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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 13 April 2012: Doc H, to make it easier to understand, this is what you said. Men who have RJs but also had a lot of partners are in no position to judge, and have more reason to get rid of RJ. Men who stayed chaste, either because they can't get any girls, or ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: To prefer a woman with fewer sexual partners is normal, but to constantly torture yourself mentally with images of other men on her, and to shame your partner about it, is not. Male reader, it's good that you are the calm and collected one here. I ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: That RJ term can be a misnomer. What are men really jealous of if they disdain a woman's past? I think a true RJ is a person who thinks a woman with a past is a lesser human being, they refuse to think rationally and will never recover from RJ ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 11 April 2012: I have never come across the term retroactive jealousy if it weren't for dear cupid. Never read it in women's magazine's, internet articles, not even Psychology Today. The internet brought along a colony for these people. Finally they have a voice, ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: You know that guy who married 13 years to a wife who hid the fact that she slept with 5 black guys? He is going to divorce her. He learned one thing which is no one could fathom what he is feeling but himself. I don't think the sexual past is ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: I do get jealous if I read poems that my partner wrote to his ex. You never see women complaining about men's emotional experience because most men can relate emotionally, but to have an 8 inch and lasting hours long is an unattainable ideal for ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: I don't have problems with men who want women who treat sex as a special thing, but I do have problems with men who married 20 years to a loyal, decent, and content woman only to find out the marriage is based on a lie, and decide to throw away that ... (read in full...)
I like my girlfriend but love my friend?
Q. Ok please do not judge me but 5 years ago i met an Irish woman who i loved from the day i met her . I feel that i had such a connection with this woman and it killed me when she told me her age i at least expected only 10 years of an age difference ...
A. 9 April 2012: Ca va bien,
I am 31 and my boyfriend is 44. In his dating profile he wanted women 30-40 and he rejected a 26 year old. So I barely made it on the younger side of his preference. He likes younger women because of the youthful qualities, implying that... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 8 April 2012: Being obese and having 50 partners in the past is not a good comparison. "Sluts" can look just like you and me. Without makeup and skimpy clothes there is no way you could tell what kind of past a woman has. Not all sluts develop STDS, HPV, and have ... (read in full...)
Is it just sex or more?
Q. i have been having sex with a guy for about 2yrs now.. in the begining he and i was jst hooking up... 2yrs later... i am soo much in love... i dont think he feels the same way. he probably likes me... or does he jst like having sex with me. he ...
A. 8 April 2012: Yes it is sex and more, and that more is abuse.
He is using temper to control a reaction from you, which is going back to him time and time again for his selfish need. If it was a peaceful breakup then you would have let him go with no prob... (read in full...)
I really love him and want to be with him but I haven't been able to ignore that online situation that he has going on, which I've tried so far.
Q. I have to make a final decision and was wondering if I can get some opinions/advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year 5 months. Well, I recently (December) found out that he's been having an online relationship wit...
A. 8 April 2012: Whether his story is true or not, he is not emotionally available to you and you feel neglected. As weird as his story sounds, I do believe people have to do what they have to do to keep a job, even if means being deceptive. His efforts in trying to ... (read in full...)
After 8 turmulous years I can't put up a front. I'm very upset with my boyfriend's actions!
Q. I have been in an on and off relationship with the same man for 8 years. For the first few years everything was great, we got along well, had the same hopes and desires for the relationship, lived together etc. The past 3 years have been hell, ...
A. 8 April 2012: I had a man put my life on hold for more than a year because of living situation. We had been together 3 years. It was his decision of breaking up although he knew he could try again and again with me. I instinctively knew there are better men out ... (read in full...)
I've been offered a university place hundreds of miles away, how do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just 3 months but have said 'i love you' already, I do love and fancy him and he thinks the world of me and treats me well. What I am hiding from him is that ive been accepted into my top 3 choices for ...
A. 8 April 2012: You are actually afraid of telling your boyfriend about your dreams? Is that a good foundation for a relationship? Because of one man and his reactions you are going to let go of your dreams? That doesn't sound very wise. Just tell him you will go ... (read in full...)
My FWB chose another girl so why does he act jealous?
Q. I'm confused.My best friend is a guy,and we've had a..well..more than friends thing for over a year now.Nothing official,and I guess people would call it friends with benefits.We do act like a couple,and everyone thinks we're together.A couple of ...
A. 8 April 2012: It's funny I am thinking animals and Youwish is thinking toys. I am sure you get jealous too but at least you don't try to control him and you get your feelings under control. ... (read in full...)
My FWB chose another girl so why does he act jealous?
Q. I'm confused.My best friend is a guy,and we've had a..well..more than friends thing for over a year now.Nothing official,and I guess people would call it friends with benefits.We do act like a couple,and everyone thinks we're together.A couple of ...
