A
female
age
36-40,
*i_the_tree
writes:Hello again aunts and uncles. Title speaks for itself really! How do you let someone go from your life, when you genuinely don't think you can do it??I know what people will say as i have commented on many posts just like this, "keep yourself busy", "take up a hobby you enjoy doing" etc etc, but it's not as simple as that.Up until the new year, i was blessed with the fact i could do as much overtime at work as i liked. Now new contracts have been imposed and i'm limited to 16 hours work a week. It can be done over 4 days, or just 2 days if needed, depends on the other staff members and their contracts. So throwing myself into work is out!Due to massive cut in hours, i'm also short on cash now. I've taken steps to make things easier (moving to a shop closer to home to save on fuel) but it's still gonna be tough. Work is scarce where i live so i can't really earn any extra money. I'd love to take up horse riding again, but it's bloody expensive!! So that's out too!!What the hell am i supposed to do??? I know i can read books etc, but i'll go mad if i sit round the house for too long. There's walking, but the weather is pretty damn miserable right now, this will become better as winter passes.I've got plans to start uni in Sept, which i'm really looking forward to. I just need some help for the meantime...Thanks xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): I've been in a similar position and other than time and realising you can't change someone else's mind about wanting to be with you there is nothing you can do.
Your either mope or get in touch with family and friends to try and keep your mind off it :-/
One thing I have thought of for you is whatever you're planning to do in uni in Sept, is there anything you could volunteer for in the field of study you plan to go into? 1)it would keep your mind occupied (though you won't earn cash from it, and 2), you may get to meet a whole new set of friends of both sexes?
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (12 February 2012):
I posted a similar question not long ago and the answers I got did help. At the end of the day, things will get better, but its been nine months and I still think about my ex alot - too much probably.... and I'm dating lots of different people... not much is going to help. One thing I did day to day was indulge in one thing you really love each day - long bath with a book, exercise for long period of time, afternoon naps whatever. during that time you can think about your ex but enjoy yourself also - relax!!!
It will get less and less as time goes on, be prepared to always have a soft spot for the ex though, it depended on why you both broke up.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 February 2012):
 Yep agree with Janniepeg, you done the keeping busy thing, you've had time to heal a little and become used to being single again. Time to hit the dating scene and at least get used to being told your pretty again. I'm not talking love, or even sex, just go out with suitable guys with the aim to feel attractive again.
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A
female
reader, naley  +, writes (12 February 2012):
 You could try writing a letter to the person but not sending it. This serves to let you vent all the things you still have issues with and release all the feelings you have. There is something about putting pen to paper. Then you can destroy the letter. Sort of a way of literally making yourself 'let go'.
And sometimes I think it's ok to think about it - I find if I keep myself too busy then it's just being buried until a later date. I think confronting all the emotions you don't want to feel sort of helps in a way. The sooner you get it all out, the sooner you'll be able to finally detach and move on.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, bardia  +, writes (12 February 2012):
 You can. You will. I left mine January 2nd. I know the whole "hobby" thing is always mentioned, but there's truth to it, and there are things you can do that aren't very expensive. Get some books on different kinds of arts and crafts--even the materials aren't that expensive--origami, for an example. Makes you THINK about what you're doing in the moment and if you concentrate on something like that then you can't think about him. I just took up flamenco dancing--difficult as hell! So it's really a good distraction. Join some community volunteer organizations (chances to meet more people there, too). I did community theater for a while. If you're athletic, go hiking, snow shoeing in the winter, jogging--you can't think about him so much when you're freezing as you're running down the street! There are a lot of inexpensive things you can get into--you just have to do a little digging sometimes. And my ex is (VERY LITTLE BY LITTLE) getting out of my head. We've got a long road to recovery. Good luck...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 February 2012):
 No matter what people say, in my experience dating someone new is the fastest and best way to let an ex go. A date is not a promise that a relationship would happen, but it certainly makes you focus on the new person. It would be unrealistic, if not impossible, to land yourself a date by tuesday. You never know if you don't try.
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