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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 18 March 2012: I don't do long distance.... (read in full...)
Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 17 March 2012: I would not fly over to meet a potential date ever. When money comes up before you even meet you should have cut that person off. ... (read in full...)
Open Relationships and Infidelity
Q. Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
A. 17 March 2012: I look at polyfidelity itself as an escape from monogamy lifestyle. The kind of person you are talking about is the one who would rebel against any kind of model and rules. That person should not be in any relationships at all. It sounds like the ... (read in full...)
My husband is constantly making arrangements for us to be with his family and I don't want to!
Q. My husband has a very large family and he is constantly at their beck and call, doing things with them and helping them when he can. I have no issue with this and good for him but I don't want to have that kind of relationship with them. I have ...
A. 17 March 2012: I wonder if your husband has siblings. He must be the most accomodating one in his family. I have family members who are users and parasites. One aunt would try to make convesations with my dad but she made a stupid comment and my dad just ignored ... (read in full...)
My husband is constantly making arrangements for us to be with his family and I don't want to!
Q. My husband has a very large family and he is constantly at their beck and call, doing things with them and helping them when he can. I have no issue with this and good for him but I don't want to have that kind of relationship with them. I have ...
A. 17 March 2012: I completely understand why you feel this way. There is a reason why I am here all alone in the country. I like privacy.
You see, these are things that you discuss before you get married but since you are married already, you have to comp... (read in full...)
Recognizing female friends that will let you go further then friends.
Q. Ok this is a dumb question, but one ive honestly began to ponder upon lately, and i thought what better place to take this question, I hang out with a lot of girls, not by any preference, it just happens that way, i never really even noticed until ...
A. 17 March 2012: I don't know about other females but if I am single and always visiting a guy, that's because I already consider him as a brother. I might flirt with him just to see if he reacts, and that's about it. I usually don't test the guy and wait for him. ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling so down but don't know why
Q. Im feeling really down lately. I cant put my finger on one reason for feeling like this, I think there are many factors. But the ones that get to me the most are that Im 29 in 2 months and still single. My age depresses me greatly. Im always looking ...
A. 17 March 2012: There is not much difference between you and other attached people, or people who had played the field and are still single. Many are married but just stay together because of convenience and financial benefits. Disappointment is a part of life and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont spend mothers day with me - am I overreacting?
Q. This time last year my grandmother died and it is mothers day weekend as everyone knows and my mum is working all day today and tomorrow. My boyfriend knows how upset i am, i was crying yesterday because I am just feeling quite lonely. At Christmas ...
A. 17 March 2012: Besides the family issues there must be other things that are bothering you about his behavior. I am not to sure what it means when he doesn't want to eat. Does he not like your food or is he showing disrespect for your family? Before you could hear ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but can't be a girlfriend right now. HUH?
Q. So my girlfriend told me that she wants a break because she can't be a girlfriend right now but she isn't breaking up with me but she tells me that i am the one. so i don't know what this means. does this mean we are broken up or just seperated or ...
A. 17 March 2012: She saw something that isn't quite right at this moment but she hopes that time would prove her wrong. What you should do is take it slower than she likes it to be. Chances are she would miss your qualities and reconsider. ... (read in full...)
B/f loves me but he's close to his best female friend and it makes me very uncomfortable
Q. My fiance is in love with his best friend. They have known eachother since they were very young and have always been close. They used to 'play dirty', like most kids do I guess, when they were about 7. They grew up together and he tried to start a ...
A. 16 March 2012: I know exactly what works but from an outsider's point of view I don't want to be with this guy who knows your insecurity but still chooses to prey on this weakness of yours, for an ego boost. To play this game you act like you don't give a damn ... (read in full...)
We were so in love, it's a year later and I still can't stop thinking about him.
Q. Why do I still love him after all these time? is there something wrong with me? I miss my ex boyfriend so much. I loved him so much, I never stopped loving him. We were so in love. We did everything together. He introduced me to his family and...
A. 14 March 2012: Sometimes when your heart is so stubborn, you just need one final closure because you still hope that he loves you. He is young and his breaking up reason sounds BS. What was it last time, split personality? What is that anyway? What was his ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a prostitute, can I get her to love me back?
Q. since a short time i started two have every times more feelings for this girl she is a young prostitute and what yes i was with many prostitutes and i never believed that one day i will fall in love in one i woud probally before be againt a person ...
A. 14 March 2012: What is your plan with her? Do you intend to marry her and what would her plan be? Would she get rich and invest in something or is she content with being a housewife? If you love her I can't see how you can share her with other men. I think you ... (read in full...)
