A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi me and my wife are having a child in October. Can anyone tell me what a dads role is? What makes a perfect dad? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Being yourself. Don't smack your child. Cuddle your baby when she's upset. Make sure that you talk to the school straightaway if your baby is being bullied, and to the parents of the bullies if necessary. Teach your baby to be financially responsible and kind to others. You don't have to smother your child with affection to make them feel loved - because we know when we are loved by our parents. Make sure you spend a couple of hours with your child every day, or as much time as you can make. Read your baby stories before bedtime.
And so on. Really, fatherhood tends to come naturally to all nice human beings, and it'll be a trial and sleepless nights and probably arguments, and no handbook is ever really going to prepare you, and you'll be constantly feeling your way, but...you'll do it! Best of wishes for you and your little family, may it always be a happy one!
A
female
reader, Sophia_Sweetheart +, writes (19 June 2008):
 The ability to stay calm and try and remember what it was like at their age, even when they do things wrong =]
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Do everything the opposite of my Dad: Be there for your kid.
There's no real guide to show you how to be the perfect Dad. But you're on the right track for wanting to get it right.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 (oh my God, that was so long. Sorry!)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 June 2008):
Congratulations!! You sound like you're already going to be a perfect Dad because you ask this question and seem to have your heart in a wonderful place.
My Dad has always been a perfect father to me, so I thought I'd tell you a little bit of why my Dad was so awesome. My Dad was always there for me 100 percent. He was just always there. He always treated my Mom like a saint, always made me laugh. he taught me lots of things, like how to make spaghetti and how to play the bass, how to ride my bike and drive a car. My Dad and I sometimes would get into fights, not very often, but hey - I was a teenager. But Dad always forgave me, and sometimes when he was wrong he said he was sorry. Dad loves me unconditionally, even now when I'm a little older. He helped me grow up into the person I am now through showing me by example in his own life - his determination, his way of handling obstacles, his intelligence, and his love for everyone around him.
So, I guess what this comes down to is a few key things:
- Always have love, show love and sometimes when things get rough, remember the love.
- Always treat her Mother the way that you want your daughter to be treated when she's older. Respect your wife and be sure that you are equals in your relationship and parenting. Try to agree on the rules, you don't want to send mixed messages. You are a team in raising your child.
- Always be setting an example. Kids are watching you and they soak up everything you do like a sponge. YOU ARE how your child learns to be their own person. They will reflect what they experience. You are now a full time role model.
- Be active in their lives. Be there. Enjoy it.
- Make sure you take care of your wife too. A healthy relationship with her is important. Your life doesn't have to be about kids 24/7. When your child is old enough, hire a babysitter for the evening and take Mom out for dinner and dancing. A happy relationship, makes happy parents, makes happy children.
Alright, that's my parenting advice (from someone who has only been a child, never a parent. Hopefully I'm not giving you bunk advice!!).
Good luck!!!
xx India
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (18 June 2008):
 A good dad will have a steady income, a loving wife (or partner) and the ability to love, no matter what.
My dad, is really cool because he is fair. He lets me hang out with boys because he respects me and trusts me enough to know I am not going out with dodgy kids.
You won't be worrying about that for a long time though, but a very good start for your baby is to do your bit, feed him/her in the night once s/he is off breast milk and read him/her stories even before s/he can talk. Talk pleasantly and kindly. and make sure your chjild respects you and loves you back.
With hope and love for your new baby,
Jelly.
xxx
Don't spoil your baby. Put up lots and lots of alphabets in every room. This helps your baby to read, and my brother was reading by the time he was 1 1/2.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Unfortunately there is no manual for "Being the perfect Dad";
BUT
you are already a step ahead of most, by wanting to be a good Dad.
Personally I suggest, be there for your wife and child as much as you can emotionally and "listen" to the little requests that sometimes goes unheard.
Best of luck and enjoy the little one, treasure it, beacause they are GOd's gifts to us!
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (18 June 2008):
 A good Dad is someone who, when the kids are little, they say "I want to be like him."
Then when they're in their teens they say "I'm NEVER going to be like him."
And then, some time in their twenties or early thirties, they realise with absolute horror that they ARE just like him.
That's the point when you realise it was all worthwhile.
Until then, it's all a nightmare - but worth every second of it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (18 June 2008):
 A Dad's role? Thats kind of a complex question. It depends on you and your wife. What kind of role do you have now?
If it were my husband, I would want him to share responsibilities in raising and taking care of the child. Someone who plays with the child and disciplines. Someone who shows respect for the wife a teaches respect to their child. Someone who can be counted on. Someone who shows their love in many ways.
Being a good dad goes with being a good husband. What does your wife expect you to do, what do you expect your wife to do? You two should agree on how you are going to raise the child and dont forget to maintain a good relationship with your wife. Also, being a good dad has a lot to do with your happiness. If you are not happy then your child will feel/see that.
There is no "perfect dad." You will just have to figure out how you can be the best dad you can be.
Congrats!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Simply being there, 24/7 365 days a year for 20 years.
What kids need most of all is stability. Everything else is just a bonus. Don't try to be to perfect, just try to be there, that is hard enough for most.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I think this is the cuteset question ever. First of all, congrats! There are no officials rules to be a father. Your job is simply to provide, protect and love. It seems to me that you're gonna be a great dad because being a dad requires a lot of extra time and patience, and by taking your time to find this website and waiting patiently for a response shows that you do have those qualities. But just remember that you are the dad and you shouldn't listen to what people tell you on how to raise your child. You have to follow your gut instincts in all situations. Just bethere for your wife while the baby continues to develop in her womb, make sure she eats right, doesn't smoke or drink and etc., good parenting starts from the first sign of pregnancy. And im not sure what you're having but if you're having a girl, don't be too over protective that makes them rebellious. Give them space(both sexes) but remind them who's boss. Reward them for postive behavior and punish them for bad behavior. And when the baby comes your wife will be really tired, having a baby takes a lot out of you, so when the baby cries at 3 in the mroning let your wife rest and go take care of your child. And one more thing, this may sound silly but talk to your baby now, while its still inside your wife's belly, believe it or not your baby knows who's it's daddy, talking to them now at such an early stage helps to better the relationship between you and your child. Well I hope this helps. Good luck!!!!!!! : )
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