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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Lost and depressed..did I allow an old flame to 'take me for a ride'?
Q. Hi, been looking for some help and advice as I feel very much on my own at the moment and feel that nobody else is in the same boat as myself. Looking at the site however, I feel that there are people who are experiencing the pain I am going through ...
A. 14 November 2008: How to get over a break up:
The pain will stick around for awhile. But one day you'll start to feel it less, and it will slip a little farther back in your mind. The next day, even more so and etc. Time is really the only thing that heals a broken... (read in full...)
Just a drunken night or something more?
Q. Okay so here's my story. Sophomore year I had a huge crush on this guy, let's call him Jeremy. My best friend at the time (let's call her Shay) knew of this crush, and after a few months of me crushing pretty hard decided she liked him too. So ...
A. 3 November 2008: So is this guy still with your best friend? That's not clear to me... because if he is, then I'll tell you right now - that guy is absolutely no good. Any dude who cheats on his girl, no matter what, is probably a dude to watch out for. I know that ... (read in full...)
What does 'sex is flat' mean?
Q. heya i really need help. what does it mean when someone says "sex is flat" and they say its not your fault. what does it mean ? should I be worried? please help x x x x x ...
A. 3 November 2008: Sex is flat...
Like flat soda... you need some carbonation in your sex life, sister. Your boyfriend may feel like he is the reason that the sex lacks excitement, like he doesn't please you enough or that he's not doing things right.
You can... (read in full...)
Fancy dress prom coming up! I have naturally red hair. Which actress could I go as?
Q. Hey Not a relationship question, but I've seen random questions answered here...So here we go. I've got this fancy dress prom coming up (In my last year and a prefect) and I don't like wearing wigs and my hair is naturally a ginger-red colou...
A. 1 November 2008: Lucille Ball (I Love Lucy)... Molly Ringwald (Breakfast Club) ... Laura Prepon (That 70's Show), Julia Roberts (Pretty Woman), Geena Davis (Thelma & Louise), Gillian Anderson (X-Files)....
If you can be a character, you could be Wendy (as in the f... (read in full...)
Now I'm single and he's with someone else. What do I do?
Q. There's this boy at college, that I've had a crush on for months, and he used to like me, but at the time I already had a boyfriend (a total mistake). I didn't like him then either. Now I'm single and I know I've fallen head over heels for this guy, ...
A. 1 November 2008: Hello my darling,
I wouldn't tell him right now. The timing just isn't right on this one and telling him could make your situation really bad and awkward. Like "qcumbr1" says, he could end up resenting you for screwing up his relation... (read in full...)
Should I get him a gift in return for his good advice?
Q. I've recently become FWB with a co-worker (we work in separate departments). He gave me some advice regarding an accident I was in, and as a result I've come into some money (over $800), which will really help me out with some bills, altho he says I ...
A. 1 November 2008: A small gift is always considerate - even just a really thoughtful card will do the trick. Use the rest to pay off bills!... (read in full...)
He's got a secret cell phone, could he be cheating on me?
Q. I think my husband is having an affair! my husband has a cell phone that i "accidentally" found out about! he says his mom gave it to him. he hides it ALL the time, and if i ask to see it, he gets mad. the one time he let me hold it for a ...
A. 30 October 2008: Wow - massively sketchy situation you have. The whole "my Mom gave it to me" excuse is the most bogus thing I've ever heard. His whole clueless act is ridiculous. If he's hiding it and has it all locked up from your prying eyes, he has something to ... (read in full...)
Do guys like having their nipples sucked?
Q. Ok I need as much deatil as possible please A time or two I have had guys lick/nibble my ear and I really liked it, but I have never done it to someone else, and I would like to try it out, areas to avoid _________, certain areas only get _______...
A. 30 October 2008: My guy LOVES, LOVES getting nipple action. I would think that it would definitely vary from guy to guy just as it would from woman to woman. I think if you go for it, (a light lick is a good kick-off move) you'll be able to gauge his reaction pretty ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to masturbate the nights he works?
