A
female
age
30-35,
*immiluvb
writes:I wanna know how can I stop being so needy and flip the script to show him I can be good on my own. I wanna make him Chase me and work for me like he did when we first met... Me and and him been off and on for a year now, and I can't help it that I care about him so much. He knows that I'm always gonna be there for him so now he is starting to take me for granted at least that's what it feels like. So I just need to find a way to show him that I won't always be there if he don't step up and take notice in me like he use to... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kimmiluvb +, writes (19 November 2011):
kimmiluvb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes true and I can tell you now he is not a player and he really does love me. Like you said I gotta let it go and when he is ready let him bpack in...
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 When he was taking notice of you he was chasing you and that was part of his game. Some men chase for fun, some do it for real. You have to know that the excitement that comes with it is not love. Players say things to get you fall in love and then ignore you later do not consider your feelings. They are future fakers, people who make promises to get what they want at the present moment. When you talk about something serious they creep back into their player selves. You have to distinguish between players and sincere men. Players are people you try to forget. Real men are people you invite back.
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A
female
reader, kimmiluvb +, writes (19 November 2011):
kimmiluvb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI kinda agree with what your saying and then again I'm kinda not understanding. Like your saying that I should leave him alone and wait until he is ready to be with me again and invite him on with open arms?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 November 2011):
You can't make him do anything or feel anything. I know that a break up is on you mind. You won't do it but at least you think about it. Let's be realistic, if most men get like this when things get comfortable, then a threat of a break up won't be a good solution because you will run into the same problems with the next man. What you have to accept is that men are different from women. They are like rubber bands. They need to disconnect then connect because of how they are wired. They grow up to distant themselves from their mothers in order to function as a man. As they mature this woman becomes you. Women on the other hand does not feel the need to disconnect. First you have to accept this difference. It has nothing to do with losing interest, definitely not because he's not that into you anymore. Before you sense that he does not seem so loving you should take the initiative to disconnect even though this is counter productive. Then welcome him back when he's ready to see you again. Make him feel safe to be a man, which is bouncing back and forth for love, and never question or complain about the way he is because you are loving a man, and not a woman. You may say to yourself well isn't this being phony? It will feel that way but it's worth it. You will feel like you are losing him by disconnecting but quite the contrary, this is what he really needs to come back to you more lovingly.
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