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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 1 April 2012: I think the female reader is referring to the dating, pre screening stage, and not people who are already in committed relationships. Although I find it hard that people would go into the porn subject like on the third date. We have that article ... (read in full...)
My Friend will not associate with unattractive People, is this common?
Q. I'm 40, he's 22 and we've only been friends a short while. He's very intelligent - and I thought deep, until he told me that he doesn't associate with unattractive people because it badly reflects on him. He's heterosexual and his male friends ...
A. 31 March 2012: Being in a younger generation has to do with it. There are more people in the world but fewer jobs so appearance is very important in order to leave a good impression. It is actually not hard to be attractive, especially with all the information on ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 31 March 2012: Let's ignore the romance novels vs porn debate. Just stick to your guy and not generalize all men. When you say porn collection do you mean stacks of DVD or stuff in his computer history? Also what they are doing in porn is fantasy. You can't ... (read in full...)
Over the past few months our sex life has declined, and he is spending more time taking care of himself.....what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years. I realize that over time, sex can dwindle a bit as relationships progresses, but I'm trying to keep the flame alive. He seems, overall, less enthusiastic. I find myself initiating sex most of ...
A. 31 March 2012: If it's true that sex life can dwindle like yours, then F it I would be very happy being single. No more pills and side effects. Assuming he is not overweight, diabetic or other health problems the following is my guess.
Just wondering if you have... (read in full...)
Is opening up realistically a bad move to do in a troubled relationship?
Q. Alright, so i am gay but i doubt this matters since my question should apply for any relationship. I've had a lot of experiences of breaking up and i've found that it almost always start from when i'm opening up to the one i love. Either because h...
A. 31 March 2012: I know what you mean. One person opens up and scares the other away. But in your case it can be different because of where you live.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recognition_of_same-sex_unions_in_Singapore
I wonder why this is so. I find there i... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in a faux relationship! She broke up with me but still expects me to fund her!
Q. Hello people I wonder if you can help me I am in a big big dilemna in my life at the moment, 8 months ago while I was travelling around in north america, I hooked up with my 'girlfriend' who i stayed with for 3 1/2 months to cut a long story ...
A. 30 March 2012: Yeah, why go to quebec if you don't know French. Quebec's living expenses can be cheap but language is the biggest reason I didn't move there. My understanding is that you are looking for a place to live and you happen to know this girl who has an ... (read in full...)
I want to spend my life with her, Please help!
Q. where to begin.... i guess im really just looking for advice or even just to get things off my chest with an outside perspective. I guess i should tell you a bit about my situation. I met the woman of my dreams five years ago. we met on myspace.....
A. 29 March 2012: Did she know that the mutual friend was trying to break you up? Maybe she really thought you were cheating on her. ... (read in full...)
Why are my nipples so tender when he plays with them now?
Q. So, lately, whenever my boyfriend plays with or sucks on my nipples they feel somewhat tender and it's not as peasureable as it used to be. We've been together for a little over six months and he's the only one that I've done this with. He's always ...
A. 25 March 2012: It can be your hormones. My nipples can get tender any time of the month in between periods. Certain bodily changes are predictable while others aren't so. You just have to play it day by day.... (read in full...)
I get so tired of having to feel like a sneak like I just want people to know I have found someone else but its impossible
Q. am having an affair and need advice basically i am married 14 years to my wife I am 40 she is 39, we never had kids because she never wanted them at the time i thought it didn't matter because i was in love with her, i don't need children but about ...
A. 25 March 2012: If you lose your house and can still live comfortably then go ahead with the divorce. A woman should love you for who you are, not your money. Is there any possibility that your wife would file for divorce before you do? I am afraid she doesn't love ... (read in full...)
I don't have a great sense of humor. Is this why I have trouble with women?
Q. Ok, here's the problem. As I'm writing this, I apologize if it sounds a bit ranty. I'm fresh out of the situation that made me. . .jealous. Right after work, me and my buddies stood around and talked/laughed for a while. We were having a good time, ...
A. 25 March 2012: That girl you called ignored you because she had to poke you in order for you to call her. She concluded that you didn't really fancy her enough to make a move first. She resents she has to be the one initiating.
I think the problem here is you ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like he wanted to kiss me?
Q. I am the second shyest and awkwardest person on the planet. The most shy and awkward person is the guy I'm into. We are both 19 and college students, and we've become pretty good friends over the last few months. I've been into him for a while; ...
