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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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What kind of person breaks up with someone twice? Do I stay or go?
Q. Hey, so I really need help! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Around this time last year I broke up with him because I was not "in love" after all that time and I've always wanted that "amazing" feeling as everyone describes it. I ...
A. 15 April 2012: You are not ready to commit but you want to make sure there is a safety net in case one day you want a relationship. If you want to spare the pain of dumping him, tell him what he would expect while you are away next year, and let him come to his ... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 15 April 2012: When you have sex with your husband does it still feel like love making, or is it to maintain a marriage? If a marriage is dead you can't revive it by swinging. He could be lining another woman up already in case you want to divorce any time. He has ... (read in full...)
My cheap boyfriend tries to make me feel guilty to pay for our meals out!
Q. Lately, my boyfriend of 2.5 years has been giving me a guilt trip about not "treating" him to dinners. I'll ask him if we can go out somewhere nice, implying that I'll pay half, and he says "if you're treating, sure." He earns the most money out of ...
A. 15 April 2012: If a guy did this to me, I would take it as a signal that he wants out and that the relationship has no benefits to him. Something happened during these 2.5 years and is causing a rift in the relationship, or he never had an intention of committing ... (read in full...)
I like him a lot, but can you believe a guy you've never met?
Q. I started chatting with this guy like 3 years ago(knew him through facebook). I was in a relationship back then. We remained pretty close all the while. And I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago. Things were going as usual but for the last few ...
A. 15 April 2012: I don't know if your contact goes beyond text on a screen. Has there ever been skyping, phoning or photo exchanging? I think it's possible for a person to fall for how you present yourself in the phone/internet media. Provided you are both being ... (read in full...)
Why am I think of a guy who treated me horribly in the end?
Q. I sort of saw this lad for about six months and we sometimes got on great but other times he'd treat me really badly. It ended badly and he was pretty horrid. I got a new boyfriend about six months later. It's been three years since and I have been ...
A. 15 April 2012: You have been too invested in men who are no good for you. The new guy isn't really doing it for you but instead of breaking it off and meeting more people, you go back to the past as if starting a new relationship is too much hassle for you. ... (read in full...)
What does foreplay actually consist of?
Q. I read in Cosmo that the ideal foreplay time for women was 20 minutes. My question is, what does foreplay actually include? Is oral sex (cunni) considered foreplay? It can take a while for me to get turned on but i have to say i dont think i ever ...
A. 15 April 2012: You can get benefits from self pleasuring. Take note of what turns you on, ever since your puberty, what gets you wet. This is something you have to find out. Cosmo is a general guide to a variety of women. I think Cosmo would also tell you to ... (read in full...)
Should I hold on to a small hope that her new relationship will not work out or just completely move on?
Q. So, there is this girl who was a good friend of mine that I eventually started to her care for her as more than a friend. First off, after a few dates, I asked her to wait for me for few weeks, so I could find a job and treat her the I wanted to ...
A. 15 April 2012: When you take her back it shows her that you are willing to take shit from her and that her bouncing back and forth between guys, and cheating is acceptable to you. You are either willing to get in a serious relationship, or you are willing to take ... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 15 April 2012: Just checking. Had your sex life been good at the beginning and just fizzled out? Could your husband benefit by learning from other men? Or is this weakness to him? Is he blaming you for not having mind blowing sex? He thinks other women would solve ... (read in full...)
Is this guy a player?
Q. hello frnds, i need help ok lemme tell you ...i met this guy on facebook but actually we wereschoolmates he was my senior but we hardly talk the only thing he used to to in school was staring at me and onnce he made an effort and asked how i was ...
A. 14 April 2012: He is a horny masturbator, that's what he is. Five years he was too youngs and shy to be sexting with girls but right now he let his penis rule his life. He has to be taught manners and that it is disrespectful to use a girl's voice as a ... (read in full...)
Too much precum ruins the mood for her
Q. Before we have sex with my girlfriend, during foreplay I tend to release significant amount of precum. Sometimes it drops on her or touches her and she thinks that it is disgusting and gets her out of the mood a little. I don't want to wear the ...
A. 14 April 2012: I like precum because it shows how turned on a guy is. I like to lick it. It's more neutral tasting than real cum. You need to let her know how this is making you feel. She makes it sound like sex is a dirty thing. You shouldn't have to feel that ... (read in full...)