Q. hello my husband works 4 nights a week we are in our early forties we have lots of sex no need for me to want more ,but at night time is when im horniest even though he pleases me is it wrong for me to masturbate on the nights he works?...
A. 30 October 2008: Nothing wrong with it!! Have a little solo lady time. Light some candles, play some Al Green and get down. Afterwards, eat some ice cream and watch Sex & the City reruns.... (read in full...)
I'm really beginning to HATE his ex!
Q. The girl that my ex dumped me for has put pics of him and her on her facebook page and I found them this morning. I feel so bitter I keep going to write her a nasty message but then stop half way through cos I know it will make me look bad. But It ...
A. 30 October 2008: I don't think there's any need for you to write her a letter. She is his girlfriend now, and she can put up pictures of them if she likes. Yes, it's completely tacky, but not something that you should attack her for.
You need to work on getting ... (read in full...)
My mum or my girl?
Q. I have the worst situation in life, my mum and my girlfriend dont get on, I love them both a lot and I feel I have to choose but I dont want to... I need them both in my life and they both need me for emotional support but i dont know what to do...
A. 27 October 2008: Why does she dislike your girlfriend? Are her reasons genuine? Does your girlfriend treat her poorly or treat you badly? I think that's an important question to be answered before advice can really be given.
... (read in full...)
How can I overcome getting low when I don't hear from him?
Q. I'm in love with a man who has a partner but says he will keep in touch with me ( we have just become good friends and I am happy as that)! - He rings on occasion - when he can get away - but on nights he doesn't I start to really panic that I ...
A. 27 October 2008: Girlfriend!!! What are you doing to yourself??
Okay, this guy really has you wrapped around your finger and you are way too good for that action! You are currently living your life by HIS terms, and that needs to stop. Obviously he's not the best... (read in full...)
Am I pushing him too hard to get married?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and i complain to him allthe time'when we going to get married' and he complains that he wants to give me the perfect wedding so he wants to basically wait till we have money well we are moving ...
A. 27 October 2008: You are young, and while your relationship is a long one, you can't blame him if he's still not quite ready to get married. You have been together since you were so young, and while you might be ready to tie the knot, he might not be. And I don't ... (read in full...)
Fell for him only to find out that he's taken...
Q. I met this guy a few months ago and weve been close mates ever since he told me about a month in that he liked me but i told him i wasnt sure how i felt yet. For the past few weeks ive totally fallen for him, hes all i think about. I asked to mee...
A. 27 October 2008: What a crappy situation.
The best thing you can do is get a move on with moving on. Waiting around for this guy is just a waste of valuable time and energy. So get out there and start socializing up a storm and getting involved with new things. ... (read in full...)
Is he my bf or not?
Q. so i have known i meet his guy 8 weeks ago. i am 22 by the way and he is 32. well he is my friends neighbor but that was like the first time anything more than pleasantries was said. 5 weeks ago we made out, it was also the first time we had hung...
A. 27 October 2008: It sounds to me like he's just a little scared of that label "boyfriend". Some guys, it just sounds so intense. They would rather be "dating" someone - maybe because it sounds like they have more freedom.
I would keep going on the path you're g... (read in full...)
Confused and in Love...
Q. I'm in love with this man. We are about 6 years apart in age difference. We've known each other since about 9 years now. He says he never wants a relationship with anyone. Yet he says he loves me, and he knows I love him. He does not want me to get ...
A. 27 October 2008: Sounds like you should tell him your feelings. Let him know that you love him and know he loves you. Tell him that you would love a relationship based on such a great friendship with him.
If he still insists that he's not wanting a relation... (read in full...)
Why does he feel awkward around me now? Nothing happened!
Q. There is this guy who I was friends with last year. We hooked up but we didnt go all the way cause I wasnt ready. After that, it felt awkward and we stopped hanging out with each other. I saw him at a party, he was drunk and so was I. I was trying ...
A. 27 October 2008: I completely agree with RugMonkey (hilarious/somewhat dirty name). It is probably awkward between you because if the completely awkward incident that happened. He was going for it and you gave him the stop sign. He thought you were interested, and ... (read in full...)
Lost and depressed..did I allow an old flame to 'take me for a ride'?