A. 25 March 2012: You are getting closer to closer to kissing. It will just happen inevitably. He doesn't know how you would react if he kissed you. The time will happen when passion overides your shyness. Best of luck to you.... (read in full...)
Dating a divorced man
Q. Hi everyone! I have been with this guy for 2 months now and he is in the process of getting a divorce. He was very honest to me in the very first time. He told me after he broke up with his ex wife, he only went out with 4 girls and nothing seri...
A. 25 March 2012: I would leave him alone. It's true that the other 4 girls is nothing serious. I would be upset because after he assumingly broke things up with the other 4 he still got in touch with them. He is trying to sound noble by "rescuing" this girl but he's ... (read in full...)
He says he isn't going to change for anyone. Should we just break up?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together a year now. he relies on me for a lot of things, money, lifts, etc but as he is depending on me more frequently we are beginning to argue more.he does work full time but is absolutely useless with money,hence me ...
A. 25 March 2012: You are not breaking up because you are arguing a lot. You are breaking up because he is a loser. He wants to be the one suggesting first because if you suggest it first he will look like a loser. What is your response to his wanting to break up, ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and he cheated on me. Should I give him another chance?
Q. im 19 years old and my boyfriend is 21 years old. Last week my boyfriend went clubbing with his friends and brother while i stayed home alone. I am 6 months pregnant with our first---twins. While he went clubbing he started dancing with this girl ...
A. 25 March 2012: What is your boyfriend, a money tree? Let's hope that the other girl doesn't have twins too. Your boyfriend's future is so screwed. I won't think about what to do with him or the other girl. I would just focus on the pregnancy, hoping for a good ... (read in full...)
All the signs say he loves me but still I am scared he doesn't!
Q. Hello there, I've been with my boyfriend for a year almost (like in two weeks we've been together a full 12 months) and I am smitten with him. When things are good they are 'perfect', he adores me, buys me everything, spends time with me, loves me...
A. 25 March 2012: It takes one visual stimuli to turn a man on and there could be 100 other things to make him lose an erection, and the problem is not you. Living with many people in the house does not help. Porn stars do lose erection and when that happens they cut ... (read in full...)
I loved her but she played me for a fool
Q. There is this girl. I had a thing for her since we were 12. I had moved continents when I was 12. I only got in contact with her when I was 18, we started chatting since last October. We used to chat basically every day. Our timezone was different ...
A. 25 March 2012: There is no destined-for-each-other when you are continents away and no promise about moving back to where she lives, and she has no dreams of moving to where you live. Some people are romantic, they like to wear their hearts on their sleeves, ... (read in full...)
My sex buddy and me kissed other people and then had sex with each other.
Q. I have a sex buddy , were a little bit more cause he holds me threw the night when I have to leave he pulls me by the waist in bed just to fall asleep next to him, we hold hands and watch movies we are so close and are always there for each other. ...
A. 25 March 2012: I think all of you are creating excuses of why you can't be in a relationship. What happened the next morning when you are sober? Getting drunk and relationships don't mix, but you can't blame your mess on the alcohol. Let's see how long you can ... (read in full...)
I was tired of being his mother!
Q. I just recently broke it off with my boyfriend of nine months, I was tired of being his mother. I did everything for that kid, and he appreciated none of it. I wasn't happy at all in the relationship. I was belittled and treated wrongly. I paid ...
A. 25 March 2012: Your ex's parents had money to pay for the cruise yet you had to pay for everything else? Are you sure he was your boyfriend? Nonetheless you would still have feelings for your ex no matter how he treated you. Kissing a guy 24 hours after a break up ... (read in full...)
How can I convince someone I love that I don't intend to look elsewhere, as he thinks I will?
Q. Please can you you help me out with a really difficult situation. I have a friend that i have been inn love with from school since I was 14yrs. He now works for me a a manager in a domestic care business. We work together closely on our own 40 hours ...
A. 24 March 2012: He is in a committed relationship. He said things when he was drunk, so him saying he wants to move in with you should be discredited. There is no sense to convince him when he is doing the thing that he doesn't want you doing. ... (read in full...)
One of the girls my boyfriend used to sleep with is OBSESSED with him and it's causing problems in our relationship! Help!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year weve only started fighting the last couple of months, and its always over the same thing...or the same person i should say. basically when i first started talking to him before we were da...
A. 24 March 2012: If your boyfriend does not see why that upsets you you should let him go. There are many things he could have done, out of respect for you, which is to block her on facebook, creat a new private account. None of that is hard to do. Your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Have I missed out by not having sexual experiences with any guy other than my boyfriend?
