A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay cutting the whole story short about 3 or 4 months ago i was desperate to get out of a relationship with this girl. She was constantly depressed due to health/family/past-issues and problems and i just kept getting drained constantly i had to quit.It was tough breaking up but the deed was done but she hasn't backed down on trying to get me back one bit. INFACT to be honest i think her efforts get stronger by the day.With the amount of love she professes and shows me i am many-a-times tempted to love her back but is this genuine love?Let me not fail to mention, she has abruptly turned over a new leaf, tries immensely to stay happy has literally turned her life around to match my books and this is not far from flattering.My main question therefore is: If a girl tells me she loves me constantly and i start getting tired of hearing it does it mean i dont love this person or is it just my non-repeat-liking self at work.Also if a girl messages me and i leave the message unread until i am perfectly comfortable to read it does it mean again that i do not truly love this girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you... Excellent advice :)... much love
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012): It could be just compassion, that you care for this girl, but you know when you are in love. If you miss her when she is not around, if you think about her all the time, is she the first thing you think of in the morning? and last thing at last? If you answered yes to those questions then it is love and perhaps you are in denial...
Then if you answered no then I would say you just care about this girl as a friend. She obviously loves you and wants to improve on herself. To answer your last question about not reading the message until you are ready, well you should think about how you feel when you get that message, excited, happy, annoyed... that should answer you're question.
I am going to tell you though, nobody here can say if you love this girl, you need to get in touch with your own emotions and question how you would feel if she was not part of your life. Love is all about feelings, you can't think too much where love is concerned.
You go with how you feel, so don't be afraid to get in touch with your feelings. You holding out reading the message could be a sign that you are fighting your feelings because you don't want to seem weak or get hurt, but they are the risks we take with love and sometimes it works out and sometimes not, but hey that's what life is all about right?!
Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Love can be a feeling but practically it's also a decision. If she is genuinely happy she should be so with or without you. Some compassion drives people to protect and nurture, while some run away not because they are selfish or incapable, but simply it's not their life path to save a person. A supportive partner can only acknowledge what a person is feeling, but can't solve problems. The deed is done which means you should stop reading her messages or better yet open another account. Genuine love also means you know what's best for the other person. If she thinks for you and can think outside of her depressed, needy self then she would know that your life would be better without the emotional drain. For her, the best thing for her now is to develop independence and confidence through life experience. Only you can decide if you want to be part of that experience. If you get back together, would it be a codependent relationship or an equal relationship. What's the possibility that she grew into a new person or what's the possibility that in the future she would sink back into depression and you couldn't handle it. Is this depression a phase, a dark night of the soul, or is it a chronic thing. If she was married to you then you had to stick through thick and thin. You are still young and you have many options in life and that is why love can be a decision.
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