Q. Hi, been looking for some help and advice as I feel very much on my own at the moment and feel that nobody else is in the same boat as myself. Looking at the site however, I feel that there are people who are experiencing the pain I am going through ...
A. 27 October 2008: Hello there,
I do think you've been taken for a little bit of a ride, but it could be that your ex girlfriend is feeling guilty for screwing with your life, which she should be because she did. I'm glad that you realize what you've done here, be... (read in full...)
Why don't my boobs match ?
Q. my left breast is smaller then right breast.. please help me out. i am not able to tell my mom i want to recover with this problem ...
A. 27 October 2008: Hello my darling,
I'm professionally familiar with breasts of all shapes and sizes and believe me, your breasts are completely normal. It's very typical to see uneven breasts - up to a cup difference. More than that is more rare, but not unheard ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for girls to make themselves orgasm?
Q. Ok, well this is very embarrassing to be asking about but is it ok for girls, at my age (14) to make themselves... orgasm? Becacause I have this thing I do where if I imagine certain things (no need to go into that though) and rub against my... you ...
A. 24 October 2008: Completely normal and acceptable, my sweet! Just make sure your hands are clean before you start to play. Exploration and experimentation is GREAT to do at at your age. There's nothing wrong with exploring your body.... (read in full...)
Is it harmful for me that he sucks my nipples during sex?
Q. I Just married women my husband is very understandable he makes me happy during sex but i m confused about one point, that he is suking my nipples {not bite} he want to make me happy but is this right?I Like it too but little bit confused that it i...
A. 24 October 2008: Sucking nipples is in no way dangerous to you or your husband. It's a pretty typical part of foreplay! As long as you both are comfortable with it, it is completely fine to do.... (read in full...)
Since he broke up with me its like my life shutdown! Any advice?
Q. A week ago my boyfriend brokeup with me. this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to face,i really loved him and i was stunned when he ended it. we were together for 9 month and we had our highs and lows but i never stopped loving him,.since he ...
A. 23 October 2008: Hello my dear... I just answered a similar question and thought I'd just give you the same advice I gave her. One thing I'd like to say to you personally is to tell your ex to stop calling. If he broke up with you and expects you to move on, he's ... (read in full...)
I love him, but hate him also. Is he just playing me?
Q. There's this boy and ever since i was 13 we have been seeing eachother on and off and now i am 16 i have finally decided to end it full stop..we stopped all contact! He then started seeing this other girl, leah, for a few months. i bumped into him ...
A. 23 October 2008: Oh, forget about that guy. He seems to crave attention, and he likes your consistency in his life. The fact that you're getting over him is probably driving him crazy because he knows he won't have a back-up plan for affection when his flavor of the ... (read in full...)
This guy kissed me (I'm male) and more has happened since!
Q. Me and 5 other mates went to South Africa for a holiday which we said that we had been planning and talking about for nearly 3 years. 1 of the guys who came with us was openly gay. He wasn't camp or anything like that lol. The group, myself ...
A. 23 October 2008: Hey sweet,
I don't think you need to throw yourself into a proverbial box so quickly. You found something new, and I encourage you to experiment. Be SAFE - ALWAYS. Girl or guy, I don't care, ALWAYS make sure that the sex you have is 100% safe.
... (read in full...)
Why does my wife want to "just play" and not have sex?
Q. all my wife wants to do is give me head or jerk me off and all i want is to touch her but when i do she says no or stop i dont want to have sex i just want to play to it feels like its been like this for months ...
A. 23 October 2008: Hello,
I think that the first two posters answered the question INCREDIBLY well - maybe you're just not reading their replies right.
With my boyfriend I went through a stint where all I wanted to do was please him. I would jump at the chance to... (read in full...)
My parents arent supporting my decision to have this baby
Q. please help me! im 15 and i am 38 weeks pregnant. my parents arn't supporting me at all and they are threatening to throw me out once the baby is born unless i have an abortion. my boyfriend died just after i became pregnant as he got ran over so ...
A. 23 October 2008: BABYLOVE had a great idea - why don't you contact your late boyfriends parents and explain your situation to them? I'm sure that they would be thrilled to have a part of their son and their sons love with them.