What steps do I take to get back and be happy by myself ,knowing that I'm not single
Q. for the first time in our relationship..which is long distance from a while, my boyfirnd of two years ,who is too bust ,stressed and burdened with work and responsibilities in his life ..is asking me for "space" he also said that i give less ...
A. 11 March 2012: Being in a relationship is not enough to make you happy. I am sure not all men come home just to sleep. There has to be a balance of work, family and life. You can suspect that he is using work as an excuse and that he does not love you as much as ... (read in full...)
He said he hasn't loved me for a long time.
Q. Hi guys I am very sad and hurting right now because My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he told me he hasn’t felt love for me the same way as before in a long time. We were constantly arguing almost everyday. He used to say he loved me...
A. 11 March 2012: Real love does not begin at the first date, it begins when the infatuation period or the honeymoon period ends and you still decide to commit to each other. One thing you find out is whether you were arguing because you felt unloved, or were you ... (read in full...)
I'm upset that g/f lied to me about knowing an old lover
Q. I have been with more girlfriend for over a decade. Recently, a (female) friend of hers found her on Facebook. They lost touch because (I am told) they had a falling out over a guy. Her friend is living in France and married a Frenchman...
A. 10 March 2012: I don't think she wants to upset you by lying. Rather it was an unpleasant memory she doesn't want shared. Don't concentrate on the lies. Relate to her that it was probably humiliating that he chose her friend over her, like she was not good enough. ... (read in full...)
How can I get closure when she won't give it to me?
Q. Hi All, Long story short, a woman I was dating for about 8 months and whom I supported financially and emotionally turned out to be using me and was seeing and sleeping with another man (who was separated but not divorced from his wife). I was crus...
A. 10 March 2012: Hi Billy, your closure is that she is not a good woman to you and you deserve a woman who loves you for who you are, and not take money from you. Revenge does not work because she is very likely a product of men who used her and therefore thought ... (read in full...)
He loved me and wanted me and I threw it all away.
Q. I think I've messed things up with a guy i really like and i don't know how to fix it. I met this man 9 months ago - we had a two week fling and then we didn't see each other for 4 months as he went back to live in his home country. We stayed i...
A. 4 March 2012: He didn't love you. You couldn't expect a man who had a 2 week fling then suddenly want a relationship with you. The problem is not your pushing. It is a very reasonable thing to want an exclusive relationship. The problem is that you ... (read in full...)
My boss asked me if I am good in bed
Q. What should i do there a guy that the own of the market that i work at asked me if i was good in bed and told me that i could have who ever i want just have 2 let people what was he getting at am 32 his 59 how can i tell him that am not intertese ...
A. 4 March 2012: Obviously you didn't say yes to him, but he will try again. Just say you don't talk about personal stuff with people you work with. ... (read in full...)
I didn't know what to do so I ran back into my house!
Q. hi ...ok this is a question ....i want girls to answer it...plz i need help..ok im a guy of 17 who loves a girl who falls to be my neighbour...we hav been living in the same place for many years still we never hav talked or i dont even know her ...
A. 4 March 2012: This is so poetic. Such innocent puppy love. Build up resistance bit by bit. It is not so scary as you think. It only takes a normal casual conversation to break the ice.... (read in full...)
I had sex with my friend's dad.
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay so this is kinda tricky.. i'm good friends with this girl, not like my bestie or anything but we still hang out often enough. Started getting to know her through college, been hanging around with her for about a year, we're both...
A. 4 March 2012: You think you can still maintain a good friendship with your friend, if you say so. I myself love the thrill of keeping secrets. With friends you share everything. I am not judging you but I see that you value sex over this friendship. Her dad has ... (read in full...)
No longer attracted to my husband
Q. i dont find my husband attractive anymore and i dont know what to do. we have been married since feb 26th 2010 and even before we got married my heart just wasnt all the way in it but i did it anyway because i didnt have anywhere else to go and i ...
A. 4 March 2012: You don't find your husband attractive anymore, implying you used to? Children can do some awesome things to a marriage. When I say awesome I mean it tests the strongest couples. When you care about your happiness then you will be somewhat selfish. ... (read in full...)
Delicate subjects in serious relationships. What do you think?
Q. I had a 4-year "friends with benefits" relationship with a man. We were supposed to be looking for someone else at the same time we were being friends and having sex. It came as a shock when he announced the break up as we were doing so well,...
A. 4 March 2012: Do you not want love because you know he can't give it or you just don't want love? Do you wish he could love you later? Is he worth the wait? I know patience is a kind of love but without love something is missing. If he refuses to listen to you ... (read in full...)
