A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please give me advice as what to do.I had an emotional affair with a married man... I am married too. We never saw each other after the affai began but we had met previously thru work. We talked everyday and I loved him deeply. His wife caught him and things ended abruptly and we never talked again. I told my husband everything and after a few weeks he forgave me and we are working thru things. His wife called me and I told her very little as I was hoping they could save their marriage as kids are involved. She harrassed me weekly by texting me and calling me all kinds of names. I told her I was sorry and told her I would be out of their lives time after time. She has slowly stopped texting as frequently but last week she called and wants to talk. She wants to know about our relationship.My gut feeling is that it will only cause her more pain and that she needs to get the information from her husband. She blames me for everything. I know my part has hurt her but I took responsibility in my house and took full blame as I am the one who took vows to my husband as her husband took them to her. I don't want to make her angrier by not replying but I want to stay out of their marriage but she keeps sucking me back in. I know I am a horrible person but what is done is done and I am trying my best to hold my family together and not causing theirs anymore turmoil. Please help. Do I call her or ignore her? Btw she is psychotic and has threatened me on many levels. He has connections and has done illegal things already to discover our affair... Don't blame her but she is willing to do whatvit takes. I think that is why their marriage is crumbling. She is a control freak and is a very mean person and an evil heart.
View related questions:
affair, married man, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I am going to agree with Jonas -- assuming that the chat can be done in a safe manner. Make sure it is held in a semi-public place where emotions and threats of violence can't be carried out. Also, insist that her husband be there too. That way everything is out in the open. I would not recommend meeting her one on one -- especially if she is psychotic or prone to violence.
I also agree that it is probably best that you change your cell phone number. Also keep a record of the text messages she is sending you. If any are remotely violent or threatening in any way, I recommend that you report her to the local authorities.
It sounds like you have made some amends to her but I worry about her potentially escalating this where she will want to get physical revenge upon. If there is any doubt about her sanity, than I would avoid meeting her.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Ignore her. Your connection to your husband, your peace of mind is worth more than your curiosity about his wife. What she needs is understanding her part in the failing of her marriage, forgiving and moving on, or divorce if nothing solves. You are not the right person to make her think that.
...............................
|