Q. I lost my virginity a bit later than most and have been with that boy ever since which is four years. I can see myself marrying him one day but I have one problem. He's slept with other girls before me and I feel a bit weird thinking I could marry ...
A. 24 March 2012: I have a list. While I don't regret my experimenting I could think of many positive things about having only one man in your life. If you are happy in your sexual life you should definitely stick with him. The feeling of the grass being greener on ... (read in full...)
He says no but my gut says yes!
Q. Hello! I'm a female, 40 yrs old. I've been with my husband over 24 years, been married for 15 yrs. There's NEVER been anyone in between, for him or I, I know. However, bout 2 n a half years ago, a problem arose. It was my fault. It has nothing to do ...
A. 24 March 2012: You have to think of the three outcomes. He is either going to admit the truth, deny it, or, that cheating never happened it was just talking. If he admits the truth, which is a bad betrayal for two years, you need counselling to sort out your ... (read in full...)
Porn related questions
Q. A few questions.... Are there any lucky women here whose partner does not watch/use porn? Did you have to tell them to stop? Did they lose interest naturally, how long did it take? Why is it so vital to men that they get to masturbate over...
A. 24 March 2012: My current partner does not watch porn. He thinks that is disrespectful to women. I on the other hand watch porn occasionally. He is a country boy and was raised in a Christian family with manners he says. He believes sex is love making, not animal ... (read in full...)
Does he want to be more than my sex buddy? How do I make this official?
Q. I really like my sex buddy , we always drink and go out usual , he doesn't like me talking to anyone else like he gets jeleous of other guys when I'm around them , he always picks me up to go over or just hangout , we watch movies I help him with ...
A. 22 March 2012: I would say so. Your brother is worried that once you are official he would feel neglected truth is you've been already doing a lot of couple stuff, just without the label. Tell your man what you like about him and not to worry about your brother. ... (read in full...)
Why does it feel like I'm the one having to make all the moves?
Q. Tell it to me straight people I especially need some advice from The men I'm seeing a man it's been about a month maybe once a week, but we go way back there's history. We've had three sleepover dates and lots of making out but I won't let him sl...
A. 21 March 2012: When men know that they can't go all the way (physically). They will be passive because kissing and making out get them going and make them frustrated. He maybe waiting for you to be more receptive. What are your plans for this man? A relationship? ... (read in full...)
I love him, but is he using me?
Q. I loved my ex boyfriend so much, I thought we were in love but he dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship. A year later, he gets in touch. He asks for me back says he regrets everything that happened. We spent a night together, but I'm ...
A. 21 March 2012: Your friend knows more than I do. I don't know what you did last night. You know what really makes a person move on. It's knowing that the other person also moved on too. I believe you couldn't move on because you are sensing his need for you. If he ... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 21 March 2012: I am one of those who get turned on by porn. Yes, the porn actor is usually hot, the porn actress also. I do not watch it because my boyfriend is unattractive. I am a visual person and porn gets me wet quick. I am turned on by the beauty of the porn ... (read in full...)
What advice can you give me to help with this situation?
Q. I need to understand why my husband lies about stupid things... I've asked him not to look up porn on my contract phone and he did it repeatedly and when busted he lied and said he didn't look it up... I told him if he wants to watch porn then we ...
A. 20 March 2012: I don't think he lies because he wants to hurt you or he has something to hide. He is afraid of you judging him and his decisions in daily life. Ask him why he has such low self esteem. I think the bigger issue in this relationship is boundaries. He ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend problems - Is it really over?
Q. Hi everyone. I would appreciate some advice about my situation with my boyfriend. We've been together for four and a half years and always been long distance only seeing each other on weekends. I always go to see him because I still live at home ...
A. 20 March 2012: In so many ways I think it is over. For 4 years it's mostly you visiting him. I assume he has a car and he has not been making the effort to visit you and your family. There are many things to do, many people to meet besides doing private stuff. He ... (read in full...)
How can I get him back? I love him so much...
Q. I love my ex boyfriend so much. We were so in love but then he broke up with me saying he didn't want a relationship anymore:( A year later I'm still cryin and missing him. I can't get him out my heart and my head. Yesterday I rang him, he m...
A. 20 March 2012: I think what happened to your ex is that he realizes single life is not what it's all cracked up to be, and that he tried dating others and he still loves you. He is testing the waters to see if you are still interested in him, at the same time he ... (read in full...)
We still live together but I'm worried about the friends zone!