How should I flirt with a co-worker who is twice my age?
Q. Ok, well there's this mature lady who works at the same company as me. In my opinion, she is sexy as hell. She's a bit more than twice my age. Infact, her son, who I knew personally is three years older than me. INFACT, her son has two kids, which ...
A. 14 April 2012: You will both feel somewhat uncomfortable about this so the way to do it is to act like age is just a number. It's impractical to tell you to act like a 50 year old but just don't be boyish. You can do that. You are hugging and stuff but doesn't ... (read in full...)
Guys, are women with big boobs more 'valuable' than the rest of us?
Q. I was talking to my BF and he said that he was more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect and spoil her than a woman with smaller boobs. Of course I have a small B cup, and I asked him why he was with me. He said that I ...
A. 14 April 2012: A woman with big boobs and brains would not want your boyfriend. A man with brains is more valuable than a simpleton. I don't have big boobs but have men telling me they are perfect size. If you are a B at your age, you will be a C 10 years later so ... (read in full...)
Hopelessly in love with my friend but she doesn't want a relationship
Q. Hi, I need some advice if possible, 4 years ago a girl blew me away that I chased after her to let her know she just made my heart skip a beat, she smiled but politely told me she was in a relationship, but we have since became friends. Over...
A. 14 April 2012: There have been men that makes my heart skip a beat but absolutely had no purpose in my life. I have been in serious relationships with no adrenaline rush and they work just as fine. You act like a father figure to her children but some day her ... (read in full...)
My heart says wait, even though he disappeared again, over three months ago!
Q. The last time I saw him we were expressing our emotions to one another and he had said that he felt that I was the one for him and that he felt that way for a long time he also told me to be patient for him he had this amazing smile on his face that ...
A. 14 April 2012: You are playing a Would you rather game here?
Would you rather wait on a guy who's faraway, an alcoholic, promises sweet things and never deliver. Or, would you rather have a next door guy who makes no promises and wants only sex.
Aunts and uncl... (read in full...)
I didn't like what I found when I logged into my boyfriend's facebook
Q. I feel so bad and guilt because I found out my bf's password for facebook and chose to log into it today and I looked at a conversation that he had with one of his male friends the most recent person he talked too. So I found something I did not ...
A. 14 April 2012: You have to realize that if a bunch of hot guys hit on you a thought like this would come through your mind too, the desire is in you also so it goes both ways. It is all guy talk, what is his friend going to say, is he going to say no, I am whipped ... (read in full...)
Confused swinger?
Q. My husband wanted to swing and searched another couple. We started with our own partners in the same room and then went for a full swap when 3-4 mins into that my husband said this wasn't for him... But back at home he says he wants to try it again ...
A. 14 April 2012: Perhaps he feels embarrased that he even suggested swinging because it's not like the fantasy he had in mind. He tried it and did not like it. He probably thought of all the things that the aunts mentioned. You are not asking too much but sometimes ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm the doormat and the only one fighting for our relationship
Q. Hey guys.. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months. Im 27 and hes 34. During the first 3 months everything was fine and it was great. He was caring, sweet, passionate, romantic, he listened to my needs and understood me. We’ve been fighting si...
A. 14 April 2012: It's really as simple as two people don't work together. If I were a psychic I could tell you your numbers don't match and you don't see eye to eye. Why your boyfriend is still hanging on because this is typical dumpee behavior. He also knows that ... (read in full...)
Conservative Indian parents don't approve of my American boyfriend!
Q. so i come from a very conservative background. i'm indian, my family believes in marriages only with those who are indian, and care mostly for their own reputation. not too long ago, they found out i was dating an american boy for almost a year now. ...
A. 14 April 2012: I wouldn't go live with them yet. Their family can be wonderful you but what if you and him are incompatible in many ways and then you break up? Then you would have nowhere else to turn to. Tell your parents not to worry and you are not getting ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be waiting forever for him to say something
Q. I am crazy in love with one of my classmates. He had had a bad breakup about 3 years ago and he says he'll never stop regretting it and that it's the biggest mistake he's ever made in his whole life. He tells me about the stuff he used to do with ...
A. 14 April 2012: He is interested in you but is cautious to go into another serious relationship. I would find out what caused his last relationship break down and I would, through talking to him, show that you are a different person and have better problem solving ... (read in full...)
Dating a divorcee?