Delicate subjects in serious relationships. What do you think?
Q. I had a 4-year "friends with benefits" relationship with a man. We were supposed to be looking for someone else at the same time we were being friends and having sex. It came as a shock when he announced the break up as we were doing so well,...
A. 3 March 2012: If I have enough trust for my boyfriend I would trust that he would do nothing more with a female friend in his room. He would also introduce me to her. In a committed relationship there is no room for jealousy and doubts. Before establishing rules ... (read in full...)
Delicate subjects in serious relationships. What do you think?
Q. I had a 4-year "friends with benefits" relationship with a man. We were supposed to be looking for someone else at the same time we were being friends and having sex. It came as a shock when he announced the break up as we were doing so well,...
A. 3 March 2012: In my opinion in a serious relationship people don't shift gears from friend to lover back to friend. I have had FWBS. I believe it could turn into real relationships but there are enough men who believe in the traditional model so I don't have to ... (read in full...)
Is there anything else we can do so that his ex doesn't use their kids as tools?
Q. Hiya So here is my question..I have been with my fella for 8 months and we are very happy together. He is my world. He has 2 gorgeous kids which I get on very well with - his son got upset when I had to go home!! I don't see them all the time, as...
A. 3 March 2012: So far I have only dated men without kids. Naturally my instinct would be to be a mother to children whatever race, but I would say to the mother that she is the irreplaceable figure in their lives and I am not going to take away that place. This is ... (read in full...)
Delicate subjects in serious relationships. What do you think?
Q. I had a 4-year "friends with benefits" relationship with a man. We were supposed to be looking for someone else at the same time we were being friends and having sex. It came as a shock when he announced the break up as we were doing so well,...
A. 3 March 2012: In this post I get a blurred definition of girlfriends, boyfriends and just friends. When you have a gf/bf you don't screw someone else. A friend is not someone you screw either. An FWB should stay that way because the relationship would not be ... (read in full...)
Why can't he move on? I am not prepared to be his 'comfort' if he intends to marry another girl.
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. About 8 months ago, he said we should get married. I met his family and his parents came to meet my parents. This is the way things are done in our culture. At this meeting, I realised that his father didn't like ...
A. 3 March 2012: He will slowly move on and you both will be okay. If he just went cold turkey with you you would have wondered how he could be so cold, that your love meant nothing, etc. Next time you date someone, you have to lay out your wishes, your plans on how ... (read in full...)
This kind sweet man is a cheater!
Q. Hi All! I am in a relationship with my colleague since a year. I'm 23 years old while he is 41 years old. He is separated (they used to have a lot of arguments) and has two kids who he meets regularly. He is a really nice guy. Friendly, helpf...
A. 3 March 2012: Now it's hard to let go but you can imagine how it would be for the next couple of months. Would you still be snooping on him (it seems he doesn't mind)? My assumption is that you haven't had sex with him yet and he needs to get this out of his ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to date him because of his race
Q. hi i have met a wonderful man online and we talk on the phone a lot, we will be meeting soon. i cant seem to get him put of my mind he is amazing! only problem is his asian and im white! if we actually did start a relationship, my faimily would ne...
A. 3 March 2012: I am not judgmental and I don't call people racist. This is a sensitive topic so I want to state that first. I also understand why people stay conservative. If you decide not to date him, let not this issue bother you and just move on. Only date him ... (read in full...)
My Ex is the only person who has ever turned me on. Why?
Q. What is wrong with me? is this normal? ? I've never been the kind of girl to get turn on or want sex. But my last boyfriend was different. He turned me on so much. Everything about him turned me on. His voice, his smell, his kisses, his touc...
A. 3 March 2012: Biological attraction can't be explained. Smell is a big factor when it comes to attraction. For me, looks is not all of it. I find myself getting turn on to most guys provided that they are not overweight or stinky.
You might be over your exbo... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 2 March 2012: I don't mind porn because I enjoy watching it. It has nothing to do with dissatisfaction in a relationship. When I was younger I watched a lot of porn. Now I watch it once in a while. For me it's not a compulsive habit. So if I have a boyfriend who ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friends that I'm dating someone again that cheated on me?
Q. I know that this sounds pathetic but here it goes im 23 i previously went out with a boy when i was 16 up until last xmas, we had a pritty much perfect relationship for 5 and a half years but when it came to last summer he wanted to move in and i ...
A. 2 March 2012: Last summer he wanted to move in. Where? Because you didn't want him to move in that's reason to argue for 6 months? Then he went on to see another girl because you didn't let him move in. He needs to grow up. Wanting to move in is not love. It is ... (read in full...)