A. 8 April 2012: He wants the other girl, but he also wants you. He wants many options for himself but he expects loyalty from you, that would ensure his ability to keep his females. Sorry to sound all animal here but that's what he's acting like. I went to Alberta ... (read in full...)
I want to be there for my b/f but he keeps pushing me away
Q. Why is my boyfriend behaving this way? Am I wasting my time? My boyfriend is going through some family problems at the moment and I've given him time and space to sort out his issues but he knows I'm always here if he needs to talk or wants my...
A. 8 April 2012: It's always something that he can't love you right? And you think you are supposed to fix his problems and be his saviour? Your energies would be so much more reciprocated with another man. I guarantee you the next relationship will be so much ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: Inexperienced men don't have better morals. They just have harder time getting laid. Somehow they feel that it's better to call women sluts than to admit they can't get any girls. They feel it's easier to get with a single mom than to risk rejection ... (read in full...)
Where in Europe is best for filming the beauty of everyday life?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but please I really need advice on where in Europe has the best action? (Not in that sense). Basically, I have a film project coming up and I have always wanted to film things that are amazing, so the culture, ...
A. 7 April 2012: I would vote for quieter countries like Slovenia or Croatia, any other major city is horrible for driving. People know too much about Paris, Rome and Barcelona already.... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about my lack of experience
Q. I've been dating a girl for a month now, we are't officially a couple, but she has said we should take things slowly. We've made out twice now, i am very inexperienced and she knows it, she isn't. So we kiss, no open mouth yet. I have fondled and...
A. 7 April 2012: She is experienced, so there is a kind of pretense going on when she says no sex. There is good reason for waiting. She definitely wants sex, but she has associated having sex early with relationship failure. So maybe after time she feels secure ... (read in full...)
I need to get past the pain of my first marriage
Q. How can I get over the pain that my first husband caused me? It has been over 20 years and I have tried everything I know to let it go but the pain is still there. My second husband died after 7 1/2 years of complications from a brain tumor. I ...
A. 7 April 2012: There is a thing called the pain body which is triggered by life events. It has to function to protect you from being hurt again but life as no guarantees. I don't think your first husband is to be blamed for all the pain in your life. Your second ... (read in full...)
Is my LDR committed or am I falling for him too much?
Q. I'm in a long-distance relationship. I'm in the US, he's in the UK. We've been together for over 10 months and in the course of that time we've only shown each other a photo, and as of recently started texting each other. We met online, and have ...
A. 7 April 2012: Make a list of things you can accept or not accept in physical appearance, health, things that might pass onto children, etc. He wants to have a good time and doesn't want you to be shocked when you see him. You have to love him enough so that it ... (read in full...)
He says we're broken up but hasn't made any moves
Q. Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We live together and both have children of our own in the relationship. The last month has been rough with a lot of stress and we've talked about it and agreed to make it better. I got ...
A. 7 April 2012: I think his non communication is a way to tell you he's out already but he says nothing because he has nowhere else to live. So when he comes back saying "thanks for stopping by" won't make a difference. So when you open the door you are doing him a ... (read in full...)
He says we're broken up but hasn't made any moves
Q. Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We live together and both have children of our own in the relationship. The last month has been rough with a lot of stress and we've talked about it and agreed to make it better. I got ...
A. 6 April 2012: I just wish I could say to your boyfriend, welcome to fatherhood and if the stress is so bad that you need a breather and avoid communication, you are not fit to be a father and a husband let someone else do a better job. Some woman can put up with ... (read in full...)
I backed off to give us space but he's contacting me again. What should I do?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 2 months and he can't define the relationship at the moment as he has a lot going on in his life now. In the past week I have been getting a bit clingy and mental. It has been pushing him away. so on wednesday night I ...
A. 6 April 2012: You decide how long you can live with this uncertainty. Some say 2 months is too soon, some say you are ready when you are ready. The space is for you to reflect why the need to get mental if he can't give you a serious relationship right now. Was ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 6 April 2012: At first I thought this was some kind of a joke. No jokes should ever be made about a race, with a significant other. I don't even guess which state he is from. There is a reason why he is with you, which is to feel superior over you, so that you ... (read in full...)
In a long term marriage or relationship? Then could you please define love for me? Thanks.
Q. I Don't know if you would define this question as important but it keeps pulling at my mind. I looked up how do you define "LOVE" and most articles I read said things such as "Every time you see that person you get butterflies or goosebum...
A. 6 April 2012: I meant fallen out of love.... (read in full...)
Staying safe in a taxi?
Q. Hello. I'm not sure if this question should be asked on this site, but I thought I'd try anyway. I am looking for tips/advice as to how to stay safe when travelling in a taxi. I am a 25 year old female and I use taxis a lot, as I have a physical ...
