ahve sex, hes more into it den me n i dnt usual put too much effort into it but he still manages to cum. I was just wondering, when men/boys cum wen having sex wud u say that: The woman m...
A. 11 April 2008: Yes, my dear... I agree with the Sandman,
I think that it all comes down to the friction. As for how he gets to that big "O", it really just depends what position you're in to determine who is controlling the action. For instance, if it's doggy st... (read in full...)
Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?
Q. Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....
A. 11 April 2008: I most definitely believe with all of my heart that it should be. Love is love, people. marriage should be abbout two people who are in love with each other and want to commit to each other for life. It should NEVER matter who the parties are, LOVE ... (read in full...)
I am really worried about my best friend!
Q. I am really worried about my best friend. In the last week she has not been allowed out anywhere, and shes not even allowed to come prom shopping. I have tried to ask what is wrong, and she ses something is but she wont say what. so i really do...
A. 10 April 2008: Hey sweetness,
It sounds like maybe she is grounded by her parents? I assume it's a family thing or that she got in trouble for something intense... maybe she lied to her parents or failed a test or something. As for what you should do (you sou... (read in full...)
He's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm not, would there be a problem if we got serious?
Q. I have interest in a boy who, in my eyes, I think is perfect, we have the same interests and I think he is gorgeous! I know he likes me too. He is a Jehovah Witness and I am not at all religious, I also disagree with their ideas. If we fell into ...
A. 6 April 2008: Hello, sweetness!
I think that you are definitely very young and shouldn't be worrying about all this jibber jabber about way off into the future. Yes, if you got VERY serious and ended up getting married and having children, the religiou... (read in full...)
Is it cheating to masterbate over pictures of your wife's sisters?
Q. Is it cheating because I masturbate over pictures of my wife's two sisters?...
A. 4 April 2008: Cheating? Well, you get off on a technicality. No, you're not having actual SEX with anybody. However, let's try to consider how your poor wife will feel when she walks in and busts you jacking off to a snapshot of her siblings... she's not going to ... (read in full...)
My friend told me that guy just wanted sex, could that be true??
Q. Hello I met a guy last month. He's charming. He invited me to his home twice. And he's trying to get something more. I really like him. But I don't want to have sex with him since I am not ready. Recently, he became cold and seems to keep distan...
A. 4 April 2008: What a creep-o. Clearly, he's only out for a piece of tail... that's no good. Don't waste your time with that scum bag - he's showing his true character now, and it's not that attractive.
There are plenty of sweet guys out there who won't tr... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be pissed at her and hurt?
Q. Am i right to be pissed off? So this girl who i am basically dating (we kiss, hug, cuddle, hang out all the time) but arent official because for some reason she needs time, i found today that she is possibly dating another guy. She has been go...
A. 4 April 2008: I don't think that you're overreacting. It seems like she does definitely have a relationship with this guy, even if it is just like the one she has with you - casual. I think you need to just tell her that you're not going to wait in the wings ... (read in full...)
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