I'm so sorry that your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My partner is in Iraq at present and I am missing him so much!
Q. My partner is currently in Iraq at present and I'm missing him so bad its unbelievible! We love each other and we are the practically the same person we are that much alike... The problem is the intimate times we have together are mind blowing, ...
A. 23 October 2008: I'm so sorry that you and your love have to be separated while he's in Iraq. What a great thing he is doing and what a great thing YOU are doing, by supporting him and staying faithful to him.
But, not masturbating while he is away - the thought ... (read in full...)
If he wanted to stay friends why hasn't he called?
Q. Hi everyone. Me ans my ex were together for 6 months but two weeks ago, we broke up. It was pretty mutual I guess, but he initiated it. He said that he didnt want us to hate each other and didnt wanna lose me as a friend and still wanted to hang ...
A. 23 October 2008: Hi, m'dear...
It hasn't been terribly long yet. Not to mention, I think it's best if you take a longer break. You still have feelings for him and talking frequently will do you no good. You may want to try and rekindle things and he might not be i... (read in full...)
He says I scare him because I want a commitment. How do I respond?
Q. I've been dating a 52 year old (i'm 43) for 2 months, today he emailed me, he says: I scare him because it seems I'm pushing for a commitment and he's not ready for that right now. How do I respond to that??????...
A. 23 October 2008: You say "okay, no problem. I just really enjoy your company and I look forward to enjoying it again (insert the next time you're seeing him here)"
Two months is not terribly long in a relationship and maybe he is a little overwhelmed by you if y... (read in full...)
Do men shave their pubes? Do women like it if they do?
Q. Hey, just a quikie...do men shave thier pubes? like i always thought armpit shaving was a girl thing but i have seen men do it, and i tried to shave my crotch pubes once because i see loads of men with no pubes thier, so i thought it was normal to. ...
A. 23 October 2008: A nice close trim does the trick. If you shave, you'll be real itchy, real fast. You'll feel uncomfortable than sexy. A close trim is just perfect.
But armpits? I am a strong believer in fellas shaving THAT mess. It is just as gross on guys as ... (read in full...)
Why is it that boys are obsessed with breasts?
Q. Hey guys, I am 15 years old and am blessed with generous cups. My bf regards my breasts very sexy. Why is that boys are obssessed with breasts? My all bfs used to suck breasts more than to have sex. Personally,I like that but I dont understand ...
A. 22 October 2008: As a Victoria's Secret employee (I wear a pin that says "bra specialist", so I guess that means you can really trust me), I say get yourself a good bra!! It may be uncomfortable because you're wearing the wrong size, or in a material that is ... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to stop pressuring me?
Q. Hi My name is Jenny i am a lesbien who has just come out to my family and my girlfiend keeps pushing me further she wants to move in together i have told her that this is going to fast we have only dated for two months and i just dont know what to ...
A. 22 October 2008: She is not showing a lot of consideration for you. You're completely in the right here, girlfriend. Don't move in yet - it's too fast!! There's no need to rush things and start living together.
Not to mention, it will just make it worse for your... (read in full...)
I love her, but am now questioning how the relationship began...
Q. May of 2006 I stayed at my friends apt for three weeks until I found my own apt for the summer. She is a girl, and we both liked each other at different times in our three year friendship. Almost immediately before I moved in, she was broken u...
A. 21 October 2008: Hello my darling,
First off - let me say... Ithaca!! I am from Ithaca!! Yay Ithaca!! Now I live in Oregon (school), and miss Wegmans and D.P. Dough most of all.
So, on to your issue. I think that you don't need to make her long term promis... (read in full...)
I miss company after I broke up with my boyfriend, what can I do?
Q. hi im finding my life at the moment really hard,when i was with my boyfriend i was constently out with him or over his house or talking to him on the phone,where now i hardly go out, hardly talk to him and i hate not sharing a bed with anyone, ...
A. 21 October 2008: Do you have any friends you can hang out with?? You need to be distracted for awhile and you need some socializing!! Call up some girlfriends, have some fun - have a sleepover like you used to when you were kids. You know, movies, nail polish, the ... (read in full...)
