A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hiso i found out my bf went for a bachelore party. he told me they had normal strippers. unfortunately i found out, that those "strippers" were fingering each other and using other stuff to please themseves infront of the guys and also giving double heads for 200 dollars/ Is this normal?? I am just little confused. He told me he didnt do anything, and I believe him, i just find this kinda fun little too much, since its suppose to be a celebration of marriage .. to me it seems more like cheating!!what do you guys think
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Replacement, I absolutely agree with your comment and you are thinking exactly like me, and I thought I was wrong! Now I hear it from a man!
I am definetely showing my BF that it was wrong and I do not agree with it. He told my friend, that this party wasnt even the craziest he has seen .. that he went for much worse than this .. so now I am thinking what the heck is he talking about? ... but that was before we even met
Thanks guys for your help and support
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 If he truly believes that "this is what guys do" (pay a couple women to go down on them and finger one another), then he has obviously had some pretty pitiful male role models in his life. It might be what BOYS do, and I hate to be rude, but MEN don't need to pay hookers to give them head... and MEN wouldn't be creepy enough to watch them pretend to be lesbians... I would think that a grown up person would have more respect for women and more respect for themselves.Of course, your boyfriend says he didn't partake (and I believe him, $200 for a blowjob? Why bother?) then he didn't... but he did watch, presumably he liked it (that or he was so horrified he couldn't peel his eyes away?), and now he is justifying it, and claiming it is normal. Has he ever seen a stripper before? Any guy with experience in strippers knows that "good" ones are professional enough not to take things too far. They tease you, but they won't go down on you. Either way, you shouldn't have to "get used" to your boyfriend renting prostitutes with his buddies so that he can watch them fingerf**k each other and do other equally ridiculous things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): He may be being a little bit of a jerk... But he didn't take part in any of it. Be thankful for that.
To be honest if I was a guy and had been there and these "strippers" started doing such things, I would be so suprised that I think I would stay to see what the hell they did next.
It's like watching porn I guess... In the flash. Lots of guys watch pron and I don't think there'd be much hope in stopping them.
Maybe you should tell him how uncomfortable it make you feel. It's better to resolve the issue than remain feeling bitter because of the whole thing.
Good Luck. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you!
thats what i thought! its not normal !! they were not strippers but prostitutes! I have couple of female strippetr friends and they told me the would never do anything like that at all! they are payed to dance for bachelore,than pack their shit up and leave
its actually note my bf thats getting married but his friend; he was just a part of it all ...
Im not blaming him for anything. but i do feel very disapointed that he didnt leave when it got this this wrong and disgusting. he told me, he is a guy, guys is do these things and to get use to it ...I think he is beeing a jerk!
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (28 May 2008):
I have never seen strippers finger one another or give BJs... and I've been to a lot of bachelor parties. I have a few female friends who strip at clubs and at similar parties, and I am pretty sure they'd never do anything like that either. Strippers are supposed to provide some entertainment for drunk, horny men- they aren't prostitutes.
Anyway, it's not cheating unless your boyfriend got a blowjob, but it is pretty sleazy. Personally, I would have left the room the moment they started fingering one another because that's just too pathetic and degrading... I'm picturing the scene from "Requiem for a Dream"... sorry, but any women who give BJs for cash and perform sexual acts for a bunch of drunken idiots, are just too pathetic for me to watch.
Your boyfriend needs some classier friends.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 May 2008):
 These strippers sound pretty lousy and pretty slutty. Seriously, where did they hire these guys? From a street corner or porn studio? Most professional strippers will remain completely professional and even if they did get THAT dirty, it would cost a HELL of a lot more than $200 dollars. Not only were your husband's featured dancers skanky, they were cheap (not a classy combo - but for brain dead, drunk, bachelor-partiers, probably just right).
But, unless your guy was getting some from these women, I wouldn't blame him. Often, it is the best man or groomsmen or brother's responsibility to plan and throw the bachelors party. I don't think you fella is exactly to blame, and let's face it - he came home to you and it's you that he's marrying. If he loves you to bits and pieces and is excited to make you his wife, I would completely let go this 'dirty stripper' problem and go ahead and enjoy your wedding.
Congratulations, sweetness!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): I don't think it's either a celebration of marriage (you've got enough of that to do the next day at the actual wedding) or cheating. It's more about having a laugh with your friends whilst they do embarrassing, but funny things to you, one last riot before you settle down for good.
They don't sound like professional strippers to me... But don't blame your boyfriend for that. He wasn't interested and I don't think it was his idea to drive along beside traffic-lights to pick up "strippers".
Try to let it go... And maybe suggest that if you ever get married then to get his strippers from somewhere registered.
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Batchelor parties are seen as the last opportunity of living life as a single guy, the women's equivilent being the Hen Night, the strippers may have been a bit over board, but I think you should count yourself lucky that the rule was pay or no play. You should also thank yourself lucky that your guy kept away from it, most guys would be right in there, and I don't think you've got anything to worry about as long as you trust him. It's just a part of life that we've got to get over!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Sounds like youre marrying a child.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (27 May 2008):
 It's been my experience that all levels of debauchery can happen at a bachelor party. If your fiancee says he didn't partake, then believe him. Those parties are more like an excuse for your "wilder friends" to "cut loose" than for your fiancee's benefit. A bachelor party is more of men finding an excuse to kill a bear, skin it and beat their chests than about celebrating a marriage... also maybe to see how much trouble they can get into collectively... it's a guy thing...
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