Is it true that women never forget their first sexual partners?
Q. I'm a 30 y/o male, got married when I was 28 I have a 19 month old boy. I love my wife and child. But my question is the following: "when my wife and I had intimacy for the first time she made it very clear and reinstated that she wasn't a vir...
A. 2 March 2012: There was nothing special about my first time. I didn't think the first guy was any better than any other guy, and he is not in my mind at all. Virginity is not a prize I give to eligible men. I've had sex with an 18 year old virgin because I was ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 2 March 2012: He could be sexually abused as a child. The porn he sees helps him feel in control. Your view of him probably changed from boyfriend to victim, someone who needs your compassion. I have tried to love a man like that but gave up because he would ... (read in full...)
When I asked if my boyfriend would come to see me he said "thanks for the offer"! What is going on here?
Q. Hello, I am wondering if anyone of you have good insight to a mans mind... I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend that has left me confused! We were talking on the phone late in the evening the day before I was to leave to be at my moth...
A. 2 March 2012: Thanks for the offer means no. He could be tired, watching a game, doing household chores. Some men like to share everything in their lives but yours is secretive. He could have told you the reason why he stayed in, problem solved but no, you let ... (read in full...)
I am having thoughts of my girlfriend with another man and I am disgusted by this, how do I stop these thoughts?
Q. I have a girlfriend...we have been in a relationship for the past one and a half years...she's everything that I ever wanted and loves me very much...I plan on marrying her when the time is right...we haven't had a full sexual intercourse till now ...
A. 2 March 2012: There is a possibility that you like rough sex, many people do. Replace your thoughts of gentle loving sex with her with a happy smile on your faces. Part of the fun in bed is that sometimes you can have passionate animalistic sex, sometimes you ... (read in full...)
Can you explain how a guy dates many girls at one? Are there any feelings involved?
Q. I guess this is a question for guys. Why do some guys like to date many girls? I just don't understand how and why they do it. How about the feelings? Do you like one girl better than the other one and so forth? or how do you manage this? Do ...
A. 1 March 2012: Anything you say about a guy could be applied to a girl as well. I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a heterosexual woman of couse I am going to complain about men not that I don't know women have faults too. To answer your question ... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting a date on an online dating site?
Q. I am on a dating website, not going to name it here. I have been for about 3 years. I have not had a single date, whether I am not attractive enough or whatever! Anyway, two parts to this question: a) What does one write in a dating profile t...
A. 28 February 2012: In your profile, you do not boast about your success and interests. We don't care if you do snowmobiling or golf. All we want to know is how much you love women, and what you can offer a woman. Say that you will give 120% in a relationship, and you ... (read in full...)
Afraid of my strict parents!
Q. I'm so afraid of my parents! They've always been strict with me and they always feel like I'm being rebellious. But I don't feel the case. Whenever I'm hanging out with friends I tell them who I'm out with and where I am and what time I would be ...
A. 28 February 2012: A part time job is a different thing from partying. Let's see if they are willing to pick you up from work. If not there is nothing you can do. You are basically following rules because you still live with them. It's a yes or no whether you are ... (read in full...)
We were having a normal conversation and I had a massive urge to tell him I wanted to break up! Has anyone else experienced this? Is this some kind of sign?
Q. I am 3 years into a relationship with a guy that was, as I thought at first, the "one" but after the rosy glow of new love wore off there were disappointments and at this stage I love him dearly as a person but I don't think I can handle all the ...
A. 28 February 2012: Actually I have that done to me before, when anything and everything could turn into a break up issue. It was definitely the worst period of my time when I suffered from panic attacks. It is a sign that you should never string someone along and ... (read in full...)
Worried by my boyfriend's taste in porn, does he have a problem?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a question regarding my boyfriend's taste in porn. We have been together for over three years, and ever since the beginning of the relationship I knew he watched porn, and I didn't have a problem with it whatsoever. He was honest ...
A. 28 February 2012: He has an erection problem and he wants to find a thing that works because he thinks he is too young to take viagara. If sex is still not satisfying, it means that rough porn didn't work for him. But porn has become a habit and a distraction to his ... (read in full...)
Do you remember how/why you found Dear Cupid and did it help?
Q. Not a dating/relationship question as such, but just curious...Do you remember why/how you came across Dear Cupid and do you take that into account when answering questions? E.G. When you tell someone to move on/dump their partner, do you ...
A. 28 February 2012: I found this when I typed in someone's name, someone I knew from school who didn't like me back. He was using his real name for his account. I wasn't looking for relationship advice. Now I am hooked on this site.
It was easier to tell someone to m... (read in full...)
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