Q. I am a single mom of 3 and 27. I have been in a relationship with my neighbor for about 4 months. Hes 40, divorced with 1 child he gets every other weekend. We have been friends since I moved into the house 2 years ago. We had long conversations ...
A. 14 April 2012: Some divorcees want relationship, some don't. 4 months is quite new. Maybe you will fall in love first, or maybe he will first. The only way to know is to talk about it and find out what you want from each other. There are also men who fake a ... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm starting to lose my mind!!?
Q. My boyfriend is an average looking guy to me a bit chubby but to me the personality is what makes a person attractive and that's why I find him attractive. The only problem is that we don't share any interests but we at least give each other a ...
A. 13 April 2012: Just imagine, if your family approves of him, would that change things? Would that make you open up to him? It's you who decide what makes you happy. You need to decide if your connection to your family is more important than who you marry. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Broke up with the guy I was seeing to give it a shot with my best friend
Q. I was dating this guy I liked very much, when my best friend told me he really loved me and it killed him to see me with this other guy. At first I just let it be what it is, but then I started realising I do have feelings for him for a long time, I ...
A. 13 April 2012: All three of you are not in anything serious. If you want something serious you need to drop both of them but first you need to define what you want and what kind of man would do for you. It's easy to develop feelings for someone, but to find the ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm the doormat and the only one fighting for our relationship
Q. Hey guys.. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months. Im 27 and hes 34. During the first 3 months everything was fine and it was great. He was caring, sweet, passionate, romantic, he listened to my needs and understood me. We’ve been fighting si...
A. 13 April 2012: I was thinking the word doormat and then your last paragraph had it. I don't think he is a horrible guy, I am guessing you are incompatible. Men never want to be changed in a relationship while women always want to make improvements. This has become ... (read in full...)
I have a girl who likes me, but I don't feel happy about it. Why?
Q. HI everyone, I am back to here again asking for some help. This year I have moved into a new school and tried to move on from my past experience with a girl who was my best friend(at least from my point of view). But somehow I find it difficult to ...
A. 13 April 2012: You are just leaving that shadow and moving on from your best friend. Your new life has to start somewhere. Why don't you give this new girl a chance. Just talk and get to know her a bit? See if she can understand the real you, and not what other ... (read in full...)
I need to know if my girlfriend honestly does not remember performing oral sex on this guy in high school!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles im actually a veteran on this site been on it for 5 years giving advice and now im going to need some. Ok so ive been with my girlfriend for a year now but in the begining she wanted to know my sexuall past so i told her and in ...
A. 13 April 2012: Yes she did suck his cock. Happy now?
It's only fair that she asks for your past and that she reveals her past too. I think she is going to learn a lesson here. If she doesn't want to tell hers she better not ask her partner about his past.
She i... (read in full...)
I want someone who pursues me, he only pursues when I pull away. Thoughts?
Q. I am seeing a guy for almost 2 months now (although we only see each other once a week) we do text or call or check in almost every day. The first month were not intimate, just getting to know each other, then we started sleeping together, last wee...
A. 13 April 2012: I like to be pursued and I like consistency too. You decide if you are going to wait one year, or more years until he knows where he is in life or, you are free to be pursued by other men who can give you what you want now. He is keeping you at ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 13 April 2012: Doc H, to make it easier to understand, this is what you said. Men who have RJs but also had a lot of partners are in no position to judge, and have more reason to get rid of RJ. Men who stayed chaste, either because they can't get any girls, or ... (read in full...)
Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?
Q. Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...
A. 13 April 2012: It's true women are losing skills. In parenting more energy is focused on academics and extra curricula activities. Even when my mom (born 1948) grew up she had two maids. Your friends are going to agree with you, they are not going to tell you that ... (read in full...)
He's leaving me to stay with his ex and his children!
Q. I'm having a very hard time...just yesterday, the guy I've been in a relationship with for a year told me he couldn't do it anymore because he hurt too much from not seeing his children. We've been living together for a while now, he recently told ...
A. 13 April 2012: You should leave him alone. Maybe one day he will smarten up and realize that it hurts more to fake a relationship in front of children than to live freely. Maybe when the kids are older, talk more, can walk to school then he might want to seek a ... (read in full...)
How can I have a relationship when I don't trust women?
Q. All I have in this world is my balls and my word. And I don't trust women. I am not saying they're all bad. I just think when the times get tough, they disappear. And when the times are good, they love you. Am I wrong? With an attitude like this, ...