A. 6 April 2012: You should report that creep to the company. Note down the license plate and the name of the driver each time you take the taxi. You don't have to feel obligation to talk to the drivers. His job is to take you to a destination, whether you are rude ... (read in full...)
In a long term marriage or relationship? Then could you please define love for me? Thanks.
Q. I Don't know if you would define this question as important but it keeps pulling at my mind. I looked up how do you define "LOVE" and most articles I read said things such as "Every time you see that person you get butterflies or goosebum...
A. 6 April 2012: I have never fallen in love as long as the relationship is working. The rush of passion can be different at the beginning and in a committed relationship. At the beginning everything is fresh, there is an anticipation of the next meeting and the ... (read in full...)
A More Complex Forbidden Love....
Q. I will try to keep this as short as possible... I am a gay female, and I currently work with a girl who is a few years younger than me and has been in a relationship with a male for just over a year (apparently she has broken up with him once be...
A. 6 April 2012: They have broken up once before. If you step back and let them do their thing they are forced to either resolve their own issues or decide that they can't be happy with each other. Right now you are just acting like a sweet distraction and your ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a woman to sleep with another man for money but still love her boyfriend?
Q. Ok I started dating this sweet girl a year ago, we had known each other in campus but just as very casual friends. Just two months into our newfound love, I got this nice scholarship and had to leave the country for two years, it was a difficult ...
A. 6 April 2012: No it's not normal. Even if it's a common thing to sell your soul to the devil if doesn't mean you have to accept it. Your parents play no part in your decision in marriage. They don't want their son to marry a woman who whores herself for a job. ... (read in full...)
I still love my ex but I'm married!
Q. Hi I have been divorced from my ex for about 9yrs now. We still talk on a regular basis. He now has 2 kids but indicated to me that he would never marry again unless it was me. I recently re-married almost a year ago. I love my husband, but I just ...
A. 6 April 2012: This is proof that words are sweet nectar to a woman. Just think back why you were divorced 9 years ago. You have to know that you are having an emotional affair with your ex husband. I think your ex husband is either deluded or he is purposefully ... (read in full...)
Should I just have a one night stand?
Q. I'm a female in my mid twenties and haven't had sex in over eight months. I am constantly horny and masturbate almost everyday. I have never had a one night stand with a guy because I always feared stds and what not as well as my reputation because ...
A. 5 April 2012: It's not as hard as you think. You post an ad on craigslist and the next day a guy would show up at your door. No need to spend money on wine or anything.
My experience is that if the sex is good, I would want to see more of him and a bond woul... (read in full...)
My friends tell me it's too soon to take this step
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! I'm back again for some advice. Probably here more than I should be but have BPD so its always nice to have a rational insight on what other people think. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months but have ...
A. 5 April 2012: You should definitely go. I don't think it's too soon. There are people going on first dates as a vacation. Life is too short to listen to people telling you about the waiting game, the happily ever after that may not happen. Just remember that a ... (read in full...)
Was planning to move to be with my LDR, then found him on a dating site?!
Q. Help !!!! in a serious long distance relationship, we communicate daily,have plans of moving together, with me making the relocation,and found that my man is on a site, lied abt his age and seeking younger women..he last logged in today...in our ...
A. 5 April 2012: How long have you been "dating?" There are indeed bogus sites that fish for information and steal contacts from an email account. If he logged into his account he could be talking to people he had known on the site. Not excusing his lying just so ... (read in full...)
My wife got in touch with her first sex partner and sent him a pic of her's in a bikini
Q. My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4 years. My wife has been with between 60 and 70 men between the age of 18 and 30. She had one 3 year relationship during that time. About 90% of her past sexual experiences were just ...
A. 4 April 2012: She apologized to you but her response wasn't satisfying. She didn't know why she did it, meaning it could happen again because she wasn't trying her best to reassure you. Ask her if she is happy in the marriage, is one man not enough for her. Maybe ... (read in full...)
She has destroyed my life with her sexual past that I never knew about.. Just to marry her!!
Q. Ive been married 13 years, have 2 children. my wife has been very good to me all 13 years. but never thought in a 1,000,000 years this would happen to me.. I feel like my marriage was nothing but a fairytale. So this is what...
A. 4 April 2012: To leave your two boys over you are destroying three lies, a much bigger sin than lying about a race issue, or is this a number issue for you. Your capitol is 60% black, and in some neighborhoods that percentage can go up to 90%, in some areas it's ... (read in full...)
Girl is coming between my male friend and me...and I'm not sure what to do.
Q. So I think I've been in love with my best friend for a while and we tried a relationship a few years ago for a couple of weeks but it didn't work. I discussed it with him the other day and he said that I was like his sister, he could tell me ...