Q. Hello, hopefully someone can help me out. Back in october my girlfriend, that lives with me still, broke up with me. we were together for over a year and a half. and she told me she still cares for me and other people claim she does, but she w...
A. 19 March 2012: Your response to the break up, smoking and signing up military is making it hard for her to want to get back with you. She can't tell you what to do, but she hopes that your mom can talk some sense to you. I am more interested to find out what makes ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 19 March 2012: I don't think porn and romance novel is a good comparison but I do see that agony aunt's point of view. He is saying that a romance novel is fantasy and the woman who reads it would expect her husband to be also macho, full of energy and romantic ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my families lack of reaction to change?
Q. Sometimes I feel like I have the lamest family ever! My parents live like stodgy 80-year-olds. Their idea of excitement is baking bread, listening to public radio, or going to church. People with piercings, alternate lifestyles and different ...
A. 19 March 2012: I think your family is cool. If they are happy the way they are why change things? They don't feel limited. They feel content, and they are enjoying the simple life and not being materialistic. The Jehovah Witness people don't even celebrate ... (read in full...)
How do I convince my conscious that things are over?
Q. I think I am having problems moving on after a divorce of a year now. I have dreams about my ex in which I'm usually just trying to chat with her in a private place to see what's going on in her life. Other times the dreams are me missing things ...
A. 18 March 2012: Dreams are not a reflection of reality. Don't be alarmed that you still dream of your ex. Dreams can be a way of healing and discharging the past. You should feel unburdened that a part of you has left your body, instead of thinking it's still stuck ... (read in full...)
How can I get completely over my ex?
Q. It's been 2 years since we broke up and i can't get over him.. We were together for almost 2 years.. He was my first love,my first long,serious relationship,he was everything to me,we loved each other,we went abroad to study together,we were there ...
A. 18 March 2012: Your brain has got used to depression and you attribute every reason to being sad to the break up. You have to remember that you've had happy times before you even met your ex. Keep doing the things that used to make you happy. You have to retrain ... (read in full...)
Why does this girl tell me that she masturbates?
Q. Please don't laugh I'm 23 I have a friend. And this girl. She will text me randomly or tell me randomly that she masterbated. Like I'm confused. Why would a girl tell a guy she masterbated? Is that good for me? Or bad that she tells me t...
A. 18 March 2012: I think you should respond it with cool, sounds like fun and not be tempted to ask her more about the experience. She is teasing you, or flirting. I don't know what her intention is. If she is interested in you more than just friendship there are ... (read in full...)
Jealous of not having "female" experiences due to looks
Q. I sometimes feel as if I'm less of a woman because I'm more on the side of Plain Jane/Ugly, and thus do not have a lot of the experiences that other women seem to bond over. I sit with a group of women at lunch, and lately at least one of the...
A. 18 March 2012: Your so called friends are not even friends. They are people who talk at you and not really considerate your feelings. Make up, fake eyelashes can change things. I have them but I just never use them and they expire. Being female is not about ... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 18 March 2012: I don't think putting the IUD in would take away the specialness on wedding night. Whatever your decision is, make it firm and do not go over them, the pros and cons. All he is interested is the yes or no answer. I don't see why he couldn't wear ... (read in full...)
How could he move on so quick?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of five and a half years called it quit a month and two weeks ago. One month after we separated he post pics on Facebook of him and his new girlfriend. My heart hurt in a place I never felt before. I don't know whether to move ...
A. 18 March 2012: Towards the end of your relationship he mentally checked out faster than you did. He would not deny what he had with you was good, but it's not good enough to carry on. When you make a decision to break up with someone, follow through and do not ... (read in full...)
What did I do wrong to make a problem in our relationship?
Q. Dear Cupids Here is some background: Bf and I were together 2 1/2 years, he went away to boot camp for two months, he was supposed to be away for four but got medically discharged. While there he met a girl and they started sexting each oth...
A. 18 March 2012: You may feel you have a little bit of control if you blame it on yourself but most likely all the problem is him. You feel like if it's your problem then you can certainly fix it. It could be a simple reason that he just can't love and have no moral ... (read in full...)
Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 18 March 2012: I don't do long distance.... (read in full...)
Here's my advise: Don't send money to people you meet on the Internet!
Q. Hi everyone. It's been two years since I have written anything on Dear Cupid, so please bear with me since I have been on a two-year hiatus. Well... I'm still single since I'm not involved with anyone else, aside from the fact that I have ...
A. 17 March 2012: I would not fly over to meet a potential date ever. When money comes up before you even meet you should have cut that person off. ... (read in full...)
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