A. 13 April 2012: The psychiatrist is going to say you are normal so you are going to be disappointed that the only guidance you have is yourself. I don't trust men either, but I keep on dating, and answered to a profile which is the cheesiest one, the one that would ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: To prefer a woman with fewer sexual partners is normal, but to constantly torture yourself mentally with images of other men on her, and to shame your partner about it, is not. Male reader, it's good that you are the calm and collected one here. I ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: That RJ term can be a misnomer. What are men really jealous of if they disdain a woman's past? I think a true RJ is a person who thinks a woman with a past is a lesser human being, they refuse to think rationally and will never recover from RJ ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 11 April 2012: I have never come across the term retroactive jealousy if it weren't for dear cupid. Never read it in women's magazine's, internet articles, not even Psychology Today. The internet brought along a colony for these people. Finally they have a voice, ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: You know that guy who married 13 years to a wife who hid the fact that she slept with 5 black guys? He is going to divorce her. He learned one thing which is no one could fathom what he is feeling but himself. I don't think the sexual past is ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to tell a white lie to avoid fighting?
Q. I hate DRAMA!!! I would always fight with my ex because we always wanted to be right!!! so eventually I smartened up and realized it really doesnt matter and gave in to an argument to not fight. Im currently dating a girl and doing the same thing. I ...
A. 10 April 2012: A lying habit is a very exhausting thing. It will put off a fight but you will caught lying and the fight will be about the lying. You are not respecting a person in a relationship when you are showing them a facade just to keep peace. When you look ... (read in full...)
Can you have a 'mid-life crisis' at 19?
Q. Is my friend going though a breakdown, or some sort of life crisis judging by her behaviour. She's only 19, turning 20 in four months but she's been acting really different! We already have active social lives, but now when she's out, she's more ...
A. 10 April 2012: It's called a quarter life crisis. It's when people grow up and getting ready to face the real world. This is quite normal. ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: I do get jealous if I read poems that my partner wrote to his ex. You never see women complaining about men's emotional experience because most men can relate emotionally, but to have an 8 inch and lasting hours long is an unattainable ideal for ... (read in full...)
I don't know if we're ready for a child! Should I ask my wife to get an abortion?
Q. Hello. I am 25 years old and I'm graduating from college with my bachelor's degree in three weeks. I've been married for two years and my wife is 21 going on 22 in september. Here is my dilemma. My wife has one more semester to go after the end of ...
A. 10 April 2012: Obviously you didn't buy that condo yourself. Ask if both sides of your parents are willing to support you. 1100 sq ft is totally enough space for a couple and a baby. Unless the baby is a condom baby or a baby while on the pill, then you accept ... (read in full...)
I was afraid my boyfriend was going to hit me last night. What do I do?
Q. Im still in my 8 year relationship and have hit a wall. i went to bed the other night quite late and because the cat normally sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed. i paid the cat some attention and laid down. normally when i do this he comes up ...
A. 10 April 2012: It was a cat and it made him want to hit you. Imagine if it was a baby and you were nursing all day, what would he do to you. Let him have his bed and you move out. If the cat is yours take the cat with you too. There is a reason why some person ... (read in full...)
I lied to her and told her I am still a virgin
Q. Before I officially went out with my girlfriend, I was a virgin. However, during the time I was getting to know her (we weren't going out yet), I had sex with two other girls. A few weeks after we actually decided to make it official that we...
A. 9 April 2012: Honestly, how I would feel. Nothing. But I would hold off the sex until it will feel special, so she won't think you are using her to gain experience. If possible just let her think you are a virgin and not talk about sex until much later. Bad luck ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: I don't have problems with men who want women who treat sex as a special thing, but I do have problems with men who married 20 years to a loyal, decent, and content woman only to find out the marriage is based on a lie, and decide to throw away that ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 8 April 2012: Being obese and having 50 partners in the past is not a good comparison. "Sluts" can look just like you and me. Without makeup and skimpy clothes there is no way you could tell what kind of past a woman has. Not all sluts develop STDS, HPV, and have ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: Inexperienced men don't have better morals. They just have harder time getting laid. Somehow they feel that it's better to call women sluts than to admit they can't get any girls. They feel it's easier to get with a single mom than to risk rejection ... (read in full...)
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