How do I get over it?
Q. So heres the thing.... I have this ex boyfriend (I'll call him jay) and I'm still in love with him but I recently found out that he's with another girl and I actually saw pictures of them making out. I can't stop crying over all of the pain I'm ...
A. 16 October 2008: Ooooh, my sweet. I want to give you a huge hug.
Break ups are the WORST, especially when you're not the one who moves on first. I totally understand, my darling.
The best you can do, at least what has always worked best for me and my girlfrien... (read in full...)
I want to get a tattoo in memory of my grandmother, any suggestions about the place so that it isn't quite noticeable?
Q. My grandmother recently passed away and I was considering gettinga tattoo to remember her by. My family motto is "vil god i zal" which basically means with god you can do anything. My families heritage was a big part of our family and in my ...
A. 16 October 2008: Get it tattooed around your ankle or your hip... that way it is easily covered up.
I do agree with the other Aunts and Uncles, while I think your idea is a sweet, great idea, I do suggest waiting for a little while to make sure you really want to ... (read in full...)
What are little things to turn him on in and outside the bedroom? I am to show I want him too!
Q. Please could you help me turn my boyfriend on, in and out of the bedroom. The other day, he said he thinks i dont enjoy having sex with him and that if it wasn't for him, we would never have sex as he is always the one who makes the first move. I ...
A. 16 October 2008: I think that waiting to have sex will make you feel sexier in the bedroom. Give yourself time to get intimate with your boyfriend in different ways, emotional ways. When you are completely at ease, you will turn into a crazed sex kitten in the ... (read in full...)
I now feel really horrible for worrying my parents. How can I make things better?
Q. I'm an almost eighteen college student and until about three weeks ago I had never even been kissed. However, that was when I met my current boyfriend. We had sex the first night we met (yes I know how easy that makes me sound) and because I had no ...
A. 16 October 2008: Hello, my darling...
Well, your Mother is worrying from the right place in her heart. You and your boyfriend are moving EXTREMELY fast!! It would be easier if you were a little older and doing this kind of thing.
I suggest that you find yoursel... (read in full...)
Am I gay or just curious?
Q. Hey. I am a 15 year old boy, smack bang in the middle of puberty. For the last year I have been getting off to gay porn, I want to have sex with other guys, I like the whole idea of being gay and Last week I had sex with a guy. The thing is, I used ...
A. 15 October 2008: A little bit of both, my sweet. As you said, you are smack dab in the middle of adolescence and sexualities sometimes take a lifetime to develop all the way!
It seems to me that you're definitely bisexual, since you enjoy men so much and have enj... (read in full...)
How do husbands/wives of actors/actresses deal with this jealousy?
Q. Help Help Help. I think I might be overreacting, but then sometimes I think I'm not and I should feel jealous. My wife is a pre-school teacher, and an opportunity for a Kindergarten position came up (at more than twice the salary), but my wife and ...
A. 15 October 2008: I'm a theater geek and think that my boyfriend could sympathize with you. He's seen me on stage smoochin' up on lots of fellas (and a lady, which he was quite enthusiastic about).
The thing is, he knows as well as I know, that I truly have a p... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but he is straight, what can I do?
Q. hey there. there is this guy that i really like. he has already had sex with a girl, but I really, really, really like him. I mainly want to lay beside him or on top of him in bed, but he is straight and i dont know what to do. please help me ...
A. 15 October 2008: Start getting over him! Lusting after someone who will never reciprocate is a waste of valuable energy!... (read in full...)
My friend is putting doubts in my head...
Q. Well my boyfriend and I dont go to the same school, so I only see him 2-3 days a week (usually friday, saturday and sunday) During the school week (mon-thur) it seems like we're so busy that we barely talk (we talk about 1-2 days between mon-thurs) ...
A. 14 October 2008: You and your boyfriend seem to have something good going on! Sure you don't see him every day, but your situation is a lot better than being in a long distance relationship when you NEVER see each other. Space is healthy for a relationship, ... (read in full...)
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