A. 2 April 2012: It will be hard for him to spend time with you because you have feelings for him even though you agreed that you are brothers and sisters. It will make his current date uncomfortable as she may think that you come in between them. Unfortunately when ... (read in full...)
Is this an orgasm? If so, how can I get my boyfriend to make me have one?
Q. Hey, What I'm going to ask is a little personal. But I'm wondering what really is an orgasim and if I've experienced one? Ive tried to research first to see if I have but I can never find what I've experienced When I'm rubbing my clit, afte...
A. 2 April 2012: What you have was clitoral orgasm. Some people argue that vaginal orgasm is dependent on clitoral orgasm but I don't think so. My ex fingered me and I get this feeling I wanted to pee and he said had I waited I would have squirted. So far I was only ... (read in full...)
How do I go about being more confident to be the dominant one in bondage?
Q. I'm the same person who asked about a guy wanting YOU to tie HIM up, or whatever the question was titled... And now I want to know how I can get more confident to tie him up and do stuff with him, since I'm not a confident or outgoing person....
A. 2 April 2012: The whole thing is to be done playful. It is as simple as tying a knot and having your way with him. It means not asking questions whether you are doing it right. You decide what feels good to you. He is all yours and you can do whatever you want ... (read in full...)
How can I desensitize myself and not take things so hard?
Q. I need to ask u guys this question as i really need an advice on how to stop reacting or i d say overreacting when things like this happen to me. I know it may sound silly to you, but these things upset me to the point that i become depressed so ...
A. 2 April 2012: We can't always understand people's logic and intentions. Our opinion of ourselves is all that matters. We have different ways of doing things so others may not understand us too. Most of the time people have no ill intentions, so being sensitive to ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend nag at me?
Q. I used to think that it was the woman who always nagged at the man, my mom used to be that way so I promised myself I wouldn't be. I think I'm pretty laid-back and understanding for a girl, but my live-in boyfriend of three years will nag at me for ...
A. 2 April 2012: I think he nags at you because he is initimated by your career and he is trying to gain back dominance in the household, taking his place back as a man. A woman should does what a man tells her to. That doesn't work nowadays. You said you won't take ... (read in full...)
I'm miserable in my marriage but too exhausted to leave
Q. Im so miserable in my marriage, but I feel I have no energy to leave. We both went through together lots of challenges also a recent tragedy. We loved each other, but our life had many unbelievable challenges, and now we both feel burned out. He is ...
A. 1 April 2012: I am concerned when you said you have a personal tragedy that happened to you both maybe his overwork is one of the ways to deal with the trauma. You should go to your own therapist too so he/she could explain to you what he is going through also ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 1 April 2012: I think the female reader is referring to the dating, pre screening stage, and not people who are already in committed relationships. Although I find it hard that people would go into the porn subject like on the third date. We have that article ... (read in full...)
I don't feel he wants to be with me?
Q. i'm a bit confused about whats going on in my "relationship cycle" and also whats going on in my boyfriend's head! the background: we've been together for two years now, this is a long distance relationship right now.we had a great relation...
A. 31 March 2012: A natural relationship cycle progresses into comfortable, but not boring. If all relationships get boring then everyone should just stay single. Even the most "boring" couples find fun and connect well doing the simplest things. I think he is in a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad is creating problems in our relationship and shows no signs of moving out
Q. My boyfriends and I have been together 3 years in July. We got a house together almost 2 years ago and I love him very much BUT his dad moved in with us when he started going through a divorce almost a year ago. At first he refused- said he ...
A. 31 March 2012: There must be a reason why his dad is with you and not his daughter's. There's more money at your place I guess. Since you and your boyfriend got the house together, you shouldn't move out. This is what his dad wants so he can have the whole house ... (read in full...)
Am I just wanting something I can't have or am I in the wrong relationship?
Q. Im a 24 year old with a little girl. I'm feeling extremely mixed up at the moment. I recently got back together with my little girls daddy (he is 42) who I've known for the last 8 years. In that time we've had an awful lot of problems, break up, ...
A. 31 March 2012: Did he divorce his wife or is he in the process already? I need to understand what the "awful lot of problems and break ups" are about then I can give you more advice. ... (read in full...)
My Friend will not associate with unattractive People, is this common?
Q. I'm 40, he's 22 and we've only been friends a short while. He's very intelligent - and I thought deep, until he told me that he doesn't associate with unattractive people because it badly reflects on him. He's heterosexual and his male friends ...
A. 31 March 2012: Being in a younger generation has to do with it. There are more people in the world but fewer jobs so appearance is very important in order to leave a good impression. It is actually not hard to be attractive, especially with all the information on ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 31 March 2012: Let's ignore the romance novels vs porn debate. Just stick to your guy and not generalize all men. When you say porn collection do you mean stacks of DVD or stuff in his computer history? Also what they are doing in porn is fantasy. You can't ... (read in full...)
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